White Girls Kick Widow Ash

Kagome brushed her hair lazily out of her face and then flopped her head forwards quickly, giving it her signature fluff as she got ready for bed.

Inuyasha lay sprawled on the right side couch of the tour bus, a spot for her ready beside him with a blue plaid blanket and two pillows to rest on.

Rin and Sesshomaru laid on a double-sized cot in the middle, Sesshomaru scooted as far to the side as possible, with a sleeping Rin still somehow clinging to him.

Kouga and Ayame sat in the recliner, the back tilted down and the foot rest tilted up.

Sango laid on the couch to the left with the rest of the pillows and a pink feather comforter to keep her warm. Miroku was kicked on top of the bus with a sleeping bag for groping.

As they settled down, the lights turned off and they heard Miroku's whimpers from the top of the bus.

The final thought in all of their minds as they fell into the darkness that was slumber was: Perhaps eating all that chocolate before bed wasn't such a great idea...

Kagome's dream:

I stumbled and fell, my knee hitting something hard that, after a feel I recognized as a hat. Strange. I glanced around, but it was so dark that my eyes were useless.

And then a light appeared, pointing at nothing, but I was able to disconcert that it was the floor it was shining on. Everything around it stayed in darkness. And then there was music... strange, familiar, irritating music.

"Hiya, Barbie!"

And a light was shining on me in the next moment, my body moving even as I tried telling it to stop, my lips forming words that were like acid to my ears, "Hiya, Ken!"

And Inuyasha appeared in the other spot light, his mouth grinning like something was funny, but his eyes screaming for help as he sang words just as humiliating. "You wanna go for a ride?"

"Sure do!"

"Jump in!"

It was like magic, the car that we were suddenly sitting in, a bright pink Jeep without a floor, with a plastic steering wheel, and doors that didn't open. Still it made the roar that was so electronic that it just reinforced the terror.

And then we weren't there at all, but in a toy factory. Or, that's what I gathered from the millions of giant plastic packages with brands like Brats, and My Little Pony. I had my own little torture chamber, sitting on a plastic bench with my one arm strapped above my head with a plastic wire, a cell phone tapped to my hand, the other strapped to the pink bench I was sitting on, my neck and stomach strapped to a card board wall behind me, and my feet pinned in plastic high heals to the card board floor below me, a clear plastic wall in front of me giving me a view of Inuyasha in the same predicament, only in board shorts with a surf board taped to his hand as he struggled to get out of his confinements.

My lips moved of their own accord. "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world, Life in plastic, it's fantastic!"

And then I was stock strait, my limbs failing to even bend as I looked in a giant mirror of myself in a kid-Rin's hands, a brush being pulled brutally through my locks. "You can brush my hair, and dress me everywhere. Imagination, life is your creation!"

Then I was in Inuyashas arms, and we looked to be in a giant TV commercial of us driving down an animated highway in that same pink jeep as his lips sung out, "Common Barbie, Lets go Party."

Kagome sat up fast, her head swimming from the movement as she looked around, panting. She was back on the tour bus with the guys, not in a TV, not trapped in a toy box. Get a grip! She growled at herself. Your not a Barbie girl, your not a Barbie girl.

But her head swiveled to the side to see Sesshomaru sit up fast, his body facing Sango, but his head turning in a complete circle until his face was facing her face at an unnatural disposition, a Barbie grin made her eyes go wide and she took in the bright blue eyeshadow and red lipstick, and then his mouth opened. "I'm a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie World." and Kagome screamed.

Sango's Dream:

Sango sat on a thrown, her fingers adorned in jewels, and her hair in a thousand curls toppled on the top of her head. Miroku bowed before her, his head resting on his hands which laid limply in front of his bent knees as he tried to obtain maximum smallness. He was scared, and she could tell. After all, you don't grope the queen and get away with it. She twirled the gold plated dagger in her hands and he flinched.

"Miroku, you've done a very foul deed, what do you have to say for yourself?"

Miroku didn't raise his head, but whimpered out a distressed nothingness sound.

"What was that?"

Miroku did raise his head this time, and she found he wasn't frightened at all, instead he was grinning, chuckling like a lecher. His clothes had changed from the blue suit and tie combo to the very same outfit that Aladdin wore in his movie. Sango glanced around her nervously as she was suddenly surrounded by music that she'd never heard before, but her eyes drew back to Miroku, who was dancing tword her, his knee's bent, and his stomach leaning forward a tad as he snapped his fingers with the beat.

"Miroku, what do you think your doing?"

He grunted out a sound that was entirely to neurotic for Sango's liking. And then he did it again, along with a few sounds that reminded her of Kouga after a good meal. But then, he wasn't in front of her at all.

She squealed as she was suddenly thrown back on a hundred feathery pillows of shades differing from red to pink. Miroku appeared in her line of vision as he let out a wolfish whistle and kissed her cheek. And he started singing.

"Ow, she's a brick," Her eyes widened impossible more when six handsome men in black tux's appeared out of nowhere, one fanning her, and another trying to get past Miroku's black tuxd shoulder to feed her a red grape, "House. She mighty mighty, just letting it all hang out."

Sango kneed his crotch and pushed him off of her, pushing her way past all the men and trying to run on those damn feather pillows that were worse than sand.

Miroku appeared before her, not giving her enough time to stop, and she crashed right into his embrace. "She's a brick house." She wiggled out of his arms just before his right hand reached her chest and she ran the opposite direction. "That lady's stacked, and that's a fact, aint holding nothing back."

Sango smacked one of the hot guys that tried to get in her way, "Leave me alone, you creeps!"

But she was caught from behind by Miroku, who fingered the strap of her red floor length gown. She looked down. "When the hell did I put this thing on?"

Miroku sang in her ear. "Ow, she's a brick, house. When we're together, everybody knows how this story goes."

Sango turned, yanked his head down by his hair and kneed him in the face. "Nobody knows you pervert!"

She turned around again and started climbing up the mountain of pillows, stopping only to rip the hem of her dress of to make it easier to climb. She reached the top in no time, and swung her leg onto the impossibly large chandelier, kicking away from the mountain and sighing as it started moving slowly down the ceiling like a ski lift. She was safe.

"She knows she's got everything that a woman needs to get a man."

Sango screamed as Miroku appeared out of nowhere, sitting on the opposite side of the chandelier, a microphone in hand as he tilted up her chin. "How can she lose with such a youth? Thirty six, twenty four, thirty six. Oh, what a winning hand." The Chandelier diapered and she was free falling, screaming at the top of her lungs as Miroku floated beside her almost in slow motion on his side, leaning on his elbow as he sang to her. "She's a brick house."

Sango's eyes opened and she squeaked. Sitting up, she looked around at the chaos. Kagome was screaming, "I'm not a Barbie girl, I'm not a Barbie girl!" and Inuyasha was trying to smother her cries into her chest. Sesshomaru was making warm milk and Rin was laying on her side, eyes closed, her hand rubbing Kagome's knee to comfort her. Ayame and Kouga were still asleep.

Sango growled and jumped up from the couch, flying to the door and slamming it open.

"Sango, where are you going?" Inuyasha growled.

Sango just glared at him. "To murder a pervert!"

Miroku's dream:

Miroku looked in a mirror, and damn if he wasn't delicious. If he didn't like girls so much, he might just go for himself. With a spurt of cologne, he walked outside and greeted the finest piece of woman he's ever seen.

"Hey, Sango."

She only turned to him with a snort, and music started playing.

"Sango, what's going on?"

Sango smiled at him seductively, wrapping her arm around his waist and kissing the very edge of his mouth. "Superstar, where you from? Hows it going?"

She turned in a circle around him, his arm trailing around his chest as he tried to keep her in his sight. This was a dream come true for him. "I know you got a clue what you doing."

And then she stopped in front of him, her hair down and flaming her face, her black spaghetti strap tank top and black shorts blending in with her black heels. "You can play brand new to all the other chicks out here but I know what you are. What you are, Baby." She turned away and strut down the street in front of their bus to the end of the sidewalk just beyond as a bunch of beautiful women in the same outfit as hers only pink appeared out of nowhere. She turned back to him. "Look at you, getting more than just a re-up, Baby you, got all the puppets with their strings up."

Two girls from the line behind Sango ran forwards and started fawning on the now very uncomfortable Miroku. Sango walked a little more slowly twords him and trailed her hand down his chin. "Faking like a good one, but I call em like I see em." She turned away and disappeared just as the line screamed and ran twords him.

"Sango!" He screamed.

And then he stopped, because they were on stage, Sango's outfit transformed into a pink tube top and black skinny jeans over black converse, her hair still down and streaked, with black fishnet gloves. She rested a hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek. "I know what you are, I know what you are, I know what you are, Baby."

Sango Stepped on his foot and he doubled over trying to massage some of the pain away. Kagome, Rin, Ayame, and Sango strut twords the front of the stage. "Womanizer, woman, womanizer, you're a womanizer, oh, womanizer, you're a womanizer, Baby!"

Kagome, Rin, and Ayame all appeared surrounding him and poked his chest hard enough to leave a bruise in time with the beat. "You, you, you are, you, you, you are womanizer, womanizer, womanizer."

Miroku, who was starting to sweat under all the hateful glares, put a hand on Sango's shoulder to try to explain something, anything, that would get him out of this mess, but she just turned around and sang again. "Boy, don't try to front, I know just what you are-are-are. Boy don't try to front, I know just, just what you are-are-are."

Miroku woke with a hiss of pain as a foot kicked his stomach in a very mean manner. With tears in his eyes, Miroku looked upon the woman from his dreams, or, nightmares, as she kicked him again and screamed, "You stupid, stupid, perverted Womanizer!"

Kouga's Dream

"Long ago there were three little pigs, little hat's and piggy wigs, but for the big bad wolf, the very bad big bad wolf, they didn't give three figs."

He was the wolf, yes, and he was here to destroy those stupid pigs!

"Number one, he liked to play, so he built his house with hey. With a hey, toot, toot, and he played his flute, and he played around all day, now lets ride."

He ran to the straw house, blowing it down on top of Inuyasha, who's head had been placed on a pink pot bellied pig.

He grinned, singing to himself. "Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? The big bad wolf, the big bad wolf?"

"Number two, he was fond of jigs, and so he built his house with twigs, Hey diddle, diddle, he played with his fiddle, and he danced with lady pigs, huh."

Running to the stick house, he huffed and puffed and blew that piece of crap all over Miroku, who's head had been placed on a black pot bellied pig.

"Number three said nix on tricks, Imma build my house with bricks. He had no chance to sing and dance, cause work and play don't mix."

He whispered to himself as he looked over his handy work, "Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? The big bad wolf, the big bad wolf?"

But, oh, He knew he wasn't stupid, he couldn't blow down a brick house, so instead he jumped up, and kicked the fucker to the ground, all over Sesshomaru, who's head had been placed on a grey spotted pot bellied pig.

Turning around, Kouga found Little Red, her red hood drawn and a basket of goodies strapped to her arm, the smell making his mouth water. He pinned her to a tree from behind and whispered in her ear, "Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?"

She turned in his arms, her hood sliding off her head, and Kouga recognized the red pig tails to match the cape. She reached behind his head, pulling at his long pony tail until he bent to kiss her and Ayame sang, "I aint afraid, y'all. I aint afraid."

Kouga woke with a startled yelp and glanced down at the sleeping woman in his arms, his eyes wide. "What the hell was that?"

Rins dream:

Rin pouted at Sesshomaru who was sitting opposite her at the clubs booth. It was a great party in here and he was missing it. Not to mention the fact that he had completely ignored her in favor of the petite blonde sitting next to him that he had introduced as his girlfriend.

With a growl, she jerked to a stand, drawing both of their attention as she walked onto the dance floor with the colored squares beneath her feet, the crowd walked off the floor and danced around it, giving Sesshomaru the perfect view of the woman he was secretly in love with.

Her clothes changed and she now wore a white tank top over white ripped skinny jeans and orange converse, her hair down with orange ends as she sang and danced.

"I know you like me," Sesshomaru drew away from the blonde and staired in wonder at the girl in front of him. "I know you do."

He suddenly cupped his hands to his mouth and screamed. "I do, I do!"

She grinned at him. "That's why whenever I come around, she's all over you."

He pushed the blond away and screamed, "She is, she is!"

Rin took his hand and brought him onto the dance floor, twirling around and grinding her hips with the song. "And I know you want it, it's easy to see."

Sesshomaru got on his knees and cupped his hands in front of his chest, looking very much like a dog wanting food. "It is, it is!"

"And in the back of your mind I know, you should be home with me."

Sesshomaru nodded vigorously, walking tword the dancing teen on his knees. "I should, I should!"

She twirled away from him. "Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Dontcha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?"

Sesshomaru banged his head on the floor. "I do, I do!"

Rin opened her eyes to Kagome's scream, but didn't get up, she turned over and rubbed her friends knee, trying to get back to her strange, but amazing dream. Because she was amazing. And he knew it. "Sesshy, get 'gome milk." She muttered helplessly.

Ayame's dream:

Ayame cuddled into her husbands arms, her hand massaging her abdomen where she could feel the baby wolf demon kicking. "Kouga, quite arguing, it'll be a boy, strong like his father."

The man that was holding her kissed her forehead. "Sorry, love, it'll be a girl, just as pretty and spirited as it's ma."

She looked up at him intending to kiss him into submission and then blinked. "What the..."

Justin Beiber looked back at her softly and started singing. "Baby, baby, baby, oh!"

She screamed.

Inuyasha's dream:

Inuyasha cursed his luck. Why the fuck did he tell Kagome that she was a goody goody? He knew how much she over reacted sometimes.

He chased her out of their bedroom trying to get her to slow down. If only she'd quit singing that stupid song!

She turned on him, kissing him full on the mouth. "You say that I'm messing with your head, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!" She turned away from him and walked into the closet, throwing on a pair of shorts and a tank top. "All cause I was making out with your friend, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!"

He growled and grabbed her shoulder but she didn't stop, just continued walking.

"Love hurts, weather it's right or wrong, yeah yeah yeah yeah!" She grinned and slammed the door behind her. He gave chase. "I can't stop, cause I'm having to much fun! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."

A clown jumped out in front of him, and Kagome took off the wig and danced down the hallway.

"Your on your knee's begging please, stay with me! But honestly, I just need to be a little crazy!"

Inuyasha woke half way through the strange dream when he heard Kagome's scream.

And so, no one slept again that night but Rin, who fell in love with her dream, Sesshomaru, who would never do something as undignified as dream, and Inuyasha, who, in the end, was just to sleepy to try and stay awake. The rest, however stayed awake watching each other nervously.

Did You Know: That I've no idea where the thoughts behind this chapter came from? -_- Honestly, I'm a little scared of it myself.

Did You Know: That It litterally burned my fingers writing in the Barbie Song for Kagome's dream?

Did You Know: That I can't even remember the title of half the songs in this chapter?