Confessions

The letter was crushed in Carrion's palm, as he contemplated throwing it into the fire. The diary's lock lay broken on the floor and the book open to the last written on page on the table.

"She has read this?" Carrion asked.

The room was deathly quiet except for the crack of embers burning in the grate. His servant bowed before he answered, and remained low as he spoke. There was no way of telling what Carrion's reactions would be, so it was best to appear humble from the very beginning.

"Yes my Lord. Prince Quiffin took it straight to her."

He saw Carrion close his eyes against the news, and his grip tightened on the letter.

"You may leave," Carrion said.

His servant bowed again, this time lower, and before he left the room, he saw his master throw the letter into the fire. He closed the door and wondered what had been on the paper, but it was a mystery he was never going to know the answer to.

The edges of the paper turned brown as it curled, and the flames burnt a hole in the middle. Carrion watched the words disappear into smoke, burning away as if they had never been written.

The letter could be destroyed, but the repercussions were going to last for a long time. There were two things he could do now, either let things continue as if he had never seen the letter, or intervene. He weighed up the advantages of both against each other.

The wind outside was bitterly cold today, and the outdoor lamps were flickering as they fought to stay alight. Boa pulled her coat closer around her chest, and held it tightly around her neck to keep out the chill.

"I haven't been out here since we arrived," She commented as she walked.

Aelda shivered in the cold.

"I don't think you've been missing much. It doesn't look like they go in for ornate gardens here," Aelda replied looking around with distain.

Boa lead the way down a path that began to wind around the tower. It was nothing like her home, which was bursting with flowers and always smelled sweet with pollen. Here it was gloomy, with shadows cast over mysterious objects which decorated the grounds. Parts of old statues began to appear the further they walked.

"It's an angel," Boa said walking towards a carved figure of a woman. It was laying on it's side, half buried in the ground.

Aelda looked around once more, she was disliking this place more and more. Statues of angels meant only one thing. She watched Boa examine the face with her hands.

"It's a gravestone Boa. You're standing on someone's grave."

Boa snatched her hands back instantly and stepped away. She felt a chill run up her back, and the view she had seen before her changed drastically. She was no longer walking in royal grounds, she was walking in a graveyard.

"Let's stick to the path," Boa decided.

"You still want to walk through here? You'll be walking on people's graves!" Aelda exclaimed.

"They won't mind," Boa replied before picking her way around the mud on the path.

The graves grew closer together the further they went, but Boa could make out none of the names on the stones. She would need her own lamp if she was to explore them more carefully. She wondered as she went, who the graves belonged to? They all looked very old, and clearly no one buried their dead here any more.

"Maybe the graves are empty?" Boa mused. "You wouldn't want to anger any spirits by living so close to them. Maybe it's memorials to the missing?"

Aelda didn't reply, something had passed across the corner of her eye and she had paused in her tacks.

"What was that?" she asked alarmed. "Did you see it?"

"What is it?" Boa asked peering into the darkness.

Aelda shook her head, and touched Boa's arm to keep her still. They listened intently for any sound, but all they could hear was the wind whistling over the grass and over the graves.

Boa laughed nervously, and began walking again, but before she had even taken two steps, someone jumped out in front of her.

Both women screamed, and Aelda rushed forward and pushed the man backwards, instinctively to protect Boa. There was a yell as the man fell over onto the ground.

"Bloody hell!" he exclaimed as he fell.

Boa kicked the man in the leg, not caring if it hurt him or not.

"Quiffin, I hate you!"

Her brother looked up at her grinning.

"I scared you," he said happily. "You thought it was a ghost, I know you did. Don't try denying it!"

He made a ghostly 'whoo-ing' noise which resulted in him being hit again, this time in the arm. Boa took her maid's arm as she stomped past him, and ignored his taunting.

"Aw, come on Boa, it was only a joke," he said once he realised he was being ignored.

"Well it wasn't funny," Boa replied, refusing to look at him. "You know this place gives me the creeps."

"No. How was I supposed to know that? A few days ago you told Carrion that you liked it here," Quiffin reasoned. "How was I supposed to know you were lying?"

Boa turned to face him.

"I wasn't lying!" she exclaimed indignantly. "You don't understand what's going on here. You don't know anything!"

Quiffin studied her face. He had be torn the whole time he had been here, as to whether Boa was actually enjoying herself or not. One minute she'd look as if she could burst into tears, and the next she was smiling, seemingly without a care. But something wasn't right with her now, and he had his suspicions that it had something to do with the letter.

"Well, why don't you tell me then?" he asked.

To him it was pretty straight forward. Boa either wanted to stay or she didn't. She either wanted to marry Carrion or she didn't, since this was what it was all leading towards. All this vacillation between the two was confusing to him.

Boa sighed. She trusted her brother to listen to her worries, but she didn't trust herself enough to explain them properly. Everything was so confused in her own head, that she didn't know what she was doing anymore. Trying to live one day at a time was just as hard as looking forwards.

"Aelda, I think I want to talk to my brother alone for a while."

Her maid nodded, glad to leave the graves, and let the pair continue walking into the darkness, and towards a grove of trees.

Boa took her time in choosing her first words, how she began this would probably determine the entire conversation. There was so much she wanted to say, but she also felt ashamed to admit her feelings in this way.

"I wish you could simply guess what I'm feeling; it hurts to bring it all to the surface," Boa said gazing at the trees that were now over their heads.

"I wish that too," Quiffin said,

He didn't want to face the fact that whatever she might now tell him, he might not be able to help her with. Being older didn't automatically make him wiser. Yes, he had experienced more of life than she had, but it didn't mean anything that he had experienced was useful now.

"I know what you want me to say. You want me to say I'm happy here, but I can't say that. I don't think I would be happy anywhere that I went."

Quiffin nodded, even though he didn't understand what she meant; but he knew sometimes it was best not to say anything at all.

"Boa, I have to ask you something," he said. He wished he didn't have to do this to her, but if he didn't, things could get a lot worse.

"I understand."

"Boa, are you engaged to Lord Carrion? Now, don't speak, let me finish," he said, stopping Boa from answering in haste. "Whatever you say, I promise I will not make a judgement upon, I just need to know."

Boa looked down at the ground. There were tears in her eyes, and Quiffin couldn't be sure whether they had been caused by upset or the cold wind. Boa's long hesitation in answering made him worry, if the answer was 'yes' he didn't know what he was going to do. It would explain a lot, but he prayed she would say no.

Boa shook her head.

"He hasn't asked me to marry him," she said. She saw the relief in her brother's eyes, it was so strong that he was unable to hide it. "I'm not engaged," she confirmed.

"Well I can't pretend to be disappointed. You do realise that every moment you stay here, the rumours that you are get stronger? It wont be long before mother and father hear about them, and they will not be able to ignore it. The only reason you haven't become a huge scandal already is because I'm here with you."

"Quiffin, I know you think I'm stupid. But I know all of this. It may have taken me a long time to open my eyes, but now I'm frightened. How do I ever go home now?" Boa asked.

She cross her arms across her chest and hugged herself against the wind, searching for comfort. She kept looking around for spies, and she was certain that they were being watched by something, if not someone.

"What do you mean frightened? Boa if you want to go home, I'll take you home right now!" Quiffin said earnestly. Boa had to know that she wasn't trapped here. This was what he had been fearing ever since she had got here, that Midnight would work on her mind until she became a prisoner.

"You're right about an engagement, Lord Carrion will ask me. I've been acting wrongly, except I didn't realise it at the time. I know now that I should have just been consistent from the start, but I was frightened of angering him. It might sound crazy, but I like the way he treats me, it makes me feel nice."

"But that isn't enough," Quiffin said.

Boa shook her head.

"No, it's not enough to stay with someone. The truth is, I'm scared of him. I'm scared to leave because I don't know what he'll do!" Boa said.

She shuddered. All of these thoughts that she had kept buried deep in her mind for so long, and she felt lighter for speaking them.

Quiffin stood in silence thinking. Boa was right to be scared of Carrion, he wasn't someone he would trust, and whilst he was glad Boa wasn't going to be staying here when he returned home, he feared the repercussions of her leaving.

"Boa this has been going on too long for you to expect to be forgiven," Quiffin said reasonably. "But we need to leave soon. You need to make an excuse, one that he'll believe. You'll have to continue like you have been so that he lets you go home."

Boa looked at him with a panicked look in her eyes. Now she had spilled her secrets, she didn't think she could fool herself or anyone else anymore.

"Quiffin, I'm becoming someone I don't like," she said looking at the ground. "I just want to go home."

"We will, we'll go home soon. I'll arrange our journey immediately."

The strange world Boa had been spinning for herself since she had arrived in Midnight was crashing down. Quiffin could see now how her conflicting actions had been reasoned. With one hand she pulled Carrion closer, and with the other she was pushing him away, trying to keep herself safe in a balance-- but it wasn't working anymore.

It was time for decisions, and while Boa had spoken truthfully to him in this moment, Quiffin was concerned that she might not be ready to make a clean break of her friendship with Lord Carrion. The game was becoming normal to her, and a part of her life. If she stayed she might forget that she was only playing until it was too late.

AN: No, I haven't forgotten about the letter!! It's just that things that need to be gotten out of the way first. The letter is not a throw-away side plot, so please don't feel cheated if you really wanted to know what it said, you will soon,

Thank you to enigmatic poet, spirochick39, Chorus girl 24601, and delavega for reviewing!!