A/N first of all: sorry for updating only now when I've promised to do so for 4 days in a row already! Work, busy weekend, flight to meeting, meeting... uff.

A/N2 then: sorry for not answering the latest reviews yet! I've read them all, loved them, smiled at them and cherish them. You've all been so supportive! 3

Enjoy reading this last chapter. There'll be an Epilogue soon to close the story.

Chapter FIVE

She got lost in his embrace. He whispered soothing words into her ear while she tried to control her sobbing but failed to do so. All the emotions she had to suppress during the day now found their way out. Her hand grabbed the fabric of his tailcoat so tight that her fingers hurt but she needed something to hold on to, otherwise she would collapse. He was the only person in the entire house that was aware of her life story, knew how much she loved her sister and how proud she was of her origin, her country, her home, although she now called Downton Abbey her home. He had been her confidant from the very first day.

"I'm sorry", she buried her face in the lapels of his coat. "I did not mean to cause a situation like this." Her mind told her to back off immediately and that her behaviour was more than unprofessional. Though her heart spoke a different language. She needed the comfort only he was able to give her now, because he was the only one who could understand her emotional distress.

"You did not cause a situation." His chest vibrated when he spoke. "And you must not feel sorry. Not at all." He whispered the last sentence and tightened the embrace, drew her even closer and she could feel his breath on top of her head and, to her surprise, his lips on her hair next. "Sometimes telling someone how you feel is necessary to cope with the situation."

She loosened the grip on his coat a bit and let her hands wander to rest on his hips. "I don't want to lose her. She is the only one I have left." Her eyes were closed and the constant flow of tears had recently stopped. The effect he had on her was more than soothing. She was feeling safe and more at home than ever before.

"Why don't you take a few days off to go and see her? I'm sure his Lordship won't have any objections." His hands stroked her back reassuringly and without any hesitation or restraint.

She raised her head to look at him, studied his face for a moment, the worry in his eyes, the apologetic smile on his lips. "Thank you." He was so close now. Only once had she been in a similar situation and that had led to something both of them had never again spoken of.

ooooo

Every year they organised a huge garden party at midsummer and Mrs. Willow had kindly requested Elsie to assist her with the preparations. For two weeks she had worked more than was good for her health and was utterly exhausted when the day of the actual event finally came. Since the break of dawn she was on her feet, hurrying up and down stairs, directing the younger housemaids, giving all the rooms a final touch, discussing menus with Mrs. Patmore. She was delegating as much work as possible but still, her position was that of a head housemaid not that of the housekeeper. So she had to serve during the garden party after all, though her feet hurt. She had to smile and curtsy when her eyes fell almost shut. Had to delegate even more when her voice had almost left her.

When the sun began to set Mrs. Willow finally dismissed her to get some rest and Elsie went back inside the house to take off her apron and cap. Relief was an understatement to what she felt after she finally stepped out of the backdoor again and into the backyard, taking a deep breath, ready to enjoy what was left of the evening.

The air was still warm and smelled of summer so Elsie decided to enjoy a few moments of solitude down at the lake. How she managed to walk all the way across the large grounds on her sore feet she could not recall, but it felt wonderfully to plunge her swollen feet into the cold water. Nothing had ever been more soothing except when she had run across the endless meadows behind their farm after a summer rain.

"Ms Hughes." She startled and turned around as she heard his voice behind her. "Lady Grantham was looking for you to thank you for all your efforts." Slowly he approached her. She could feel the wooden pier vibrate underneath his steps and the closer he came, the more aware she became of how inappropriate her attire was. Her legs were bare and her feet were still dipped into the lake. Her skirt was up to her knees and her hair was far from being perfectly pinned up. In a frantic hurry she covered her legs so that the hem of her dress accidentally got soaked. The moment she was about to stand up, he was standing directly behind her.

"I am sorry Mr. Carson." Right now she did not at all look like the capable head housemaid of Downton Abbey but more like the young, naïve girl she once had been. Instead of telling her off as she had expected, he offered her a hand to help her to her feet. Hesitantly she accepted his offer. "Thank you very much and please excuse my rather inappropriate attire."

"You did not expect anyone to join you down here then?" the smirk on his face confused her.

"To be honest Mr. Carson I wasn't even aware that someone knew about my whereabouts." She had learned to love this place and as often as possible walked down the overgrown path from the house. The quietness and peacefulness were a comfort after a busy day. No one else seemed to ever bother the rather long walk. It was her secret sanctuary.

"I had noticed that you often come here." She must have shot him a shocked look because he did not continue with what he was about to say. "Never mind. I believe it would be best If I turn around now and allow you to get dressed properly again."

She looked down at her bare feet that looked out from underneath the wet seam of her black dress and stifled a laugh. This encounter was most peculiar and awkward though she had to admit that she enjoyed it immensely. He had turned his back on her and she quickly put on her stockings and shoes. "Would you mind if I accompany you back to the house." He spoke without looking at her although she had finished dressing.

"You can turn around again Mr. Carson", the cheerfulness in her voice was unmistakable now. "And yes, you may accompany me to the house."

He offered her his arm. "I hope I did not embarrass you, Ms Hughes." The look he gave her was probing as if he was trying to find something out. "You must know that this is also one of my favourite places on the grounds and after I noticed that you also grew fond of it, it was the first place that came to my mind when I was sent out to look for you."

Again she could not hide the astonished look on her face after he had made this confession. Her heart skipped a beat but so did her feet when she suddenly tripped, lost her footing and was only saved from falling by his strong arms that caught her. The next thing that happened was something she had envisioned endless times during her sleepless nights, wished for every minute since her arrival at Downton and imagined to never become reality because of what he had said on her first day. But she could feel those lips on hers, feel the warmth that spread through her body and the tingling sensation in her stomach.

"Excuse me Ms Hughes", he murmured very close to her face while her eyes were still closed.

ooooo

"You are welcome", he whispered hoarsely while holding her gaze. She could tell what he was thinking right now because she knew him, was aware of their history together. His hands still touched her lower back and she believed that she could feel the warmth of his hands even through the many layers that covered her body in that particular place. The physical closeness they were both experiencing now had never existed between them. Exchanging glances, smiles, words was all they ever did for almost twenty years. She learned to be content with that, learned to hide her feelings to an extent that caused more hurt than it did her good. But it was necessary she had told herself over and over again. Letting her heart take over was a risk she was afraid of, although it was all she ever wanted to do.

Right now she was vulnerable, incapable of restoring that façade of pure professionalism. He was able to help her, he was the one that gave her the support she needed so desperately since she had read that letter. She tiptoed to be closer to his face, closed the distance between them and placed a shy kiss on his lips.

Immediately his body reacted when his hands tightened their hold and she felt how he tensed up. She wanted to say something, thank him again, tell him that she would be fine as long as he would be there to comfort her. But she could not because her lips were sealed with another kiss that lasted much longer than the first and left her breathless.

TBC with an Epilogue soon :)