Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringment is intended.

Author's Note: I imagine most of you thought that I had fallen off the face of the earth. I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long. I've been going through somewhat of a difficult time. Thank you for being patient with me.

She was freezing. It seemed as though she had never been anything but cold. "Can't you turn up the heat?" she snapped at the way too young girl tying attaching the way too long needle to the little tube that would take her blood.

"This will be over in a moment Mrs. Gilmore," the girl said wiping alchohol over her vein.

"You can't be more than sixteen," Emily said as the girl told her to make a fist. "I want someone who is not part of some high school program."

"I'm almost 23 Mrs. Gilmore," the girl said with a little edge in her voice and Emily drew in a sharp breath. She was the same age as Rory. Rory...who had no idea what was going on, and who she had flat-out lied to. What if Richard wasn't able to get her here in time...no, she would not allow herself to go there. She couldn't consider the unthinkable.

"Well," Emily snapped. "You don't have to have an attitude."

She looked away as she felt the "small bee sting" she was told she would feel, but she turned to watch the blood flow out of her. She lay back against the pillow and thought of the precious life she had sheltered and nourished inside of her for nine months. She suddenly felt tears stinging in her eyes and shook her head. It was so easy then—eat right, get plenty of rest, drink plenty of fluids—and you could take care of that life inside of you. And that was it. After that she couldn't ever protect Lorelai...not really. Now somewhere in this gray, lonely hospital her baby's body was broken. Her guilt seeped through her and she felt like her skin was crawling. What could she have been thinking? Why didn't she call the doctor the moment Lorelai was in pain? She had been so concerned about not losing the new found connection to her daughter, so concerned about herself, that she had ignored the fact that Lorelai was in trouble.

"Dear God...how can I face Rory?"

The only thing that brought her comfort was knowing that her blood, her body would once again be able to sustain her child's life. Maybe it would all be over before Rory came. As soon as the test came back positive she would be ready for the surgery.

"That's it Mrs. Gilmore," the technician said, "I've got to get these tests up to the lab.The results will be back soon."

"Well hurry up," she snapped and then drank down the orange juice the girl gave her. "Where's my daughter?"

He missed the first step. That was what Richard couldn't stop thinking about. He had been in Europe when it happened. He had missed it, and the thing that killed him now was that he hadn't particularly cared. He had missed so much. It was all he knew really, his father had rarely been around when he was growing up. It was the man's job to provide for his family. That meant making sacrifices. As he swirled his drink in his hand he remembered back to when he was he was ten years old. He remembered it so clearly, he had finished a model airplane he had been working on for months that he wanted to show his father. He remembered the long walk to his father's desk and seeing him peer over his glasses at him.

"Richard, I don't have time for you right now," he had said and then returned to his books. It was three months later that the word "diphtheria" began circulating around the household. He had been taken out of his bed in the middle of night and sent to Aunt Matilda's house in the country. He had loved it there. It was a different world. He spent his afternoon catching frogs and going on wild crusades with his cousin James. He had played football and ran races. One night his aunt had let him and James sleep outside in the field. He had stayed awake most of the night marveling at the array of sparkling diamonds in the sky. He had never seen anything so glorious. It had been the best summer ever and it was the last one he would ever know as a child. He would never forget the look on his aunt's face when she woke him up one night in August to tell him that he no longer had a father. He would never forget his mother's eyes as she welcomed him home.

"You're the man of the house now Richard," she whispered as she hugged him. He couldn't wait to grow up after that. He couldn't wait to take care of his mother and his sisters. Since that day that was all that had driven him, to be able to take care of the people he loved. He had pushed himself in everything in order to become his father. He had gone to Yale, excelled in his studies, and taken care of his mother every step of the way. When his beautiful Emmy had walked down the aisle to meet him he had vowed to take care of her with all his heart and soul. When he had held his tiny baby girl in his arms for the first time, he pledged to protect her and provide for her. He had failed Lorelai. He knew that--always had in his heart of hearts. He had given her everything he thought a little girl could want, a beautiful home, pretty dresses, lovely dolls, the best education in the best schools, but in the end what had it meant? He looked down at his shaking hands, turning them over and over again. He had missed the first steps. He had missed his daughter's childhood. He had become his father, and he hated himself for it.

Emily had always hated the smell of hospitals. The scent of alcohol made her sick to her stomach, but more than that, it meant fear. She clutched her coat tighter to her as the doctor led her through the hall.

"Right here Mrs. Gilmore," he said quietly. "I'll have to ask you to stay only a few minutes."

Her breath caught in her throat as she approached Lorelai's bed. She was so still, so white.

"Lorelai," she whispered crossing over to the bed. She cradled Lorelai's hand in hers. "No monsters are out tonight, Daddy killed them all last night," she whispered as she smoothed back Lorelai's hair.

She brought Lorelai's hand up to her cheek and her voice broke as she whispered, "I'm right here. It's going to be okay. I promise. I'm going to make you all better."

She put her hand down, still holding it and caressing it with her thumb. She wondered how long it would be before they told her she was going into surgery. She was a little scared of it, she had never been in the hospital before, except for having Lorelai. She had never broken any bones, never needed any surgery. She wished Richard was there to hold her hand, and tell her that everything was going to be okay. She wished Rory was there to be the comfort that she always was. But...they weren't there. She was going to have to face this alone for a little while. She was amazed at how quiet everything was as she sat there holding her daughter's hand. The only noise came from the gentle beeping of the monitors. It was comforting in a way, to hear her daughter's heart. It reminded her of lying awake at night when she was pregnant and feeling Lorelai kick. She suddenly felt peaceful sitting there, and for the first time felt assured that things really would be okay. She rested her head against the back of the chair, suddenly feeling incredibly tired. She closed her eyes when suddenly an alarm sounded on one of the monitors, and then another. Lorelai's chest heaved in protest.

"Somebody help me please!" Emily shouted and a flock of nurses ran in. The doctor bolted in behind them,

"What's happening?" Emily cried. "What's happening please!"

"Her lung's collapsed again. I need to tube her now!" the doctor ordered and Emily watched as he put a tube down her throat. "Blood pressure's dropping rapidly, heart rate decreasing."

"Dear God," Emily cried

Emily felt a nurse guiding her away, "We need to let the doctor do his work Mrs. Gilmore, let's wait outside."

"Get your hands off of me," Emily barked. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Come on Mrs. Gilmore. You can wait right outside."

She finally relented and went outside of the room. She watched the doctor's hands work feverishly over Lorelai, her hands clinging to the door.

"Please God," she whispered. "Please, don't take my baby. If you have to have her, please...wait until Rory gets here. Please don't take her until Rory gets here."

She had been so lost in her thoughts that she cried out when the doctor touched her shoulder.

"We're been able to stabilize her right now Mrs. Gilmore, but her condition is still critical. We are going to do everything that we can to get her to surgery, but...you need to prepare yourself."

Emily nodded slowly and turned back towards Lorelai,

"Hurry Richard," she whispered hoarsely.

Richard fairly exploded out of the plane as soon as it landed. He had felt so helpless just sitting there, and as soon as the plane had stopped, he knew he would not stop again until he had found Rory. He called the police for help and soon was on his way in the back seat of a police car to the Obama rally. As soon as they pulled up, he began searching wildly through the crowd, nearly driven mad by his desire to find her. He needed to tell her what was happening, to get her back to Lorelai, but it was more than that. He needed to see her. He needed to see those sparkling eyes looking up at him. He needed to feel her in his arms, to know she was safe. He went dizzy with relief as soon as he saw her, scribbling down furiously in her notebook and taking pictures.

"Rory!" he called out.

She turned in surprise, "Grandpa!" she cried in delight, and then her eyes widened in fear, "What's wrong?" Richard crossed the space between them and put his arms around her, holding her tight.

"Grandpa!" she cried, "What is it? What's wrong?"

Luke saw her as she walked weakly down the hall, still clutching to her coat. She looked like she was about ready to faint so he came up along side her and put his arm around her.

"We almost lost her," she breathed.

"I know..." Luke said, his voice breaking. "They just told me. Where is she?"

"They're prepping her for surgery right now. They need to be ready as soon as the donor is found," she stopped and shook her head, "What's taking so long?"

"They'll find it. Come on, I need to show you something," he walked her over to another hall and Emily felt like her heart jumped into her throat. The hall was crowded with people waiting in line to be tested as a donor. Some she recognized--Patty, Lorelai's neighbor, Sookie, Jackson, and some she didn't, but they were there because they loved her daughter, and even in the midst of terror, it was one of the most beautiful sights she'd ever seen.

"Let's get you to the waiting room," Luke said softly and led Emily away.

"Thank you," she whispered as they walked down the hall together.

"You're welcome," he replied as he led her into the waiting room.

Mia was there and stood up as Emily walked in.

"Emily dear, here sit down," she said gently as she helped Luke sit her down.

"How is she?" Mia asked anxiously.

Emily shook her head, "Critical," she choked out, "She's got to have the operation soon, and she's so weak that she may not make it through it anyway," her voice broke and Mia put her hand over hers. "I'm going to go get you some water," she said quietly, her own voice shaking.

Emily nodded, clutching the sides of the chair tightly. "It's my fault," she said hoarsely, staring straight ahead.

"What?" Luke asked incredulously.

"It is...it's my fault. I knew she was in pain. I knew she was in trouble and I did nothing,"

"Emily, there's no way you could have known this was going to happen. It's not your fault. It was the accident."

She shook her head, "I told her we should have gone to the doctor. She didn't want to go so I didn't push her, I should have taken her there. I should have got her to the doctor. I'm the mother. It was my responsibility."

"Emily..."

"What am I supposed to do now?" she asked, looking up at him with watery, scared, child-like eyes. "I...I can't lose her Luke, I just can't"

Luke put a comforting hand on her shoulder and squeezed it as Mia walked in with the water.

"Thank you," Emily said as she sipped the water. They all stood up when the doctor walked in the room.

"We found a match," he said and Emily sat back down in relief. "Thank God," she whispered. She stood up with renewed strength and took off her jacket coat.

"Where do I go to get prepared for the surgery?" she asked.

"Um... actually it's not you Mrs. Gilmore. You were not a match."

Emily drew back, "What?"

"It's uncommon in mothers and daughters, but still happens. Your kidney is simply not compatible with your daughter's body.

"Than whose is?" Luke asked anxiously.

The doctor looked down at his chart.

"Please no," Emily thought to herself, "Please"

"It says here the match is Mia Halloway