REVIEW!
Chapter 230 – Does he love me?
"don't frown at me..." my Muneca said and I smiled at her, she looked back at her book.
I listened to the next song…oh wow. Alright.
Ay payita mía
Guárdate la poesía
Guárdate la alegría pa'ti
(Ay dame dame damelo)
As I heard the song, I translated it in my head. 'Ay my gypsy save the poetry, save the happiness for you' I smiled to myself, so Esmeralda's was not blocking her feelings, she loves me and is happy and Thomas knows it. YES!
No pido que todos los días sean de sol
No pido que todos los viernes sean de fiesta
Tampoco te pido que vuelvas rogando perdón
Si lloras con los ojos secos y hablando de ella
I looked at Esmeralda and she was reading as I translated the next verse of lyrics to myself. 'I'm not asking that every day be sunny, I'm not asking that there be a party every Friday, Nor do I ask you to come back begging forgiveness, If you're crying with dry eyes, Speaking about her' I smiled again and looked at Esmeralda, so he thinks that my Muneca will be begging for forgiveness hahaha PLEASE!
Ay amor me duele tanto
Me duele tanto
Que te fueras sin decir a dónde
Ay amor, fue una tortura perderte
Yo se que no he sido un santo
Pero lo puedo arreglar amor
No solo de pan vive el hombre
Y no de excusas vivo yo
I laughed and looked back, Thomas's eyes were closed. This is what this part meant. "Oh my love, it hurts so much. It hurts so much..That you left without saying a word
Oh my love, losing you was torture, I know I haven't been a saint But I can make it up to you Man doesn't live on bread alone, Nor do I live on excuses" I smiled and looked at Esmeralda, who flipped the page over and continued to read. So my wife did leave him without saying a word..she had told me when she was pregnant with Selena. Off course, I know Thomas is not a saint. I laughed again and Esmeralda looked at me.
"it was torture that he lost you Love" I said smiling. She rolled her eyes at me and kept reading. "these songs are so about you Muneca". She just shook her head saying no and kept reading.
I laughed at her reaction, she knows it is about her but she is reading. I love her so much. Next song, wow…hahaha battlefield. Wow, Thomas is being his cleaver Thomas. I laughed again and listened.
Don't try to explain your mind
I know what's happening here
One minute it's love
And suddenly it's like a battlefield
One word turns into a war
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down?
My world's nothing when you don't
I'm not here without a shield
Can't go back now
I laughed again and looked at my wife, she looked up and shook her head "so his world is nothing without you so it seems"
"would you listen to that" Esmeralda said sarcastically and laughed and looked back at her book.
Both hands, tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
Why we gotta fall for it now
I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like
Can't swallow our pride
Neither of us wanna raise that flag
If we can't surrender then we both gonna lose
What we had, oh no
I laughed again but this time I put the arm rest between us up and leaned closer to my wife. Kissing her neck I said "so I did win the battlefield..the flag was raised" and she turned around and I kissed her. She laughed in out kiss and moved her head.
"Nathaniel..please not here" she said begging
"oh come on..he is sleeping" I said and kissed her again.
She moved her head and said "we both know he is not, he can't hear us but it is not right"
I signed and she put down the arm rest between us again. "so you agree these songs are about you?"
"I am not paying attension to them..I am reading. You tell me" she asked and smiled
"don't listen to them…they are really stupid" I said and held her hand and kissed it.
"I love you" she said smiling.
"I love you more" I said and she went back to reading her book. This song ended and the other one started.
I leaned back on to my chair and listened. No, you do not belong with my wife! Damn it, I know that Esmeralda is listening…she is pretending to read. I know her very well and she is pretending to read because of me.
I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you, so
I should have held on tight
I never shoulda let you go
I didn't know nothing
I was stupid, I was foolish
I was lying to myself
Damn it..so he is saying that he did not mean it when he said he did not love my Muneca. I know he did not mean it and that is why I took Esmeralda to him…I looked at Esmeralda and she was pretending to read. "he is saying he was stupid to let you go" I said and touched her hair
"what" Esmeralda said.
"oh come on…Muneca, I know you are listening to the song" I said
She laughed and said "The Notebook is a really good book. Don't interrupt me again" and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. I smiled at her and she went back to reading.
I shook my head and kept listening.
I could not fathom that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself
Cause I didn't know you
Cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling
Now that I don't hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice
Oh, what I wouldn't give
To have you lying by my side
Right here, cause baby
"he wants you to be lying next to him" I said and looked at Esmeralda
"reading love" she said without looking up.
I signed and kept listening.
Who else am I gon' lean on
When times get rough?
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up?
Who's gonna take your place?
There ain't nobody better
Oh, baby baby, we belong together
"well Elena will take your place" I said and kissed Esmeralda's neck again.
"Love..please, not here" she begged. I stopped. The song ended.
Another song started and it made me angry..a woman and a man were singing.
Ven y quedate conmigo, dame el corazón
Vida mà a estoy muriendo lento en mi prisión
Anda, dà me lo que sientes quitate el pudor
Y deja de sufrir, escapa con mi amor
So the song had a really nice music, the type of Spanish song that Esmeralda loves. It said, "come and stay with me, give me your heart. My life I am dying slowly in my personal prision..come on tell me what you feel and let go of you suffering, escape with me love". I was really mad because Esmeralda did escape with him once..
"Esmeralda, you are listening right" I said.
She looked up and rolled her eyes. I signed in fraustration and kept listening.
Despues te llevarÃe hasta donde quieras
Sin temor y sin fronteras
Hasta donde sale el sol
Contigo soy capaz de lo que sea
No me importa lo que venga
Porque ya sÃe a donde voy
Soy tu gitano, tu peregrino
La única llave de tu destino
El que te cuida más que a su vida
Soy tu ladron!
I felt like my blood was boiling in me. So these parts of the song meant "then I will take you wherever you like, with no fear or borders to where the sun will always rise. With you I am willing to do what ever, I do not care about what is to come and because I will go where ever you are. I am your gypsy, your follower, I am the key of your destiny. The one that takes care of your more than my life. I am your kidnapper"
SHIT! I HATE THOMAS.
I looked at Esmeralda and she was looking at her book and smiling. Okay so as vampire we are like gypsies we travel nonstop. So Thomas is telling my wife that he is willing to do anything for her. That he has been taking care of her life. In fact, he really has! DAMN IT! He fixed our lives when Esmralda went to college and then at the end last verse, he says he is her lover and kidnapper. SHIT! Thomas had kidnapped my wife from me twice. Once in London when I had to turn Sue and then once in our home, when I ended up killing all the slaves.
"I hate him" I said full of anger. Esmeralda raised on eyebrow looked at me and then went back to reading. I kept listening to the song as I translated
Y aunque nos cueste la vida
Y aunque duela lo que duela
Esta guerra la ha ganado nuestro amor
Esta guerra la ha ganado nuestro amor
Then the last part of the song was "and even if it costs us our life, even if it hurts who it may hurt…in this battle the winner is our love" I was so angry!
"Esmeralda, what do you think of this song?" I asked with anger
"I was reading" she said innocently
"Liar, you were listening" I said
"I like the song, it is the type of Spanish songs I listen to" she said and smiled and held my hand
I moved my hand from hers "do you love him?" I asked
"Nathaniel" she said shocked "you know how I feel"
"do I? who do you love" I said
She glared at me "oh my God, what has gotten into you"
"I don't know..he did kidnap you twice like the song said and well..I want to know" I said looking at her
She just looked at me and said "figure it out yourself…what the hell do you think I have been doing for the past forty years" with anger and went back to reading.
Damn it…I know she loves me. Another song started…
REVIEW!