Chapter 16- He can erase my memory…
I love you too, I have always loved you Esmeralda" I said to my Muneca and looked at her face and she kissed me. I held her neck and kissed her back when I heard Thomas laugh. We let go and we saw him open Esmeralda's table that was attached to the back of the seat in front of her. I saw him twist his ring and pull it out, I looked at his finger and the shape of his finger had changed…the place where is ring was for hundreds of years had made the bottom of his finger really thin. He had never taken his wrong off. I know that when ever Esmeralda washed her face or showered she took off my mother's ring and sometimes would forget to wear it…but Thomas must have never taken his wedding band off.
He looked at the inside of his ring and said "Esmeralda's forever" and put the ring on top of the table in front of my Muneca.
Esmeralda looked at me and I raised my eyebrows at her. "no more" we heard Thomas say and I looked at him, he looked down at his Ipod and then closed his eyes again.
"fanstastic" Esmeralda said gave me a quick kiss.
The song started…as the melody started my heart started to ache. "what?" Esmeralda asked.
"oh God" I said and held my heart..it hurts so bad. Oh my GOD.
"you are crying" Esmeralda said and then my eyes blurry with tears I looked at Thomas. His eyes closed, no expression on his face as if he was sleeping. The pain stopped..he was blocking me.
Oh
My
GOD!
His pain, It still hurt even thought he was blocking his feelings from me. "Nathaniel" Esmeralda said in a panic and held my face..
It felt like my heart was buring..it hurt to badly, I was still in pain. "block it" Esmeralda said wiping my tears
"I can't feel it anymore…but but" I said and cried.
I leaned back into my chair and whispered "no more".
The lyrics started.
I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to get upset and cry
'Cause I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
"Nathaniel..look at me, look at my eyes Love" she said with tears in her eyes
"I felt him for less than five seconds and my heart still …it it" I said now sobbing
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got the whole 'in love' thing
And someone can say they love me truly
But at the time it didn't mean a thing
My mind is gone, I'm spinnin' 'round
And deep inside my tears I'll drown
I'm losin' grip, what's happenin'?
I strayed from love, this is how I feel
"look into my eyes..I love you Nathaniel, forget him" she said and kissed my lip
I moved my head "are you insane…how dare you kiss me him here" I said crying
This time was different
Felt like I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now I'm in this condition
And I've got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry
"he can't hear us and besides..look at him, he is fine." Esmeralda said and we both looked at Thomas. He looked like he was asleep….but I just felt his pain
"how does he look like that….I felt his pain, did you not feel it" I asked her as she wiped my tears away
Did it happen when we first kissed?
'Cause it's hurtin' me to let it go
Maybe 'cause we spent so much time
And I know that it's no more
I shoulda never let you hold me baby
Maybe why I'm sad to see us apart
I didn't give to you on purpose
Gotta figure out how you stole my heart
"I was blocking him…is still hurts" she asked and touched my heart
I just looked at Thomas, I was not crying anymore….this is how he felt!
"don't touch me" I said and moved her hand
My mind is gone, I'm spinnin' 'round
And deep inside my tears I'll drown
I'm losin' grip, what's happenin'?
I strayed from love, this is how I feel
This time was different
Felt like I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
"what did I do but love you" she said shaking her head
"that is the point…how could you forget THOMAS!" I yelled the last word
"oh my God…I have to be dreaming.." she and shook her head
"well we both know what you do dream about but this is reality…how, why..talk to him, tell him why you are with me" I said looking at her…she gave him up because Thomas has always wanted children
Esmeralda looked at Thomas and said "Nathaniel..this is insane, these songs are not about me. Come on now..I really want to read my book" she said
"are you kidding me" I said and grabbed her book
Now I'm in this condition
And I've got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry
How did I get here with you? I'll never know
I never meant to let it get so personal
And after all I tried to do, stay away from lovin' you
I'm broken hearted, I can't let you know
And I won't let it show, you won't see me cry
"seriously…what is wrong with you" she said and shifted her body towards me
"you broke my best friends heart" I said
"oh my …you know what… whose fault is that" she said crossing her arms
This time was different
Felt like I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
"he loves you more than I love you" I said
"Nathaniel..what the hell are you doing" she said and touched my cheek
"I don't deserve you, you are his…go with him" I said tears in my eyes.
She slapped me across my face "who the hell do you think I am? Some girl you two can pass on to each other every couple of years" she said glaring at me
"you don't understand…I I…Esmeralda, you don't remember what I have done or else you would have never…Listen to me, he loves you more than anything" I said and touched her face "he loves you so much that he will do anything for you…anything even give you up"
"bullshit! I do not love him, I love you" she said crying now
Now I'm in this condition
And I've got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry
On my life
"that is what you don't know…you love me because he has allowed you to love me, let me tell you that Thomas he" Thomas did not let me finish
"GOD DAMMIT!" he yelled..Thomas never yelled..at least not at me
"Mate..tell her the truth. Please" I said
"the truth..here is the truth. Esmeralda, you are married to Nathaniel and have two children with him." He said
"Thomas….tell her the truth and she will pick" I said
"what the hell are you talking about" Esmeralda said
"let me make it clear to you Mate, I have very important meetings tonight in Dubai and I will not be geeting any sleep…can you two please shut the fuck up." he said looking at Esmeralda and then looked at me "Nathaniel..i am a man of my word. Don't destroy your life for me..even if you say anything..one look and it is back to how things are. But if you do not shut up…if you say one word..I will make it a way that you will have never known a Thomas" he said. He shut his eyes closed
"what the hell?" Esmeralda said…"what is he talking about?" Esmeralda said
SHIT! Now I am scared…he can really erase my memory so that I forget I ever meet him.
"what" Esmeralda said.
I just shook my head and I closed my eyes leaning my head back into my chair.
I heard Esmeralda open her book…and then another song started…