Aimlessly I wandered the crowded streets. I'd spent the majority of the day doing this in an attempt to ease my guilty conscience, but it was no use. Every time I closed my eyes, Shuichi's sad, tormented face would haunt me. It consumed me so completely, I barely slept a wink, and on the few occasions I'd actually managed to drift into slumber, he'd dominated my dreams. Food no longer appealed to me, and even writing, my ultimate distraction, couldn't hold my attention.

My work, now that's a laugh. I hadn't been doing so well with that to begin with, but after reading the garbage that I supposedly had written, it took all of my willpower to keep from throwing my alter ego's laptop across the room in disgust. The words were clearly mine, but the characters were so… running my hand through my hair in frustration, I searched for the right word. It's not that it was necessarily bad; it was as if… a cold chill ran down my spine, I hadn't progressed at all. The half finished novel on my alter ego's laptop was nothing more than a rehashed variation of my first novel. The Yuki in this time-line had become one of those serial romance novelists that I had despised in my youth. A sudden thought occurred to me stopping me dead in my tracks causing a collision with the person walking directly behind me.

"Pardon me," the man fumbled apologetically as he continued down the street.

I nodded in acknowledgment and stared blankly at the sea of people rushing past me. Is it possible that I'd been just as influenced by Shuichi as he had apparently been influenced by me? The two novels I'd written after Shuichi and I had become lovers were by far more popular than all of my previous novels combined. I'd never realized it before, but now, after reading the pathetically lukewarm love scene that my alter ego had obviously been struggling though, I knew without a shadow of a doubt what Shuichi's influence had done for me. It had infused me with a passion I'd never before been able to convey. Like it or not, I couldn't escape the fact that I needed Shuichi just as much as he needed me.

Of course, that's all it is. I smiled at the momentary rush of relief that flowed rapidly through my body. Shuichi is nothing more to me than a muse. As I resumed my aimless meandering, I fought against the uneasy feeling that threatened to overcome my treasured serenity. Deep down I knew that Shuichi meant much more to me than that, but I couldn't, I wouldn't allow those emotions to surface. If I they ever broke through the wall I'd purposely built around my heart, I knew I would be forced to face the demons that had haunted me ever since the day Kitazawa robbed me of my innocence.

Although it was still quite bright, I knew the day was fading fast by the elongated shadows that cut across the bustling streets. My stomach rumbled at me angrily. I had barely eaten anything in the past twenty four hours, and I knew from the twinge of pain just beginning to form at my temples that I'd have a nasty headache if I didn't get something to eat soon. For the first time I consciously took note of my surroundings. A brilliant twinkle of light caught my eye and I found myself once again staring at an all too familiar flashing, multicolored sign. Even though I'd been trying hard not to think about Shuichi, somehow my aimless wandering had led me back to the Paradise Club. Conceding defeat, I sighed and reluctantly drifted back into paradise.

Tiny met me at the door with his usual disapproving scowl. In a near repeat of the following night, I shoved my membership card under his nose. He grudgingly stepped aside allowing me to saunter arrogantly past him. Thankfully, Teijo, the sex toy vendor, was busy with a person who apparently was trying to decide what toy to delight and/or torment his partner with that night. Slipping surreptitiously past him I found a small, inconspicuous table which just happened to overlook Takahashi's usual niche.

Fortunately, Takahashi and Shuichi hadn't arrived yet. I ordered a Budweiser and bukkake udon. With fascinated curiosity, I studied the wide variety of men who had also taken refuge in paradise. It was almost as if I'd never left the club. Virtually the same crowd was back again tonight.

In a darkened, partially secluded corner a couple was already kissing passionately. Several older men, still dressed in their business attire, were mingling with attractive youths that I assumed were hosts. There was a group of college kids chatting animatedly at a table near mine. The boldest of the bunch was flirting with one of the many gorgeous waiters. It was blatantly obvious that every one of Paradise's waiters had been selected not only for their looks, but also for their grace. They were nearly as alluring as the hosts circulating throughout the room.

"This isn't much of a dinner," a sexy, unfamiliar voice cooed as my mug of beer and bowl of noodles were set before me.

I looked into the most beautiful chocolate brown eyes I'd ever seen. "I don't have much of an appetite tonight."

"Really? Who's the guy?" His smile brightened transforming him from stunning to exquisite.

"There isn't any guy. I'm just not that hungry," I lied taking a large swig of my beer.

"Then tonight is my lucky night," he softly replied as he settled into the chair next to me and reclined into a seductive pose.

Digging into my noodles, I tried not to stare at my unwanted dinner companion, but he was exactly my type. His soft, ebony hair fell haphazardly into his face contrasting nicely with his porcelain skin. Although he was far too beautiful to be a man, he had a definite masculine quality that under different circumstances would have been too tempting for me to ignore. Slurping down the last of my noodles, I made the mistake of looking into his eyes. They clearly were inviting me to devour him next.

Grabbing my napkin, I avoided his gaze as I wiped off my mouth and took a large gulp of my beer. "I'm really not in the best of moods tonight…"

"Saito," he offered smiling warmly.

"Saito," I responded pointedly refusing to reciprocate the familiarity. "Why don't you go back to whoever you came here with…"

"I'll be damned, Chiba-chan was right, you are a newbie!" Laughing heartily Saito glanced back at the bar tender, who had obviously been watching us the entire time. "I'm not a patron. I'm a host!"

"Perhaps you should…" a sudden commotion distracted me, "find someone else to…" I completely lost my train of thought as Shuichi and Takahashi entered the room. Once again Takahashi's arm was wrapped possessively around Shuichi's waist. Tucked in his lover's embrace, Shuichi had that same sappy, blissful expression he always had whenever he was on a date with me. Damn it Shuichi! Don't look at someone else like that!

"Shu-chan," the bold college kid exclaimed excitedly grabbing him by the wrist. "Come join the party!"

Reluctantly, Shuichi followed looking longingly back at Takahashi. As soon as the spot had been vacated, a beautiful, blond youth slid next to Takahashi and into his embrace. Clearly crestfallen, Shuichi took a seat with the rowdy college kids and tried his best to look like he was enjoying himself.

"You're another fan of Shu-chan," Saito sighed in defeat.

I felt the heat rising to my cheeks. Goddamn it! "What makes you think I want anything to do with him?"

He smiled sadly at me. "Your eyes were glued to him from the moment he stepped into the room. Not that I really can blame you," he said looking wistfully at Shuichi. "Everyone loves Shu-chan." Saito chuckled softly as his eyes once again met mine. "Even though he knocked me into second place, I still can't find it in myself to dislike the guy."

"You mean you used to be…"

"Yeah, I used to be the number one host, but that all changed the day that cute, little, drunken bishie mistakenly stumbled through the door." Pain radiated from his beautiful eyes as he toyed absentmindedly with my napkin.

"Tell me about it," I encouraged. Clearly there was something more to this story – something he didn't want to divulge.

As he looked into my eyes, I could almost see the inward debate that was undoubtedly taking place behind that attractive façade. He sighed in resignation and continued. "Most of the drunkards that end up in here are straight guys who've been set up by their buddies, and it usually ends up badly. However, that obviously wasn't the case with Shuichi. He kept crying about some guy who apparently had gone off to college and left him all alone." A bitter-sweet smile danced across Saito's face. "Shuichi was so adorable, and so very vulnerable that everyone, even the guy who'd been propositioning me the entire night, was enticed by him. I remember being very worried about him. He was quite literally a sheep who'd just stumbled into a den of wolves. I wanted to hurry up and get him out of here before someone did something to hurt him, but Takahashi got to him first." He avoided my gaze guiltily. "I knew he would lure Shuichi into one of his twisted games."

He froze suddenly, and all the color drained instantly from his face. I followed his gaze to a set of twins, who'd just entered the room. "And there was nothing I could do to stop him," Saito concluded weakly. Biting his lip in vain to stave off the tears that threatened to spill over his cheeks, he lowered his voice in shame. "After all, it's exactly what Takahashi had done to me."

"What did he do," I asked glancing toward Shuichi, my stomach already twisting into knots. He'd also noticed the twins. Although he was doing his best to hide it, I could tell that he was terrified as he watched them maneuver easily through the crowd and over to Takahashi's table.

Saito shifted uncomfortably in his chair pulling my attention back toward our conversation. He paused to gauge my sincerity. Clearly satisfied by my genuine interest, he continued. "Takahashi seduced me. He made me believe that I was the most important person in his life." A tear streamed down his face tumbling over his bitter smile. "But I never meant anything to him," he confessed laughing humorlessly. "The blond guy that came in with Takahashi and Shuichi is Akira. He's Takahashi's real lover."

"You mean that bastard…"

"Yeah, he's been using Shuichi the same way he used me," Saito replied suddenly. He crumbled up my napkin in disgust. It was as if he wanted to crumble his own pain and guilt along with it. "Takahashi loves to beguile innocent young men, make them fall desperately in love with him, and then when it looks as though they will live happily ever after, he will abandon them in the cruelest way imaginable. I tried to warn Shuichi," he asserted tossing the napkin aside, "that Takahashi and Akira are lovers, that Takahashi was playing a cruel game with his heart, but he wouldn't listen – just like I refused to listen to Chiba when he tried to warn me. Damn it!" Saito angrily wiped away the tears that had moistened his cheeks. "Even though Takahashi used me and heartlessly tossed me aside, I've never been able to leave. I'd always thought, 'as long as I can be near him, it will be enough.' But now, I just can't take it anymore. I don't want to see him destroy another heart – especially not one as pure a Shuichi's."

Saito paused as the twins approached Shuichi. "Time to play, Shu-chan," one of them said maliciously. Shuichi looked back at Takahashi imploringly, but his silent plea went unheeded. In utter misery, he allowed the twins to guide him out of the room.

Saito grasped at my wrist and looked into my eyes hopefully. "It's not too late for Shu-chan. You're his lover aren't you? You could break the hold Takahashi has on him and get him out of here before it's too late."

"Wait just a damn minute," I threatened through my clenched teeth. "What in the hell makes you think that I'm Shuichi's lover?"

"It's so obvious it's not even funny," Saito exclaimed laughing nervously. Leaning closer he added, "even though you've been trying to ignore him, you haven't been able to keep your eyes off him."

My temperature rose once again. "That's it," I hissed into his sincere face. "I'm…"

Another cold beer was placed in front of me. "What the hell… I didn't order this!"

"Compliments of Takahashi-sama," the waiter replied gesturing toward his employer.

While my attention shifted to Takahashi, I heard Saito swear under his breath and make a hasty retreat. Takahashi lifted his glass in salute and motioned for me to join him. The hair rose on the back of my neck in warning as I warily made my way to his table. I had the distinct impression that I was a fly being lured into a spider's web.

"Welcome to the Paradise Club," he said offering me his hand. Although it was meant to be inviting, Takahashi's greeting struck me as cold as the icy hand that gripped mine a bit firmer than necessary. I matched his grip and then some as we shook hands. His smiled widened at my unvoiced challenge. "I'm Takahashi Akihito, the owner of this club. If I'm not mistaken, you are a new member?"

"That's right," I replied as nonchalantly as possible. "My name is Yuki Eiri, and this is my second evening in this establishment."

"How wonderful," he responded with a voice that was as inviting as a poisonous viper. He slid back into the booth and gestured for me to join him. As I reluctantly sat down, he opened and booted up his laptop. "You seem to have taken an interest in our adorable little Shu-chan," he added knowingly.

Damn it! Why in the hell have I allowed myself to be so fucking obvious? "I was under the impression that he's a host." I countered struggling to control my anger and surprise. "If I'm mistaken…"

"Oh no, you're not mistaken," he interrupted. "I just wanted to make sure you were fully aware of his… profession."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a window pop up on Takahashi's laptop. "Come on Shu-chan; try to act more like you want it."

My attention snapped instantly from Takahashi to the laptop. Apparently the room in which Shuichi and the twins had disappeared was under surveillance. I watched with suppressed horror as they stripped Shuichi's clothes from his listless body.

"On your knees, bitch," ordered one as he shoved Shuichi roughly onto the bed.

"You'd better use this, Taro," the other one said as he tossed some lube to his brother. "You know we're not allowed to hurt the little 'princess!"

As Shuichi unenthusiastically rose into position, Taro coated his fingers liberally with the lube. Without warning, he shoved the slickened fingers into his unwilling victim. As Shuichi cried out in pain, the other twin grabbed a handful of hair and shoved his erect member into Shuichi's mouth.

"Damn Tanjiro," Taro chided as he coated his member with his lubed fingers. "You couldn't wait just a couple of minutes more?" Shuichi's eyes widened as Taro suddenly thrust into him. His muffled scream was cut short as Tanjiro began to thrust into his mouth.

"Hell no," Tanjiro murmured lustfully. "I couldn't wait to feel this hot mouth. Come on bitch," he castigated Shuichi. "Use more of your tongue and suck my cock harder."

Tears spilled freely from Shuichi's eyes as he endured the twin's double assault. My heart began to race as I watched those bastards use him as a vessel for their lust. Then, without warning it happened. The memories I had buried deep within my psyche burst forcefully into my consciousness. I could feel the fingers digging into my hips as an enormous cock slammed into me. Suppressing a gag, I remembered how awful the head of a cock felt brushing the back of my throat. But the pain and humiliation was nothing compared to the fact that the first person I had ever loved was the cause of it all. I could still see him there watching with pleasure while his acquaintances brutally raped me.

I chanced a glance at Takahashi. The fucking prick was watching Shuichi with the same expression that Kitazawa had. At least Shuichi could be spared the pain of knowing that the one he loved enjoyed watching his agony and disgrace. Biting back my rage, my attention reverted unenthusiastically back to Takahashi's laptop and Shuichi's torture.

"Ah fuck, I'm already going to come," Tanjiro rasped as his seed gushed into Shuichi's mouth. Released at last by one tormentor, Shuichi fell, gagging and coughing, face first into the mattress. The change in position allowed Taro to thrust into him more deeply. That and Shuichi's coughing fit was enough to push him over the edge.

"It feels so fucking good," Taro cried out thrusting one last time before pulling out and allowing Shuichi to fully collapse.

Without a second glance to their victim, the brothers cleaned themselves off, rearranged their clothes, and left the room. As soon as he heard the door close behind his tormentors, Shuichi slowly pulled himself up. With a pleading, tearful expression he looked directly into my eyes. A cold chill ran down my spine.

"You bastard," I hissed at Takahashi through my clenched teeth.

"Kano-kun," Takahashi called out to a passing waiter blatantly ignoring my insult. "Would you tell Saito to go to the executive suite and take care of Shuichi?"

"Yes Takahashi-sama," he replied eying me warily as he bowed and hurried quickly away.

"He knew you were watching," I growled angrily fighting back the gall that was rising into my throat.

"It's an unfortunate necessity with the Kimura brothers," Takahashi explained casually. Although he'd assumed an aloof, businesslike air, I could tell that he was feeding eagerly off the rage that was radiating palpably from me. "The first time they… hired Shuichi's services they played a little too roughly with him."

"Yeah, I remember that night," Akira added smiling maliciously at me. "He'd been injured so badly, the doctor wanted to send him to the hospital."

"But Shuichi, the little trooper, refused to go," Takahashi continued mirroring his lover's malicious smile. "After all, the negative publicity would have hurt the business, which in turn would have been bad for me."

A cold weight settled at the bottom of my stomach. Shuichi had once endured something similar to this to protect me. "What's the fucking point to all of this," I demanded as I rose heatedly out of the booth.

Takahashi's demeanor turned suddenly to stone. "The point I am making is this," he answered rising deliberately as well. "Shuichi belongs to me. His heart, soul, and…" he smiled vaingloriously, "his body, are all mine."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that if I was you," I challenged smiling confidently.

For a split second his smile faltered allowing me a brief moment of triumph. "Kuma-kun, would you show our guest to the door?" I stiffened defensively as I felt his massive form looming behind me.

"Yes Takahashi-sama," he answered as an enormous paw-like hand gripped the back of my neck.

"There's no need to get physical Tiny," I said shrugging roughly out of his grip. "I was just about to leave, but…" I looked determinedly into Takahashi's eyes, "I'll be back."

"Of course," he crooned confidently. "Come back anytime."

Audaciously, I strode through the crowd keenly aware that everyone's eyes were upon Tiny and me. As I walked through the door and into the cool evening breeze, I steadied myself for whatever he had in store for me.

Stepping next to me, Tiny cleared his throat. When I looked up into his face, I was shocked to see him looking at me awkwardly.

"You don't like the way Takahashi hurts Shu-chan," he asked with concerned sincerity.

"No I don't," I replied too shocked by the unexpected turn of events to counter with a clever comeback.

"Maybe you're not so bad after all," he admitted before returning quietly back into paradise.

I'll be damned! It was blatantly obvious that Tiny also was very fond of Shuichi. 'Everyone loves Shu-chan'… Saito's words echoed through my mind. As I began to walk slowly back toward my apartment, I tried to banish the sight of Shuichi's sad, tormented face as he looked pleadingly into the camera – not at me, but at the man who was supposed to be his lover. His eyes tormented me much more than they had the night before, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I had to do something about it, if I wanted to maintain what was left of my sanity. Sighing in resignation, I shoved my hands in my pockets and headed toward Tsuneo's apartment.

An inviting light awaited me, and as soon as I tentatively knocked the door opened revealing Tsuneo's annoying face.

"Well isn't this a pleasant surprise," he gushed with a knowing grin. It was as though he'd actually been expecting me.

"Just shut the hell up and let me in." What in the hell had ever possessed me to come here?

His smile widened as he stepped aside. "Have you been enjoying your wish?"

"No I haven't been 'enjoying my wish," I spat mockingly back.

"Ah, so you've finally accepted the truth…"

"Yeah, smart ass, I'll admit it," I interrupted heatedly. "I fucked everything up with that stupid wish. Now, if you've finished screwing around with me, why don't you just tell me what I have to do to fix it?"

"Sorry, mon ami, I can't do that," he answered with false sincerity.

His thinly veiled attempt to hide his amusement set what was left of my frayed nerves on edge. "What in the fuck do you mean," I growled through my clenched teeth. "It was your stupid, little 'mystic' stone that got Shuichi and me into this mess. You damn well better have an idea how to get us out of it!"

"Alright, calm down," Tsuneo responded making a poor attempt at hiding his amusement. "Do you have the stone with you?"

"I think so." I made a show of looking through my pockets. I didn't want the smug bastard to know I'd been purposely carrying that thing around with me. "Ah, here it is." Pulling it casually out of my pants pocket, I handed it to him.

Tsuneo's breath caught in his throat as soon as he looked at the stone. "This is bad, mon ami," he murmured gravely.

I looked at the stone as if I could actually figure out what he meant. This time it was a muddy dark brown color. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"It's like this," he started slowly as if he were searching for the right words to clarify his explanation. "Shuichi's wish was never fulfilled, and," Tsuneo looked pointedly into my eyes, "your hasty little wish obviously isn't what your heart desired. That must be why the two of you are stuck in this… alternate reality."

"Okay," I began slowly trying hard not to lose my cool. "So what can I do to fix this?"

Tsuneo sighed heavily. His uncharacteristically serious demeanor made my stomach twist into knots. "This is the first time anything like this has ever happened to me," he admitted regretfully. "I… don't know how to fix it."

"Damn it, Tsuneo! Quit screwing with me," I yelled in frustration. "Don't give me that 'I don't know how to fix it' bullshit! You have to at least have an idea."

"I do have a theory," he replied as a mischievous smile once again graced his countenance.

The knots in my stomach twisted a little tighter as I inwardly groaned. "What is it?"

"Alright here's the thing…" he began evasively placing some distance between us. "I can't tell you."

"You can't tell me," I exclaimed closing the distance between us. "What in the FUCK do you mean? Why in the FUCK can't you tell me?"

"I'm sorry mon ami. This is something you're going to have to figure out for yourself."

Although I desperately wanted to pummel Tsuneo, his genuine regret washed over me quenching the heat of my rage. "And just how in the hell am I supposed to do that," I lashed out retreating away from him in defeat.

"You could start by being honest with yourself," he suggested.

"What in the hell is that supposed to mean," I questioned with obvious irritation.

"Why do you want me to fix this so badly," he demanded.

"Have you not listened to a thing I've said to you," I retorted in vexation. "I want my old life back!"

"Including Shuichi," he asked facetiously as a large smug smile spread across his angelic face.

"Well, he's part of the package," I admitted silently cursing the blush I felt creeping into my cheeks.

"Are you sure there's nothing more to it than that," he asked knowingly.

"Of course there's nothing more to it than that," I asserted vehemently. "What the hell else could there be?"

"Love is not your motivation to undo the hasty wish you made," Tsuneo pressed.

"Where in the hell did you get such a ridiculous notion," I yelled defensively as my face heated in proportion with my embarrassment.

"Oh, well that's a load off my mind," he sighed with obvious relief.

"What do you mean by that," I insisted suspiciously.

"I… slept with Shuichi," Tsuneo confessed cautiously. "I was curious… you know, to find out why everyone was so enthralled by him."

The knots in my stomach transformed instantly into a fiery ball of rage. "Quit screwing with me," I warned between my clenched teeth.

"I assure you, mon ami, I'm in earnest. Besides what does it matter to you? You're not in love with him… are you," he asked innocently.

"No… I'm not in love with him," I lied unconvincingly.

"Well then, no harm done," he continued with increased confidence. "I guess I can understand his appeal. After all, his tearful, pleading face is such a turn on… and that tight little hole of his… I'll be damned if he wasn't the best fuck I've ever had."

"YOU BASTARD," I screamed as I grabbed a fistful of his shirt and threw him across the room.

He was laughing, as he slammed against the wall, the bastard was actually laughing at me. "Oh no…" Tsuneo gasped as he continued laughing hysterically, "You're not in love with Shuichi at all."

His grating voice oozing with sarcasm pushed me over the edge. I attacked him with a fierceness I hadn't felt since I pummeled Aizawa and his thugs. He dodged the punch a split second before my fist obliterated the wall a mere millimeter from his face. The pain shooting down my arm and the terror in his eyes brought me back to my senses.

"Stay the hell away from Shuichi," I growled threateningly. For good measure, I punched a second hole in his wall before storming out into the night.