I could hear Shuichi crying out in pain, but I had no idea where to find him. Running through what seemed to be an endless labyrinth of doors and hallways, I searched for him desperately.
"Damn you Takahashi! If I ever get my hands on you…"
Suddenly Shuichi's cries were silenced. Frantically I continued to search through every room, but there were so many of them. Everything, the walls, ceiling, floors and doors, was painted white. I was hopelessly lost, and I realized that even if I managed to find Shuichi, I'd never be able to get us out of here. Just as I was beginning to give up hope, I stumbled into an intersection.
"Shit! Which way should I go?"
While I was trying to make my decision, I heard Shuichi moaning faintly in a room nearby. Bursting through the door, my eyes immediately fell upon his petite body curled up and shivering on the bed. I raced across the room and gingerly gathered him into my arms.
"Damn it Shuichi," I whispered into his disheveled hair. "I never meant for any of this to happen to you."
"Who are you," he asked suddenly pulling away. "Don't touch me! Leave me alone…"
I awoke with a start drenched in sweat and gasping for breath. As soon as my heartbeat returned to normal, pain and emptiness once again enveloped me. I crawled out of bed, lit a cigarette and drifted wearily into the kitchen. I didn't have to worry about tripping over Shuichi's crap that normally would have littered the apartment. How many times had I complained about his slovenliness, but now, as I walked through my immaculate home, it just didn't feel right. I miss the all the noise, clutter, and chaos. I miss Shuichi.
No, there's more to it than that. I pondered as I filled the tea kettle with water. Memories of my latest dream invaded my thoughts. I want… no I need to protect Shuichi. It's my fault… his suffering is all my fault, and I don't know what to do to make it better. Damn it!
I placed the kettle full of water on the stove and lit the burner. There was something about that dream that made my stomach twist into knots – something lingering just beyond my grasp. If I could just get a hold of it, I knew everything would fall into place. Maybe I'd even be able to figure out how to get us out of this mess.
The tea kettle whistled pulling me gratefully away from my unsettled thoughts. I plopped a tea bag into my mug, poured the hot water over it, and carried it into the study. Perhaps an afternoon of rewriting my alter ego's pathetic novel will make me feel better, I mused as I sat down at the desk. Deep down I knew it was a wasted gesture, but I held onto that conviction as tightly as an alcoholic holding onto his last drink.
After spending the entire day and most of the evening fitfully wrestling against my conscience, I reluctantly returned to the Paradise Club. As I stood on the sidewalk staring at the multicolored neon lights, I longed for some kind of revelation. "What am I supposed to do," I whispered to the gods, my ancestors, fate, whoever or whatever it was that supposedly directed my path. I waited several seconds. It's not that I was really expecting an answer, but hell, I was getting desperate.
"You'll never get Shuichi back that way," exclaimed an annoyingly familiar voice.
"What the hell are you doing here," I demanded as I descended upon the dark, secluded entryway in which Tsuneo was partially hidden.
"Temper, temper mon ami," he chided throwing his hands up in self defense. "About what I said last night… I never slept with Shuichi. I just said it to make you jealous… to force you to finally admit to yourself that you really are in love with him."
Fucking bastard! There's no way in hell I was ever going to admit that the son-of-a-bitch was probably right.
"I don't need any of your help," I retorted angrily.
"That's not the way it looks from here." Tsuneo's mocking laughter drew several unwanted stares in our direction. "I have something here that just might interest you, but if you would prefer to wait for your divine guidance…"
Swallowing my pride, I grabbed his arm and yanked him further into the privacy of his shadowed entryway. "This had better be good," I hissed menacingly into his ear.
"Here," he pressed a rectangular piece of expensive stationary into my hand.
"What the hell is this?" I maneuvered back into the dim light cast from the street and struggled to read its contents.
"It's an invitation to Takahashi's private party tonight," Tsuneo explained. "The scuttlebutt around the club is this party was set up to 'teach Shuichi a lesson.' Apparently he hasn't been performing his duties to Takahashi's standards."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Knots began to form at the pit of my stomach. "Shuichi is his most popular host! He's even got a fucking waiting list for crying out loud!"
"It seems that Shuichi's virginal school boy routine…"
"That's not a god damned routine," I cut him off heatedly. "I've witnessed firsthand what that bastard has done! He's been allowing his patrons to more or less rape Shuichi!"
"Are you sure about that," he asked with that now familiar all knowing expression on his beautiful face. "It's not like he's being dragged off by the people who've… paid for his services."
"You don't know Shuichi," I replied quietly. The knots in my stomach wound tighter. "He's the type of person who would do anything for the person he loves."
"Is that so," Tsuneo asked smiling broadly. "Then I guess that means that the person, who's fortunate enough to win Shuichi's heart, should cherish him more than the grandest treasure."
I tried not to wince at Tsuneo's obvious condemnation. Although I wasn't nearly as bad a lover as Takahashi, I too was guilty of taking Shuichi's love for granted.
"Now, where was I…" he mumbled out loud. "Oh yeah… the way I understand it, several patrons have started to complain about Shuichi's virginal…" he shot me a quick glance. "Er… lack of experience, so Takahashi has arranged this little get together to… teach him the art of seduction."
"What's that supposed to mean," I asked fighting my quickly rising anxiety.
"I don't know. That's all the information I could get from my source." Tsuneo glanced at his watch. "You better get in there," he admonished gesturing in the direction of the club. "Takahashi's 'party' is about to begin."
Clutching Takahashi's invitation, I strode to the club's entrance with what I hoped was a calm, unperturbed expression. I've got to hold it together, I silently admonished myself. I won't do Shuichi any good if I get myself banned from this place by losing my temper.
"Good evening Yuki-san," Kuma greeted me warmly.
"Evening Tiny," I answered hesitantly. It seemed as though our last conversation, if indeed the few words we exchanged could be considered a conversation, had somehow managed to forge a bond between the two of us – at least as far as Tiny was concerned.
"Apparently, I have an invitation for a private party," I mentioned casually as I handed it to him.
"Please, follow me," he replied anxiously.
He led me through the bustling main room and headed toward the same ominous door in which Shuichi had disappeared with his "guests" for the past two nights. It entered into a long corridor lined with at least a half a dozen doors.
As soon as we entered the nearly deserted hallway, Kuma stopped me suddenly. "This is gonna be a bad night," he whispered surreptitiously.
"Why," I asked as nonchalantly as possible. "What's going to happen?"
"I don't know, but Shu-chan looks really scared." His expression darkened. "Kuma doesn't want anything bad to happen to him. You'll look after him, won't you?"
"I'll do my best," I answered fighting mightily to keep from smiling at his obvious anguish. Regardless of my own anxiety, I couldn't help but be amused. He looked exactly like an enormous teddy bear.
"Thank you," he replied gratefully as we continued down the hall. He led me to the last door on the left hand side of the hallway. "This is Takahashi's private room. Good luck Yuki-san." With his massive hand, he clapped me on the back hard enough to nearly knock me off balance.
I gave him what I hoped was a self confident nod in acknowledgment. Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I strode purposely through the door. Takahashi's private room was also decked out in the same tropical beach motif as the club's main room, except the three walls facing me were painted to give one the impression of standing on a patio deck overlooking the same exotic lagoon that was featured in the main room. The scene on the wall behind me depicted a grand beach house. If they hadn't been painted so well, the effect would have been quite tacky. Obviously, whoever Takahashi's decorator was, he knew what he was doing. To my right, there was a small bar stocked with expensive wine and liquor. At the rear of the room there was a large semicircular booth upon which several people, including Takahashi and Akira, were sitting.
Standing in the middle of the room wearing a beautiful lilac flowered kimono was a clearly miserable Shuichi. At least six men were milling around him looking very much like a group of sharks circling their prey. Saito, along with several other hosts, were also in attendance. Although they were all dressed to kill in exquisitely tailored black tuxedos, no one was paying them any mind. Every eye in the room was riveted toward Shuichi.
"At last our final guest has arrived," Takahashi announced as he sauntered lazily over to his shivering lover.
"Takahashi," Shuichi begged, "I changed my mind. I… don't think I can go through with this"
"There, there Shu-chan," Takahashi cooed with mock sympathy. "I only invited the men I knew would take good care of you." At that he maliciously smiled in my direction.
"Please," Shuichi wailed as he clutched desperately at his lover's shirt. "Don't put me through this! If I mean anything to you at all…"
"We can't disappoint our guests now, can we?" Takahashi interrupted coldly pushing Shuichi away. "You've already agreed to this. It's too late to back out now." Slowly he untied Shuichi's obi and pushed the kimono over his slender shoulders. The silky garment fell silently to the floor revealing Shuichi's seductively pale, slender completely naked body. Several men whistled in appreciation as Shuichi modestly covered his manhood with his hands.
"Shuichi," Takahashi chided removing his hands and placing them stiffly at his sides. "You know that's against the rules."
Tears flowed freely over Shuichi's crimson cheeks as Takahashi slowly led him through the room allowing each guest to caress and fondle his prize possession.
I grit my teeth and struggled to suppress my rage as I helplessly watched each one of them treat Shuichi like a common whore. Finally Takahashi escorted the miserable little plaything over to me. As I looked into his mortified, tear filled eyes, I fought against an overwhelming urge to hold and comfort him. The dream that had awoken me so abruptly this morning flashed into my mind and in that moment, everything suddenly became clear.
Although I had always been attracted to Shuichi, there was something about his forceful personality that always kept me from fully giving in to the love I felt blossoming in my heart. Now, as I looked into this Shuichi's meek, vulnerable eyes, there was no bulwark to keep my love contained.
"What's the fucking point to all of this," I demanded testily.
"Shu-chan here is a hopeless romantic," Takahashi said as he lightly brushed the tears off Shuichi's still reddened cheeks. "He doesn't believe that sex without love can be pleasurable. You, and a couple of other lucky guests, will get the chance to show Shuichi just how wrong his naïve conception of sex is."
"So, you want me to seduce and make love to your lover," I asked fighting to keep a nonchalant tone to my voice. I looked once again into Shuichi's dejected eyes. Part of me wanted to get him the hell out of here. Another part of me wanted to rip Takahashi's worthless head off, and though I really hated to admit it, part of me wanted to do exactly what Takahashi was proposing.
"Only if you think you are able," he challenged knowingly as if he'd just made a sure bet and was expecting an exorbitant payoff.
I looked Takahashi dead in the eye. He was blatantly baiting me and it was an offer I couldn't refuse. "What if your twisted little plan backfires and your boyfriend decides he wants to be loved by a real man?"
In sublime pleasure, I watched Takahashi struggle to keep his anger in check. To his credit, it only took him a couple of seconds to regain control. He caressed Shuichi's chest pausing briefly to pinch one of his tiny, pink nipples. When anyone else had done such a thing, he'd endured their conduct with silent humiliation, but this time Shuichi shivered visibly and looked at his lover with such a needy expression it made my blood boil.
"Takahashi," Shuichi whispered plaintively.
"I don't think I have anything to worry about," Takahashi replied arrogantly. With deliberate ease, he backed away from his reluctant lover. "By the way," he added casually. "You're not allowed to kiss his lips."
Smiling boldly I pulled my unwilling partner into a warm embrace. "Of course not, that would make it all too easy!"
I gently swept Shuichi's luxurious hair back and left a trail of soft kisses down his neck. He stiffened at my touch and cringed from my lips. Anger and a profound sense of betrayal tore through my soul until I looked into his wretched, fearful eyes and remembered all of the pain he'd been forced to endure at the behest of his so-called lover. I knew at that moment that I would have to prove to him that I was different than all the others. Regardless of how much it terrified me, I would somehow have to convey with my body the love I now felt coursing through my heart.
Cupping his face with my hands, I gently stroked his cheeks with my thumbs. Sensing the change in my demeanor, Shuichi slowly began to relax.
"What are you doing?" He whispered in confusion.
"I'm doing what your 'lover' asked me to do," I answered softly. My heart was beating so rapidly, I could barely tolerate the exquisite pain. Slowly, I let my hands glide down his neck, but when they slid down to his chest, Shuichi stiffened again. Sighing impatiently, I slid my hands back up to his shoulders and massaged them until he relaxed again, but as soon as I pulled him into another gentle embrace, I felt his body tense up again.
"It's alright Shuichi," I whispered quietly into his ear. "I promise I won't hurt you."
Tenderly, I kissed his neck again. Although he didn't cringe away from my lips this time, I sensed that he was still fighting the urge to do so. Goddamn you Takahashi, I inwardly cursed. Goddamn you and your twisted little game! I wanted very much to embrace Shuichi, but not like this. Truthfully, I was afraid – afraid to let my emotions show – afraid of being rejected, and most of all, I was afraid of losing to that sick, egotistical bastard.
It's time to step it up a notch, I decided resolutely. Once again, I left butterfly kisses down Shuichi's neck in search of that one spot that used to drive his alter ego crazy. When I felt Shuichi's slight shudder, I knew things would work out in my favor. With the possible exception of Takahashi, no one else here knows Shuichi's erogenous points, and I seriously doubt that Takahashi knows how to exploit them as effectively as I can. With that thought in mind, I kissed that spot harder, sucking gently at his skin – not hard enough to leave a mark, but just enough to get his attention. Shuichi's sharp intake of breath was all the encouragement I needed.
My hands tenderly caressed his back as I embraced his petite body tighter. Slowly I worked my way back up his neck kissing every inch of his soft skin – savoring him as if he was a fine wine. As I gently nibbled his jaw, I felt his arms tentatively wrap around my waist.
"Shuichi," I whispered softly before gliding my tongue slowly along the edge of his delicate ear lobe. All of this felt so surreal. It was as if I was acting out a love scene from one of my books. I never dreamt that I would behave so romantically with anyone, let alone this obnoxious little brat. But then again, this wasn't exactly the same person who'd forced himself into my life, and in reality, I never would have allowed Shuichi to get close to me, if I hadn't wanted him there to begin with. As I held his shivering body close, I knew that this alone would never satisfy me. One way or another, I had to find a way to win back Shuichi's heart.
I made the mistake of looking into his eyes. His brow was furrowed making his tear filled eyes look so frightened and conflicted, I couldn't possibly continue. I had never forced another person to make love to me, and I damn sure wasn't about to be goaded into doing it now. Tenderly, I pressed his petite body closer to mine and nuzzled my left cheek against his right so that Takahashi wouldn't be able to see his face.
"Do you want me to stop?" I whispered in his ear.
"W..what did you say," Shuichi mumbled in disbelief.
"I promised I wouldn't hurt you, remember?" I paused for a moment. Just holding Shuichi in my arms like this was enough to drive me crazy, but I was prepared to do whatever it took to win his heart. "Do you want me to stop?"
"Yes… no… I… I don't know," Shuichi muttered weakly.
Pulling back slightly I looked once again into his beautiful eyes. It nearly took my breath away. Never – not even with Kitazawa – had I ever experienced this much bliss and agony at one time.
Shuichi licked his lips nervously. That one seemingly innocent gesture set my soul on fire. Although I knew it was against the rules, I had a sudden, uncontrollable craving to taste those sweet lips. Tenderly cupping the back of his head, I impulsively pulled him toward me.
Sensing my intention, Shuichi stiffened up again. "You can't kiss me," he whispered feebly in protest.
"I know," I answered softly brushing my nose against his coming close enough to feel the heat radiating from his succulent lips. Pressing my forehead against his, I caressed his cheek before reluctantly, pulling away.
"Wait!" Shuichi demurely caressed my cheeks with his trembling hands before slipping them back into my hair.
Hesitantly with the most adorable, timid expression on his angelic face, Shuichi slowly began to embrace me. I thought at first I was dreaming, but when I felt his body press against mine, I could barely contain the surge of excitement that coursed through my body.
"That's enough," Takahashi bellowed yanking Shuichi roughly from my arms.
"What's the problem," I snapped angrily back at him. "This fucked up little game was your idea, not mine!" Takahashi was blatantly ignoring me. His shocked face quickly morphed into rage when he saw the erection that Shuichi was unsuccessfully trying to hide. A large, self-satisfied grin spread across my face. "It looks like I performed much better at this than you anticipated?" My grin became a full-fledged smile as I watched Takahashi's face go from crimson to purple.
"Cover yourself up," Takahashi commanded throwing the kimono at Shuichi. By the time he'd fastened the obi, Takahashi was once again in control. He grabbed Shuichi forcefully and planted a long lascivious kiss on his all too willing lips.
Throughout Takahashi's excessive display of affection, I struggled to keep my composure, but I knew by the heat rising in my cheeks that it was a losing battle. By the time my rival released his nearly swooning lover and smiled triumphantly at me, I was certain my face was the same shade of purple that Takahashi's had been moments before.
"You might as well give up now," Takahashi exclaimed tauntingly. "Shuichi would never choose a nobody like you over someone like me!" Wrapping his arm possessively around Shuichi's waist, he turned and headed toward the door. "Let's go home Shu-chan." Glancing back with a malicious smile on his face he added, "Where you can make love with a real man all night long."
"Wait just a minute Takahashi-san," yelled an irate guest. "I was supposed to play with Shu-chan next!"
"Yeah, that's right," another guest chimed in. "What about the rest of us?"
"Saito, recruit as many hosts as you need and take care of our guests," Takahashi replied dismissively over his shoulder as he and Shuichi walked out the door.
As soon as the door had closed behind them, all hell broke loose. Saito motioned for me to wait for him as he and the other hosts rushed about the room promising anything and everything to calm Takahashi's abandoned guests down.
Still stinging from my recent defeat, I fought against the urge to get the hell out of there. However, I sensed that Saito had something important to tell me, so I impatiently waited for him trying all the while not to look as miserable as I felt.
Wandering over to the bar, I poured myself a good stiff, double shot of whiskey. I would rather have had a case of Budweiser, but unfortunately it appeared that neither Takahashi nor his guests liked to drink beer. As I downed the contents of my glass and poured myself another, I watched Saito intently. After making a quick survey of the room, he walked over to the telephone next to the bar. Lifting the receiver, he quickly punched in the number.
"Hello Teijo-san, would you please send three… no four more hosts to Takahashi's private room? Oh, and make sure Aki-chan is one of them… Yes, it was quite unexpected…" Saito glanced over at me and quickly added, "I have one more favor to ask… please send the keys to room 420 with Aki-chan… Yes, thank you Teijo-san."
As soon as Aki-chan and the other hosts arrived, Saito retrieved the key and motioned me to follow him. I grabbed my glass and the bottle of whiskey and gladly left the worst party I'd ever had the misfortune to attend. We walked in silence to the elevator at the other end of the hall. As we rode the up to the fourth floor, I almost asked him what the hell he wanted, but decided to pour myself another drink instead. The awkward silence lingered with us persistently until we entered room 420.
As soon as Saito shut the door, I immediately launched into my attack. "What the hell was that so-called party all about?"
"Takahashi was going to dump Shuichi tonight." He looked at me with fearful eyes. "But you completely screwed up everything he had planned.
"What exactly was he going to do," I asked suspiciously.
"I… was forced to endure something similar to this when Takahashi decided to dump me," Saito admitted. Although he laughed humorlessly in an attempt to shrug off the painful memories, I could clearly see the tears welling in his beautiful eyes."Unbeknownst to me, Takahashi slipped an aphrodisiac into my drink before allowing his guests to 'seduce' me." Tears spilled over his cheeks as he struggled to continue. "I tried to fight against the uncontrollable passion – to stay true to the man I loved, but it was no use. Time and time again, his guests brought me to climax, and each time it happened Takahashi would upbraid me for being such a shameless slut. Half way through the party, Takahashi went home with Akira leaving me alone and vulnerable in a room full of lecherous men." He wiped angrily at his tears. "I really couldn't blame him for abandoning me. After all, who would want a slut like me for a lover? After that night, I became the most licentious host at the club. I figured that since I wasn't fit to be loved, I might as well enjoy myself. By the time I'd learned the truth about being drugged that night, it was too late for me to change."
"Shuichi had been given an aphrodisiac?" I felt the heat rising in my cheeks. He'd been drugged! The only reason he responded to me was because he'd been drugged!
"No, Takahashi hadn't given it to him yet," Saito quickly interjected, "because he wanted Shuichi to reject you. Up until tonight, Shuichi has never responded to anyone other than Takahashi. The only reason you were invited to the party and given the first chance to play with Shuichi was due to Takahashi's overconfidence. He wanted to publicly humiliate you, but instead he was the one that was humiliated."
Despite my frustration, Saito's news brought a smile to my face. I'd actually managed to humiliate that bastard! The thrill of victory shivered down my spine until I began to wonder what Takahashi would do to Shuichi in retaliation.
"Just who are you, Yuki-san," Saito asked suspiciously. "I thought at first you were the person Shuichi had been crying for the first night he came to the club. Although he told me he's never met you, the way you made love to him tonight, it was as if you knew exactly what you were doing – like you'd made love to him many times before.
Sighing wearily, I retreated from him long enough to set my glass and bottle on the night stand next to an outrageously large bed. I knew he would never accept the truth.
Hell, I'm in the middle of this mess, and half of the time I have a hard time accepting it, I mused sullenly.
"Your apt appraisal when we first met was correct," I conceded languidly. "I am Shuichi's lover."
"How can that be…?"
"He doesn't remember me," I interrupted abruptly. "Let's just leave it at that."
I could see Saito struggling against his curiosity, but thankfully he resisted the urge to question me further.
"Is that all you wanted to tell me," I asked trying unsuccessfully to hide my irritation.
"Yeah, I'm finished," he replied wearily.
"Then I'm going home," I brashly announced. "I've had enough of this place."
"Don't worry, Yuki-san," Saito called out suddenly. "Shuichi will remember you."
The sincerity in his voice stopped me in my tracks. "How can you be so sure?"
"I got a good look at him before Takahashi made him leave," he answered pensively. "Instead of looking relieved to be getting out of there, he looked confused and… maybe just a little bit disappointed."
Saito's words made my heart race. If only it were that simple, I mused sullenly as I walked out the door.
"Please, don't give up on Shu-chan," he cried out moments before I shut the door.
As I slowly made my way home, I struggled in vain against the ominous premonition that had taken hold of my heart. I knew from the start that my rival was a deviant, dangerous person, and yet I couldn't stop myself from being lured into his twisted, fucked up games.
No, it's much worse than that, I moaned inwardly. I publicly humiliated the bastard. What kind of hell is he going to put Shuichi through now?