I stood shivering in fear, riveted to the spot in which my lover had placed me.
This can't be happening to me! Fighting against the urge to bolt from the room, I caught Saito looking at me empathetically. Please get me out of here, I pleaded with my eyes.
Remorsefully, he turned away. I couldn't really blame him. I'd put myself in this position because I wanted so desperately for Takahashi to love me. Stealing a glance at my lover, I was disheartened to see Akira sitting next to him again. They were chatting intimately, something Takahashi has never done with me. Takahashi smiled at something Akira said and it made my heart ache.
Why can't you smile like at me like that?
Turning back toward the guests who would soon be 'training' me, I succumbed to my misery.
I failed as a musician, my best friend abandoned me, and now, after all of the pain I've had to endure, I'm going to have to put up with another one of Takahashi's crazy requests. I'd been coerced into this madness because Takahashi had convinced me that all of his companions had gone through this 'training.' Sullenly, I tried in vain to ignore the obvious intimacy between Takahashi and Akira.
I bet Akira's never been asked to do this.
Suddenly, the door opened and Yuki, the mysterious blond stranger who'd recently begun coming to the club, walked boldly into the room. His calculating eyes scanned the room carefully. When at last he looked directly into my eyes, I felt a jolt of electricity shoot instantly through my body. Until this very afternoon, I knew nothing about him, but the way he was looking at me now, it was as if he knew me – intimately. Against my will, a shiver of anticipation ran down my spine. Out of all the men invited here to 'train' me, I feared this person most of all – not because I was afraid he'd hurt me. I was frightened of the irresistible attraction I felt the moment our eyes met.
"At last our final guest has arrived," Takahashi announced as he sauntered lazily over to me.
"Takahashi," I pleaded. "I changed my mind. I… don't think I can go through with this"
"There, there Shu-chan," Takahashi cooed with mock sympathy. "I only invited the men I knew would take good care of you."
"Please," I wailed as I clutched desperately at his shirt. "Don't put me through this! If I mean anything to you at all…"
"We can't disappoint our guests now, can we?" Takahashi interrupted coldly pushing me away. "You've already agreed to this. It's too late to back out now." Slowly he untied my obi and pushed my kimono over my shoulders. The silky garment fell silently to the floor exposing my naked body to a roomful of hungry stares. Several men whistled at me as I reflexively covered myself.
"Shuichi," Takahashi chided removing my hands and placing them stiffly at my sides. "You know that's against the rules."
Bitter tears poured over my cheeks as Takahashi led me through the room and allowed each guest to fondle my body. Every time I looked into their leering faces and felt their slimy hands slither across my skin, it made me want to puke.
Takahashi, how could you do this to me, my breaking heart demanded silently.I cringed as a particularly loathsome guest clumsily fondled my member. His hot, putrid breath washed over me, and I prayed that I would be unconscious by the time he was allowed to have his way with me.
Finally, I was led to Yuki. Instead of having the same revolting, lustful expression as everyone else, it looked like there was one hell of a battle being waged behind his attractive, golden eyes.
"What's the fucking point to all of this," he demanded testily.
"Shu-chan here is a hopeless romantic," Takahashi said as he lightly brushed the tears off my reddened cheeks. "He doesn't believe that sex without love can be pleasurable. You, and a couple of other lucky guests, will get the chance to show Shuichi just how wrong his naïve conception of sex is."
"So, you want me to seduce and make love to your lover," he asked with measured indifference. He looked at me again. Although his voice was controlled, I could still see a storm of emotions swirling tumultuously within his eyes.
"Only if you think you are able," Takahashi challenged overconfidently.
Yuki's attention diverted back to Takahashi. "What if your twisted little plan backfires and your boyfriend decides he wants to be loved by a real man?"
Holding my breath, I waited for all hell to break lose. Instead Takahashi caressed my chest pausing briefly to pinch one of my nipples. My body shivered in response and, I looked pleadingly into his eyes.
"Takahashi," I entreated plaintively. Please don't make me do this!
"I don't think I have anything to worry about," Takahashi replied deliberately ignoring me. "By the way," he added as he casually walked away. "You're not allowed to kiss his lips."
Smiling boldly, Yuki abruptly pulled me into a surprisingly warm embrace. "Of course not, that would make it all too easy!"
Tenderly, he swept my hair back and kissed my neck softly. I stiffened at his touch, but not because I hated it. On the contrary, the way he held me and kissed me…
No one, not even Takahashi has ever been this gentle with me. The way he looked at me earlier… Somehow, he knows me. I tried with all my might to remember him, but it was no use.
He pulled back and looked into my eyes. Every time I'd been held by someone other than Takahashi I'd felt nothing but revulsion. The fact that I didn't feel that way now was enough to terrify me.
He cupped my face in his hands and gently stroked my cheeks with his thumbs. He was looking at me as if I were someone special to him. In spite of the whirlwind of emotions that tore at my soul, my body began to relax in response.
"What are you doing?" I whispered in confusion.
"I'm doing what your 'lover' asked me to do," he answered softly. Although I fought against it, the sound of his sexy voice, and his tender caress were beginning to affect me.
This isn't fair, I bemoaned wordlessly. It was as if someone had read my mind, created my dream man and purposely led him here.
Slowly, his hands glided down my neck, but when they slid down to my chest, I stiffened again.
No, I can't allow this to happen! I'm supposed to be in love with Takahashi!
Sighing impatiently, he slid his hands back up to my shoulders and massaged them until I relaxed again, but when he pulled me into another gentle embrace, I tensed up again.
Don't embrace me like this, I cried within my soul. If he keeps making love to me like this…
"It's alright Shuichi," he whispered quietly into my ear. "I promise I won't hurt you."
His words pierced the center of my heart and shook the very foundation of my soul. No one has ever treated me like this! Just who is this person? When Saito told me about Yuki earlier, I'd barely been able to remember his face, but the way he was making love to me now, it's obvious that we were more than mere acquaintances.
Tenderly, he kissed my neck again.
Oh God, I inwardly moaned. This feels so good.
I knew I should resist this unexpected temptation; I just didn't have the strength to pull away. Suddenly his soft kisses hit a sensitive spot that sent shivers down my spine.
No, not there…
As if reading my mind, he kissed that spot harder. Gasping audibly, I somehow managed to keep my voice silent.
His reaction to that one tiny intake of breath was as strong as a blast of hot air coming from an overheated oven. Slowly he worked his way back up my neck. Every time his lips touched me it felt as if my skin would melt under the heat of his desire.
No, I berated my pathetic, unfaithful heart. This is wrong. I… can't betray my lover like this with someone I don't even know.
"Shuichi," he passionately whispered before seductively licking the edge of my overly sensitive ear.
Oh my God, I inwardly exclaimed. Why does he have to be so damned good at this?
Tentatively, I wrapped my arms around his waist. As my hands caressed the taut muscles of his back, for a split second I wished that we were alone. My body shivered in excitement. I could no longer deny that not only was I extremely attracted to Yuki, it was also entirely impossible for me to resist him.
Please stop this, I begged my treacherous heart and body. Don't let this feeling overwhelm you.
Tears flowed freely down my cheeks as I struggled against the uncontainable emotions that threatened to sweep my heart away. Suddenly he stopped, and pulling me into a tighter embrace, he brushed his cheek against mine.
How could such an innocent gesture make my heart race like this?
"Do you want me to stop?" He whispered sincerely in my ear.
"W..what did you say," I stuttered incredulously. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. For the first time in my life, someone was actually concerned about my feelings.
"I promised I wouldn't hurt you, remember?" He paused for a moment. "Do you want me to stop?"
"Yes… "What am I saying? "No…" I can't betray Takahashi like this… "I… I don't know," I muttered weakly.
Pulling back slightly he looked into my eyes. The storm of emotions had dissipated from his alluring eyes leaving only his sincere desire behind. Unlike all the others here, who only wanted me to satisfy their lust; I sensed that Yuki wanted more than just sex. In that moment, the last of my defenses was completely swept away and I happily gave in to the irresistible force that had from the very beginning been pulling us steadily toward each other.
Please don't stop, I tried to convey with my eyes. Although my heart had been so easily swayed, I surprisingly didn't care. For some unknown reason, when I looked into Yuki's eyes, it just felt like we belonged together.
Tenderly cupping the back of my head, he began to pull me closer.
Oh my God! He's going to kiss me!
I stiffened up again. "You can't kiss me," I whispered feebly. But I really wish you could!
"I know," he answered softly brushing his nose against mine allowing his lips to come tantalizingly close enough to kiss. Then he lightly pressed his forehead against mine and caressed my cheek before pulling reluctantly away.
"Wait!" I cried out as I felt the heat of his body recede. I didn't want those arms to ever let me go. Tenderly, I caressed his cheeks before slipping my trembling hands into his soft, thick hair. Slowly I pressed my body against his. Embrace this body and make it your own.
"That's enough," Takahashi bellowed yanking me roughly from Yuki's arms.
Shit Takahashi, my mind raced into overdrive. Please don't look at me!
When he noticed the erection I was desperately trying to hide, Takahashi's face went instantly from annoyed to livid.
"What's the problem," Yuki snapped angrily at Takahashi. "This fucked up little game was your idea, not mine!" A large grin spread across his face when he also noticed my arousal. "It looks like I performed much better at this than you anticipated?"
I held my breath and prayed that Takahashi wouldn't do anything in response to his foolhardy taunt.
"Cover yourself up," Takahashi commanded as he threw my kimono at me. As soon as I'd fastened my obi, Takahashi grabbed me and kissed me more forcefully than he ever had before.
He's really angry! I'd better go along with whatever he wants so no one gets hurt.
Takahashi's kiss seemed to last forever. I was afraid he would take me right then and there in front of everyone, but finally he released me.
"You might as well give up now," Takahashi taunted. "Shuichi would never choose a nobody like you over someone like me!" Wrapping his arm possessively around my waist, he turned and pushed me toward the door. "Let's go home Shu-chan. Where you can make love with a real man all night long."
"Wait just a minute Takahashi-san," yelled an irate guest. "I was supposed to play with Shu-chan next!"
"Yeah, that's right," another guest chimed in. "What about the rest of us?"
"Saito, recruit as many hosts as you need and take care of our guests," Takahashi replied dismissively over his shoulder as we left the room.
With downcast eyes I walked stiffly beside Takahashi through the crowded club. What was that all about, I wondered as I struggled to get a handle on this unexpected turn of events. What's going on between Yuki and Takahashi?
"Teijo, have Akira bring my car around immediately," Takahashi commanded.
"As you wish, Takahashi-sama," he replied quickly grabbing the phone.
I could tell that Teijo was curious about our sudden departure, but he had enough sense keep his mouth shut.
I shifted away from Takahashi slightly causing him to tighten his already vice-like grip on my waist. My stomach clenched at the thought of what he would do to me tonight. For the first time in our tumultuous relationship, I was disappointed that Takahashi had intervened.
Yuki was right, I realized as an uncomfortable weight settled in my already agitated stomach. Now that I know what being loved by a real man is like, I'll never be satisfied with anyone else.
All too quickly, Akira arrived with the car. Takahashi led me out of the club, pushed me unceremoniously into the back seat, and climbed in beside me. For several long, awkward minutes, we sat in silence. Ruefully, I looked at Takahashi. Although everything that happened tonight was not my fault, I had done something I vowed I would never do – I'd betrayed my lover. Now my heart was a mess.
"You're still thinking about 'him," Takahashi accused me suddenly.
"N…no Takahashi…" I stuttered guiltily.
My denial was cut short by a sudden ferocious kiss. Takahashi had never been a tender lover, but this time he was much more aggressive than he'd ever been before.
Is he doing this because he's jealous, or is he just angry that someone other than him could arouse me?
I felt his hand slip into my kimono. Ordinarily just a touch from those large, strong hands would be enough to make me completely come undone, but now I felt nothing.
"You disappoint me Shuichi," he whispered menacingly into my ear. "I never pegged you as the type who could so easily betray his lover."
"I never wanted to betray you," I cried silently cursing myself for being so weak. "Why did you have to force me into this? Why did you make me one of your hosts? Why, if you really loved me, did you put me through all of that?"
"Did you honestly believe I would ask someone I love to do the things you've done," Takahashi asked incredulously. "You've never been anything more to me than a cute little plaything. I was going to end our little fling tonight, but now that I know someone else wants you, and you obviously want him in return, I don't feel like letting you go."
"You bastard," I screamed in indignation. "I never wanted to be a… a 'cute little plaything!" My pent up emotions suddenly burst forth from my broken heart. "I… really thought… I was in love… with you," I exclaimed through my bitter tears.
"Don't you see Shuichi," he explained condescendingly. "As my most successful host, you will be loved every night of your life."
"That's not the kind of love I want." I tried in vain to stop my anguished tears. Saito had been right all along. Takahashi had never loved me. All this time, he'd been using me. "Please take me home."
"You're not going anywhere," he warned ominously. "You belong to me, and no one – especially not that arrogant bastard – is ever going to take you away from me."
"You just said you don't love me," I replied angrily. "I don't want to be your… host anymore!"
"That's not for you to decide," Takahashi retorted. He retrieved something from his pocket and before I could even wonder what it was, he popped it into his mouth.
He started kissing me again. I tried to push him away, but he easily overpowered me. Grabbing my jaw roughly, he forced my mouth open and with his tongue he pushed a pill into my mouth. I tried to push it back where it came from, but it was no use. He was simply too strong for me to resist. At last he pulled away, but he covered my mouth and pinched my nose closed with his hands.
"Either swallow that or die!"
Don't do this to me, I screamed within my soul as I fought against him in vain. Just as I was about to pass out, I swallowed the pill in defeat. For a moment the world went black, but suddenly I was able to breathe again. As I took another deep breath, Takahashi's face slowly came into focus, and I definitely did not like the way he was smiling at me.
"What… was that," I whispered breathlessly in panic.
"It's an aphrodisiac," Takahashi answered as he retrieved a bottle from his pocket. "These little pills are the strongest on the market." He tapped the bottle affectionately before tucking it back into his jacket pocket.
Looking at me with a calculating leer, he continued. "Starting tonight, you will serve only me. I'm going to transform you into an erotic slut that no one will be able to resist."
He untied my obi and pulled apart my kimono. "I'm opening a new club in Singapore. With you as my featured attraction," he whispered lustily as his hungry eyes wandered over my body. "I'm sure it will be very successful."
"I won't let you do this to me," I exclaimed defiantly closing my kimono.
"Shuichi, you don't understand. Under the influence of these pills, you will have absolutely no willpower. No matter who the other person is, you will eagerly spread your legs for them." Takahashi laughed at me cruelly. "By the time my new club opens, you will be unable to function without them."
My body instantaneously went numb. "You… you can't be serious!" He's going to get me addicted to those damn pills and make me into a sex slave! "NOOO," I screamed as I lashed out at him with both of my fists.
"Shuichi," he patronizingly scolded as he effortlessly grabbed my hands. "I didn't want to begin your training like this." Holding both of my hands in a vise-like grip with just one of his hands, Takahashi untied his tie and with practiced ease tied my wrists securely together.
He abruptly let me go, and taking advantage of my unexpected freedom, I desperately tried to loosen his knotted tie with my teeth, but Takahashi wasn't through with me yet. He yanked me roughly onto his lap, and forced my legs apart so that I straddled his waist.
"What are you… AHHH," I cried out in pain as Takahashi forced himself into me.
"This is your punishment," he answered as he roughly grabbed my hips and started pressing them into each of his forceful thrusts.
"Stop it, Takahashi," I wailed. It felt like he was going to split me in two. "Y..you're hurting me!"
"Pain isn't the only sensation you'll be feeling," he replied as the speed and ferocity of his assault increased. "The aphrodisiac will soon be kicking in. Once you begin to feel the pleasure hidden within the pain, you're body will never be satisfied without it."
"I HATE THIS," I screamed squirming fruitlessly against his superior strength. "There's no way in hell I'll ever want this!"
"You say that now," Takahashi replied his voice husky from exertion, "but in a few days, you'll be begging me for this."
I stopped struggling and tearfully endured the pain. As the minutes slowly passed by, I became lost within my helpless shame. Eventually, my body became accustomed to Takahashi's abuse, and the once stinging pain gradually morphed into a heat that spread with alarming speed from one end of my body to the other. It pooled uncomfortably in my groin and threatened to swallow me within the depths of this carnal nightmare.
"You're finally beginning to respond," Takahashi remarked as he teasingly caressed my erection.
Clenching my eyes shut, I bit my lip and fought desperately the urge to cry out and buck my hips in response.
Damn it! I don't want this. I want… my breath stilled within my chest at the name that leapt effortlessly into my mind. I want Yuki!
"If you beg for it," Takahashi crooned blatantly ignoring my anguish. "I might let you come."
"Damn you," I cursed insolently through my clenched teeth. "You know I don't want this."
"Really," He asked rhetorically as he tightened his grip around my painfully swollen member.
"NO… AHHHH," I cried out in defeat as I lost all control.
"Your lewd body is responding nicely now," Takahashi crooned as he stroked my member faster. Then his expression suddenly changed. "Are you still thinking about Yuki? Do you wish it was him fucking you instead of me?"
"YES," I exclaimed. Just thinking about Yuki fueled my passion far more than Takahashi or his drug. "I WANT YUKI," I screamed as I came all over Takahashi's chest.
All of a sudden, I was thrown roughly on my back. Takahashi began to pound into me as if he was trying to crush both my body and my spirit. The pain was so excruciating, it nearly took my breath away. With one final bone jarring thrust, I felt his seed gush into my body.
"Get this through your head," he hissed menacingly. "You're never going to see that arrogant bastard again! In a couple of weeks, you'll be too strung out on my pills to remember your own name – let alone anyone else. By the time my new club is completed, this hungry little ass will be more than ready to make me a lot of money."
"Please Takahashi," I tearfully entreated. "Don't do this to me."
"You did this to yourself," he answered as he coldly tossed my limp body aside, "when you chose that bastard over me."
Curling into a ball I gave way to my tears. I'm never going to see Yuki again. Those words echoed endlessly through my mind. The pain Takahashi had inflicted upon me was nothing compared to the despair that gripped my heart. Nothing matters anymore, I silently lamented as we drove on through the night each mile taking me farther away from my former life, and Yuki.