I cringed as the bright sunlight pulled me unwillingly from my oblivion. It was a place I discovered one night after I'd drunk myself into a stupor. In the depths of that alcohol induced darkness, I found solace. It was the only way I could escape my self inflicted torment. The pounding in my head increased exponentially with my awakening consciousness. Even though it was excruciating, it paled in contrast to the familiar pain that gripped my heart.
"What the hell is wrong with me," I mumbled irritably as I staggered out of bed. It wasn't as if I'd never been away from the little brat before. I headed for the bathroom to splash some water on my face, but a glimpse at my haggard reflection in the mirror stopped me cold.
"Ah hell, who am I kidding," I whispered in defeat as I retreated from my wretched countenance. I went back into the bedroom and yanked on my clothes. All of those other times, I had been the one who had walked away. And ultimately, I had always made the decision to go back to Shuichi. Granted, it was usually after he tracked me down, but I could have refused to go back to him. For some reason, I never did.
This time is different, I mused sullenly as I lit a cigarette. This time I'm not in control. This time there's a very real possibility that I may never get Shuichi back. Trying to ignore my despair, I stumbled into the kitchen and made some coffee. As its aromatic scent filled the air, I chased a couple of aspirin tablets with a glass of water in an attempt to silence my throbbing temples. Glancing at the calendar, my already nauseous stomach twisted into knots. It had been nearly two weeks since I heard from Tsuneo, and each slowly passing day eroded just a bit more of my hope along with it. I poured myself a cup of coffee and stared helplessly at the bustling city outside my window.
If I hadn't made that stupid wish, Shuichi would be on tour now. I squeezed my eyes shut and braced myself for the bitter-sweet memories that flooded effortlessly into my tormented mind. One memory in particular stood out amongst all the others. It was the first time I'd watched one of Bad Luck's performances. I never would have guessed that an obnoxious brat like Shuichi would have such a commanding stage presence. Although I would never admit this to anyone, I have always loved Shuichi's voice. It didn't matter whether he was singing one of his inane songs, or crying out passionately while we were making love, I never could get enough of it. Not being able to hear that voice again would almost be as painful as never being able to hold him in my arms.
The coffee along with the aspirins had already begun to dissipate my hangover fog, but those agonizing thoughts persistently lingered. I took a large swig of my coffee and tried my best to banish them, but it was no use. Slowly, I turned away from the window. Everything in the apartment now reminded me of Shuichi. His overwhelming presence surrounded and invaded me.
Shit! This has got to stop, I chastised myself angrily. Swallowing the last of my coffee, I began to clean up the empty liquor bottles that were scattered haphazardly around the apartment.
I've really been drinking a lot lately, I mused sullenly as the trail of empty bottles led me into the study. On the desk my laptop, closed and abandoned, sat amidst empty bottles, instant ramen containers and assorted rubbish. Sighing impatiently, I tied off the full bag of garbage I'd been lugging around and retrieved an empty one.
This is so fucking pathetic, I grumbled disgustedly under my breath as I began to clean up the litter. A half crumbled piece of paper suddenly caught my eye. It was the lyrics to a song I'd written the night I learned about Shuichi's disappearance. I felt my cheeks redden at the raw, honest emotions that had flowed so effortlessly onto the paper. Not long after I'd written this, I grudgingly realized what my heart desired the most.
Shuichi… if I manage to get us out of this mess, maybe I'll let Nittle Grasper record this as a surprise for you. Carefully I folded it up and tucked it in my pocket alongside the 'mystic stone.'
I jumped suddenly as the phone jarred me from my dark musings.
"Hello," I answered expectantly. My strained voice sounded strange to my ears.
"I've got good news and bad news," Tsuneo replied in that maddening cryptic style of his.
"Don't fuck with me Tsuneo," I growled angrily. Although he still sounded like a whimsical fool, I got the impression that he was working very hard to keep the atmosphere light.
"Temper, temper mon ami," he chided patronizingly.
"Just get on with it," I grumbled gripping the phone with all my might in an attempt to control my emotions.
"I know where Shuichi is, but the situation is more complicated than I'd anticipated," Tsuneo explained seriously.
The abrupt change in the tone of his voice set my already frazzled nerves on edge.
"What's going on," I asked anxiously.
"Come to my apartment in an hour, and I'll explain everything to you in detail."
"Wait a minute," I exclaimed in vain into the now silent receiver. "Damn you Tsuneo!" I slammed the phone down in frustration and lit a cigarette.
"I hate it when he does shit like that!"
I pounded on Tsuneo's door furiously. Spending the past hour aimlessly wandering through the city had done nothing to calm my nerves. Damn that bastard! After making me wait in the dark for two damn weeks, he calls me up just to make me wait an hour more!
"Ah, right on time mon ami," Tsuneo replied. His obvious attempt at levity made my stomach twist into knots.
"Quit jerking me around and just tell me what the hell is…" I stopped short in surprise. Saito and Chiba were both there. The worried look on their faces made the knots in my stomach twist even tighter. "Damn it Tsuneo! What the hell is going on?"
"Have a seat and we'll explain everything," Tsuneo offered pulling a chair out for me.
Grudgingly I sat down. Across from me, Saito fiddled with his tea cup obviously avoiding my gaze. It looked as if he would burst into tears at any moment. Chiba to my right sat stiffly, and as I'd noted before, he seemed overly concerned with his companion.
"Now where should we begin," Tsuneo pensively said as he placed a cup full of tea in front of me.
"Shuichi is in trouble and it's all my fault," Saito wailed miserably.
"Calm down Saito," Tsuneo replied gently in consolation. "We don't know for certain what Takahashi plans to do yet."
"I know what he's planning, because it was supposed to happen to me," Saito continued undeterred.
"Wait just a goddamn minute," I exclaimed angrily. "Someone had better tell me what the hell is going on!"
Tsuneo sighed impatiently. "We just learned that Takahashi is planning to open up an S&M club in Singapore," His voice devoid of all lightheartedness sent an icy shiver down my spine. "It's possible that he intends force Shuichi to be its main attraction."
"I'm sorry, Yuki-san," Saito remorsefully mumbled.
"I've told you time and again not to blame yourself," Chiba interjected irritably.
"Yuki-san, remember when we first met," Saito asked blatantly ignoring Chiba. He looked like he hadn't had a good night's sleep in a very long time.
"Yeah, I guess so," I answered tentatively.
"I told you that Takahashi was using Shuichi the same way he used me," he explained as a single tear slowly slid down his pale cheek. "I think that I was the one Takahashi was targeting. Before Shuichi became Takahashi's lover and started working for the club, I was the one who used to get all the rough customers. But virtually overnight I lost all of my regulars. I thought it was strange when they all of a sudden stopped requesting me, but I just found out from Teijo that Takahashi had been the one who had set up all our appointments."
"If Takahashi was setting up the appointments, how could it possibly be your fault," Chiba exclaimed in exasperation. Clearly this wasn't the first time they'd had this argument.
"Don't you see," Saito retorted rising abruptly from his chair and turning away from us. "I just wasn't good enough. That has to be the reason why Shuichi ended up with all my customers. If I'd just tried a little harder, Shuichi would have never gotten mixed up into any of this! Damn it," he cried out miserably. Covering his face with his hands, he began so sob quietly.
"Saito," Chiba whispered tenderly embracing him. "I'm the reason you lost all your regulars."
"How could you possibly…" Saito mumbled in disbelief.
"Well technically I wasn't actually the one who," Chiba cleared his throat nervously, "convinced Takahashi to stop scheduling your… 'appointments," he spat out the word distastefully. "It actually was one of my great uncle's associates. My great uncle is the black sheep of our family. Although he was smart enough to go any college in Japan, he became involved with the Yakuza. His father pretty much banned him from the family, but for some reason, he still kept up with all of us."
Chiba paused and ran his fingers through his hair nervously. "He's always been very kind to me. I guess it's probably because I'm sort of a black sheep myself. The point is, I just couldn't stand idly by and watch that bastard use you like that. I tried to make you see what kind of person he was, but you wouldn't listen to me. I'd hoped that when he tossed you aside, you would get out of this business. But even after the horrible way you'd been treated… even though Takahashi was obviously using you, you still chose to stay near him. That's why I had no other choice but to go to my great uncle."
"Why… would you do that…," Saito whispered hesitantly.
Chiba paused for a moment and took a deep breath. "Because I'm in love with you, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I don't want anyone else touching you, and I for damn sure don't want you getting hurt again." He pulled a clearly stunned Saito into a warm embrace and captured his lips hungrily. A few tense moments passed before Saito slowly wrapped his arms around Chiba's waist and fully surrendered to his overwhelming passion.
I stared uncomfortably into my tea cup, but it wasn't their passionate display of affection that made me uneasy. How many times did I have the chance to tell Shuichi that I love him? There were far too many to count. In my defense, I hadn't exactly been very forthcoming with my emotions, but even if I had been, I sensed that there was still something deep within my psyche that would have kept me from revealing them.
Reluctantly, Chiba pulled away from Saito. "You don't have to return my feelings right now, just stay by my side," he ardently implored.
"I hate to break up such a touching love scene," I sarcastically interrupted before Saito had a chance to respond, "but could the two of you save all that mushy stuff for later? Right now we have to concentrate on rescuing Shuichi!"
"Yuki is right," Tsuneo agreed. He retrieved a map and began to spread it out on the table. Hastily, the rest of us grabbed our tea cups out of the way.
"My source tells me that Shuichi is being held in one of Takahashi's country villas about one hundred kilometers away from the city." Tsuneo pointed to a location on the map next to a small lake. It looked as though the villa in question was in the middle of nowhere.
"Apparently," He continued. "The Takahashi's purchased the entire lake along with the villa. There are no nearby neighbors, and as you can clearly see, there are no nearby villages or towns. It's the perfect place to 'get away from it all'…"
"Yeah, it's also the perfect place to hold someone captive," I interjected in frustration.
"That's right," Tsuneo concurred. "I've also been told that the place is heavily guarded."
"Is Kuma one of the guards," Saito asked. "He hasn't been at the club since the night Shuichi was kidnapped."
"Yes he is," Tsuneo answered brightly, "fortunately for us."
I inwardly sighed in relief. There's no way Tiny would ever let anything bad happen to Shuichi.
"Now," Tsuneo began looking at all of us expectantly. "All we have to do is come up with a plan…"