I strip Edward naked. I trail my fingers down his glorious body. It glitters in the sun.
He fondles my good breast. We kiss passionately. He fingers me, slowly.
Thrusts his cock into my vagina.
If this were a book, it would be the last one.
I ride his cock, and when we both come at the same exact time, he looks deep into my eyes.
"This has been the best night of my existence."
Its because he's a guy. And a douche bag.
"Don't ruin this," I say.
We make love until the morning.
And I know I have hurt Gale and Jacob. They have watched us.
In fact, everyone has.
I slap my forehead.
That is why I was supposed to wait.
Damn contract.
THGTHGTHGTHGTHG
Edward is better by morning.
Mysterious, isn't it?
Pussy can do that to a man.
So we trudge forward.
A pack of werewolves attack us.
I have to do all of the work. Edward has no skills.
No, I digress.
He has no skills that will help us at this moment.
Suddenly, Jasper has him at the throat.
He has crazy eyes.
Might be contacts. I'm not sure.
"Now you have to kill us both. I'm dying. He's dying. You're dying. Everyone's dying."
It is true. At the hands of the Volturi, we will die. But they promised two victors.
And I want Edward and I to win.
Because I want some more sex. And that can't happen if he's dead.
I flick Jasper's forehead, and he pummels below into a cliff I forgot to mention ahead of time.
The werewolves eat him alive.
I hear his screams, and I smile.
The Hungry Games are finally over.
Until the next voice speaks.
Dun Dun Dun Dun, I think.
And I know the cliffhanger must be killing you…