Hidden Wounds: Chapter 13

Kate almost laughed at the consternation on Castle's face when she walked out of the bathroom. She had purposefully left her hair down and wet, letting the droplets of water on her neck creep into the oversized comfy t-shirt of his she had borrowed. There was definitely lust there in his eyes. Lust and longing and something fiercer… So many conflicting emotions played across his features, and she might have laughed, had she not realized that panic and guilt were two of them.

"Hey," she said, walking over to him and reaching out to take his hand, "hey, you're thinking too hard." Castle gave his head a slight shake and smiled at her. She couldn't help but notice that the smile was wary.

"I just…I don't want…" he didn't seem to be able to finish his sentence.

"It'll be alright, Castle. One step at a time." The wariness didn't leave his face, but he did relax a bit.

"First step, shower." She tugged on his hands to pull him into a standing position and gave him a push toward the bathroom.

"Why, Detective Beckett, don't you like my ruggedly handsome man smell?"

"Maybe I just want you all wet."

Castle froze, his eyes whipping around to burn into hers, and for a moment, she thought they might never get out of the bedroom that morning - something she was far less upset about than she ought to be.

But as she watched, the stark lust was dampened by…what was it? Fear?

"Shower it is." Castle croaked out as he turned and made a dash for the bathroom. She could hear him mutter "a very, very cold shower" as he closed the door.

Kate couldn't help the disappointment that pooled low in her belly. She stared after him a moment, hearing his movements through the bathroom door. Listening as the shower turned on. Picturing him standing there, under the water, lathering the soap all over –

Stop it. Kate shook her head.

She was supposed to be being supportive, not trying to jump him like some hormone-crazed teenager. She sighed.

This hadn't really gone at all how she had expected it to go. And yet, even through her concern for Castle, her fear of whatever he was keeping from her, her disappointment in how much he was holding back, she realized she couldn't help but feel content. Happy. She was here. With Castle. And they may still have a long way to go, but they had started down the path, together.

They could do this.

Coffee. We need coffee.

Kate headed to the kitchen and began pulling out the materials for coffee. The filters took her a bit of rummaging, but eventually she found everything she needed and flicked the pot on, inhaling deeply as it began to brew.

The sound of the front door unlocking had her spinning around.

Martha swept through, laden with bags, pressing a dramatic hand to her forehead.

"Oh, Richard, I am so glad you are up. I could really use some of that coffee. I could smell it from down the hall. Wait until you hear about what Gladys said to me this-" Martha abruptly cut off as she finally turned and found Kate standing in the middle of the kitchen, gaping.

"Kate!" She exclaimed. They both stood there a moment in surprise. Martha recovered first.

"Well, darling, how lovely to see you." Kate felt her cheeks heat as Martha took in her wet hair, watching as Martha's keen eyes noted the fact that she was standing there in nothing but Castle's over-sized t-shirt.

"Good morning, Martha. I…I didn't expect you…" Kate cringed. She didn't expect her? In her own home? That sounded like she had planned to run away and sweep the whole thing under the rug.

Kate felt Martha's eyes on her as she set her bags down on the couch. "Did someone blow up your apartment again, dear?" She asked, and Kate noted the deeper question under the lightness of her tone.

"No, I…We had a tough case. I came back with Castle to talk about it. It was late, so I just…stayed."

Martha's gaze was disconcerting. Even more disconcerting was the pleasant smile masking the penetrating scrutiny. And I thought I was good at interrogation.

"That's funny, I didn't think you were working this weekend. In fact, I specifically remember Richard telling me you had a whole weekend off, since it's such a rare thing for you."

"Oh, I wasn't – I" Kate stopped, realizing she had backed herself into a corner.

"So this case, it was Friday's case?"

"Well-"

"And you've been here since then?"

Kate stammered, trying to figure out how to extricate herself from the hole she was digging. Finally Martha let out a loud guffaw, and Kate caught the amused glimmer in her eye. She let out a sigh of relief.

"So, where's Richard?" Martha asked, and Kate was grateful for a question she could easily answer.

"He's in the shower."

"Good. Let's have a little girl talk. I need coffee." Martha swept past her into the kitchen, pulling out mugs, and Kate grabbed the sugar and cream, helping her prepare it while mentally preparing herself for the conversation she knew was about to take place. Martha moved to the counter stool, beckoning for Kate to sit with her.

"So. Spill." Martha said, picking up her mug in her perfectly manicured hands and staring at Kate over the rim.

Kate took a long swallow from her mug to mask the heat she could feel rising in her cheeks again and give herself a moment.

"I don't… there's not much to say, really."

She could feel Martha's eyes on her.

"Kate Beckett, are you going to break my son's heart?"

Kate's eyes whipped up to Martha's, and she could see the iron behind the polite smile.

"No. I would never…" she felt her breath catch in her throat, "I would never hurt him."

"Good." Kate relaxed as the steel left Martha's eyes and the good humor returned.

"Are the two of you…" she waved her hand dramatically, "an item…as they say?"

Kate felt her mouth quirk into a small grin that quickly died on her lips as she realized she didn't know. They hadn't actually talked about it.

"I don't…we have a lot of things to work through. We've been talking. I guess we've both…I don't know how to say this exactly… we both…discovered things about the other this weekend? We…both had things we needed to say." Kate thought about Castle's panic attacks and her admission that she had heard him in the cemetery. "Things we were keeping hidden."

Martha gave a huge sigh of relief. "So he finally told you? About everything that's been happening since your shooting?"

Kate looked at her, surprised. "Castle said you didn't know."

"Well of course I know, dear, I was there when he got that phone call from that horrible man about your mother's case. And you can be sure I was against the whole thing. Why he would agree to meet a complete stranger-" Kate heard Martha cut off as she felt dawning horror growing in her eyes.

"Oh." Martha was looking at her in equal horror. "He hasn't told you." It wasn't a question.

"What phone call?" Kate asked, her voice sounding hollow to her own ears.

"You said you had talked. About hidden things. What were you talking about?"

"His panic attacks. What phone call?"

"Richard's having panic attacks?"

"Martha. Tell me. What phone call?"

"Don't, Kate." Kate and Martha both jerked around at the sound of Castle's voice.

Thank you for reading! Best, A.D.