Title: In A World Without Sarcasm 7: Till Death Join Us
Author: Slashydutchie
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Miranda/Andy
Genre: Humor
Summary: Number six in what's going to be a whole bunch of drabbles/short fics in which I take quotes from DWP WAY too seriously. Today: "Is there some reason that my coffee isn't here? Has she died or something?"
Disclaimer: Everything you recognize belongs to other people… if it belonged to me Andy and Miranda would have pounced on each other… multiple times.

A/N: Feel free to add your own suggestions in the reviews, I'll try to work my way through all of them!
A/N2: Also, I know this one turned out as more of a pointless little ficlet rather than a funny drabble.

"Is there some reason that my coffee isn't here? Has she died or something?"

Nigel had had a very long day. Miranda had thrown out three shoots, pulled up another, decided another had to be shot again with models who were supposed to made available (one had turned out to currently be six months pregnant, and even that reason for not being available had been a hard sell) and told him to think of something entirely new for the new 'green design' spread that was not allowed to actually include green and/or industrial space.

This was no true excuse, but it was the only reason he could think of as to why he pulled his most sincere face.

"Yes, Miranda... she has."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

"You told her what?" a very much alive Andrea Sachs exclaimed, staring at her friend in absolute horror.

"Well, it's not like I meant to... she stormed off before I could tell her I was only joking!" Well, it wasn't really a joke as much as a failed attempt at sarcasm. Or deadpan humor. Or... something. Frustrated with his brain's lack of activity, Nigel decided that his day could not actually get worse by stealing Miranda's coffee and he snagged the cup off the tray, downing a few gulps without caring about how hot it was.

"A joke? Telling Miranda I'm dead isn't funny at all!" By the way Andy was fuming it seemed a lot more as if Nigel's life was the one in danger rather than her own.

"It's a little funny," Emily said with her usual appreciation for sadism directed at anyone but herself, making both others in the room jump, Nigel spilling hot coffee over his Armani shirt.

"Emily! How long have you been standing there?" he squeaked, frantically trying to polish it off with the nearest piece of available fabric... which just happened to be Andrea's scarf. The second Nigel noticed this he let go of it very gingerly and backed off a little, putting the table between himself and the fuming brunette just in case.

"Long enough," the Brit said smugly as she sauntered (yes, Emily had mastered the true art that was sauntering) into the room. "And I have a..." she paused as a delicate cough rang out from the hallway. "Serenahas a plan."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

"I have a bad feeling about this," Andy told Serena for the umpteenth time as the blonde finished her make-up.

This bad feeling might have had something to do with the fact that they were inside Miranda's townhouse. In the bedroom. On the bed.

"And I suppose you have a better plan that doesn't end with any of us losing their job?" Emily said testily, earning herself a smile from Serena, which in turn chalked up an eyeroll from Nigel.

"Explain to me again how pranking Miranda won't result in us getting fired?" Again was the operative word there. Serena had explained her plan several times now and somehow it always seemed very reasonable coming from the blonde... and then Andy would pause and think and realize how stupid and idiotic and...

"I hear Prada in the hallway!" Nigel exclaimed, running out of the room along the pre-designated flight path.

"Such a hero..." Emily mumbled, rolling her eyes as she followed the art director. She made it look as if she wasn't running by means Andrea could only describe as 'sheer Britishness'.

"Good luck, Andy!" Serena winked before following the redhead. She too appeared not to be running, but that was because she wasn't running by means of what anyone could describe as 'ridiculously long legs'.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Miranda was going to kill Nigel.

Her blue eyes, now suspiciously red-looking, took in the sign at the head of the bed.

And Emily. She was going to kill Emily too.

Slowly she strode towards the bed and noted the make-up on Andrea's motionless face.

So Serena was to be murdered as well.

Andrea, however... well... she was already dead.

And the sign did say 'Please kiss to revive'.