Please read this.

Here's a thank you shout out to LesGemeaux for informing me of a story with a few similarities to mine. The title is 'Sexoid' by Blackice24. I don't mean to plagiarize in any way. In all honesty I had no clue someone else had written a story with the same theme, nor have I read Blackice's story lol. I wrote Humanoid as an eighteen page long oneshot for my bestie Ally, who was in dire need of cheering up on her birthday. Should anyone request that this story be taken down, I'll discontinue it and focus on my other fics.

x

There was a loud blare of music, complete with the clashing of drums and a sick guitar riff. Ichigo groaned, trying to turn his head away from the source of sound without much success. Something was tickling the hair on his forehead, and something else was tracing lines and circles up and down his chest and stomach.

"Fucking alarm." Ichigo muttered, still adamant about keeping his eyes closed.

Something massaged his shoulder lightly, then pressed a kiss to his arm. Ichigo sighed, realizing his blanket had gone missing for quite some time. He snuggled closer to the warm body in his bed, breathing in an unfamiliar scent that tickled his senses.

For a moment he teetered on the brink of sleep and consciousness.

Then he took a flying leap out of his side of the bed.

"What the hell?"

The blanket wound itself round his ankle, bringing him down to the cold floor with a crash and a thump. Ichigo swore as he felt the back of his head throb from where it collided with the hard surface. He looked up with bleary eyes to see his Humanoid sitting upright on his bed, a curious look on his face.

"Bastard." Ichigo hissed at him.

Grimmjow smirked. "Good morning, Kurosaki Ichigo."

Rolling himself over so he could kneel and slowly stand, Ichigo shook his head, still pissed at his Humanoid. "Quit touching me when I'm asleep, who the hell do you think I am?"

"My owner and master, birth name Kurosaki Ichigo, born July fifteenth, five feet eleven inches in height, one hundred and forty five pounds in weight, gender male, hair color orange, eye color hazel, shoulder width –"

"Stop!" Ichigo held out both hands in surrender. "Alright, I get it, you know who I am. Now stop my alarm."

The music faded to silence as Grimmjow twisted the rotary dial that seemed to float in midair above Ichigo's bed. Sighing, the teen stood up and tugged up his pajama pants, noting the drawstring had been loosened considerably. He shot his Humanoid a suspicious glare and received another infuriating smirk in return.

"What did you think you were doing to me?"

Grimmjow looked at him quizzically. He seemed to have gained more emotion since yesterday.

"I mean, touching me all over like that . . ." Ichigo narrowed his eyes at the blue haired man. "Like I was some kind of meat, like you could just run your hands over me when my defenses were down."

"I was feeling." Grimmjow replied, his answer in all its simplicity giving Ichigo the start of one of the most badass headaches in history.

"I got that part, alright. What were you trying to feel?" He ran a hand through his orange spikes, feeling grumpy and frustrated.

"You."

Stunned into silence by his Humanoid's answer, Ichigo bit his lip and walked away, heading for the bathroom so he could splash cold water onto his face and usher in a new day without feeling like his brain had just been through a blender. How could his Humanoid just start to molest him unless he was triggered by something sexual? Were they all programmed with that? Ichigo put his hands into the sink and let the motion sensors turn on the water for him. Well, the delivery guy did warn him about their sex drives. He supposed he would have to ask Renji about them, or maybe run up a search on this topic. Swallowing, he looked down at his manhood, which was busy showing itself despite being constricted by his pants. Ichigo shut his eyes and tried to think clearly.

He remembered watching a movie the night before on his Nitro-screen – a bright blue plasma screen that projected images and videos on a clear piece of wall, one of the marvelous high-tech gadgets that soon took the place of large plasma TVs and tablets by storm – and smacked his own forehead. It had been one of Renji's cliché romance dramas, something his best friend had accidentally left over at his place when he stayed the night a few times before. Ichigo now had a small collection that he kept in a box and a few plastic bags, though he never really got round to giving them back.

His morning wood successfully toned down, Ichigo sped out of the bathroom with toothbrush in hand. Growling at Grimmjow, Ichigo reached for his phone. It beeped meekly as he punched in the lock code and speed dialed Renji's number.

"'lo?" Renji sounded half-asleep.

"You need to take back all your stuff! He's been riffling through it ever since I taught him how to work the Nitro-screen and now he's practicing those annoying cliché love techniques on me!"

There was a soft snore from the other end of the line. Ichigo gritted his teeth.

"Renji!"

"Speaking." His friend yawned loudly into the earpiece. "Dude, y'know it's too early to wake up."

"That's because you live six minutes away from the university. Some people have to walk a few blocks."

"Point." Renji sighed. "Bring him with you today then. He can meet my Huma-Com too. Maybe they'll get along well."

Ichigo frowned. "What d'you mean maybe? And when are you gonna take your stuff back before he does anymore brain damage to me?"

A chuckle, followed by a soft moan that didn't sound like it came from Renji. Ichigo glared at his phone in surprised disgust.

"Is that your Huma-Com?"

Renji chuckled again. "Nah, she's better than any Huma-Com, Ichigo."

Blushing a deep crimson, Ichigo wished he hadn't pried. Another girl for another stand. Renji flipped through girls the way girls flipped through clothing racks in a department store. He muttered a goodbye and quickly hung up as a giggle could be heard, then the creaking of a mattress.

"Renji." Grimmjow said from the bed, watching him with a blank stare. "Who is that?"

"My best friend." Ichigo replied instantaneously. "He owns those romance videos you watched last night. Thank god he doesn't leave his precious porn collection here, or something else would've happened that I really don't want to happen. I mean, I would seriously make him make it up to me."

Grimmjow watched him with a puzzled expression. "Kurosaki Ichigo makes porn with his best friend Renji?"

For the second time that morning, Ichigo hit his head against a hard surface.

x

Ichigo tugged the shirt on Grimmjow down a little more to cover his jean-clad butt. Luckily he had a pair of jeans that fit Grimmjow just fine. Still, getting his Humanoid more clothes was definitely on his next shopping list.

"Okay, this way."

They walked down the busy street, weaving their way through the crowds of people who were hurrying to school, work, and going about on their daily routine. Mothers held on to their children's hands tightly, joggers slowed to a brisk walk as they avoided bumping into others, students chattered and laughed as they shifted the weight of their backpacks, businessmen looked at their plasma watches and nattered into smartphones or earpieces. Overhead, a large rotating ball made entirely of synthetic fibers hovered, displaying the time, date, temperature reading and weather report. Drifts and hybrid cars made no noise save for a soft, almost imperceptible whirring as they used energy fueled by solar power.

"Kurosaki Ichigo." Grimmjow said. "Where is Kurosaki Ichigo taking me?"

"Stop calling me that." Ichigo muttered. In a louder voice, he said "Call me Ichigo. It's okay to call me 'you' too. Like 'where are you taking me?' Clear?"

Grimmjow nodded.

"Now repeat that."

"Clear."

"No, I mean, repeat 'where are you taking me?'"

"Where are you taking me?"

Ichigo gave Grimmjow a smile, nodding at him. "Good! That's not as bad as I thought."

Grimmjow followed his owner with a confused look. They made their way past a few blocks, headed toward a large building with a tall signature N on the side of its elegant structure.

"The N stands for Nitro-U. Most of us call it N-U for short. The founder is Sosuke Aizen, the same man who probably made you." Ichigo smiled as he noticed Grimmjow's quizzical stare. "Does that ring a bell?"

"Bell?"

"Nevermind." Ichigo chuckled, taking Grimmjow's arm and leading him up the steps and into the building. "I got here on a scholarship, which Nitroid Productions helps sponsor for a great number of the students in this faculty. Those with true potential that is. I hear the ones in computer engineering and medical science are interviewed and hand picked by Sosuke-san himself."

He didn't notice Grimmjow's eyes change from a bright cerulean to a dark blue, then back again. It happened within the span of two seconds. The name Sosuke Aizen triggered something deep within his Humanoid. Unfortunately, it went unnoticed.

"Don't touch anything, okay?" Ichigo warned, depositing Grimmjow into the back of the lift.

"Okay."

He pressed number three on the menu of buttons, and they were whisked up to the third floor. Stepping out, he turned around and held out a hand for Grimmjow to take.

"Here's the library section, where we can meet with Renji. He said something about sitting right at the back, in the occult studies section. No one ever goes there." Ichigo sighed. "I'm gonna have trouble finding it."

They entered a large, fully air-conditioned library, feet making no noise on the plush carpeted floor. Several students spoke in low tones as they discussed assignments at a large oblong table to the right. Ichigo glanced over at the 'borrow' and 'return' tables, but no librarians were to be seen. Well, it was still very early; most of them were probably on their way to the U, either that or they were having breakfast down in the cafeteria. He knew better than to ask the cocky-looking, nerdy students in deep discussion, and so vowed to find the Occult section on his own.

"Books." Grimmjow said softly, following Ichigo obediently as he walked past each shelf slowly, checking the labels on the sides of the tall racks for their contents.

"Yep." Ichigo continued his search. "Right at the back, he said. So I guess, the letter O? Occult Sciences. Or should that be OS?"

Grimmjow followed behind silently, watching his owner intently. When it became clear Ichigo was not going to be able to find Renji, he flipped out his smartphone and called his number.

No answer.

"Damn. He must have it on silent mode. Probably left it in class or something, too."

Grimmjow continued to watch Ichigo, like he was the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen. Technically, he was. No one could walk, mumble, and redial Renji's number like he could.

"What are we doing, Ichigo?"

At his Humanoid's request, Ichigo turned around and handed him his phone. "Keep this for me. I just sent him twenty five missed calls. He'll probably laugh his head off about it later."

Grimmjow stared at the phone in horror. "When can he get it back?"

Ichigo frowned. "What?"

"His head."

Shoulders falling as ninety nine percent of his spirit deflated, Ichigo shook his head. "Forget what I said about you not being too bad. You're slower than a snail. I'm starting to think I really should give you back and ask for a refund."

Grimmjow hands on his shoulders startled Ichigo, making him look up into alarmed blue eyes.

"Don't."

Whatever was making his Humanoid all jacked up like that made Ichigo wonder how badly the factory Grimmjow had been manufactured in treated him. Shaking his head to clear his mind, Ichigo stepped away from his Humanoid, slapping Grimmjow's hands from his shoulders.

"Don't touch me."

Grimmjow's sad blue eyes watching him made his insides quiver and melt with the large amount of guilt welling up within. He looked so human, so vulnerable like that; it was almost hard to believe he had been programmed to act that way. Ichigo dropped his gaze and avoided all eye contact as he tried to console himself that that was what this all was – a program, and a working robot carrying out its functions. Still, why did they have to make him so human-like?

"Sorry." Ichigo muttered as he half-turned toward his Humanoid, still avoiding his gaze. "Come on. Let's look for the Occult section together, okay?"

Grimmjow muttered his assent and followed after him, the sad look leaving his face, to be replaced with a blank expression.

"Help me look for Occult Sciences." Ichigo said to him. "Or better yet, just Renji. Flaming red hair in a ponytail or bandanna, permanent excitement written all over his face."

Grimmjow's eyes roved the library, scanning through the shelves with his almost x-ray like vision. "Thirteen shelves down, fifth row, to the right corner."

Ichigo stared at him incredulously. "Are you serious?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Grimmjow tilted his head to the side.

Renji was found leaning against a shelf, sleeping with his mouth open as he nonchalantly ignored the pained creaking of the light shelf supporting his weight. Ichigo deflated again at the sight of his best friend vandalizing school property with his drool flooding several book pages.

"Wake up!" He punched Renji in the gut. "What is your problem? Couldn't you have asked me to meet you somewhere easier, like the courtyard or cafeteria? Even the gym bleachers wouldn't be half bad!"

Coughing as he doubled over, Renji wiped the drool off with the sleeve of his black hoodie. Grunting as he staggered backwards, he lifted one foot and kicked his rambling orange haired friend in the side. As Ichigo clutched his stomach in pain, Grimmjow stepped forward, a look of menacing hostility clearly splashed on his face.

"Don't touch Ichigo." He growled out, swinging one fist out with lightning speed.

A hand stopped him just before he could goal his fist into Renji's jaw. Brown hair and steel gray eyes came into view and a low, deep voice spoke in a lazy drawl.

"Don't touch Renji."

There was a moment of awkward silence, coupled with aggressive tension rolling off Grimmjow in tangible waves. The other person stood between Ichigo's Humanoid and Renji, wearing a look of quiet calm and a white fur coat.

"He's mine!" Grimmjow snarled, baring his teeth in the most feral-like way.

"I could say the same for Renji." The brunette decked in the fur coat turned away to yawn into the bookshelf. "Do you wish to fight me?"

Quickly, the redhead stepped in to ease off both males. "Okay, time out. No fighting, you hear me? Stark, this is Ichigo, I think you guys may have met before, but I doubt Ichigo realizes due to a certain memory shortage in his brain."

Ichigo reached out and smacked Renji on the side of the head. "Shut up. Meet Grimmjow. He's uh, usually not this aggressive."

"Relax, Ichigo." Renji chuckled as Stark held onto his shoulders with a worried look. "Stark's my Huma-Com. I got him about a year ago, but this is his first time in N-U with me."

"Nice." Ichigo grinned, prying Grimmjow's fingers from Stark's fur coat. "Stop that, Grimmjow. These guys are good. Okay? No fighting."

"Possessive, isn't he?" Renji let out a low whistle. "Though when you said you were gonna get a Huma-Com, I thought you mentioned something about a female."

Ichigo blew out his cheeks exasperatedly. "Yeah, that's what I thought I ordered, too. But he just came by delivery yesterday, and I just went ahead with the ownership rights. I figured living with a male autobot seems way better than a female one. Less um, hassle and stuff."

Renji raised an eyebrow quizzically. "Dude, they're machinery. Smart machinery, but metal, plastic and computer programs nonetheless. Everyone does it. No hassle at all."

"Easy for you to say." Ichigo smirked at his friend. "I don't think I could bring myself to buy girl clothing if I had a female Humanoid. With Grimmjow, everything's a whole lot easier."

"Videos." Grimmjow reminded quietly, flicking his blue-eyed gaze from Renji to Ichigo. "Romance dramas."

"Right!" Ichigo punched him lightly on the arm. "You're amazing."

Handing Renji a large plastic bag filled with his dramas, Ichigo continued to tell his friend about the day's procedures. Meanwhile, Grimmjow watched Stark with an unfriendly stare. The brunette stepped up toward him and stuck out a hand.

"Stark."

After a moment, Grimmjow shook his hand. "Grimmjow."

"You have a unique name."

"I could say the same for you."

Gray eyes narrowed as Stark checked the other Humanoid out. "You seem new."

"No less amateurish than you."

"Must you challenge everything?"

Grimmjow smirked that infuriating smirk. "Maybe."

To his surprise, Stark smiled back. "You're certainly interesting."

x

"Status report on all Nitroids." Pushing back a lock of stray hair from his face, Szayel waved a clipboard full of notes and diagrams at his boss.

Aizen leaned back in his leather office chair, enjoying the feel of one of his many Huma-Coms massaging his shoulders. "Proceed."

Szayel crossed his legs on the elegant tan leather couch before Aizen, smirking impishly. "Nitroid One; GR1MMJ0W has found a male master by the name of Kurosaki Ichigo. Brain readings state he is in the process of learning anything and everything. Think in terms of a large, highly absorbent sponge that never tires. We recently discovered a surprising spike in his hormone level. His owner must be exposing him to a lot of things very quickly. Truly, your creations are works of brilliance, sir."

Aizen accepted the compliment with a gracious smile. "And what of the rest?"

"Nitroid Two; NN01TR4 is currently being fully monitored by me. I am setting him up with the best of Genius Android software, and testing his programming security with malware probes and viruses. Should he be able to withstand all of the strongest viruses you have created, sir – suffice to say he will prove to be the crème de la crème of all Nitroids."

Nodding with satisfaction, Aizen waved two fingers for his assistant to continue.

"Nitroid Three; BY4KUY4 has recently been ordered by a female under the name of Sawada, but has been wrapped in a gift box, presumably for someone else. Full ownership will be traced later on when he has been activated. Nitroid Four; H4L1B3Lhas not been purchased as of yet. We will be informed if anyone orders her. Nitroid Five; T05H1R0 has been purchased by a male owner barely two hours ago. Owner goes by the name of Cavallone Dino, a rare name in Japan, though sources say he may be Italian. That is all we were able to find out. We have received signs he has been activated and is now in the learning process. Further monitoring shall commence under Hisagi-san's supervision."

Szayel paused to take a sip from the floating glass of sparkling water beside him. "Nitroid Six; K1R4, has been ordered by a male owner, Orihara Izaya, an infamous informant residing in Ikebukuro. However, status shows he has not been activated as of yet. Perhaps he will be by tonight, give or take the time his owner gets him back home. Lastly, Nitroid Seven; ULQU10RR4, has been purchased by a notorious member of the yakuza, Hibari Kyouya."

Aizen frowned. "Yakuza, hm."

"Should any concerning matters pertain to any number of our Nitroids, we will be informed immediately via their alarm systems. Shall we proceed with the setting up of watchtowers, sir?"

Taking a long drink from his glass of red wine, Aizen touched the hand of his Humanoid lightly so it ceased massaging, and took his glass away for a refill. "Find any intel you can on all of my Nitroids' owners. If possible, in full. Continue with the monitoring, Szayel. Thank you, that will be all."

As his pink haired laboratory assistant skipped away gleefully, Aizen sank back into his chair with a growing smile of eerie triumph sculpting his lips.

Nitroid Productions would expand under his administration and command. He would oversee everything personally, and gauge reactions from the human owners of his seven Nitroids, the special Humanoids sent out into the mass public. Should the responses be positive, he would rule over everything – schools, electronics, communication – and grow in power. The world would bow on its knees for him, Sosuke Aizen, and the one country he would start with would be his own: Japan.

x

"So how did you find Renji?" Ichigo asked Grimmjow as they made their way into the subway station.

"Laser search." Grimmjow replied truthfully.

Ichigo stared. "No, I meant, like how do you like my best friend, but yeah, that's pretty cool too."

"Oh." Grimmjow replied simply, and ran a hand through his blue hair the way he's seen Ichigo do it. "He is cool."

Somehow hearing the modern word spill from his Humanoid's mouth made Ichigo crack up. He continued chuckling even as they boarded the train.

"What is so funny?"

"You!" Ichigo laughed. "The way you say stuff; it's cute. And unique. Nothing wrong with it, but still, no one would expect to hear you talk like that. Like you were pulled out of one of Renji's shows."

"Romance dramas." Grimmjow corrected sternly, then smiled. "Then maybe you could teach me, Ichigo."

Several women nearby and a bunch of schoolgirls swooned under the dazzling beam of the blue haired Humanoid. Ichigo himself had to blink a few times to get rid of the stars in his eyes. Grimmjow rarely smiled, but when he did, he looked gorgeous, genuine.

"I – I guess I could, sure." Ichigo nodded and looked away with a light blush tinting his cheeks. "Who else better to learn from but your owner, right?"

"Right." Grimmjow did the smile again as the train slowed down at their stop. "You're the best, Ichigo."

Meeting Grimmjow's earnest blue eyed gaze, Ichigo couldn't resist smiling back. Who knew Huma-Coms could be so realistic? He certainly hadn't. Standing up, he staggered and lost his balance as their ride lurched to a halt. He pitched forward, dropping a few books from his backpack. Strong hands steadied his shoulders, and a warm mouth met his by accident.

Eyes widening, Ichigo tried to place his hands on Grimmjow's chest to push him away, but a feeling of calm warmness flooded all of his senses, sending him into a sedate mode. He felt like he'd been hit by a tranquilizer dart. Grimmjow coaxed his lips apart easily with his tongue, and delved into the warm cavern of Ichigo's mouth.

The train doors eased to a close behind them, but went unnoticed as both humanoid and owner continued to stay caught in lip lock.

There was no rush. After all, it would be a long ride till they would get back to their destination.

x

Cliché! I don't like this chapter. But on the bright side, Byakuya's a Humanoid!