So this is definitely a longer chapter. I love all the reviews! They keep me going. I hope you guys like this chapter too!
"She's got the data!" Kaidan calls as I immediately pull my gun, ready for a fight with Cerberus's recruit. But when she doesn't immediately fire I find myself running after her, desperate for the dire information.
"She's faster than she looks!" Liara warns as I round the corner. I can feel both of them on my heels also struggling to keep up.
"Stay close! We can't lose her!" I call over my shoulder, but don't slow my pace.
A chase around a base I was unfamiliar with was something I could honestly say I had never done before, but before I knew it I was on pursuit. Dr. Eva was fast, beyond fast, she was unnaturally fast. She turns around and opens fire on me again, and I barely have time to duck as I hear a ship fly overhead. Liara calls to me, but I'm too focused to hear.
She keeps pulling further ahead as I tire from jumping over objects and the continous sprinting. My options are running low. "James, you read me?" I call out as I try to increase my speed. There's no time to wait for a reply. "Cerberus has the data!"
Another box to jump over, I can no long even see Kaidan and Liara behind me. The radio transmission breaks up but I continue with demands. "Radio the Normandy! Get them down here now!"
The moment the doors open my heart skips a beat. This can't be over. Cerberus can't win! Those plans are the universe's last hope against the reapers and I have to have them! As she jumps in I open fire, praying for the right shot, but as the ship raises, I lower my gun.
"Damnit! James! Normandy! Anybody!" I cry needing this last shot.
A blue light shines from the sky and I hear the nearly cocky sound of James's voice come over the radio. "I got this one!" The blue ship closes in. I expect him to open fire, but no, instead he slams it into the other sending the ship right at the three of us on the ground.
All three of us dive out of the way as flames erupt. Immediately I get to my feet and offer a hand to Kaidan who waves it off. Instead I wave James down and wait for him to land. As the ship ungracefully scrapes against the ground I groan aloud. Slowly he is working his way to my bad side.
He hops out of the ship as though nothing has happened. "Normandy's in route. They'll be here soon."
It takes all I can to just nod at his coolness. Liara's muffled voice barely reaches my ear before I hear metal slam against metal. The moment I hear shots fire, I break into a run to the other side of the ship, my gun ready. As I round the corner I see Kaidan being picked up with one hand by his face mask by a whole new looking Dr. Eva. Her skin silver and her eyes a horrifying glowing blue.
"Kaidan!" I immediately gasp without thinking. My finger itches at the trigger as I lock my target on her. "Let him go!" I demand.
She seems unfazed by the guns pointed at her or even the stress of holding a man's wait. She reaches to hear ear and turns her head away. "Orders?" she asked calmly.
My body is frozen as she nods and suddenly spins around. She pulls back her arm and I gasp. "No!" Over and over again she slams Kaidan's head into the outer part of the ship. I want to fire but I can't; I could hit Kaidan. The moment she turns around though, I open fire.
Over and over again I shoot, but she keeps running at me. My clip is nearly empty but finally she falls at me feet, dead. I stare at her for a moment, wanting to unload the rest of my clip into her body for petty revenge. But my need to get to Kaidan forces my feet to sprint to his side, barely making time to tell James to grab the doctor's body.
My knees hit the ground beside Kaidan as I turn him over. It was moments like these I knew I couldn't speak. The damn radios would tell everyone the secrets and depths of my weakness. Instead, my hand slides into his and squeeze.
Come on, Kaidan…
"Shepard, we've got signature in orbit," Joker calls over the radio pulling me back into the mission.
With a mixture of luck and skill I maneuver Kaidan onto my shoulders and follow Liara and James into the ship. The entire time telling myself this isn't how this is supposed to end. No, we were supposed to retire and grow old and tell war stories, either that or die together fighting the war against the reapers. Yes, I remembered Horizon, but I also remember fighting Saren together and the first time he held me in his arms. If the roles were reversed and Kaidan had been working with Cerberus, I'm not sure I wouldn't have reacted similarly.
*Normandy*
The moment the elevator doors open I see Carter standing in the mess hall with wide eyes. Granted I did have a very hurt Kaidan balanced on my shoulders while James carried in a dead woman who was looking a little on the crispy side.
I hurried into the medical bay and laid Kaidan on a table as gently as possible. My entire body was trembling with emotion and exhaustion as I clutched the table and squeezed my eyes shut, pushing away the tears.
Liara leans towards me on the opposite side of the table. She's known me for years. She knows the history, she knows I need help.
"Kaidan need medical attention," she says as commanding as I have ever heard her, but I can't force a reply. All I can manage is to shift my weight and look down at him as tears begin to get hard to keep away. Liara tries to gain my eye contact but I can't look away from him, I can't lose him. "We have to leave the Sol system."
"I know." I can hear my voice crack, but I hope nobody else does.
Liara tries again. "The Citadel is our best chance. We can find help there."
I nod. "Get us to the Citadel Joker."
"Rodger that."
A small voice catches me off guard. "He's going to be okay right?"
I turn around to see Carter standing only a couple steps back from me looking at Kaidan with frightened eyes. The innocence in his voice makes my first tear escape. The only one that even sees is Liara though.
"James, go tell Joker to be sure medical aid will there upon arrival," Liara said calmly.
Without argument, he exited the medical bay. Liara came over next to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. "You are a being with feelings, even the first human spectre is allowed to have emotion."
The kindest words I had heard in years were ones telling me that it's okay to be human by a nonhuman. Another tear slipped through my guard, but I silently swore that would be the last one. Even if it was alright to have emotion, didn't mean I wanted it. Commander Shepard didn't cry.
"Jane?" Carter slipped in beside me and look up with those beautiful eyes. "Kaidan's going to be okay."
It didn't sound like a question this time. And for that I thanked him.
I nodded at him and looked back at Kaidan's already bruised face. "He's tough. One of the toughest."
Liara knelt down and looked Carter in the eye. "A child's prayers are said to heal, child. Will you pray with us?"
Carter stared at her for a moment as I realized this was probably his first contact with aliens and she was kneeling in front of him asking him to pray with her. He looked up to me for help. I merely nodded my head and closed my eyes as my fingers entwine with Kaidan's. Granted I'm not sure if Liara knew that I knew asari's religion included the acceptance of death and praying for life wasn't something practiced. It was kind of her to try and relate to the little boy's culture and help him.
It was kind of her to relate to my own culture and help me out.
"Would you like to pray out loud?" Liara asked Carter as he took my free hand.
He nodded and closed his eyes tight. "God, please take care of Mr. Kaidan. He's been hurt and Jane's really scared. Please help all the people back on Earth and help them get away from the scary red light. And thank you for helping Jane find me." My eye pop open and I look over to the little boy who still seemed to be in deep concentration. "I was scared. Since my mom and dad are in heaven with you, are you giving me a new mom and dad?"
The rest of his prayer was cut short by Edi's voice echoing over the ship. "Commander, I'm receiving a signal over the secondary QEC. I believe it's Admiral Hackett."
I groan aloud and look over at Liara. "Stay with Kaidan, will you?"
Liara nodded, but Carter was on my heels as I nearly sprinted around the ship. As I approached the image was static and barely audible. I slowed my pace. "Edi, can you clear this up?"
"I'll do my best commander."
The feed improved, but just barily. Carter stayed close behind me, watching the feed carefully. The Admiral seemed completely uncaring about the child behind me, he was focused on our main priority: the archives.
"Did you get the archives?" he asked urgently.
"I was there, and so was the illusive man," I reply matter-of-factly sure that this wasn't going to be a good conversation, but then again it rarely was with the admiral.
He seemed to take great interest, his hand going to his chin as he considered this for a moment. "I was worried he might try something," he said almost to himself before looking back up at me. "Did you get the data?"
"Most of it. He downloaded some before I could stop him. I'm going to have Liara and Edi work together on it."
Carter began to get braver and peek around my hips to get a better look at the holographic man before us, but I put one hand out to be sure he kept enough distance.
Admiral Hackett nodded. "Have you learned anything yet?"
Liara appeared around the corner first turning her attention to the admiral and then to me. "James is with Kaidan." I nodded in reply before she turned back to the admiral. "From what I have seen of it so far is that it's the blueprint for some sort of Prothean device."
This information surprised all of us. "Device?"
Liara turns on her codex and an image of a circular object appears infront of us. "A weapon, massive in size and scope, that's capable of unquantifiable levels of destruction."
I expect this to please Hackett, but for some reason it didn't. "Send me the data, we'll do our own analysis. If you're correct this may be the key to stopping the reapers."
Liara nodded and disappeared out of the room. "I hope you're correct." I glanced toward the door. "Major Alenko was critically injured. We're taking him to the Citadel."
"I'm sorry to hear that Shepard, but we both know it's just the beginning." For the first time since the conversation started the admiral noticed Carter peeking around my waist. "And who is this?"
Though the phrase is most commonly said with near affection when said to a child, this was not. It bordered on annoyance. Immediately I got defensive and placed a hand on Carter's shoulder pulling him into my side. Instantly he warms to me and keeps to my side.
"He was on Earth when the reapers attacked. I ran into him on the way to the Normandy," I explain, half expecting a scolding or a lecture of how a military ship is not a place for kids. But instead I heard the most irritating words I have ever been forced to hear.
"This is not a time for a personal life, Shepard," he said simply, with a tone that said I should know better than to even try to live a little.
My fury burned inside me. How dare he? How dare he tell me I can't have a life to live? I did not belong to him, I had my own mind, my own body, and I have risked it all for this galaxy more than once.
"With all due respect," the phrase that you always say to your authority when meaning 'you selfish bastard', "I believe that if I have an urge to have a social life, I deserve one." He opened his mouth to speak but I quickly added. "Don't fight me on this, I rarely lose."
His mouth snapped into a thin, disapproving line. "Talk to the council and show them what you've found." He reached down to end the feed, but looked back up again to add. "Try to not bring anymore strays home." The hologram disappears.
Part of me wants to summon him back just to let him have a piece of my mind, but somehow I resist. Probably because the main thing that has gotten me this far is maintaining self control. People rarely see how short tempered I truly am, mostly because I can bite my tongue and take it. I find this as a curse and a blessing, mostly because of the age I'm already feeling from the weight of the world on my shoulder.
Another realization hit me. Was it fair to drag a kid into this life? A life filled with violence, death, and pain. I remember living on ships as a child, but it was the only thing I ever knew. I had never even been to Earth until I joined the Alliance. I never had that normal childhood. Carter had no chance of regaining his Earth home, but dragging him into the military life wasn't exactly fair either.
"He's not very friendly is he?" Carter asked sounding a little angry as well, but he most likely only was angry because he sensed my anger.
I couldn't help but agree. Hackett never was my favorite person, but now he was working his way to my shit list.
"Jane, is the council going to make Kaidan better? The kids at school say the council has magic powers. Do they really?"
Immediately his question brought a smile to my face. I loved how children implicated leadership. I remember thinking something similar when I was young. These people who wore funny clothing reminded me of creature in story books and their authority and influence meant they must have been magical.
Yet somewhere along the way I realized that ruling with a big stick only meant you had a big stick. Some people are afraid of it, some people challenge it, and some people try and take it away. I had seen it all with the council. As you make your way up the food chain you realize how irritating that big stick can be. They are suppose to be leading us, granted every decision is blinded by the unknown, but the reason you have that stick to check to see if the path is clear. As a being I knew I was suppose to respect the council, which I did, but as a leader I hoped they remembered that trillions were in there hands.
Suddenly I stopped and looked down at Carter. This boy was as much of the future as I was. He was so young and yet so important.
"Carter?" I asked, forgetting his question.
The little boy looked up at me curiously.
"I want you to be strong okay? I know a lot of scary things are coming and more people will get hurt and worse, but you have to be strong okay?" I kneel in front of him, a sign of importance and respect. I didn't want him to have to look up at me, I needed him to understand that at this moment we were equals, that I had no influence on his decision. "Carter, if you stay with me on this ship you may have to go through some things that you won't like. Scary things and sad things and sometime just bad things."
I sighed and looked away for a second searching for the right way to say this. "Carter, if you would rather live with a family on the Citadel, I'm sure I can arrange that."
I studied him in an attempt to read his emotions, but all I received was a mixture of fear, hurt, and sadness flash through his eyes. "You don't want me to stay here?"
The question caught me off guard. I wasn't used to having to spell out my emotions, but children don't always here the unsaid feelings buried in words.
I take one of his hands and give him a half hearted smile. "Of course I want you to stay, but I don't want you to be sad if you stay. Living on a ship isn't that great of a life. I'd know."
Again I searched his face, hoping he'd understand.
Finally he wrapped his arms around my neck and held on tight. "I wanna stay. I really wanna stay. Don't make me go. I'll be good, I swear. I'll listen and I behave, just don't make me leave."
I held onto him tight, as though someone really trying to take him away. "I won't, I swear."
Carter, at that moment became my family. I woke up this morning on Earth without my title and with security at my door. But as the day ends, I end it as Commander Shepard of the Normandy, a spectre, a friend, and a mother. My life changed in an instant and I was ready to accept the change while there was still a life to live.
So what did you think? Please let me know! Review please! Love always, Marilynn