THANKS FOR OVER 2000 VIEWZ GAIZ EVEN THOUGH YOU PROBABLY HATE MY BY NOW SO YEAH THANKS ANYWAY
Forgive me if the chapter is a little rough. Most of the editing took place very late at night and I didn't have an editor for the last half of the story (except my editors never really change anything in my stories so…..) tell me if I made a stupid mistake of some sort. ^^; That would be greatly appreciated.
Romeo and Cinderella
Chapter 10: I am my Own Worst Enemy
The Shions left shortly after my "episode" on the balcony. Kaito faked feeling sick, forcing the family home. I guessed he wasn't that bad of a guy after all, but I didn't feel I could give my heart to him, or what was left of it, that is.
I had dinner in my room that night, rocking the sleeping gown look as I sat around and stared at blank walls. This didn't bother me, though. I always enjoyed time to think by myself, especially with such conflicting emotions crashing in a miniature war inside my stomach.
So I continued to blankly stare at my blank walls and even hummed a little tune to myself. It was only when I heard the harmonies that I realized the walls were staring back.
One look into her eyes and everything flooded back to me. Her scarred face, her slashed arms, her lonely Voice, her sterling blue eyes looking at me through glass.
I suddenly wasn't as confused as to why I was hurt in the morning. A realization like that should be a good thing, right? Yes. Of course. Lack of confusion was something one strove for. So why did I want to forget it all again?
"Rin, why did you stop? I want to sing with you. Teach me to sing as prettily as you, Rin," Lily whined. The broken girl stood just a few footsteps away from me. She looked like an old porcelain doll that had cracked over years of careless play, then been abandoned in a corner, forgetting what love felt like though it had been poured into her all through life. "I always loved your voice, Rin." The pitiful thing stepped toward me and gently caressed my neck with icy fingertips. "Please, will you share your voice with me?" Her cold fingers tightened around my trachea, nails digging into my skin.
I couldn't breathe. Even with her hand off of my throat, I felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. The corners of my vision began to darken.
"It'll only last for a second," she whispered bitterly into my ear. "I promise."
The sound of an opening window pulled me away. Lily, the suffocation, her Voice, they were all gone. I took in a huge gasp of air and looked toward the window with no sense of fear. Anything would have been better than Hell. Robbery? Murder? Rape? I'm all for it. Bring on the man slaughter.
To my relief—I guess—there were no robbing-psychotic-rapists at my window. Rather, it was a familiar head of blonde hair and pair of sea-green eyes.
"Rin? What are you doing sitting in the dark?" Len asked me. Was it dark? I was sure I'd had a lantern lit earlier. It was barely sundown, right? I looked past the man in my window and saw the waning figure of a moon floating drearily above his head. I turned my attention back on Len. His eyes held my gaze for a moment before he let himself inside, not bothering to close the window behind him.
He sat next to me on my bed and moved the hair from my face. He tilted his head as he looked at my neck, touching a spot in the middle of my throat then licking the dark liquid from his finger as if trying to identify it without light to prove him wrong.
"Rin, why is there blood on your neck?" I couldn't say I knew exactly what he'd just asked me. At that moment I couldn't think clearly. But my eyes never left his face. There were only two thoughts going through my head.
One: Len had just broken into my house again with no logical reason other than just coming to see me.
Two: Lily was gone.
Lily was gone.
Oh my God she left. I had to remember what just happened! I couldn't let myself forget again. I hastily got up and sought out a pen and ink. I found the objects on my bedside table (where they always were) and scribbled down the word Lilyon a flat surface. I didn't exactly care what I wrote it on at the time—I think it was actually some ribbon I had worn a few days previous—whatever it was worked.
"Rin? What are you…?" Len began but trailed off. I turned around wide-eyed and tackled him into a hug, causing him to fall backwards onto my bed. "You're beginning to worry me, Rin," he huffed from underneath my weight. An indescribable sensation poured over me in that moment. I felt myself smiling into Len's chest. I felt safe there. He could protect me. "Are you okay?" I'm perfectly okay. I'm better than okay. Dare I say it, I was happy. And maybe even more than that.
"Kiss me."
I could see Len's leer in the pale moonlight before complying with my request then, after a generous amount of face-eating (what can I say? I didn't have enough dinner), we parted to catch our breath.
"So what was that all about earlier?" Len panted.
"I just realized something," I replied. "Len Kagamine, I think I just might like you."
"Is that so?"
"It's certainly a possibility."
More like I had fallen hard and hit rock bottom. I would let him screw me over if that would fill his sweet little heart with content.
And he was using me like a slender-handled gardening implement.
.
I woke up about half an hour before the sun. The barely legible clock next to my side read five thirty-two in the morning. Happy to be able to sleep more, I let out a gusty sigh and nearly rolled on top of Len. A pulse of alarm shot through me and I looked down under the comforter to see that my clothes were still on. I sighed again, this time with relief. Memories of time only a few hours ago flooded back to me. I hadn't done anything I'd regret, just a bit of interesting touching a girl like me wasn't exactly used to. I turned my attention to staring at Len until he woke up. It was a technique that usually worked when Luka did it to me, so why not Len, too?
Well it didn't work because he was awake already, but it was worth a try.
"You moan in your sleep," he said. How that related to anything, I did not know. "It sounds sad."
Perhaps that was because I'd been suffering from chronic depression ever since my seven-year-old sister died six months ago… No, that couldn't be it. In what world did that make people sad? Certainly not this one. No sir. I might as well be dancing in the streets.
I took another moment before saying something myself, though it didn't relate to Len's statement. "You should leave—before my maids find you."
He stared at me for a minute; his eyes narrowed like he was interpreting what I said, or was it what I didn't say that had him pondering? "I guess I should," Len determined. "Wouldn't want you getting in trouble or anything." He started to get up, but I held on to his arm before he could make it out of bed.
"Wait." He looked at me, slightly confused. "Promise me."
"Promise you what?"
"That you'll come back again tonight."
Len smirked at me for a moment then kissed me tenderly on the lips. "I promise."
I smiled in the pale moonlight and freed his arm. He picked up his shirt, discarded carelessly on the floor—how it got there I do not know—then left the same way he arrived.
It was odd. I was sure he'd left the window open when he came in.
.
"I presume you and Len had fun last night," Luka said, waking me up around two hours after I'd bid my farewells to Len. "Not too much fun, I hope," she continued teasingly.
"Luka! How did you…" I trailed off. When didn't Luka know what was going on? It was somewhat odd at times. But it's one of those things that one got over in a few days' time.
"You are aware he's using you, Rin, right?" she queried without explaining herself or anything convenient like that.
I half-grimaced. "Yeah, I know. But…"
"But what? Do you think you love him?" she pried.
"I do love him! I really do. He comes and all of my worries go away. So I don't care if he's using me because…" I trailed off, not really sure what I was trying to say.
"He completes you? He heals you? He stops you from thinking of the bad things in life?"
"Yeah. He does… just that. How do you know these things?"
Luka laughed a little to herself, tilting her head down. "You're exactly like every other girl, Rin. You may not realize it, but you have more in common with the common maid than you know." She stared back up into my eyes, more serious than before. "You know what you're doing? You're using him to hide."
"Hide! What do I have to hide from?" I almost shouted.
"Let's see… Your duties, your marriage, your memories. You are using him to hide. Tell me, Rin. What is it that you're running from? Is it your parents? Is it Kaito? Or maybe it's Lily."
I felt a tear fall down my face. I stared past Luka's eyes. I was sure she was still looking sternly into my soul. Was I really so transparent? Or maybe she had just known me for too long.
"Rin, you're really tormenting yourself. I don't like watching you fall, lower and lower each day." She stopped to think for a moment. "I just hope that you can figure out what you need to do before someone else decides for you."
"Is that a threat?" I whispered, still not meeting her eyes.
"No, Rin. It's a black vow."
.
The evening came faster than usual, or maybe time had dragged on. Perhaps my mind had been buzzing more throughout the day, making me lose all concept of time. I'd been pretty confused lately. The last thing I wanted to do was make a rational decision or do something productive or "adult" of the sort. There was no way I could ever grow up, I decided; I never learned how.
Nevertheless, all I could do was think about how I didn't want to think or become an adult or anything. It would be so convenient for some distraction to magically come by and pull me away from the word. No decisions, no commitments, no worries.
That was around the time the window opened. The feeling that fell over me at the sound could be described the same way a smoker feels when they inhale the char of tobacco. I instantly relaxed, knowing that around him I had no obligations. The world could work for me like it always had. I didn't have to make choices about trivial matters, like manners or tones of voice or being the most perfect, beautiful lady I could be.
If that's not love, I don't know what is. Of course, I didn't know that I had ever even felt love before. But at least I felt something around him.
"Hey," he said with a glint in his eye. "You called?"
My face relaxed into an expression of ease and maybe a touch of mischief. "So glad you answered." Len let himself in, remembering to close the window this time, then walked over to me, looking at me expectantly before closing the space and resting his chin on my head with his arms loosely hung on my waist.
"You feeling better?" he asked.
"Now that you're here."
He chuckled and held me closer. "Wanna talk?"
I moaned a bit at the idea and rested my head on his chest. "I don't want to think at all. It's been a long day."
"It has, hasn't it?"
"So long…" I savored the moment just a second longer. "Hey." I released myself from his grasp and looked up at his lovely, sea green eyes. "Come on. I want to take you somewhere." I grabbed Len's hand and started to drag him, quietly, through the dark halls.
"Where are we going?" he inquired, matching his pace to mine so no suspicious noise was made.
"You'll see."
I took him through a maze of hallways that led to my favorite swirling staircase to my favorite room. The glass in the tower seemed not to exist in this reality. I felt as if the room were magically floating above everything else. The faint moonlight made weak streaks of light on the tile from behind an airy layer of clouds. Something about the feel of this tower… It was like a dream—a very sweet dream. I still had yet to make a bad memory in this place. It was like my slice of heaven. It never got completely dark in there, and you never got scared. It was its own little world that one would simply observe the outside from. It wasn't connected.
"What is this place?" Len whispered, as if raising his voice could break it.
"My room," I stated, walking toward the middle of the space. My bare feet made soft pats on the tile as I walked. My feet weren't cold. The air of the tower didn't match that of the outside. The glass seemed to magnify the sunlight in the winter, keeping the room from freezing, but it was still cool in the summer. I found myself stepping further to one of the glass panes next to the mahogany desk. I placed a hand on the glass. It was so smooth that my hand was back at my side in a moment, not even a print left on the perfect surface. I felt Len follow me a few moments after then grab me by the waist. He kissed my neck and started to slide the shoulders of my dress down, though it wasn't like he could get very far— the dress was quite tight for I hadn't gotten around to getting into a more comfortable garment by the end of the day.
I stopped him anyway. "Slow down, Len," I giggled. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Trying to make you feel good," he breathed, "and it was much easier in that nightgown you had on last night. What happened to that? It's so hard to touch you now."
I felt heat rush to my face. I thanked the darkness so Len wouldn't see.
"Your heart is beating fast. Are you nervous?" he purred into my ear. I felt my face heat up more. One of Len's hands was pressed over my heart and the other rested on my shoulder pressing little circles in my collarbone in an awkwardly pleasant massaging movement. "I know; let's play a game."
"Game?" I choked out, then immediately cleared my throat. "What kind of game?" I asked much more clearly, managing to control the stutter.
Rather than act like a sensible human being and tell me of what game he was speaking, Len lead me from behind and placed me in a sitting position on the wide mahogany desk. I supported myself from behind with both arms so I wouldn't fall backwards and accidentally kick Len in the face.
"You just relax and I'll do all the work, m'kay?" he said. I stared at him skeptically before nodding. He smirked. "I'll put my hand on your leg and you tell me when you get nervous. It's easy."
"What's this game called, anyway?" I inquired suspiciously.
"The Nervous Game." Creative title.
"Okay…"
He reached down and grabbed the base of my leg right above my ankle.
"Are you nervous yet?"
Nervous didn't even begin to cover it. "No," I lied.
He slid his hand halfway up my calf. "How about now?"
"No..." Then he just totally cheated and moved his hand halfway up my thigh, making me jump forward and land up close and personal with Len's face. "Okay maybe just a little bit."
This is the part where Len and I kiss for the rest of the night until I'm so exhausted I fall asleep in his arms then wake up in an empty bed. A bit of disappointment washed over me at the sight, or lack thereof, rather, until a spotted a note on the table next to the head of my bed. There were three words beautifully scripted onto it, boasting obvious training in penmanship.
"You're mine tonight."
What it meant? I could only begin to imagine.
.
Author's Note: I bet you all hate me now. How long has it been? A month? Yeah that's what I thought. Well other than my severe case of writer's block (which I'm sure none of you take as a good excuse) I also ended up having to write ALL of this chapter rather than rearranging and editing as I've done so long before. I still have a lot of relationships to straighten out and whatnot, as if you didn't guess that before. But you forgive me cuz of my little makeout scene at the end, yes? Though it was kind of a short chapter….
Hopefully the change of pace is interesting for you guys (that have read before AND my newbies~ … I have newbies right?), with little twists and turns and creepy little dead sisters. I should try to write in some humor here and there. It's weird. I'm usually a comedy writer and here I am with my romantic tragedy just singin' la~dee~da~. That sounds kinda like a song. NEW DECISION I will write this song and make a hit single and become rich and then publish these stupid books (actually I like them so…..) And become a college professor of visual arts in Australia and have a big house and two kids and then learn how to surf.
Anyway, aside from my hopes and dreams, I'd like to know how you interpret the characters I have! :DD Who's your favorite, who do you not like, what do you see in whoever, that kind of thing. ^^
Okay. I'm going to be monomaniacal and aim for 77 reviewsbefore the next update. I don't think I'll have to write every bit of next—wait… yeah I think I have to write all of next chapter… So I'll try to be fast if you guys try to review, kay? :DD
Replies to Anonymous:
VocaDancer: I love this story! It's not going to end for a while~~ I'm thinking over ten more chapters.
I'm glad you felt something at all. I was going for emotion but I can never tell if I'm actually making anyone feel anything.
Chapter is finally here! TT~TT It took so long. DX I don't even have a good excuse except two dances over the weekends, Halloween, and homework.
: Account or no account thanks so much for bothering to review!
MY GOAL IS TO MAKE YOU CRY! Lol jk but really. Glad you felt something at all! I feared I didn't have that emotional aspect that I really needed. Sorry for being so late!
IceCreamOtaku: Lolz. A review is a review. I'm not that picky. XD
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! And especially the cookie~~
kakonoyume: (isn't everyone? XD) I like this version better as well~~ Isn't that terrible? XD I wish that tower were real. It always seems like a dream whenever I describe it. I really want to go there sometime…
Really sorry I was so late! T~T I feel awful. I really hope I can get a new chapter up sooner next time. But thanks for reviewing anyway~~
(long note is long)