Beyond Grim And Evil Installment 2: Return To Bunny Island

Beyond Grim And Evil: Return To Bunny Island

Present Day

Skarr sat in his chair sipping tea and gazing at the fireplace, a content smile on his face. Ever since his bout with Underfist, he had just wanted to settle down quietly and enjoy his retirement. Then the domino effect had been put into play, and he'd found himself sucked into another power struggle melee. However, that was all said and done. Right now nothing could get him out of this chair. He frowned at a picture above the fire. Evil Con Carne; he, Hector, Boskov, Stomach, and Ghastly. Once again the dream he'd had last night returned in vivid detail, and he raised an eyebrow. He wondered how they were doing, now that Mandy owned Bunny Island, they'd been bought out, and since their latest failure of an attack on Endsville. He wondered what evil scheme, if any, Hector had concocted once again…

No, stop it General. You're retired. No use looking back on that life. Live in the present. Still, he did miss the old place, his old room, his pigeons… No, enough! This would not be a repeat of his first arrival here. Besides, his house was perfect. His garden was the best on the block. Granted, his neighbours left something to be desired, but still. He liked Endsville, enough. Besides, now he knew there were at least three others out there like him. An icy dangerous smirk crossed his face for a moment.

He sighed in contentment and went to take another sip of his tea shrugging off the dream and thoughts of his old life, when just then the all too annoyingly familiar voice of a certain neighbour brat of his exclaimed, "Hi Mr. Skarr!"

GAoBaM

Skarr spat out the tea in horror and coughed, choking. Gathering himself he looked beside him, and instantly his eyes hardened murderously. "Billy," he greeted the boy who was crouching next to his chair.

"Whatcha doin'?" Billy questioned, standing up.

"None of your business!" Skarr bit. All at once all his reasons for hating Endsville were coming back in full force.

"Aw, come on," Billy whined.

"If you must know, I'm drinking tea and listening to music," Skarr retorted, annoyed. "Now leave."

"Okay, but I've gotta tell ya, your rose bushes are getting a little wild," Billy remarked.

"My… how would you know?" Skarr demanded, anger in his eyes.

"Well how else would I know? I had to use them," Billy replied.

"You what!" Skarr veritably shrieked.

"I have the scratches to prove it. Wanna see?" Billy asked.

"You little fiend!" Skarr exclaimed, leaping up and seizing his rapier from an umbrella chute. Billy gasped in fear and stared at the rapier. "Get out of my house, get off of my property, and if you come within a hundred feet of my yard again, so help me I'll chop you into itty bitty pieces and use you as fertilizer!"

"Gee, ya don't have to get so touchy. You've used that threat before," Billy said. He turned, adding, "Oh well, I guess all old people are cranky and lame."

"Cranky, lame, old!" Skarr yelled after him, but Billy had left. "I am not old!" Skarr insisted, drawing out the magical transporting mirror he'd once taken from Grim's trunk. He glanced at himself in it.

GAoBaM

Skarr was humming and watering his flowers happily. Just then, though, a voice said, "Hey Mr. Skarr."

Skarr tensed up, eyes widening, then frowned, looking behind him. "Harold, what brings you here?" he questioned.

"What else? Your shrubs are still the best on the block," Harold replied, rolling up a newspaper. "You might not want to go near them, though."

Skarr looked aghast. Soon he twitched. Finally he scowled, hissing in the calmest tone he could, though his voice shook with anger and hatred, "Get-out."

"Sure thing old timer," Harold replied, slapping him on his back.

"Old! I'm hardly older than you! If anything, mere months separate us!" Skarr defended adamantly.

"Whatever you say gramps," Harold replied, waving as he headed off. Oh gods, they all had it in for him since the Undertaker incident.

GAoBaM

Old? Sure, he'd claimed sixty to Underfist, but that was hyperbole. He had been thinking about before he was born, and the age he suspected he'd get to, if he were lucky. Oh immortals, why couldn't Harold have just died during the last power melee? Skarr clenched his fists and teeth, saying, "I swear to the gods, if anyone else enters my garden…"

Just then a voice said, "S'up yo?"

Skarr whirled, yelling, "What do you want Irwin!" Unfortunately another survivor of the battle. Just then he noticed that Irwin held a bouquet of flowers in his hands, and behind the boy half his flora was uprooted.

Irwin, at first taken aback at Skarr's reaction, soon nervously said, almost too quickly for the man to hear, "Whoa, I'm sorry, yo, but I really needed these. See, I wanna impress Mandy with a bouquet. Maybe then she'll like me."

Skarr hardly heard him, staring instead at his ravaged flowerbeds. Finally, he slowly and deliberately said, "Get this through your head, little boy, Mandy will never love you. She'll never even like you. You are a thorn in her side, a bane to her existence, and you might as well give up now before you learn the hard way. You'd be better off going for Mindy." He could tell from the way Irwin's face crumbled, and the boy's eyes started to water, that every word had cut like a knife. Good. He meant it too. All at once, though, the boy burst into tears and ran off. For a moment he felt a pang of guilt, eyes reflecting pity. They'd been teammates and 'friends' after all. He'd even liked the boy, depending on the circumstances, but quickly he forced it away.

GAoBaM

He gazed at his flowers, then his house. Just then the roof was blown off! Skarr was hardly fazed. He'd expected as much. Sure enough, soon Grim called, "Sorry 'bout dat Skarr! Billy, Mandy and I were tryin' out some fireworks!"

Fireworks his foot. The reaper had it in for him since their last confrontation. Anything he'd done was on purpose. He marvelled at how he wasn't dead yet. Skarr could say nothing. He simply fell to his knees, stunned silent. All at once he burst into tears, crying, "Why me! It's not fair!" He began to sob.

Why was he cursed? What had he done? He didn't even have Lord Pain, Jack, or Boogey to confide in anymore either. They were all who knew where! Being back on Bunny Island would be preferable to this! He almost wished he was there! No, not almost, he did wish he was there! He missed his pigeons, his old room, the predictability of Major Doctor Ghastly and Hector Con Carne. Scheme, fail, scheme, fail, at least it was something of a routine! He missed his old life! If he could just go back to the way things once were for a little while, just a little while. He wouldn't stay that way. He just needed a dose of world domination once more.

All at once he stopped and leapt up, saying, "That's it. I can't take it anymore! I need a vacation! Why can't I do something about this?" Instantly a plan leapt to mind. He raced back into his house, then seconds later emerged, clothed in his old uniform. He sheathed his sword, then walked casually towards Mandy's house as if he were just taking a little walk.

GAoBaM

Skarr paused at Mandy's fence, having spotted the girl. She must have come back to get more weapons of destruction. Probably to blow up the rest of his house. He paused and leaned on the fence, calling, "Well good day Mandy. How are you today?"

Mandy looked at him, slightly surprised, then her expression fell into its regular perma-frown. She walked to the fence, asking, "Cut the crap, what do you want?"

"Want? Why, Mandy, I'm hurt. I want absolutely nothing. How's life. Anything new? How's good old Bunny Island? Honestly, I thought no one would ever buy it. Thank goodness it's gone," he answered. He couldn't let her know he wanted it. If she sensed he wanted it, she would hold it tantalizingly over his head, and he'd get nowhere.

She answered simply, "I sold it."

"You what!" he exclaimed, shocked. "To whom?"

"To its old owner for a few billion dollars," she casually added, shrugging. "I paid ten-thousand. He told me he was a multi-billionaire and to name my price. He wanted it back. I figured it was a good enough deal. The deed was just cluttering up my room anyway." Skarr blinked. Clever, Hector. Once in a while Con Carne would come up with something good. General Skarr knew perfectly well that saying he was a multi-billionaire was understatement of the millennia. He had jillions. He'd certainly gained it back quickly enough after bankruptcy. He marvelled at how the man could keep that little tidbit hidden from Mandy, of all people.

"Oh, well, good for you," Skarr muttered, stunned. "Ta ta little… thing. I must carry on." With that, Skarr hurried off. Mandy shrugged then went over to Billy's. At least he wasn't after their lives anymore. Apparently the breakup of the Undertakers had been messy.

GAoBaM

General Skarr couldn't believe his luck. He sat in his chair still stunned. Evil Con Carne owned Bunny Island once more. It was theirs again. Finally he sat up straight. Well, he was looking for a vacation. He was pining for one more dose of his old life. Why not? It would just be for a little while. Soon he was smirking evilly. Yes, this would be a welcome relief. Look out Evil Con Carne, Skarr's back! He pulled out the mirror, grinning evilly.