Chapter 2
"So how did you sleep last night Wallace?" Ramona took a seat. They were in the food court of the mall. It was later in the afternoon when they woke up. Scott had the day off and Ramona didn't have anything to deliver so it was a good chance for them all to just loaf around.
"With Scott's knee in my back. It reminded me of the old romantic times we spent together. You know, waking up with drool on our shoulder and someone's centimeter-too-long toenails scraping against the top of your bottom." Wallace replied sarcastically as he sipped at his cappuccino. She laughed.
"Well you were sleeping with your hand on my junk." Scott replied back.
"That's what I say to your mother all the time." He took another sip. Scott stared at him then stood up and grabbed his empty tray.
"I think I'm gonna go cry now." He turned and made his way for the trash can.
"Aww baby, you know I was just jerking your chain. I don't talk to your mother when she's busy making me happy." He replied.
"Jerk."
"Me?" he looked back at Scott and smiled.
"Ok, ok, enough hurting Scott's feeling." Ramona laughed.
"He's only got one feeling huh? Which one's that?" Wallace watched as Scott dumped the tray and made his way back.
"Hot." Ramona replied, drinking her slushie a bit.
"I can agree with that. So, where to now?" He leaned against the table as Scott took his seat again.
"I don't know, maybe clothes shopping?" She crossed her arms, leaning on the table. He nodded.
"Sounds good, I lost my good shirt to a vomit canon. It was my favorite button up."
"Why was it your favorite?" He didn't see why it would be Wallace's favorite. Sure it was a nice shade of light pink but he didn't see it.
"It was the shirt I was wearing when your mother started to make me feel like a man." Everyone was silent for a second, then Scott fell forward, smashing his forehead off the table.
"I'm seriously going to go cry now." Ramona laughed lightly and leaned forward, kissing his head.
"Baby he's kidding."
"Are you sure? How do you know?" Scott replied his face burrowed in the table.
"He's your friend Scott, of course he's kidding." She replied. Wallace nodded.
"But how do you know? I mean, he could be like half of the other gay people I meet!" he whined.
"Should I plug my ears so I'm not offended by this?" Wallace questioned, sipping his drink again.
"Here we go." Ramona sighed.
"He could be a bitchy bitch McBitcherson and like…insult the living hell out of people to make themselves feel better." Scott ranted.
"Now why would I need to do that when all I have to do is let you talk for 20 minutes and let everyone find out for themselves just how dense you can really be." Wallace replied. It was silent, Scott staring at him. He looked down, his bottom lip puffing out, quivering.
"You're a meanie doo-doo skull."
"Yeah yeah, go throw this out for me and I'll massage your feet when we get back to your place." He placed his empty cappuccino cup on the table in front of Scott. Scott eyed him curiously.
"With oils?"
"Baby I'll use whatever you want. If you want baby blood, boom you have babies blood, now," he shook the cup a bit. "This cup isn't going to throw itself out you know." Scott looked at it skeptically for a second then grabbed it, standing up.
"Alright, but you better massage in between the toes and everything!" He headed over, pushing the garbage open he tossed it away. A hand snaked in front of him catching his attention. Scott stopped and looked up, following the hand up to a face. His breath hitched a bit as he saw who it was. "M-Mobile?" The glasses clad psychic looked at him with a blank, dull expression, then cocked an eyebrow.
"You're Scott Pilgrim, right? Wallace's friend?" He even sounded monotonous and dull. How could Wallace have any kind of relationship with this guy?
"Yeah, I'm Scott. We met before, remember?" Scott was surprised he remembered that they'd met before, even if it was just once.
"Yes I remember." Mobile pulled his hand back, adjusting his glasses. "It's not easy to forget coming home to see your lover in the arms of another man."
"We aren't gay! Well…I'm not, but he is, and we weren't embracing he was keeping me from killing you!" Scott spat, trying to convince the psychic what happened without making Wallace or himself look bad but all the man did was groan and rub his forehead.
"Your voice is irritating. Do me a favor and cut your tongue out." Scott's jaw dropped.
"Scott what's taking so long!" Wallace called coming over. He stopped and looked at Mobile shocked. "Mobile, what are you doing here?" He questioned, feeling a bit nervous.
"I could ask the same thing to you." Mobile shot, giving the other gay male a cold glare.
"Well, it's a long story." Wallace replied, looking down.
"Let me guess, you went out and got smashed last night and headed to Scott's and shared a bed with him and his girlfriend Ramona?" He questioned, his nose crinkled.
"Dude! How did he know that!" Scott squealed pointing at Mobile, but he was ignored.
"I really wish you'd stay out of my head." Wallace muttered, crossing his arms.
"And I wish I could trust you to keep your clothes on around other men." Mobile shot back.
"I wasn't naked around Scott so stop pitting me out to be a cheater!" Wallace snapped.
"Oh? If you weren't naked then what am I seeing here? A shower, embraced by a naked man? What's that Wallace?" He was talking about Wallace being washed up by Scott. His little shocker that even he'd forgotten about.
"I wasn't doing anything with him, some guy puked on his back and he was too smashed to shower by himself, so I held him up while Ramona washed h-" Scott tried but was stopped, a hand shooting into his face.
"Shut your mouth, I'm not talking to you." Mobile growled.
"Maybe you should talk to him, because he's more aware of what's going on right now than you are." Wallace threatened.
"You," Mobile pointed at him. "Tonight, you're coming home. Pack up your shit and get out of my house. I'm tired of you taking up my space and constantly drinking!" Mobile threatened. Turning he stomped away.
"You serious douche bag!" Wallace hollered after him, his breathing speeding up. His eyes watered. He didn't know fully what was going on, but he was letting what came to mind spill out of his mouth. The one thing he knew how to do at the moment. "You asshat! You jerk wad!" Wallace screamed, everyone in the mall stopping and looking at him. Tears escaped his eyes.
"Wallace." Scott tried, scared. He wasn't used to seeing this side of his friend. In all the time he knew Wallace, not once had he seen the gay male cry. And here he was, in front of everyone, cussing until the tears prohibited him from saying anything else. Choking Wallace headed for the doors. He knew he couldn't stay in there, if he did he'd either attract too much attention or be escorted out for disturbing the peace.
Scott watched him. Ramona had stood up the moment she'd seen Mobile. Standing by the table, she shared a concerned look with Scott, debating on whether or not they should go after him or no. It was going to be a long night full of confrontations. How had it gotten this bad?