I cannot tell you how long I just stared at this story waiting for words to pop onto the page. Nothing. I got nothing. TT~TT That awful writer's block and the lovely holidays are why I updated so late. And I feel kinda like a loser because this chapter takes place on Christmas and I updated late! I wrote all of this at about 3 in the morning so I apologize if stuff doesn't make sense. I'll go back over things if you guys think I should ^^;

NOTE: This story has a bit of stuff about religion in it (It's a Sunday and Rin is catholic so ya know it kind of works that way sometimes) so I don't mean to offend anybody by anything! Thanks~

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Romeo and Cinderella

Chapter 12: Adulterium

I told Len not to come the next night, since it was a Sunday and I just might have to kill myself if I got caught with Len on a Sunday. Like I said. Very, very Catholic parents. I guess you kind of have to be when you're the prince (and wife of a prince) of a German state and decide the religion of said area. That gives me another reason why I wouldn't want to get caught—it would make me "look bad." Heaven forbid I enjoy myself on a Sunday.

Then would come the part where the parents freak out because they swear their daughter will become pregnant. Which I won't. Besides, if my mother is supposedly sterile, odds are I am, too… Now that I think about it, that kind of sucks. So much for my whole "big happy family" childhood dream. Excuse me but I think I'm going to go jump off this bridge, now.

You see what happens when Len isn't around? Suicidal thoughts. That is not healthful behavior. I told you he wasn't that bad to have by!

I feel like I'm trying to convince myself more than I am anyone else.

Oh yeah. And Merry Christmas, by the way, if you're into that kind of junk. I could feel the merriment in the air as I rode in my family's white, horse-drawn carriage down the streets toward the church as we had done every Sunday. Except this time it was special. Children danced in the streets, nearly killing themselves standing in the middle of the busy roads and parents gazed longingly toward them, remembering times when they were young enough to appreciate the shit life threw at them. Or maybe they were just jealous of the kid that would get hit by a wagon.

I stepped out of the carriage in a lovely cream gown. I felt rather… uncomfortable wearing white for obvious reasons. It was like my clothes were transparent and "ICH BIN KEINE JUNGFRAU!" was written all over my skin.

My father took my hand daintily and walked me into the church. The inside was beautifully ornate. Every corner was gilded in gold and the floor was of a slick stone. Pews were crowded in either side. Toward the back were the older benches with no backs. They were nearly falling apart, taking away from the almighty image of the church. In the front were the rows where the nobility sat. These benches had backs and even cushioning in the first few rows. The very front row, where my family sat, was painted white and gold and had velvet lining the color of roses.

We sat in our special seats and waited patiently for the sermon to start. I tried desperately not to fall asleep. I always got tired when I entered the church since I slept in here ever since I was a little girl. However, recently my parents had begun to become ever so slightly irritated whenever I slept while the priest was talking at everyone in Latin.

Half an hour later the thing finally started and my mother had to wake me up. At least I wasn't snoring… that time.

So it's Christmas, right? And on Christmas they're supposed to tell you the story of how Jesus was born even though Mary never got knocked up by her husband and then some old guys came by and gave everyone stuff, right? That's what I thought, too. Don't get me wrong. They started out with that. Then I started hearing words like "adultery," and "corruption," and "premarital sex" (except in Latin, you know) which was all quite unnerving seeing as I am sitting here literally in front of God and everyone sweating through twenty layers of fabric in the middle of winter.

Wow, Rin. You'll have to get over this whole undying guilt thing if you're going to run off and live in America somewhere with your one true love.

Except you won't have any children 'cause you're sterile, bitch.

This general pattern of me worrying and yelling at myself continued until we uneventfully returned home. Then, of course, my mother asks one of the most inappropriate and predictable questions in the world: "How did you enjoy the service, today, honey?"

I almost fell over. "A-ah it was great," I kind of said truthfully except for the whole not caring thing. "I'm just going to go to my room and… pray now." I stumbled up the stairs without another word.

I sat in my room for a few hours, long enough for it to be dark outside, and the whole time I was just thinking of things to try to do and shunning them away for stupid reasons.

Maybe I should go outside to the gardens.

Nope. God would smite me.

Maybe I should visit Luka in the kitchen.

Nope. I'd trip and kill myself.

Maybe I should go to the tower.

Nope. I hate myself too much.

It was kind of like an endless spiral of hate on myself. And it made for an awkward situation when Luka asked me if I was ready for dinner and I said, "Nope. It's probably cow fat," then had to grovel on my knees like a peasant so she would let me eat because it was cow fat, and then I didn't get very large portions of anything anyway and got all of the burnt parts of the cow fat which was even more unappetizing than just plain cow fat. Keep in mind, this all took place in my room, so Luka made sure to take her time making her way up there. Not only was it burnt cow fat, it was cold burnt cow fat. Luka left me to gag. In the end I ate about three bites, got "full," and threw the rest out the window. After that I stared at the wall some more. I lit a few lanterns when the sun began setting. That's it.

Apparently even more time passed while I sat bored in my room because Luka came in later asking about tea.

"Sugar and cream in your tea, Lady Rin?" she asked me, a tray in her hand carrying a pot of tea and the accompanying cream, sugar and teacups.

"I told you not to call me that. And yes, sugar and cream," I replied plainly. This was regular daily protocol for my household.

"My apologies, Lady Rin. And for you, sir?" she continued. Wait, what? Sir?

"A touch of cream would be just lovely," a familiar voice answered.

"Of course. I'll have that ready for you soon." Luka went on to place the tea tray on a small table between two mildly uncomfortable chairs in the middle of my trapezoid-shaped room where she mixed tea, cream, and sugar to the proper ratios. On her way back out the door she passed by me and gave me a hard look and traced her finger across her neck as if to say if I did something stupid my head would no longer be attached to my everything else. That's never disheartening.

The door closed rather loudly and I was left with him in the room. He had already taken a seat next to his tea—how he could tell his from the other I did not know—and appeared to be waiting for me to join him.

"Rin, are you coming?" I told you he was waiting. Oh, I am so good at this.

"What are you doing here? Didn't I tell you to stay home?" I accused him.

"I just couldn't resist you, love," Len insisted. "By the way, do you have any idea how long I stood there waiting for you to look up? It's like you were in some sort of trance."

"Yeah, I know. I was, um… praying," I tried unconvincingly. Len raised his eyebrow as I stood to accompany him at the tea table.

"You never hit me as the religious type," he said. I never hit me as the religious type either.

"Only when I feel guilty." Of course, I wasn't really praying all day like I lied, but I did pray a bit. It was usually something along the lines of, Oh, God, please don't let Luka spit in my food too much, as if cow fat weren't bad enough.

"What do you have to feel guilty about?" Len pressed.

I laughed darkly. "What do you think, Len? What could I have possibly done to cause guilt to myself?"

Len looked at me. He didn't say anything, but he looked at me in a way that I wasn't sure I knew how to describe. His mouth was a soft line that seemed to belong to a pondering man. His eyes looked lost, shining like they were more moist than usual. It was almost as if he believed he were at fault here.

Of course, that couldn't be the case. All women are evil temptresses. If a woman is to fall victim to a man's compromising stance, it must have been the woman pushing the man to such a point.

"I guess this means you're not interested in me anymore, huh," I went on solemnly. "Can't handle a girl who feels sorrow after her actions." I picked up a spoon and stirred my tea a bit before taking a sip. It had gotten cold as Len and I spoke.

Len didn't look like he could say anything. He stood and walked the few paces to my chair then knelt down, taking my hand and kissing it. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"What have you to be sorry for?" I said flatly. "It is not you who is engaged to a loveless soul. It is not you who has committed a terrible first crime worthy of capital punishment. It is not you who is tormented by your family memories every night. What have you to feel sorry for?"

"I'm sorry because it's you, Rin. I'm sorry because I'm causing you all of this pain and I care about you. I don't like watching you suffer. It's in your eyes every time I see you and I don't know what it really is, but it's there. I wonder if it's gone when I leave. I wonder if I'm the one that causes that thing to be in your eyes, and I'm sorry because I don't know what to do." Len seemed to laugh at himself for a moment. "I don't know how to fix things, Rin. I'm awesome at screwing shit up, and I suck at trying to make it better. Please, just tell me what you need."

"…What I need." I had only heard that term used when a maid was serving me.

"What do you need?"

I thought about it for maybe half a minute before replying. "A distraction."

"Distraction?"

"I need a distraction."

"You need a distraction."

"To help me focus."

"Focus?"

"Whenever I'm distracted, the things that I really need come out. I need a distraction."

"What kind of distraction?"

"What do you want, Len?" I questioned, distracting myself from his question. "Out of everything in the world, what do you want and how are you going to get it?"

Len stayed motionless for a moment then slowly rose and returned to his chair. "I don't know what I want," he admitted. "I guess I want a change of atmosphere. I want to see new places, new faces, and have a second chance. I really messed up with my life so far. A clean slate could mean a whole new world." He appeared thoughtful for a second before going on. "What about you? What do you want, Rin?"

"Me? I want everything to disappear. I want to be in a place where memories don't haunt me everywhere. I want things to change so I don't have to be afraid when I go to sleep or talk to you. I want revolution—a personal revolution. I want to change. I want peace. I want to be able to go to sleep at night without pain. Sometimes, I even think about just ending it all. Surely whatever isn't here has something better to offer. It scares me when I think about that, but I still think it… I feel so alone out here, Len. I'm so alone."

I looked up at him, hoping he would say something, anything at all. He was silent. I felt tears threaten from behind my eyes. All I needed was an answer. Please, say something.

…

"Hey, Rin?"

I blinked and felt something roll down from my right eye. "Yeah?"

"Let's be alone…together, okay?"

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Author's Note: I was going to add in New Year's at the end of this chapter just for some more length, but that would have taken weeks longer for me to write. And I've already been gone for so long.

I'm kind of in a solemn mood after writing the end of this chapter. Just Rin bending things out of proportion in her mind, crazy guilt trip, and then Len shows up and he actually /doesn't/ want to only use her so that's cool. Doesn't really change how this chapter is really freakishly short. I guess it's kind of one of those "I'm not dead" types of things… I always hated those

MY FAVORITE QUOTE OF ALL TIME IS IN THE NEXT CHAPTER AND I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT IT! Do any of your previous readers know my favorite quote? I'll give you a cookie if you do~~

In other news, THANK YOU FOR 3000 VIEWS I LUVZ YOU GUYS SO MUCH!

Please review and stuff! I updated really late, but your reviews inspire me to keep on keeping on! That you guys so much!

—Replies to anonymous:—

pikapika: lolol. I barely remember what I wrote it was so late last night. But I'm glad Len's supah-sexiness was apparent.

And yay! You guessed which one is my fav line. ^^ (the Hell one, though I must say I enjoy it whenever Len says "babe")

I will keep your invisible facebook like in mind as I continue to write this story. xDxD

vocal-maiden: It's been FFOOOOREEEVVAAAAHH! I presume you're doing well~ (except for the computer deal -.- At least it's getting fixed at all, right? ^^;)

The name sounds familiar but….. I really have no idea. xD I'm terrible with names and when you're watching over 40 stories things tend to get confusing. ^^;;;

Thanks for bothering to review!~!

jona3: I think it's the scene we've all been waiting for. (myself included. XDXD) Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. Wow, you've been around pretty much since the beginning, right? That's cool. XD

karina20: Thank you so much! Weird how when you make two characters finally sleep together you get a few more comments than usual. ^^;

Anyway, thank you so much for reading AND reviewing!

Again, PLEASE review and thank all of your for reading!