Beyond Grim And Evil Installment 2: Return To Bunny Island

Beyond Grim And Evil: Return To Bunny Island

(A/N: They have plans A and B, everything seems to be going well, everything's in order. Who could possibly screw it up, right? Right?)

Will This Work?

She watched as he constructed a strange machine, hammering and screwing in nails and such. Ghastly helped him build, fixing the screw ups he made, which were many, and handing him things. "Um, how, exactly, will this help Hector fall in love with me?" she asked.

He looked at her confused, then at the machine. "Oh this? No, this isn't to help you win Hector. This is to help hold up the heavy materials you have a tendency to leave lying around, or precariously balanced over people's heads. Namely, mine," he answered.

She blinked, then face palmed, saying, "That's great and all, but what about me?"

Skarr leapt from the machine, landing in front of her, then replied, "Ah yes, the plan for you and Hector. I've got nothing. You?"

She sighed in exasperation, then replied, "Fortunately, yes. You've heard the stories about Cupid, or Eros, love at first sight and all that. This plan requires the invention of a love potion. Once I've developed it, we dip some arrows in the potion, and while I'm talking to Hector, you sneak up from behind and shoot him!"

"I see," Skarr remarked. "The Cupid Effect. He'll fall passionately in love with you, and you'll live happily ever after. Meanwhile, I can enjoy my peace and quiet and freedom as a bachelor and laugh at Hector's misfortune."

"Misfortune? Hey! You were looking for love once too!" she shot.

"Oh please, you think after that incident I'd be so inclined towards love again?" he questioned.

"I'm not sure this plan is fool proof though, Skarr," Ghastly uncertainly remarked, ignoring his last question.

"Of course it is!" he shot.

"Yeah, sure," she replied with a roll of her eyes. Somehow she doubted it. However, she didn't doubt his shooting. Something else would have to throw it off, but it wouldn't be the General.

BGaE

Ghastly intensely worked over the boiling cauldron. "Let's see, tomatoes, oysters, lotus blossoms, exotic flowers and scents, a little of this, a little of that, and… Presto!" she exclaimed, as the cauldron poofed up smoke in the shape of a pink heart. She laughed madly, then scooped some into a vial.

"Major, are you done yet?" Skarr questioned, coming inside.

She looked to him, answering, "It's alive!" He jumped, startled. Quickly she recovered, saying with an embarrassed blush, "I mean, yeah, here it is General." She handed it over, grinning. Getting serious once more, she continued, "But it hasn't been tested yet."

"Forget the testing. I have full confidence in your abilities. That, and I don't want to be bothered with such petty details," he remarked.

"You think the test run is petty?" she questioned angrily.

"What subjects would you use anyway?" Skarr demanded.

"W-well," she said, looking around for something, anything. The only ones around were she and Skarr, and that could get really awkward really fast.

"Exactly," he said, holding it away. Just then he sniffed the scent and leaned in towards it, saying, "My gosh. That smell. It's so, so, exotic, romantic, beautiful. Why, I just want to take a sip. Ghastly, has anyone ever told you that you have the most beautiful eyes my darling?"

She snatched it away, shooting, "Are you crazy? One drop of this and you'll fall in love with the first living thing you see! The scent is nice, though, isn't it?" She sniffed, the scent getting to her, and asked, blushing girlishly, "Wait, you think I have beautiful eyes sir?"

"Overkill much Doctor?" Skarr questioned, back to normal and pulling it a little ways away from her to snap her back to herself.

Ghastly shook her head, shaking off the effects. "Now's not the time for halfway measures!" Ghastly shot, raising it quickly. A drop spilled out, though, and fell on top of a small insect. The two looked down at it blankly. All at once a heart popped out over its body, and it began to make excited sounds. Skarr stiffened. It was looking at him! It leapt at his face, and Skarr screamed like a little girl, backing away in alarm and trying to bat it off. Ghastly cringed. This was just disturbing. "General Skarr, stop drop and roll!" she shouted, unsure how that would work, but trying to help. They hadn't trained for the attack of a love struck bug!

Finally Skarr scrambled away, diving for bug spray. He instantly squirted the creature, and it coughed in pain. Heart racing, he rose. Ghastly ran over, and the two watched the insect. It stood on its back legs, dancing around as it was dying. All at once they distinctively heard it say to Skarr, "Alas, what treachery is this? A lover's betrayal? Oh my beloved. 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. Farewell, sweet warrior, I shall always love you." With that, it died. The two blinked blankly down at it, then grinned evilly at each other. Oh, this would work.

BGaE

Hector looked curiously at Ghastly, asking, "All right Ghastly, why did you call me down here?" Just then he noticed the machine Skarr and she had built. It held up a ton of bricks off the floor. "Oh, finally you got something to keep your toys off the floor," Hector remarked.

She frowned, then grinned, saying, "Oh, that's not the reason chief. I just wanted to ask how your plans are coming along. I'd like to start work on them ASAP."

"Oh? Well, just fine Ghastly. They're almost done. On top of that, in case it doesn't work, I have a backup plan," Hector said, getting excited.

"Oh, what's that?" she questioned, looking behind. She saw Skarr tiptoeing up behind Hector with the arrows they'd dipped in the potion, holding a bow. He stood beneath the bricks that hung in the air, using the shadow as a cover and vantage point. She smirked.

"We all know the League of Destruction failed completely. However, who's to say a partnership will? I plan on calling on the help of one other fellow villain in a team-up. We will plot together as equals, and we will come up with a foolproof plan! When we finally rule the world, well, you get the rest," Hector narrated. "My first choice is Cataclysma. We get along the best, you see. However, seeing her hatred for Skarr, I'll call on her last."

"Cataclysma? Why her?" Ghastly demanded, eyes narrowing.

"Because she is so powerful, and so clever, and so…" Hector replied, or began.

"Oh really?" Ghastly icily asked, cutting him off. "And I'm not?"

"What are you talking about Major Doctor?" Hector asked. Ghastly gave the signal to Skarr.

Skarr snickered villainously then took aim. He fired confidently, but all of a sudden, Boskov smelled the potion and turned excitedly. The arrow struck Stomach's container and rebounded. Skarr cried out in alarm, ducking just in time. The arrow, however, ricocheted off of the metal walls and headed straight for the rope holding up the bricks! Skarr's pupils dilated, and he said, "Oh mummy." The rope snapped.

Ghastly cringed as the bricks fell on the General, crushing him. She and Hector raced up to the mess, and she blinked down at him, teeth clenched. "Skarr, what are you doing here? Get up and start calling our fellow villains like I ordered," he commanded.

"Yes sir," Skarr said painfully, crawling out from under the pile in agony. Hector walked away leaving Ghastly to deal with the General.

BGaE

Skarr held the steak to his eye as Ghastly checked his casted arm; and leg, and other. "Okay, new plan," he declared. "Do you remember Skarrina?"

"The bomb you thought was a real woman?" she questioned.

He blinked, then yelled, "I was blinded by love, okay!"

"Too blind to see a bomb?" she asked incredulously.

"Well, I… That's beside the point!" he defended. "Never mind. The point is, remember where I brought it when I left you two in a huff?"

"Yeah, what about it?" she asked.

"It's the most romantic spot on this dump of an island, Ghastly. Get with it," Skarr said, exasperated.

She blinked, then questioned, "Okay, where are you going with this? So far I like it."

"All right. Picture this. It's sunset, the sky's ablaze with colour, birds flitting about against the horizon. We have a picnic, then I casually find some way to excuse myself. You and Hector are left alone at the most beautiful and sensual time of day. You discuss a plot for a little, just to throw him off, but then you change the subject to more, shall we say, intimate, places. You get caught up in the moment and confess your feelings. In the heat of it all, bam! Kissy, kissy huggy, huggy, and all that there romantic stuff you women love hits you like a ton of bricks! Much like they hit me."

She blinked, catching the insult. "I said I'm sorry, okay," she defended.

"That doesn't make the hurt go away!" he yelled.

"What do you want from me?" she stated with a frown.

BGaE

"Ahem," they heard someone say. Hector.

Blinking they looked. "Just the play sir," Skarr stated, grinning innocently. Why did he insist on walking in at the worst times?

Quickly Ghastly leapt in, saying, "Hey chief, we just had a great idea. Why don't we have a picnic? Tonight. Around sunset. You know, just for a change." She blushed.

"A picnic? Well I don't see why not. Where will this picnic be, Ghastly?" Hector asked. Boskov laughed and clapped.

"Oh, you know, outside. On the bunny's nose. You know. Beneath the eyes," she stammered, pointing to her nose. Skarr face palmed.

Hector raised an eyebrow. Boskov looked up at the brain. "Okay?" he replied. "General Skarr, I'm still waiting on a team up. We've tried everyone but one."

"But sir, she's not worth it!" Skarr protested.

"Oh yes she is! She was my first choice anyway. Get me Cataclysma! Don't let me down. I won't take no for an answer," Hector warned.

"Yes sir," Skarr glumly agreed.

"Good. I'll meet you both at the picnic then. Ghastly, I need your help designing this thing. I've run into a brick wall," he stated.

"Righty 'o' chief. Anything you say," she eagerly exclaimed, following him.

Skarr blinked, then frowned, calling, "I'm fine, thank you!" He looked at the potion, frowned, then said, "Oh bollux to you." He leapt off the table and walked out, leaving the bubbling potion behind…

BGaE

Boskov finished off a drumstick "Mmm, fantastic meal Ghastly. Who knew you could cook so well? It's as good as Skarr's. This was a great idea you two."

"Wasn't it though?" Skarr replied, as he and Ghastly shared a conspiratorial look. "Oh, I just remembered, I have to get through to Cataclysma! Forgive me, sir, for rushing off so soon. Before dessert too. Oh well, you kids have fun! Save a slice for me!" he quickly added, running off.

"What's with him?" Hector asked.

"Oh, you know, it's Skarr chief," Ghastly remarked. "So, how do you think this partnership with Cataclysma will work?"

"Just great! She's a superb villainess, and so powerful. Together we may finally overthrow the world! Granted, of course, the laser doesn't work. You know, Ghastly, she is one of the few women who have resisted my charm. I admire that about her. Truly I do. So many just fall for it," Hector raved.

Ghastly twitched, then frowned, saying, "What, do you have a crush on her or something?"

"A crush? A crush. I've never had one before. Or much of one. I doubt it Ghastly. I simply admire her," Hector replied.

She sighed in relief, then looked up at the sunset. Now or never. "Wow Hector, look at that sunset. It's so beautiful."

He looked. "It is, isn't it?" he questioned. "You know, Ghastly, Cataclysma controls nature."

She blinked, then continued, "It's so romantic, don't ya think? The birds, the last clouds, the first planet appearing."

"It is. I wonder if sunlight or beauty can be used for world domination. Better yet, love! We could get rid of all the love in the world, or even form rivalries within the League of Nations!" Hector exclaimed. She face palmed, shaking her head.

BGaE

Meanwhile, Skarr turned on the large screen. It rang thrice before a woman appeared, saying, "This had better be good Hector."

"Hello Cataclysma," Skarr coldly greeted.

She blinked, then frowned, saying, "Oh, it's you General Skarr. If I'd known that, I wouldn't have picked up."

"Cut the crap. I'm here on behalf of Hector. The League of Destruction was a complete and utter failure. A disaster. However, Hector is willing to play with the idea of a team up. You, of course, were his first choice."

"Of course I was," she bit. "So, Hector wants to buddy up, does he?"

"Unfortunately," Skarr replied.

"Well, you can tell him that if he wants me, he'll have to come get me. Personally. Without his lackey's," she replied.

"You know full well that Hector doesn't do things on his own," Skarr retorted, getting angry.

"Well, he's going to have to. And if you don't quit now, it'll just make things harder," she stated.

"Now listen here, woman. If I don't go back to him with good news, I'm fried!" he shot.

"You're going to be fried anyway," she warned. He caught the tone and gasped, trying to run.

BGaE

"Listen to the ocean, Hector. It's like a love song," Ghastly prompted. She'd tried everything! Soon she would just have to play the last card before it was ready. Just then they heard General Skarr scream in pain!

"What was that?" Hector asked, turning.

"Nothing!" she yelled, grabbing Boskov's fur and turning the brain to face her.

"It sounded like Skarr," he stated.

"Forget Skarr, he's fine!" she shot. "Pay attention to me!"

Just then, though, Skarr crawled from the eyes of the rabbit, scorched and smoking. He coughed as he collapsed next to them, then groaned, "Bad news sir. Cataclysma refuses to partner with you unless you get her yourself."

"What? I don't do anything myself!" Hector shot.

"You don't think I didn't tell her that?" Skarr questioned.

"Well go back and try harder!" he ordered.

Skarr froze, rising, then protested, "But sir, she almost killed me! If I go there again, I'm a dead man!"

"Go anyway! Die before you take no for an answer!" Hector proclaimed.

"B-b-but," Skarr stammered. "I don't want to die."

"Oh suck it up Skarr," Hector said.

"Hey, you want her, go get her!" Ghastly yelled, furious.

Oblivious, Hector declared, "You know Doctor, you're right! Don't send a wimp to do a man's job. I'll handle this myself." With that, he raced off.

"Hector, wait!" Ghastly called. He was gone.

BGaE

"A wimp?" Skarr questioned.

"So much for our brilliant plans," Ghastly gloomily stated.

"Is it so wrong for me to want to live?" Skarr inquired, upset.

"No," Ghastly said with a sigh. She pulled out two bottles of soda and handed one to him as he sat next to her.

"We must be the biggest losers of them all. Well, with exception to Ner… never mind," Skarr remarked, popping off the cap and sipping before he revealed too much more of the previous adventure.

"Pity party? Sounds good. Let me try. Nothing I do, no matter how obvious I am, works. Maybe I should've tried your lines," she mused, sipping as well.

"I'm so pathetic, I can't keep my neighbours from using my flowers as a bathroom. They hardly live a week because of it. I'm on the receiving end of everything that goes wrong. If it can happen, it does happen to me. Plus, I thought a bomb was a woman," Skarr retaliated.

"Touché," she admitted. "Let's try this. I was a good girl. I hate world domination, yet I was willing to give up on all my principles, throw away my personality, for a man who doesn't even know I love him. I mean, he thought I loved you."

He smirked, saying, "That is pretty pathetic. I think we can both agree that Hector is the biggest idiot of us all in games of love, but we just both really suck."

"Amen to that," she grumbled. "To being the underlings. Failure is our middle name," she said. They raised the bottles then drank.

BGaE

Skarr looked at his bottle as the minions sat in comfortable silence next to each other. All at once, he remarked, "You know, between you and me, I think you could do better than that idiot Con Carne."

"Really?" she asked.

"Definitely," he answered.

"Like who?" she questioned, putting her hands to her cheeks sadly.

"Oh don't put yourself down, Doctor. As I've said, you are a very beautiful woman. There are plenty of other muscle bound jerks out there besides Hector," Skarr assured. Instantly, though, he knew he'd made a mistake.

"Wait a minute, you think I'm only into muscle heads! How shallow do you think I am!" she demanded, suddenly angry.

"Oh please, Ghastly. When we met our future past selves, they had that baby Destructius," Skarr replied.

"So? He was mine and Hector's son! Future past Ghastly said so!" she shot.

"Give me a break. You know as well as I that it's not even physically possible for your 'miracle of love' to conceive offspring spontaneously. Even I know that. The only other person on that island was me, and we both know how preposterous that is. Since you haven't given birth, I assume you never got pregnant before we left for the island. I'm guessing that future past you probably found some Tarzan type person or a jungle tribe, and anger got the best of her. Really, I'm just wondering which idiot you went with."

"I should throw you off of this bunny for that Skarr! How dare you accuse me of something like that!" she shot. "Besides, you know very well we three were the only ones on that island!" She cut out the fact only two of those three had a reproductive system. There was no way future past her would have gone with Skarr, right? No way. She didn't know how the power of love would work, but hey, if the Grim Reaper existed, why not Aphrodite? Who knew, perhaps Aphrodite had pitied her and bent a few rules.

Meanwhile, Skarr was realizing that, oh he was just making this worse. "You're taking this out of proportion Ghastly! I didn't mean it like that! Besides, who knows what future past you did?" Skarr defended. "Look, can we please not fight?"

She sighed then backed down, saying, "Sorry. I was getting a little touchy." There was silence. Finally she asked, "You really think I'd stand a chance with someone else?"

"Why not? At least you have the capability to get someone. Look at me. With this scar, who have I got a chance with?" he remarked.

"Oh come on General. You'll find someone," Ghastly assured. He scoffed. There was silence again. Finally, though, Ghastly looked over to him. For a moment she summed him up, then smiled. Maybe he wasn't such a bad guy after all. At least not when he was sympathizing with someone. All at once she leaned over and gave him a friendly peck on the cheek, making him sit up straight in surprise. "Thanks Skarr," she said.

He looked at her, eyebrow raised, then replied, "Uh, you're welcome." As the stars began to show themselves, the two watched the birds against the horizon and the fading sunset.