Chapter 5

"Come on guy, come out of the bathroom!" Wallace knocked on the door.

"No!" Scott sniffled, howling, snot running down his face. He was sitting in the fetal position by the toilet holding the rubber ducky from the bathtub in his hands.

"Come on guy, nothing's going to fix itself if you sit by the toilet and cry all day." Scott looked back over his shoulder, sniffling again.

"How did you know I was sitting next to the toilet?" He whined.

"Because for some odd reason you don't strike me as the type of guy to stand in the middle of the room and cry like man." It was silent. Wallace had to think of some way to get him out of that bathroom, then it hit him. Smiling he knocked again. "Hey, I have a wonderful idea to help cheer you up a little bit!"

"Whaaat?" Scott howled, crying again, the sound of the ducky squeaking.

"Let's go to a party with uh…lots of video games and snacks." The door opened. Scott looked at the gay male with large, tear filled eyes.

"But I can't afford snacks and video games." He pouted. Most of his money went to Ramona for groceries and her shopping so in the end he usually only had enough to pay for bus fair and to put in the bank for holidays, and Ramona said he couldn't touch that.

"I'll pay for your snacks and video games just, come on." He grabbed his hand and got dressed into his jeans and sweater, fixing his hair.

"How will you pay for the snacks and video games?" Reaching into his pocket Wallace pulled out his credit card, holding it up in the air. Scott stared at it then looked at Wallace concerned. "But…how will you know the pin number?

"Guy, if I know me well enough then my pin is the same it was back when I was in college seeing how this is the same account number and all." He checked his check book.

"You carry those around with you?" Scott looked over his shoulder at the check book.

"I have since I was 16. Old habits die hard, alright let's go." He smiled and grabbed his hand, slipping his boots and coat on. Pulling the door open a strong gust of wind blew in, a little drift of snow dancing across the floor. Wallace stared at the snow. "It's snowing? What the hell? Isn't it like…summer?"

"No you lost your memories. College Wallace is currently in summer, present Wallace is in the middle of winter." Scott explained, imagining in his mind an epic scene of Wallace splitting into two counter parts, one going back in time to beat an empire of magical beasts and become their gay ruler. Reaching up Wallace fanned the thought bubble away.

"Your thoughts are too loud guy, come on." He stuffed his hands in his pockets and headed out, stepping into the crunchy snow. "I freaking hate the cold." He muttered beneath his breath which created a white cloud of vapor in the cold air. Scott followed, feeling like he had when he was in college. He smiled, actually forgetting about Ramona as he followed his best friend. He listened to Wallace mutter and complain about the snow, watching him slip from time to time on the black ice that was hidden beneath the newly fallen powder.

Falling behind Scott smiled and leaned down grabbing a handful of snow. He started walking again, packing the snow into a ball. He tried to keep himself from laughing as he followed Wallace. Finishing his ball he whipped the snowball at the back of the gays head. The snow exploded on the back of his head, making him stop and flinch from the impact. Turning, Wallace glared at the brunette. He was going to kill him for that, but the stupid grin on Scott's face made him stop. Leaning down Wallace picked up some snow and continued to glare at him.

"I got you with a snowball!" Scott finally announced happily, obviously proud of himself. Packing the snowball into a tight ball Wallace whipped the snowball at the idiotic boy, hitting him in the face, knocking him off his feet. Walking over Wallace crossed his arms and looked down at him.

"Cold huh guy? Serves you right for hitting me with it fir-" Grabbing Wallace's ankle Scott pulled his foot out from under him. With the help of ice Wallace fell on his ass. Scrambling to his knees Scott pounced him, pushing him into a snow bank, covering him in snow. Thrashing Wallace fought against it, unable to keep from screaming as snow rushed down the back of his coat. Laughing Scott grabbed his wrists and hiked them up over his head. With one hand he unbuttoned the front of Wallace's coat and pushed a handful of snow down it.

Gasping Wallace went stiff, looking up at Scott, his eyes wide. His cheeks turned red as he shuttered. "Y-you suck!" He whimpered. Smiling Scott pulled back, but only to be quickly made the bottom of the pile. Shoving his face in the snow Wallace sat on his back, quickly squirming out of his jacket, brushing what snow was left and hadn't melted onto the brunette's head. Grabbing a fistful of his hair he began burying his head in the snow but Scott didn't mind it, he squirmed, laughing. Shifting he pushed Wallace off of him and sat up, shaking his head. He panted, his hands going to his face attempting to warm his cheeks up. Wallace looked at him angry for a second then started laughing. He couldn't remember the last time he'd done that. Literally.

"You remember three years ago when we were still living together? I hid inside a snowman and jumped out and scared you when you were getting the newspaper? You hit me with the frying pan you were using to cook bacon." Scott beamed proudly recalling it. Wallace's smile faded as he looked at him.

"No, I don't remember it." He replied. Scott's smile faded as well. He looked down at his hands and wiped of the wetness. Wallace looked at him for a long time then looked away, feeling sorry for the boy. "Sorry."

"I'm going to get them back."

"What?" Wallace looked up.

"I'm going to get your memories back, and we'll talk about the good days when we'd sleep together and I'd wake up and you were the big spoon and I was the little spoon. And you would make bacon and I'd use your credit card without you knowing but you didn't care because you were my friend." Wallace smiled. Reaching over he messed his hair up.

"I know you will guy." Suddenly something huge out of nowhere came flying across the street hitting Scott in the face, both flying through the snowbank. Kicking off of the boys face the person did a backflip landing on the sidewalk as Scott slid hitting a telephone pole.

"Scott Pilgrim! I have come to challenge you!" He spun. It was a fruity man with tight jeans and a lumberjack beard. He only wore a black t-shirt and a gay rainbow scarf.

"To what? That wasn't very nice." Scott popped his head up, rubbing the large bump on the back of his skull. Standing Wallace ran to him helping him out of the snow.

"You ok guy?"

"Yeah I'm fine," he nodded. "But who the heck goes around randomly kicking people in the face? That's not nice." Scott whined, rubbing his nose.

"I am Michael Bear! I am Wallace's-"

"Friggin ex boyfriend." Wallace stood up.

"What? You…you mean..why did he kick me though!"

"Because he's a douchebag. He's been a douchebag since fifth grade which is why I started dating him." Wallace admitted.

"I am," He ran his hand through his spikey hair and assumed a karate position. "Wallace Wells first evil ex boyfriend!" Scott stared horrified.

"NO! No no no! Why are you coming after me!" He stood up pacing.

"B-because you two are dating." Michael looked around nervously, confused. "Right? You two…are dating?"

"No! He's just my friend! My gay best friend!" Scott threw his hands up defensively. Wallace looked at him slightly hurt. He knew that Scott was just his friend, but Wallace couldn't deny he had some attraction for the brunette. And even though he couldn't remember any of his other boyfriends, he had a feeling that Scott would have been the nicest of all of them.

"Oh…well…I uh…I got a letter from head quarters that you two were dating." He pulled out a letter looking it over.

"No! We're just friends. JUST FRIENDS. I would NEVER date Wallace. Like…ever!" Scott tried to defend himself.

"Thanks guy, like throwing gold trimming on a massacred corpse." He walked away from Scott. "He's denying our relationship. Go ahead and kick his ass." Wallace stepped out of the snow and turned. Grinning Michael cracked his knuckles.

"So the little squealer tried to get out of it."

"No no I'm really- Wallace!" With a tremendous leap Michael was flying at Scott again. Gasping Scott dodged it, letting his attackers foot to go through the telephone pole behind him. "Wallace please! Tell him we're not dating!"

"We're not?" He looked down at his hands, cleaning his nails.

"You suck! You really suck!" Turning he pulled his sword out, but as he went to swing, the blade broke. Gasping he dodged the best he could. Why had his sword broken? That's when it dawned on him, he couldn't use a sword of love and self respect that he got when he was fighting for Ramona! First because when Ramona left it broke his heart, and second because he'd gotten that self respect after admitting he cheated on Knives with Ramona. A hard fist smashed him in the face, knocking him across the street and into a tree.

"Now we finish this!" Michael growled flying through the air. His fist on fire. "FIST OF A DOUCHEBAG BOYFRIEND!" Screaming Scott closed his eyes. He was dead, he was totally dead! He waited for the pain of the fist. A minute went by, then two. Opening his eyes slowly he looked up and there infront of him was Wallace. He was standing over him protectively with a frying pan.

"W-Wallace?" Scott whimpered.

"Wallace?"

"Don't you dare hurt my Scott!" Wallace snarled. Snapping his foot out he kicked Michael back. Jumping up into the air he spun in a circle like Sonic the Hedgehog and came down frying pan first, hitting Michael in the head. Michael ends up with his face in a crater in the ground. Jumping back he looks at Scott and growls. "Are you going to kick his ass or let him get up and hurt you?" Dumbfounded Scott pushes himself to his feet. Walking over he waits as Michael begins to push himself up.

"I'm not, his boyfriend." Spinning, Scott whirled around, kicking the man in the face. Bursting into coins Scott stared down at the crater. "Ooo coins!" smiling he bent down, collecting all of his hard earned reward. "Why did I get more for fighting your first evil ex than I did for Ramona's?" He questioned curiously, counting all of the money. "I got about ten dollars here."

"Because who would want to risk their ass for a gay person? Think about it guy." Grabbing a fistful of snow he reached into his pocket and pulls out a washcloth. Wrapping the snow up in the wash cloth he walked over to Scott, gently resting it against his black eye.

"Do you always carry a washcloth around with you?"

"It's incase I throw up guy. I do drink, a lot." He smiled, looking down at Scott. The brunette was pouting, his swollen eye closed.

"Why did you let him attack me?" he whined. "That sucked."

"It was pay back for saying dating me would be disgusting. Now come on, let's go back." Putting the icepack in Scott's hand he turned him around, pushing him towards the house.

"B-But what about the video game and snack party!"

"I'll buy you some snacks and rent some video games, god!" He laughed pushing him, almost slipping on the ice. Scott stumbled heading back towards the house. He beamed at the promise of snacks and video games, but one thing lingered over the promise that bothered him. Who else thought that Wallace and him were dating? And how many ex's did his gay friend have?