Chapter 15: Ascending

I was staring at him in pure shock, we all were. The first words that Adam spoke, the very first words. Just like he showed me. I was afraid I had lost him. I was afraid that he returned to being the same sociopathic child I found in the abandoned pig farm almost two months ago. He was still, devoid of emotion, and covered in blood. There was no denying it; Adam had finally killed someone. Was it only a matter of time? Was it always meant to be the man who made him the way he is? Jace was determined to kill Valentine, not because he wanted to, no because he needed to. Was that what this was about? Maybe Adam needed to do this? Or maybe it was bound to happen with anyone, but unfortunately for Graham… he was the first.

All of these thoughts, questions, and fears were racing through my mind like a Washington Bridge traffic jam. I wanted to reach out to my boy, to hold him, to kiss his head and tell him it was all right. But at the same time I also feared to touch him. He looked as though any movement would startle him from his fantasy that he seemed to be hidden in. Not that it he was actually in a fantasy. But none of us knew what to do!

"As much as you seem to be admiring your work…" Magnus said while slowly approaching the dead body that lay on the ground in front of Adam's feet. "We need to… erm…. Dispose of this waist properly." Magnus slowly bent down to somehow grab the body. For the first time I have known Magnus, he looked so unsure of himself. "What to do with this?" He whispered under his breath, but obviously not low enough for us to not hear it. "I'll have to make special measures." He said while standing straight again, and dug his hand in his pocket, and pulled out a vile that glowed a gorgeous blue. Like it was straight from a magical lake of another world. He popped the cork, and poured the unknown liquid over the body. Right there before our eyes the body began to dissipate. I took one last look at the corpse of a now mutilated man. Adam crushed his skull entirely. His face was absolutely bashed in to the point of it being flat as a pancake. Soon the liquid had consumed all of the body, and all that was left was some bloodstains on the carpet. At this point my eyes had completely left Adam, and what the corner of my vision caught were tears. I turned to him to see that he was trembling like a leaf.

"Adam…?" I crawled closer to him; I saw the tears running down his eyes, and the sobs leaving his lips. He was making more noise this time. He finally found his voice.

"They all left me…" He said. "They always left me!"

0o0o0o0o0o

*Flashback*

"Help me, please." She begged, tears running down her cheeks again. She tried to keep her voice low incase the man heard them. "I can help you, but only if you help me!" She cried. "Please!" He finally moved his head, to look at something, it scared her, maybe the man was coming, but then he turned around and walked to the table that had an assortment of knives lined up neatly next to one another. She saw his hand grasp one, and he turned to face her. Her heart began to race so fast that she felt sick.

He started to walk closer with a knife at hand.

"Please…" She whispered…

He had saw the only grip that held her up on the rope was wrapped around the hook. He knew it was too tight for him to untie it, so he knew the knife was his best chance. He approached her slowly, and he could see in her eyes that she was beginning to panic. He could not speak, not that he wanted to, or else he would let her know he was not going to hurt her. He brought his hand up; his ears were wide open to hear her gasp in fear. Until the rope snapped, and she fell on to her knees.

Adam dropped the knife and turned to face her, he waited until she regained her strength in her arms, and legs. She was grunting in pain with the new use of her muscles. She turned her head to look at him; they held each other's gaze for a moment. Adam looking as innocent as ever. He was waiting for her to take his hand, and finally take him home.

Oh God did he want to go home.

Maybe they had abandoned him, but any place was better than here. He could no longer remember their faces, nor the sound of their voices, but the familiar comfortable atmosphere was still present in his skin, in his memory. Getting more excited by the second, he slowly walked to wards the girl with his hand extended, but she slapped it away, making him jump back and lean against the wall behind him.

"Stay away from me you little shit!" She snapped. It shocked Adam, almost to tears. Then the realization set in; she never wanted to save him, to bring him home. All she wanted was to help herself, just like the two girls before her. He was done, no one cared. His saddened facial expression turned into a malicious stare. No matter…. She won't survive. None of them ever do.

He wanted to be the one to do it this time.

To gut her until her intestines fell to the floor.

But his anger was so evident that he didn't even notice her stand up and limp away… he hadn't even realized anything until he heard her scream

'Good!' He thought to himself. 'I hope he makes it last…'

0o0o0o0o0o0

"She never helped me!" He sobbed. "But no one ever did! I was always left behind…" I watched him as the tears fell like faucets. He still shook violently. "But you…" He finally looked up at me, eyes soaked, and puffy, snot even ran from his noes. "You saved me… you didn't leave me…. So I wasn't going to leave you!" He cried even harder at the sight of my eyes boring into his blue ones. I began to notice more details about him, like even his teeth. He hardly opened his mouth but to eat before. But standing in front of me, in full-fledged tears, his teeth were in full view. He had an overbite, and a very crooked tooth off to the side of his mouth on his upper jaw. He was in terrible need of braces, but a small part of me didn't want to change that, just like Jace's chipped front tooth.

"I was going to leave you…" He said again… and again. "You never left me!"

"I know!" I pulled him into a tight hug as he sobbed into my shoulder. "And thank you!" I said as I squeezed him much tighter.

"They always left me!" He continued to sob.

"Shhh… it's okay now." He body was completely gone, as I held a blood-covered child in my arms as he cried his eyes out. Now was time to give him yet another bath to remove the blood. There were still bloodstains in the carpet, and the guys were arguing amongst themselves on whether or not to get rid of the carpet or find another way. Except Jace who was watching both Adam and I, he seemed to be in awe as he watched me rock a boy whose tears had now soaked my shirt.

"Want me to bathe him?" He asked quietly. I looked at him, thinking that I was going to do it, but I was really the one who needed to figure out the carpet situation since it was my house… or my parent's house. Which they will come home and wonder about the floor either way. So no matter what I was going to need to tell the truth, and probably get them a new carpet.

"Sure," I finally said to Jace. "If you don't mind?"

"Of course not." He said softly. He stood up and came over to Adam, and me when his hands wrapped around Adam, Adam's grip tightened on me.

"Adam," I whispered. "It's only Jace, he's going to give you a bath." Adam's hands loosened from me, and Jace lifted him up, Adam's legs were wrapped around him, and his arms griped Jace's neck tightly, as they both disappeared from my view down the hall.

"Guy!" I shouted at the two boyfriends quarrelling. "We'll just throw away the rug and get a new one."

"Where will you find one exactly like this one, prey tells?"

"We wont!" I said sounding exhausted. "We'll just have to tell the truth! Duh!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o

I put Adam down, he remained quiet, and so did I. The poor child had been through enough for one childhood, I was planning on leaving him be for the night that was the least I could do. I stripped him of his clothes and sat him in the tub; he gripped his knees against his chest, and was still trembling. He let the waterfall on him, the blood running down and slowly disappearing once again. Huh… why does this all seem like déjà vu?

"I'm sorry, Jace." Adam suddenly sobbed. I looked down at him, my eyes full of surprise.

"For what?"

"For being what I feared." He cried into his knees. "You told me not to be what I feared, and I was so scared…" He trailed off in an ocean of tears downing out whatever sense he was making. I bent down to lean over the tub.

"Hey…" I whispered to him. "What are you scared of?"

"O-of what I just did." He stuttered. "I don't want to be like him, but I hated him! All I wanted to do was hurt him, I wanted to destroy him!" He cried even louder. I couldn't help what fell out of my mouth next.

"Well you sure as hell destroyed him alright!"

"Ahhhhh!" He screamed. I panicked that Clary would sprint in here and get all pissed off at what I said.

"No-no-no forget what I said- forget what I said!" I he stopped screaming, but his head was still buried in his knees as he sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed. "Adam," I said his name with as much clarity in my voice as I possibly could. "What you did in there… it wasn't the answer, however, it doesn't dirty your soul either."

"Yes it does!" he shouted.

"No!" I stopped him, and patted his head. "What you did was out of defense, and anger. Everything was bottled up inside, and you let it all out at once- big time." The kid's cries softened, and slowed. "Remember when I told you about my father?" He looked up at me, and nodded.

"Well, he was a very… very bad person. He hurt Clary, her mom, and me. But the sad thing is… no matter how terrible he treated me… I still loved him."

"Why…?" His sobs were finally gone, as he looked at me with such curiosity.

"You know, it is so strange hearing your voice." I laughed, and he giggled. "No, to answer your question… it was because he was my father. He might not have been my real father, but he was all I knew. And in between the bad… there was good."

"But if there was good times and bad, what made you hate him?" He asked me. I let out a breath like I was getting ready to bungee jump off a cliff.

"He sent me away to live where we were staying before we came here, and for a long time I was very unhappy, because I missed him. I was too young and naïve to understand that the way he treated me was abuse. I felt so out of place; like I didn't belong. I was determined to be the best warrior. And I thought that meant that I couldn't care whether I lived or died. Until I met Clary…."

"She saved you too… huh? I smiled at him.

"Yes, she did. She made me feel like I belonged somewhere, like I was home. And I never felt that way anywhere, except with my father. But soon he returned…"

"He did? What happened?" His voice was so high pitched, and full of energy. It was still shocking, and yet so exhilarating to hear it finally. It made me smile, to know my boy could actually speak. And now I get to listen to it.

No wait…. What if he never shuts up? What if he's one of those? Aw shit!

"He tried to hurt Clary, he tried to take her away from me. That is what made me hate him. He knew that she was the only thing that made me happy in so long, and yet he didn't care in the slightest if he took her away from me for good. And he didn't try to take her away literally in the beginning. He made us believe we were uh… brother and sister."

"Ew!" He made a face of disgust. "Wait, I thought you said he wasn't your real dad?"

"He wasn't, but I didn't find that out until he almost actually did take Clary away forever!"

"What did you do?" I looked at him, my face suddenly going serious.

"I was going to kill him…" Adam's face dropped a bit, and his voice dropped too, just above a whisper.

"Did you?"

"Well… no…"

"Doesn't exactly make me feel better, Atticus!" He snapped at me. I must admit that I was impressed. My personality was rubbing off on him.

"Thank you! That is quite a compliment. Atticus Finch," I repeated the name. "I can get use to being called that." Adam rolled his eyes at me. "Seriously, Adam… I was going to, but he… got me first… it's a very long complicated story. I would've if I was faster."

"But you're the fastest person I know."

"Yeah, and I still am, because that son of a bitch is dead. Not by my hand, but he's dead! And if I had done it… trust me… I wouldn't let it get me down for the rest of my life. Killing someone is never the answer, but I like to look at it as a necessary loss. He was evil… just like that man that stole you from your life so long ago!"

"Would God forgive me?" He asked, putting his head down.

"If you ask, and deserve… you shall receive." I tapped his nose, and he smiled. I heard the front door slam, and Clary's voice. I couldn't hear words, but she sounded stressed.

"Hey, I think you're clean, you might want to step out and get dressed." He did as I told, and I handed him a white tank top, and grey sweat pants. He rushed to put them on, and we rushed out the bathroom door. We were practically bumping into each other as we quickly made our way down the hall. We came to the end, and who was standing at the front door, but Luke and Jocelyn… perfect timing?

"What is going on?" Jocelyn's voice sounded harsh. "Why are you all here? You're supposed to be at the institute? Why is Jace with you?" She shot her head in my direction. I put my hands on Adam's shoulders, almost as if his presence would protect me. "Who is this boy? And WHY is there blood in my living room?"