A/N: This Chapter picks up on Wednesday evening exactly where the last chapter left off. Thanks for the reviews and I hope you enjoy!
P.S.: This is a weird sort of chapter I think but it helps set up the next few chapters so I hope you enjoy it and that it does it's job.
P.P.S.: If this chapter sucks please let me know and I will redo it. So please respond both good and bad.
Mount Horizon High School, Agnes, Washington
"I think ex-boyfriend is the key word in that accusation," Daisy said smugly before adding more seriously, "Someone had to clean up the mess you left... It just happened."
"It just happened?" J.J. scoffed as she rolled her eyes.
"Shelby a lot of things happened after you left," Juliette jumped in, "I think Peter wants us all in group after dinner, maybe you two should just go to your corners till then."
"I'm going to kill Scott," J.J. said in a huff before heading off to the dorm leaving Juliette, Daisy, and her team behind her.
J.J. gathered her stuff quickly and headed straight to the shower hoping to wash the grime and frustration off of her.
"This is never going to work," J.J. whispered to herself as she dried off and began getting dressed, "Why the hell did I ask them to come?"
J.J. took a large breath before opening the door and facing not only her team but Juliette as well.
"I don't want to talk about it," She said effectively cutting off Emily who was sitting on the end of Garcia's bed.
"Like that's ever worked before," Juliette looked up from unpacking her suitcase.
"Bite me Queenie," J.J. said briefly slipping back into Shelby before realizing what she said, "Sorry Jules."
"It's not like you've never attacked me for no reason before," Juliette said quietly her voice seeming slightly scratchier than J.J. remembered.
J.J. walked past each teammate refusing to look at them as she made her way over to Juliette's bed.
"Jules," She said softly looking Juliette directly in the eyes, "I'm sorry that I ever made up that stupid nickname. I had no right to treat you the way I did."
"Wow," Was all Juliette said for a minute, "Scott was right; the Shelby I knew was incapable of apologizing."
"We all had to grow up Jules," J.J. smiled before turning around and involving everyone else in their conversation, "Well you did say you wanted to learn more about how Horizon worked Spence."
"What do you mean?" Reid asked nervously as he got his things ready for a quick shower.
"Group after dinner," J.J. said with a small sadistic smile, "It doesn't matter if you're staff or a visitor, if group gets called you have to go."
"Wait, group therapy?" Morgan asked hesitantly.
"After dinner," J.J. said as she sat back down on her bed and started pulling on her socks and shoes, "Here we aren't F.B.I. agents, we're just people."
"F.B.I.? I thought Peter and Scott were joking," Juliette said as she pulled off her bulky sweater revealing a small black tank-top which clung to her almost sickly frame.
"Why is that so hard to believe?" J.J. crossed her arms defensively.
"Because the Shelby I knew should never I mean never ever be allowed to carry a gun," Juliette laughed looking at the look on J.J.'s teammates face.
"Thanks Jules," J.J. laughed realizing that she would have to prove that she'd really changed.
One by one everyone showered and changed and then headed to the cafeteria for dinner.
"That wasn't so awful," Morgan smiled rubbing his stomach as he and the group passed a group of girls who couldn't help but blush and giggle at him.
"He's got to be kidding," Juliette chuckled in unbelief through her nauseas.
"He was on a S.W.A.T. team for years," Hotch said with a rare smile.
"And those guys will eat anything," Emily joked throwing a playful smile at Morgan who was glaring at her.
"Hey guys take a seat anywhere in the circle," Peter smiled as the large group came into the main lodge.
"This is gonna be fun," Morgan said sarcastically. Out of the team he and J.J. disliked department mandated therapy sessions the most.
"It's not that bad," J.J. said as she took the seat across from him.
"Ok gang tonight we're just going to do a simple introduction and then free discussion," Peter started with a large warm smile on his face, "Hopefully if we get everything aired tonight we won't have any more screaming matches in front of the students."
J.J. and Daisy quickly looked at each other and then turned away and waited for Peter to start again.
"Just your name, where you're originally from, and something real about yourself," Peter said making sure to look at each and every person in the group, "This isn't mandatory but I hope everyone will participate. I want you to be really honest and open up, something you normally wouldn't talk about or tell others."
After a few grumbles and other unpleasant sounds Peter began, "I'll start us off. Peter Scarborough, I'm from New York, and my rock bottom was when I woke up in an alley in Seattle with no memory of the previous week and cuts and bruises all over my body."
As soon as Peter finished he looked to his right and Sophie began, "Sophie Becker-Scarborough, I'm from Michigan, and when I see pregnant teens I get angry I want to scream because I know that most of them don't want something I would die to have."
"Juliette Waybourne," Juliette began before taking a deep breath, "I'm from Colorado, and I'm terrified that my two beautiful daughters will grow up hating their bodies because of how much I hate mine."
"Auggie would never let that happen," Sophie said as she pulled a crying Juliette close to her and motioned with her head for Scott to continue.
"Scott Barringer," Scott said as his hands fidgeted making him look less confidant than he had earlier in the day, "I'm originally from California, and I was sexually abused by my stepmother as a teen and to this day my father has never truly forgiven me for breaking up his marriage."
Daisy squeezed her husband's hand supportively before her turn, "Daisy Barringer, I hail from Utah, and I'm beyond terrified that I'll become an alcoholic like my parents and ruin our daughters' lives and that they'll end up at Horizon."
"My name is Jennifer Jearau," J.J. said looking at her hands, "I'm from Pennsylvania, and I'm afraid that I'll never meet a man that I can trust with all of myself."
"Jennifer Jearau?" Daisy asked causing J.J. to look up.
"Damnit," J.J. cursed before beginning again, "My name is Shelby Merrick, I'm from Washington, and… I know that nothing I will ever do or anyone I could ever help will make up for the things I've done, especially the things that hurt the people I love."
"It's hard to balance two separate lives isn't it Shel," Peter said hoping she'd understand that she had to combine both of parts of herself if she ever wanted to fully live.
Shelby simply shrugged and then turned towards Reid who looked horribly nervous.
"Do we have to get that personal?" He asked as he pulled his arms tightly around himself.
"This is meant to not only be an introduction but a trust exercise, all we ask is that you push yourself to be who you really are," Sophie smiled at the young doctor.
"Ok. I'm Spencer Reid, I'm from Nevada, and," Reid paused and took a deep breath forcing himself to find something to share, "A-and everyone morning I w-wake up and wonder if this is the day I start to become like my mother. I'm t-terrified that I might start hearing voices and that I won't be able to help people anymore."
"That was good Spence," J.J. smiled and lightly patted his hand reassuringly.
"I'm Penelope Garcia, I'm from Virginia, and hmm," Garcia paused and suddenly got a large smile on her face, "And I'm secretly thrilled that I'm not only on a watch list for the F.B.I. but also the C.I.A."
"Aaron Hotchner, I'm from Virginia, and I'm afraid that if I spank my son I won't be able to stop and I'll turn into my father," Hotch said looking straight at Peter refusing to look at what he could only assume to be pity filled glances from his team.
"Emily Prentiss," Emily said before forcing herself to blink back tears, "I'm from Washington D.C., and now that I'm almost too old to have children and have no prospects I hate myself even more for having an abortion when I was 16."
"This is complete bull," Morgan said bitterly when it was finally his turn.
"What's so awful about sharing a piece of yourself?" Peter asked looking directly at Morgan, though to Morgan it felt as if he could see through him.
"I was 15 and a star football player when my stepmother started forcing me to have sex with her," Scott said causing Morgan to look over at him, "My dad told me that I should've and could've stopped her if I wanted to but the thing is that I was so scared and ashamed of what was happening that I froze and even though I was stronger I couldn't stop a woman who weighed 110lbs from raping me."
"What does that have to do with this?" Morgan asked remembering the shame he felt as a teen and hating how easily Scott could talk about what he'd been through.
"That's my darkest, dirtiest, secret," Scott said refusing to give in to the weakness he was feeling, "This is about being honest with yourself, with others, and letting out things that might be eating at you. Like Peter said you don't have to do this but it might help."
"Fine," Morgan said feeling defeated, "Derek Morgan, Illinois, and…. And, damnit…. When I was a teen my mentor and football coach, he," Morgan faltered before his voice dropped to just above a whisper, "he… he uh, sexually abused me."
The room was silent for a long time as everyone digested each secret that was revealed.
"That was really good everyone. It's a hard thing to open yourself up, but everyone rose to the challenge and I'm really proud of all of us," Peter said when the silence became overwhelming, "Now if there are any beefs that need to be squashed or questions you want answered now is the time to take care of that. The only rules we have are be honest and be respectful."
"How did she die?" Juliette asked not waiting for Peter to choose someone to go first, "How did you know?"
J.J. took a deep breath and then forced herself to keep her tears inside as she spoke, "We were working a case in Seattle, our unsub was targeting prostitutes, she was just lying there, cold, she was so cold."
"Did she suffer?" Daisy asked as she clutched onto Scott's hand for dear life.
"Yes," J.J. said before putting her head down.
"This particular unsub, raped, then carved a message into the stomach of his victim before finally slitting their throat," Reid said without thinking, talking just like he would if he were delivering a profile.
"Seriously Reid?" Morgan scolded as Juliette and Sophie began sobbing.
"Sorry," Reid said awkwardly and pulled himself closer wishing he had just kept his mouth shut.
"Where is Ezra?" J.J. asked fearfully before remembering how angry she was about Jess, "And why the Fuck was my sister selling her body for money? I left her with you Peter, how did this happen?"
"Shelby watch the language," Sophie said before Daisy interrupted.
"Don't you dare blame him!" Daisy shouted before gaining control of her emotions, "This is your fault not his."
"I did what I thought was best for her," J.J. said defending herself though at the moment she felt like if they wanted to take her outback and shoot her they'd have every right.
"After everything she'd been through?" Daisy shouted again before Peter started.
"Jess was raped by a friend her freshman year of college, with that and everything that happened before she got here she fell apart. She started using drugs, she dropped out of school, she came and stayed here for awhile but her spirit was too broken I think," Peter put his head down for a moment before continuing, "She ran away one night and we didn't hear from her for a year, when we did she was using constantly and felt she wasn't worth more than being a prostitute. We tried for years Shel, all of us tried, to help her get clean to help her move on but all she really wanted was you."
"What happened to you?" Scott asked near tears, "We all needed you, especially after Ezra died."
"Ezra's dead?" J.J. asked though what she feared had been confirmed.
"I needed you Shel," Daisy said less bitterly than she'd been before, "What happened to you?"
"I left for Jess as dumb as that seems now," J.J. took in a ragged breath but refused to cry, "I just wanted to give her a better life, I wanted both of us to be able to live."
"Well that didn't work out so well," Daisy said without looking at J.J. afraid that if she did she'd start to cry.
"Not so much," J.J. said looking at her team who looked equal parts horrified and sympathetic.
With that Peter called the group to close knowing without a shadow of a doubt that things were about to get a lot worse for J.J. and everyone else before they got better.