"All Fired Up"

WRITTEN BY DAYNE DINNING

~This fanfic follows directly on from Demons

# Disclaimer – I do not own Emmerdale or any of the characters used. They belong to ITV

This was it; this was the way it would be now - His life. That was all Aaron thought as he lay there on his side on the cold floor of his hospital room, staring at nothing in particular. It wasn't normal to fall off a bed and feel nothing. The urge to explode and let out the long awaited tears was strong but he felt numb and they wouldn't fall, he felt as though he couldn't let them, he would be seen as weak; well that's what he thought people would think. He couldn't have been more wrong.

He heard the door open and he closed his eyes, he didn't want anyone near him, he didn't want help, he didn't want a single ounce of sympathy from anyone – in his own eyes he didn't deserve it.

Cain was horrified when he saw Aaron out of bed, lying on the floor and he rushed to him and fell to his knees by Aaron's side. "What happened? You alright mate?" his tone was panicked.

Aaron was despondent for a few seconds until he finally snapped out of his own thoughts and spoke to Cain. "I dunno...am I?" he frowned.

Cain sighed. "Why do you do that? Hmm?"

"Well you shouldn't ask so stupid questions then!" Aaron snapped.

Cain looked away then back at him. "What happened?"

"I fell out of bed, it's kinda obvious really" he told him matter of factly

"Don't get smart with me"

"I'm not, I just answered your question" Aaron told him as Cain began moving to get his arms underneath Aaron to lift him back up. "I don't need your help!" Aaron shouted from out of nowhere and shook his head violently as his only way of protest.

"You do mate, stop it!" Cain urged. But he struggled. So did Aaron. "Stop!" Cain yelled again.

Aaron grunted angrily as he was being lifted back onto his bed. "I didn't want your help!" he spat.

"I'm gunna ignore that, this time Aaron, you've gotta stop this"

"Stop what? What would you know? You hardly visit...what's this?" Aaron thought. "The first visit in three weeks? I know I'm nothing more to you than staff so why don't you go and do one"

"You know you're more than that Aaron" Cain told him defensively, he was doing everything he could to stop himself from taking Aaron's words to heart. "You're family and a good lad, you have everyone supporting you, and you may find this difficult to believe but it's hard for the rest of us too you know, I hate walking through that door..."

"Don't then"

Cain sighed, ignoring him once again. "That's why I haven't been very good lately; we're all adjusting Aaron..."

Aaron rested his head back on the pillow in disbelief. "Are you having a laugh? Adjusting?"

"Yeah, this isn't just about you, your mum is in bits, Paddy too, and Jackson, he's here at the crack of dawn every single day to be treated like crap by you, I commend him, he's a bigger man than I am...I dunno how I'd cope with a misery like you" Cain was aggressive but it's what Aaron needed. Truth hurts sometimes and the best way is to be cruel to be kind on some occasions at least.

Aaron took a deep breath, his words hit a nerve and a pang of sadness washed over him but he kept it where it was meant to be; locked away inside.

The door opened again and Jackson walked in, immediately sensing a thunderous atmosphere. He frowned. "Everything alright?"

"Oh look who it is! Speak of the devil!" Aaron bellowed with a sharp hatred in his voice.

Jackson's frown deepened. "What's going on?"

"He's on one, I found him lying on the floor, he didn't want help but I lifted him back up anyway" Cain explained as Jackson's eyes widened.

"Oh god...I left the bars down...I'm sorry..."

Cain shook it off. "I wouldn't worry, under the circumstances you'd assume he wouldn't fall out, only an idiot would force himself too"

Jackson's frown turned to a glare in Aaron's direction as he stepped closer to the bed. "Did you fall on purpose?" he asked.

Aaron turned his head away and nodded slightly.

"Why?" Jackson's question was crisp and clear. "Cain can you give us a minute please"

Cain nodded and walked out slowly, looking back at Aaron again before closing the door.

Aaron shrugged.

"You're an idiot do you know that, you might not feel it Aaron, but you could have hurt yourself"

"Oh change the record, it's not like it's a thirty foot drop Jesus..."

Jackson slammed his hands down on the metal bars around the bed in frustration then he stopped and took in a deep breath and calmed himself.

"No go on...get it all off your chest Jackson...I'm not going anywhere"

"No..." he almost mumbled in reply as he shook his head. "I just want to know what's going on in that head of yours"

"I don't think you wanna hear what I have to say" Aaron replied, his tone also a warning.

"I do" Jackson nodded as he lowered his head and looked to the floor.

"You do?" Aaron looked surprised. "Okay then...I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm frustrated, but I'm empty, I'm nothing...just like a blank sheet of paper really..." The tears he'd forced himself to keep locked away steadily flowed out from his eyes and ran down his cheeks and his speech became erratic with each stuttered intake of breath as he cried. "Every day I wake up, all I've got to look forward to is seeing these FUCKING blue walls! And a bed bath! Do you have ANY IDEA how embarrassing that is for me! That's my life! I can't do anything, I can't touch anything, I can't feel, I can't move! I can't experience anything!" Aaron shouted at the top of his voice bitterly.

Jackson remained with his eyes looking down at the floor with glassy red teary eyes. He watched each tear as they fell and hit the floor. "It'll get better Aaron" Jackson's tone was sombre.

Aaron laughed. "Yeah really? Well you know what, I wish that train just killed me, it would have saved a lot of trouble, pain and heartache and made the world a better place if I was just gone!"

Jackson lifted his head quickly and looked at him and walked closer to him. "You don't mean what you're saying Aaron, this is just the beginning of it all sinking in for you and you're hitting rock bottom but I'm here to help you, everyone is"

Aaron had never looked so nastily at Jackson before in the entire time they had known each other. "You have no idea how much I'd love to punch you - again...but I'd do a better job than the last time!"

Jackson froze, and he stood staring down at him, his eyes not looking at anything in particular.

"I HATE you Jackson, and I blame you, you've ruined my life!" Aaron cried so hard his words were just audible. He lowered his head, distraught and broken. "I think you should leave and don't bother coming back"

"You don't mean it Aaron" Jackson was blank, everything around him slowed and intense waves of heat washed over him as floods of tears escaped him.

"I do Jackson, all my life is now comes down to me feeling like I'm trapped, suffocating...It's like I'm invisible and in my dreams I reach out to touch you but I wake up and my arms don't move..." Aaron broke down again and his crying intensified. "It doesn't move, I try but it doesn't do it and it's your fault...I think..." he let out a shaky breath. "I think its best you weren't a part of my life anymore...trust me; It'll save you anymore heartache"

"You're wrong...again!"

"No Jackson I'm not...I want you to get out now! I mean it, we're done! Get out! And when you go out there you can tell whoever is out there that I don't want any visitors anymore, close or slam the door on your way out, i don't really care" Aaron spat, and allowed himself to relax and sink his head into the pillow as he turned it away from Jackson.

Jackson left slowly, shell shocked and stunned to his core. Aaron's words were clear and because of his own guilt he was fine with Aaron blaming him but it still hurt. He closed the door to the room quietly, Cain was sat down, he'd been listening and held his hand up to his forehead and a very worried nurse stood ready to walk in. "He doesn't want any more visitors..." Jackson wiped his eyes and started walking away.

"Good job I'm not a visitor, I'll try talking to him"

"Oh what's the point hmm?"

"Jackson? You of all people can't give up on him" Cain told him.

"You heard what he said in there, I'm done Cain, I can't help someone who doesn't wanna be helped" Jackson's shoulders slumped and he turned and carried on walking.

Cain frowned and got up. "Hey no! You're not walking out on him Jackson" Cain rushed over to him and grabbed both of his shoulders tightly to stop him and he turned around.

"Ahh mate don't cry..." Cain told him. "I'm no good with all this" he was honest but pulled him into a hug anyway. "You know what Aaron's like"

Jackson pulled away and looked at Cain. "yeah I do, but I can't ignore that outburst, I know I promised myself and him I'd be there but I can't I need some time away and he wants that so that's what I'm going to do, call me what you like...I'm past caring mate" he looked at him thoughtfully and walked away.

To Be Continued...