"Downward Spiral Part Two"

WRITTEN BY DAYNE DINNING

~This fanfic follows on immediately after Downward Spiral Part One

# Disclaimer – I do not own Emmerdale or any of the characters

Aaron was brought out from his thoughts as the smell of bacon caught his attention...the smell of burning bacon and he was in the house alone. Paddy was at work, and the door to the surgery was closed, it always was now since the living room had been changed to Aaron's bedroom. And what exactly was he going to do? Roll up to the door and hopefully the front of his chair would hit the door and cause a bang and get Paddy or Rhona's attention.

No, not yet anyway, he was going to try this first. "JACKSONNN!" he yelled as loudly as possible hoping, just hoping that he was near the house still. He began to panic slightly as the smoke rising from the pan made its way down the stairway and spreading slowly into the wet room and his room. He couldn't hear the clicks and clacks of fire, so that was good at least...but still, this wasn't a situation the tetraplegic lad thought he'd find himself in.

"Help!" he yelled again after realising Jackson was probably long gone, served him right though for treating him like that.

Debbie burst in the door moments later. "Jesus what's going on? Frightened the life out of me when I walked past..."

Aaron took a breath after shouting so loud and for so long. "Jackson left some bacon in the pan..."

Debbie turned and saw the smoke. "Bloody hell!" she ran to the stairs and went upstairs and into the kitchen and turned the pan off then threw the bacon in the bin, she opened some windows and came back down. She looked at him as she thought.

"Thanks..." Aaron replied sheepishly. "What?" he asked when he saw the look on her face.

"I don't believe Jackson is so stupid to have left that on for so long...where is he?" she asked.

"Gone." He put it simply.

"Why? Where?"

"Because I told him too and I don't know where..."

"You've been arguing again?" she asked as she sat in front of him.

Aaron nodded. "I'm not going into details but he's better off just getting on with his own life. Away from me"

Debbie sighed and shook her head. "I'm gunna have to tell your mum...if Jackson's not around, Paddy can't pack his job in..."

Aaron nodded. "I know..."

Debbie nodded pleased that he didn't argue. "I've gotta go but is there anything i can get you before I do?" she asked.

He shook his head. "But you can leave the door open for me if you don't mind?"

Debbie stood up. "Sure but don't go anywhere...she'll kill me..."

Aaron chuckled. "I won't, she'll be over in no time I expect though..."

"Very likely...listen Aaron..." she said as she stood at the door. "He obviously cares more about you than his own life at the minute, not many lads his age would do what he's done for you these past months, you need to lay off him"

Aaron nodded subtly. "Like I said...he's gone"

Debbie gave in and left and Aaron followed her out and stopped himself just as his chair emerged over the threshold of the front door...well his front door, he was grateful for the cold air.

As he breathed it in, he looked around the village and he saw Jackson standing outside Dale head leaning against the wall. He had to apologise at least he thought. "Jackson!" he yelled again. "Wait there!"

Jackson looked up towards Aaron's voice and saw him in his chair outside Smithy. He began to walk up to him quickly. "No Aaron don't!" he cautioned.

Aaron quickly rested his head back into the brace a bit too quickly which in turn sent his chair along and onto the grass a bit too fast and his speed picked up as the gentle slope of the ground pulled him faster.

Pearl had just left Leyla's and Cain heard from the garage and they turned as the shouting caught their attention and Chas heard it as she stormed out of the pub after being updated by Debbie. She frowned and looked up to Aaron and she began to run as he was rolling a little too quickly for her liking.

Jackson's pace increased to a run.

Aaron was only concentrating on Jackson and his desire to apologise that he hadn't saw the small drop onto the road, a drop that the chair would not handle, and it didn't. Aaron and the chair fell forward and Aaron's face scraped along the road as he impacted the concrete.

Cain now began to run.

"Aaron!" Chas screamed and ran up to her son; she and Jackson were first there.

Chas got to her knees and reached beneath her son and clicked the strap button and they released. "Move the chair Jackson"

Jackson slowly moved it away from Aaron's body and it was free.

"We've gotta get him off the road..."

Cain stopped and the sight of his nephew lying awkwardly face down choked him slightly. "I'll get him"

Aaron was unresponsive now, he didn't speak one word, and his stare was blank. Jackson held onto the chair as Cain placed Aaron back in the chair. "Ohhh better get that sorted mate..." he referred to the bloodied scratches on the side of his face as he kneeled down in front of him. "Bit stupid wasn't it kid?"

Aaron flinched his eyebrows. "I just wanted to see Jackson, to apologise"

Cain and Chas shot a look at Jackson.

"We argued, he told me to get on with my life without him etc..." Jackson explained.

"And you left him! You know not to listen to him when he's like that!" Chas shouted.

"Oh so because I'm a cabbage, that means that my wishes should be ignored is that right?" Aaron shot back.

Chas sighed.

"He has a point sis" Cain agreed with Aaron.

"No love...I didn't mean it li-" she sighed again. "Let's get inside, I bet you're freezing"

Aaron shook his head. "I quite like it actually...and the pain, yes before you ask, feels bloody fantastic"

Back inside Smithy, Chas and Jackson were left with Aaron as Cain had to get back to work, but he said he'd drop in later.

"So what's going on then boys?" Chas asked.

"Aaron can explain but I think I need to stay at home tonight..." Jackson told her.

"That's fair enough, you can't be expected to do everything..." she understood that.

Jackson nodded. "But to make it clear..." he shot a look to Aaron. "I want to do this with you, I love my life with you despite the circumstances, I don't want to change that, and I' am up to it, I'll come by tomorrow and we'll talk alright?"

Aaron was shot down and he just nodded.

Jackson looked at Chas who nodded at him before he left.

"And now there are two...I'll just go and get something to clean you up with" she smiled and then ran up the stairs.

In the silence his mind was working in overdrive. Countless thoughts whirled around in there, and a thought came back to him, one he'd had many times ever since the crash but chose to shove it aside, but this time was different it was staying firmly in the forefront of his mind, and he liked it now. The whirlwind storm within him calmed and he seemed content with that thought, that decision.

Several hours later it was dark, Paddy, Rhona and Chas were upstairs cooking tea, and he assumed that his mother was filling them in on the day's events. Weird...he thought, the day was planned to be a hung-over lazy day...so much changed in those hours since.

There was a knock at the door. "Come in"

The door opened. "Hey mate, your mum text me asking me to come up" Adam said.

"Yeah I told her too" Aaron smiled. "Sit down"

Adam sat down on the bed and looked at him. "Ouch..."

"I went for a stroll" he smirked. "Well me and Jackson argued, I said some horrible things...I wanted to apologise...but I was going to fast and hit the road"

"What was it about this time?" he asked.

"I told him that he wasn't cut out to care for me and that he should move on with his life and not be lumbered with me" Aaron explained.

"It's a bit harsh mate..."

"I know and it's true though..."

"Why go to apologise then?" Adam frowned.

"Because I wouldn't have let it out normally but I got so wound up of everything, my situation, my life...I hate it Adam I really do..." tears came to his eyes as he looked at his best mate.

"Ahh come on Aaron..." he put his hand around the back of his neck. "It's only been a few months...you have the rest of your life to adjust to this..."

Aaron rested his head back. "I'm sorry; I know it's always the same old story..."

"No...No...this is what mates are for...I'd do anything to help you mate I would but the sad truth of it is, nothing can help you get back to the lad you were, I loved that Aaron and I love the Aaron you're becoming you're so brave..."

Aaron shook his head as his eyes were flooded by tears; he had to catch his breath. "I'm not..." he said as he sobbed.

"Yes you are" he told him again.

"I can't live like this Adam...and this is horrible for you to hear and for the others to hear when they do but I don't want to live anymore...I can't do it"

Adam's mouth partly fell open, there was something in his tone and the words he spoke that told him that this wasn't just because of his situation, this was real and Aaron was telling him. Adam watched Aaron turn away, crying hard.

Adam swallowed hard. "You have too" and Aaron just shook his head. "I don't want too and I don't have the energy to live the next fifty or so years pretending to be happy when I'm not and I never will be. I know that. All I've done is cause pain to the people that I love and I'm still doing it now...and I can't carry it on..."

Adam frowned. "What are you asking me to do Aaron...?" he asked slowly.

Aaron turned back to his clearly distraught and frustrated friend. "I think you know Adam" he told him quietly.

Adam lowered his head as his emotions caught up with him. "I'm not helping you to die Aaron...you're my best mate"

"I know that...I want this Adam...and I'm not saying it because of the kind of day I've had...I'm saying it because I've had this thought on and off since the accident...I can't do it alone. I need your help mate"

Adam put his head in his hands and his shoulders jerked up and down as he cried.

"I know it's a big ask"

"damn right?" Adam shot up out of his chair. "No granted you can't feel anything and you can only move your head yeah its terrible...and to be honest yes I can understand you asking me that but you have your family and friends around for support, can you think what this would do to your mum? Paddy? Me? What about Jackson Aaron?" Adam sighed. "I-I can't think straight...I feel for you mate and I understand you're serious but this is..." he stepped back towards the door. "...it's just too much..."

"No Adam please..." he stopped when Adam walked out and it slammed seconds later.

Aaron sighed and rested his head back and closed his eyes, and then the door opened again. It was Cain. "Who rattled his cage?"

Aaron opened his eyes and shrugged. "I dunno..."

"Mum upstairs is she?"

Aaron nodded and Cain went up to find her leaving Aaron alone to his own thoughts.

TBC...