"Fading"

WRITTEN BY DAYNE DINNING

~This fanfic follows on a few hours laterafter Mamma Knows Best

# Disclaimer – I do not own Emmerdale or any of the characters

"Right you boys ready?" Chas called as she walked as quickly as possible down the stairs in her high heels, all dressed up.

Aaron smiled. She looked beautiful but would he hell tell her that and he looked at Adam who seemed to be staring somewhat. Aaron faked a cough. "Don't even dare you" he warned playfully.

"Dare what?" Chas asked as she turned around from one final check in the mirror.

"Nothing" Adam quickly replied and eyed Aaron with a frown.

Chas mumbled. "Alright then... Where's Jackson?"

"He's already in the pub..."

"Ahh well don't blame him, let's go then" she ordered.

The pub was packed as they entered. Aaron stopped himself in the doorway and sighed. "Nah mum...let's just go yeah its too busy, they don't want this thing cluttering up the place"

Chas frowned and leaned down to him. "Tough" she flashed a sarcastic smile and stood straight again. "Excuse me! Coming through!"

The villagers turned when Chas shouted her and Aaron's way to a free table. Jackson turned he was already quite drunk, he didn't move from his stool at the bar. Adam sat beside Aaron and Chas planned to sit on the other side of him. She saw Jackson just sitting at the bar drowning his sorrows, she marched up to the bar to get the drinks and stopped beside him. "And what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Getting absolutely paralytic"

"And that's funny is it?" Chas hissed.

"I don't find it funny in the slightest" he said as he placed his glass on the bar after finishing his pint.

Chas grabbed his arm. "Outside. Now!" she warned quietly.

Jackson lowered himself off the stool a little unsteadily but he managed and he walked past his man and Adam followed by Chas. "Sorry boys, grab yourselves a drink I'll be back in a bit"

"What's going on there?" Adam wondered.

"Beats me...feels like I don't know him anymore..."

"Yeah well ditto" that's all Adam said in reply then he got up and went to the bar.

"What are you playing at?" Chas let rip as soon as they were both outside. "I mean yeah this is hard Jackson but what kind of impression are you trying to give him eh? Not a damn good one I know that, it's like you don't care!"

"You're wrong Chas!" Jackson shouted back. "I'm doing an impression of someone who doesn't know what the hell to do!" He screamed in her face, the pain and anguish oh so clear on his face.

"You and me both kidda" she pulled him in fast and held him tight. "You and me both...clear your head yeah? Come on, be strong for him" she pushed him away gently and looked him in the eye.

"I'm trying Chas, I am but he wants to die for Christ sake! I couldn't imagine life with him gone, none of us can and that pain is here already because he is gone...he's set on his decision Chas, I can tell and nothing we do or say is going to change his mind"

"But he's agreed to try let's just see where this takes us..." Chas told him but then frowned when she heard a bit of commotion in the pub.

**A FEW MINUTES EARLIER**

Aaron and Adam were chatting and Adam held his drink up for him whenever he needed it but apart from that it was like old times and they were really having a laugh, and that was the last thing Adam was expecting from tonight.

A few tables away Carl King was saying his goodnights to friends and family who were going to remain in the pub, as he was speaking he was stepping back and as he'd finished speaking he turned and knocked into Aaron's chair and lost his balance and almost fell onto him.

"Whoa watch it!" Aaron yelled.

Carl stood straight again. "What a surprise...you always were a good for nothing idiot...and now...you prove me right...shouldn't be in the way then should ya..." Carl looked up again and stepped to the door, when he opened it Chas was stood right in front of him with a face like thunder and without warning, she raised her hand and whacked him hard across his face with the palm of her hand. "Don't you dare! Speak to my son like that! He has every right to be in this pub whether you like it or not!" she spat angrily.

"Mum, its fine..." Aaron told her.

"No, it's flipping not; you should be treated with more respect"

"Mum..." he calmed her, or tried too.

"Move out of my way" she said to Carl and he smirked and stepped aside to allow her and Jackson back inside.

As Chas and Jackson sat with them Aaron began to feel a little strange. "I need to go home...I don't feel well..."

The three of them frowned in worry. "Aaron...don't let him get to you..." Jackson told him with a smile.

"No...No I'm not...I feel dizzy...and...I just wanna go..."

"Okay handsome...it's alright..." Jackson soothed. "Will you two just stay here a while...I'll take him..." he told them as he stood and grabbed his jacket.

Chas gave him a wink and a quick nod. Jackson smiled.

"Come on then you...let's get you in bed...and maybe those two will bring back some food"

"We will" Adam sighed as he settled back into the chair.

When Aaron and Jackson left, Chas and Adam were sat in a deflated, depressed silence. "Great idea mum...yeah lets all go out..."

"Don't be like that Chas it was nice to get out and I saw a glimpse of the old Aaron..." Adam explained with a smile.

"Yeah...he was smiling, laughing and joking around until he knocked into him..."

"I had a thought earlier...but I wasn't sure..."

"Go on?" Adam was interested.

"I was thinking maybe we could go away...and you too if you wanted...maybe somewhere by the sea, up in Northumberland...it's nice up there apparently..."

"That's a great idea...I'll sort it...leave it with me..."

Chas frowned. "You sure?"

"Yeah" Adam nodded. "I'll do anything Chas..."

Back at Smithy, Jackson had given Aaron some tablets, changed his bag and got him settled in his bed. Aaron stayed quiet most of the way back, but Jackson did receive a grateful smile as he'd lifted him onto the bed.

"How you feeling?" Jackson asked.

Aaron nodded. "Better...I don't know what happened...I just suddenly felt sick and dizzy..."

"You're in safe hands now" Jackson smiled as he sat on the bed next to him.

"I know I 'am..." Aaron smiled. "Listen...I want you to know that I'm sorry...I'm sorry for the way I'm feeling...Sorry for wanting what I want at the minute, it's horrible for you lot I see it in your eyes every day and I'm sorry for that and I know your trying Jackson, but this hole I'm in..." he shrugged. "Ahh I don't need to go into all that again"

"I know you're sorry, and I can understand why you feel the way you do...it's just something I can't accept that's all"

"I know" Aaron nodded.

"You know a while ago, the day you fell..."

Aaron nodded.

"And you said, very calmly and sure of yourself that you didn't love me...you've never even said that you do..."

Aaron thought, and Jackson could see the cogs working overtime and he smirked. Aaron took in a breath and looked Jackson in the eyes. "But I do love you Jackson...you told me I'd realise it one day...and I did...after the accident...you were there...you're always there for me..." while he spoke Jackson just cried silently, in complete shock. "You're always here, your smell...I remember your touch...those lips...you've been amazing and I love every bit of you I'm just so sorry that I never realised it in time...I might still be in one piece if I had"

"Nobody knows how their lives are gunna turn out or how their actions will affect things..."

"I know..." Aaron trailed off.

There was silence for a few seconds. "You're just going along with all of us aren't you? Your mum especially..."

"To give her and you and Adam a sense of hope yeah...I'm telling you Jackson because you need to know...your plans aren't going to work...I just wanna die now...I can't take it...as you know...but I'll love you forever...and I'll come back if I can..."

"I love you so much but you're breaking me here..." Jackson sobbed.

"I don't mean too Jackson..." Aaron was very content and calm and that's what upset Jackson the most. "I don't want to mess you all around what with you lot arranging things...it's a waste of time and I need to tell them that...it's only right"

Jackson nodded as he wiped his eyes.

"Don't cry Jackson"

"How can I not?" he dropped his head in his hands. "You're my world Aaron Livesy...everything and I need you"

"I'm not doubting that Jackson but I need you to move on with your life and find someone else who will love you as much as I do, or more if that's possible...I know you wouldn't think it but the feelings I have for you are unexplainable..."

Jackson looked at him and smiled.

"Come here" Aaron told him and he moved closer to him and Aaron kissed his lips as he began to cry too.

"Not yet though Aaron...please?"

Aaron shook his head. "No...Not yet...I need to tell those two and then say some goodbyes...This wasn't your fault Jackson..."

"It doesn't stop me blaming myself every single day" he admitted as he sat back

"But I don't blame you...isn't that what's important?" he asked.

"I can't help you Aaron but I'll be there when you decide when it's time..."

Aaron frowned. "Really?"

Jackson sobbed and caught his breath. "Yeah..."

Aaron cried harder and lowered his head. "Thankyou" he said as the door opened and the smell of pizza wafted inside the room.

Adam and Chas suddenly stopped; the atmosphere in the room was overwhelming. "What's wrong?" Chas asked.

Jackson looked at Aaron who nodded his approval and then Jackson wiped his eyes and cleared his throat. "You both need to sit down..."

TBC...