Lurbe here. I'm not sorry for not posting, so I don't need to ask for forgiveness or say I'm sorry for being delayed, when it is fictional and just a popularity scheme. And I don't need to add "we" because it is my turn to post and therefore the responsibility falls on me, not on Pixi. We both wanted this work to come in just two parts (Klaos and Pai), but alas time grew short and we had not finished our respective sections. We also wanted to increase suspense and reader requests concerning about what we should write (that was uncharacteristically subtle of me). We need your input; regardless of how much we like it, although so far we haven't been disappointed by our readers. Therefore, I sign off, leaving you all with the disappointment of not reading a complete work and having to wait ages for the sequel and with the suggestion of one of you duffers leaving critical (here meaning "criticizing", not "of great importance") comments.

Close Encounters Of the Hench Kind
Part I: Klaos Blackadder Goes to the Big (and Dirty, and Corrupt) City

"Hmph." Klaos snorted as Pai led him along the road that led to the entrance. All around them they were besieged by offers from various other adventurers. Pai carefully sorted through the ranks, searching for someone willing to venture out pro bono.
" Kai Ying! What're you doing here?" Pai's voice rose excitedly as she recognized her former instructor.
"Oh! Hello again, Pai! It's good to see you too, um... I'm just... traveling?"
Klaos rolled his eyes and kicked up some dirt with his toe.
"For hire?" Asked Pai incredulously.
"Well, you know... I mean..." His voice trailed off.
"What about your students? I mean, who's teaching them? What's -"

Kai Ying smiled grimly.

"You don't -" Pai's voice stuck in her throat.
Before Kai Ying could answer, a voice behind them made the group turn around.

"Hey gorgeous," drawled Panuku, "What're you doing with an old earth-bag like him? Come on sweets, let's go adventuring. We don't need him." The sly assassin shot a nasty glance at Kai Ying as he draped his arm lovingly around Pai's shoulders, drawing her closer to him.

"Hey!" Klaos came up beside his own former 'instructor'. "What do you think you're up to, huh? Leave her be, eh?" Klaos gave Panuku a slight shove, as if to enforce his position. For Klaos, this was a stretch: most of the time, he was scared silly of the older assassin.

Sensing this weakness, Panuku fired back, "Oh, really? And what are you gonna do about it? Cry? You worm. You're not good enough for this ravishing babe; why don't you go practice on the newbie healers?" He gave Pai a squeeze, causing her to yelp with surprise.

Rather than back off, Klaos, deus-scit-cur, drew his daggers, and held them out at Panuku.

"You know the rules: she's still underage. You're not allowed to...you know... with students! It's against the rules!"

Pushing away the sneering Panuku, Pai lunged at Klaos, slapping him hard.

"Klaos! Claude tuum os! Leave it, ok? I know what I'm doing; I'm not stupid. You can't just get jealous when a guy comes up and talks to me. We need help; ok? We're not going to get anywhere if you keep alienating everyone that we can get to come with us! Just go away, ok? I can look after myself, thank you very much."

Stunned by the rejection, Klaos slumped away. Seating himself on a rock around the corner, he waited for the world to turn around him.

"Well, hey! You're a cutie! You doing one of those quests or what?"
"Shut up Tai; you healers piss me off."
"You're just being grumpy." Tai giggled annoyingly. "Hey, girls, come see what I found!"

"Shove off," growled Klaos, half-heartedly, prompting another spurt of giggles from the healer.
"You're so silly!" Tai sat herself down on Klaos's lap, causing him to jump up, throwing her to the ground and stalking away.

He didn't get far before Taya, the other light-headed healer, lunged out and grabbed at his shirt, cutting herself painfully on his sharp armor.
"Get lost, puella. This is my territory." Turning away from the stunned Tai, Taya focused her attention once again on the helpless assassin. "So," she murmured, slipping up closer, "Want to go adventuring; I know a good quest. Really good. Whadda ya say, huh?"
"No! Mi Di! C'mon, laissez-moi tranquille, eh? Just leave me alone! Huh?" Klaos turned and ran around a street corner. Too busy looking back at the disgusted Taya, he didn't even notice that there was already someone occupying the overall area he was trying to run through. Klaos tumbled heavily, landing on a pile of filthy rags. Turning, he recognized –

"Professor? What're you doi - "Peering through the gloom, Klaos suddenly recognized the glowing object that Gai held.
"A mushroom?"
Gai turned his blank stare towards Klaos. "H-h-h-ey, son-n-n-ey-y: w-w-wou -" Klaos didn't stay long enough to finish hearing Gai's proposition.

Tiptoe-ing out of the alleyway, Klaos reached a dingy building. It was grimy and looked as though years of being pelted with Deus-scit-quid had not been helped by a failure to wash the ancient structure. Quickly weighing his chances of walking into an expensive restaurant versus a shady tattoo parlor, Klaos decided that he didn't care that much and went in.

It was a pub.

Feeling very self-conscious, the small assassin slowly made his way up to the front, only to find that they carded. Someone said something Klaos couldn't make out, and he turned his already reddened face to find Talon Silverwing leering at him before he turned around to announce to the whole room of semi-drunk professionals, "Ggggueshh wh ddnng hhhabb hhib uuaaaeeiii deeu." He then turned to the assassin in question, whose reddened face reflected nicely off his polished jumpsuit. "Shubbb eff. Ywwwe tt yying tt bbbu hurr."

The bartender, sensing an opportunity to gain money and popularity, offered, "Naw, let's give 'im a shot. 'E's got to larn 't at some time." The assembled crowd, which seemed to be growing as news of the newbie spread, all quieted and leaned in eagerly as the bartender poured the unfortunate what appeared to be a small glass of rice wine.

Klaos, whose original intention it had been to ask for directions to the nearest youth hostel, now found himself the focal point of a room of mostly drunk, aggressive fighters who easily got bored of being hired for little to no cost for going out and helping some newbie kill mantids and pretending to be really weak and stupid so as not to intimidate them and get another sexual-assault charge from the female elementalists. He stared at the glass of the liquid of an indeterminable colour and gulped audibly. If he'd had an Adam's apple, it would have bobbed here. When shrinking into the background didn't work, Klaos silently (and quickly) went over his options, cursing himself for not having taken the time to learn the Shadow Arts. At the absence of other options, Klaos shut his eyes tight, scrunched up his face, and took a small sip.