Pix speaking. Some oddities with the document-uploading system have prevented this installment from looking pretty. Perhaps it's my computer, but work with me here and pretend it looks as nice as all the other ones. Gratias tibi, amici mei.

(Sorry Lurbe. Can't have them thinking you're the only one who can speak in tongues.)

Kai Ying Nearly Falls off a Cliff
(Part Two of Pix's Henchie Series)

"Hard to believe he's supposed to be your role model, or summat," Klaos said. "Maybe just mon avis, my humble opinion, sed I wouldn't goad a Yeti like that even if I had… eh, quo modo dicet? Auxilium."

"Aid," Pai offered helpfully, "would be the word you're looking for."

"Jea. Which he doesn't have."

A couple of wounded Yeti's bellows sounded from a number of kilometres away, and Pai jumped a little, annoying Klaos, whom she nearly managed to knock off the hill.

"I hope he'll be all right," Pai fretted, appearing conflicted about watching her teacher fight from afar, "thank Balthazar he's not a hydro, though. Or worse, an aeromancer; you simply can't take them anywhere – "

Klaos frowned. "One of your friends, she's an aero, eh?"

"Did I say she was a good one? No, I didn't. Listen when I speak."

Klaos began to sourly mutter something about PMS.

A number of yards away, stalagmites burst from the ground under the Yeti's feet, spearing bloody wounds in its legs and stomach and making the groaning beast sway dangerously. Its enormous white fist descended, and although Pai's geomancer instructor had to perform a comical lunge to clear its path, two more jagged points exploded from the end of his staff, tearing into skin and spilling blackish blood in torrents.

"Oh, come on," Kai Ying complained when the Yeti rose once again, although Pai could see very plainly that the longer the beast stayed alive, the more he was enjoying himself.

"Klaos," Pai said worriedly, prodding the assassin in the shoulder, "let's go help him. He is my teacher, after all; I wouldn't like them to say I didn't at least make an effort…"

Various expletives of a goading nature floated over to their lookout as Kai Ying backed away, apparently gathering the energy to release another barrage of spells. His insults carried on unhampered, rising in volume and acridity with confidence as the Yeti appeared to teeter. "Foul creature! Thin-skinned lummox! Can't even stay on your two feet without toppling over; all I did was nick you - "

And then suddenly, with a surprised yelp, he disappeared over the crest of the precipice that had been sneaking up behind him the entire time.

Pai blinked in astonishment before registering that her teacher had just fallen over a cliff, and consequently shrieked so loudly that Klaos had to hold his ears in pain.

Unfortunately, this entailed the Yeti suddenly and blearily noticing that they were there – although as soon as it advanced two steps towards the quickly approaching duo, its knees buckled and it fell over, laying still long enough for Pai to hurdle it with Klaos in tow.

"Instructor!" she screeched. Klaos could not help but be amused at the way her arms flailed when she ran, but quickly composed himself when he remembered that laughing in the face of death was not nearly polite in this country – and if Pai turned around and saw him, she would probably not share his enthusiasm or his good cheer.

The tiny pyromancer nearly toppled over the overhang herself when she leaned over it. "Instructor - ?"

She trailed off lamely, and as Klaos came to a stop beside her, he wasn't sure whether or not it was appropriate now to laugh – Kai Ying was sitting on the shelf that opened a few feet below the precipice, apparently where he had fallen, and was currently fixing them with a quizzical stare.

"You idiot!"

Both men looked in surprise at Pai, whose arms were crossed, and whose face held a perfectly livid expression that didn't fit her features. "Well. I don't know what to say. I've got half a mind just to leave you there! After all, that's what I'd be doing if you'd gone and fell a thousand feet and died."

Whatever cheer had previously been on the elder elementalist's face promptly disappeared. "Don't be ridiculous, Pai. It was just a momentary lapse of attention. Look, I'm all right."

"Shut up," she said with an accusatory glare. "Klaos, help him up."

"What?" Kai Ying replied, and then quickly, "No, I can – "

At a simple glance from Klaos, which conveyed very clearly that even a fellow elementalist was highly flammable, and that Pai did have a tactical advantage if fighting were to break out, Kai Ying meekly accepted the proffered hand.

For some reason, Pai's anger seemed to dissipate instantaneously, and although she didn't giggle and crack a joke, as both might have liked, she seemed somewhat less irate than before.

"Promise you'll never do it again, and I shan't be mad at you any longer."

"I swear on Melandru's good name," the geomancer obliged, "from now on, I shall always watch where I am going."

"Good," Pai said, "you do realize that you almost died."

"It happens," he said idly, and then with a curious frown, "Are you two going around here alone? That's - "

Evidently he was about to say 'dangerous', but appeared to think better of it.

"Naw, actually," Klaos replied, looking back over his shoulder, "Well, without a healer, we might as well be… it's Zho. You know her, right? Teachers always do."

"Well enough. We were keeping watch for Afflicteds in the Bluffs, but – gods only know how – a pack of Sensalis got us separated."

"She got sidetracked when she saw a Black Moa."

"Typical. I don't suppose she managed to kill it."

"No… there was a rampaging Yeti in the area."

"They do tend to ruin things, don't they?"

"I wonder where she's got off to? She was just behind us – "

A voice reached their ears – one that Klaos thought at first reflex that he might describe as fanatical and overly courageous, and that inspired in Pai a peculiar mélange of alarm and fits of giggling.

"Back, beast of the infernal pits!" it shrieked zealously, "Back I say! Melandru send you to the burning hells whence you sprang!"

All three began to emphatically not know how to react as they recognized Zho's voice – soon, the ranger backed over the crest of a hill, loosing arrows fluidly, and constantly surprising her comrades with the fierceness of her yelling. Very soon after that, a group of five Sensalis appeared over the crest, edging down the hill after her and crowing in unison. However, as soon as they caught sight of the three standing not far away and saw that Zho was slowly backing towards them, they appeared to reevaluate their plan, and shortly turned and began to make their way back over the hill.

Apparently puzzled by their quick retreat – but not too much – Zho halted and began calling after them. "That's right, you craven whelps! Flee from me! Melandru flay you for your cowardice! May she rain brimstone down upon your sorry hides! Let her burn your flesh and sear your foul feathers from your skin!"

"Melandru can only do so many things at once," Kai Ying said, making the ranger start in fear and turn abruptly to face the three.

What was visible of Zho's face became quite red.

"… they made me angry."

"Evidently."

"Melandru smite you, too," she snapped, and then stalked away muttering 'smug bastard,' or something to that effect.

On that happy note, they ran after her and agreed to join up, at least until they managed to reach an outpost relatively unscathed.

End

For the record, I shall now be ending my pieces with "end." I think it makes rather a lot of sense. Also, Zho is by far my favorite hench, although I'm unsure of the reason why.