Hi there!

So, about the delay.. My weekend got totally out of hand, sorry for that. And Monday is was just a zombie, not capable of doing anything useful, let alone write and post a fanfic. So Tuesday it is. But well, I hope you enjoy it anyway! Btw, thanx for all the favorites, alerts and reviews! You guys are the best!

Disclaimer: You think I'd write fanfic if Castle would be mine?

Castle sat in the middle of the couch, with his daughter on his left, and Beckett on his right. He had seen the hesitation in Kate's features when Alexis came to sit next to him. Her eyes already traveled to the big chair next to the couch when he'd called her over and patted on the place next to him. And he was happy when Alexis'd said "Come on, Kate, there's more than enough place for the three of us."

The movie had just ended, and somewhere in the middle Beckett had fallen asleep on his shoulder. She must've been more tired than he'd assumed.

"Dad?" Alexis whispered, "Is Kate asleep?"

"Yeah, I think she is. Must've been pretty tired."

"Well, I'll take care of the dvd-player. Are you gonna leave her here on the couch?"

"No. I think I've got an idea." An all too-familiar glint appeared in his eyes, and Alexis already saw the storm coming.

"No dad. She'd tired, leave her alone, or put her in the guest room. No need to mess with her." And then she walked off, knowing she couldn't do more than give him a warning and hoping he'd follow up her advice.

But this time, he didn't listen. He looked around, searching for some inspiration and stopped when he saw her bowl of melted ice cream. She had eaten the fruit and only a little bit of the ice cream itself. He carefully took it from the coffee table, and held it between them. He looked at her soft features once before he put his finger in the sweet stuff. Oh, this will be the last time she falls asleep during Scream. Nobody falls asleep during Scream. Although he liked the feeling of her leaning against him. Well, he'd choose a boring movie next time so she could fall asleep again without being punished. Sounds fair enough.

The white substance was dripping of his finger, so he dipped his finger extra deep in the bowl and stirred a little bit. Perfect. He carefully brought it to her nose and barely touched it, but enough to leave a white sugary dot behind. She wrinkled her nose, but didn't wake up. Cute. And he continued. Now a little one on her right cheek. She shifted a little, and he froze, but she still stayed asleep. Her left cheek leaned on his shoulder, so he decided to put dot number three on her chin.

He slowly brought his finger just below her partly opened lips, and just when he wanted to tap on her chin, her head shifted a little bit off his shoulder and ended up on his hand. A whole smear of ice cream not covered her face, and she jumped up at the feeling of the cold stuff. She was wide-awake now.

"What the-" She saw his ice cream-covered hand, his sheepish grin and felt something wet on her face. Oh no, he didn't- She tentatively touched her cheek, and when she pulled her hand back her fingertips were covered in ice cream too. He did!

"Castle!" She exclaimed, and wanted to stand up, but a loud crash stopped her from the tirade that was sure coming, and they both looked down. The floor was covered in sharp pieces of glass, the remnants of a bowl, and ice cream. And not only the floor. Because Castle had held the bowl between them, and with Beckett's movement it had dipped and fallen all over her lap. Now the grin had disappeared from his face, and if looks could kill, he'd be already dead by now. Very very dead.

"Sorry Beckett, I didn't-"

"Dad, what did you do now?" Alexis asked when she came in running, wanting to see what all the commotion was about. Both adults turned their head towards her, and Alexis felt immediately sorry for Beckett who was totally covered in melted ice cream.

"Dad! Seriously? I told you to let her sleep!" And then she turned towards Beckett. "You can borrow a pair of pants from me, if you want. Come with me, I'll show you where the bathroom is." She took the Detective's hand and dragged her towards her father's office. "Grams is in the bathroom upstairs, but you can use the master bathroom. It's next to my dad's bedroom, the door on your right." She pointed to the door that lead to Castle's bedroom, and then left off to get the pants.

Castle had wisely stayed in the living room and was already cleaning up the mess he'd made. But when he looked up, he saw Alexis coming out of his office.

"She's using your bathroom, the other's occupied by Grams." Castle froze. His bathroom was connected to his bedroom, and in his bedroom...

"Dad, what's wrong?"

He was prepared to hear swearing, cursing, screaming, yelling. But so far, he only heard a slight muttering and then a door that got slammed closed.

"Oh, uh, nothing, Pumpkin. Go get her those pants, I don't think Beckett's in the mood to wait forever." He needed to get that painting away. Alexis ran up the stairs, and before he could think of another hiding place, she was already back and walking towards his office. And Castle, better with words than actions, was too slow this time to solve what was going to be a drama for sure. When she came back, she looked confused.

"Uh, Dad? Since when do you have that painting hanging in your bedroom?"

"What painting? Oh, that painting? Uh, flea market. When I got you the necklace."

"It's beautiful! Well, I didn't see it very well with the dim lightning, but why didn't you hang it into the living room?"

"Because, you're 18 and the woman of that painting is..."

"Nude? Dad, I'm not a baby. Just, check this." She ran into his room and came back with the painting in her hands, walking towards the middle of the living room. She lifted it against the wall, where it would look good indeed. Without the vases, but instead the painting on the wall, it would be the master piece of the loft, but then everybody could see it.

"Yeah, Pumpkin, no, I don't think-"

"But Dad! I like the painting too! Why do you have to hide it?"

"Have to hide what?" A familiar voice asked from behind him. Castle jumped up, startled by her, and it was then she saw what Alexis was holding in her hands. Her face, first amused by his little jump, now fell in surprise and wonder. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. Castle just kept silent, not knowing what to say. Maybe it was the best to just say nothing. He was so screwed.

"This," Alexis said and pointed at the painting. "But Dad's acting weird and... hey, is everything okay?" Now she was truly concerned. She put the painting carefully down, and saw something was scribbled on the inside. She bent down and took a closer look.

Kate.

She looked up at Beckett, back at the painting and stepped away. If this was the same Kate, then it would explain what was happening.

"Is this... I'll leave you guys alone." If this was the same Kate as the Kate that was now standing in the living room, she maybe, no, probably wanted to have a word with him.

After Alexis had left, an awkward silence fell down. Beckett did not know what to say. At the time she'd posed, she didn't think it'd ever end up in the apartment of... A friend? A best friend? Her partner? She hadn't given permission! And actually, where did he even get it?

"Where... Where did you get it?" Damn, where was that firm voice when she needed it? She was almost whispering, for God's sake.

Castle didn't know if it was a rhetorical question. Probably not. "Flea market."

"Flea market?" She asked unbelievingly.

Castle felt like he had to say more, make it up to her. Or at least try to. "An artist guy sold a lot of stuff there. He was really good. And.. And he promised to be discrete."

"Discrete?" Again that tone.

"Yeah, you know, he'd warn me if someone else who had drawn you," he swallowed, trying to get past the lump in his throat and the image of a posing Kate in his head putting away, "would sell it or something. So I could get in between."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"I didn't think you'd like it."

Kate knew she should be grateful, but anger got the best of her. "Not like it? God! Castle! You've got a painting of me in your house where your mother and daughter can see me totally naked! How am I supposed to look them in the eye again? Tell me, Castle, why did you buy it?" She was yelling now, but she didn't really care at the moment.

"To protect you, why else would I buy it?" Castle yelled back.

"Because it's me! Naked!"

"You think I'm some kind of pervert? Is that what you think of me?"

"You wanna know what I think? I think you just want me in your bed, you do since the first fucking time you proposed it to me!"

"You think that's the reason I already follow you everywhere for the these past years? Because then you're wrong, Kate, so wrong." He lowered his voice, still dripping from anger, but Beckett didn't back off.

"Oh yeah? Sofia took you only one year of waiting, and it was over after that. I think that proves you've got patience if you want someone!"

"Sofia? Really, Kate? Sofia? I can't even start to compare you two, and I'm not willing to. Because every other woman is nothing compared to you, you hear me? Nothing!"

"You say that now, yes! You also told me you love me, you wrote in your books that 'the songs make sense' thanks to me! Telling it in your books for millions of people is okay, but you can't tell me in person?"

Castle stood there, perplex and didn't answer. Beckett breathed heavily. This fight cost her so much energy, and she didn't even want to have it.

The next thing he said, was just a whisper she couldn't hear through her breathing.

"What?"

He took a step forwards, towering above her now she was just walking in socks. "Repeat what you just said."

"I said 'what'."

"Before that."

She thought for a second, and then realized what he meant. Her eyes grew wide and her lips parted. It was in surprise, but at the same time, it was sexy. All the fight seemed to leave her body. "You.. You told me you love me, and wrote that in your-"

"I told you I loved you, and you just tell me you forgot? You tell me you don't remember? Because I'm not dumb, Beckett, and if you don't feel the same way the just say it. I'm a big boy, believe it or not. You do what you want anyway, you always do."

"Stop there." Now Beckett took a step closer, her heaving chest touching his. They were dangerously close, and now every breath, every whisper was audible. "Because if you think that, then you're the one who's wrong here," she whispered harshly.

"Wrong? I don't think so. You've made it very clear: let's play a game with Writer Boy, why not? Because that's it, right?"

"NO!" She yelled, hitting his chest, her hands fisted, but before she could retrieve them, he grabbed her wrists. She was strapped now, and he was gonna make her explain. "Let me go," she gritted through her teeth.

"After you explain. Because I want to hear the truth, and I'm not letting go until you tell me," his voice was low, and he spoke slowly, letting every dingle word sink down in that stubborn brain of hers.

"I don't play a game with you. I didn't want to lie to you. But I couldn't tell you the truth."

"Why?"

"Because you would have pushed me, goddamnit!" She yelled out.

Pause. "Not if you would've asked me not to."

"Castle, I... I..." Her voice broke, and a single tear escaped from her eye. She was going to break down in front of him if they continued like this, but she knew she had to finish this. "I didn't know it would be this bad. Because believe me when I say it hurts me too, Rick. And I regret it every day more and more."

"Then why didn't you say anything?" he whispered back. He didn't want to fight anymore, never did actually. He just wanted to know.

"I was afraid. To lose you. To lose what we have."

"No, Kate, no. I can see us, I can see a future together, but you have to say it, Kate. Just say it, because you can only gain." The last sentence was barely audible, and Beckett had only understood what he said because his mouth was right next to her ear.

"I... I love you too, Castle, I really do."

He was silent, and searched for signs of any emotion in her eyes. He saw sadness, hope and love. And he still didn't speak, but tugged at her right arm (he still hadn't let her go). She stopped resisting and let him turn her wrist around, showing the bracelet he'd just given her and turned the little plate. Then he brought her wrist closer to them so she could read the inscription. Her breath hitched, she hadn't seen it before, but knew very well what it meant. "Because this is what we have, Kate." And he kissed her passionately, pushing her against the wall. "We have Always."

X's Hannah

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