Disclaimer: I, the author of this fanfic, do not own Sailor Moon. You'd
have to be stupid to believe that I did. If you think that I own Sailor
Moon, my point has been proven.
Notes: If the male characters seem out of character, keep in mind, this is a comedy/romance. If I left them they way they were, it would not be funny. I'm not talented enough to play fairly. ^_~
' denotes thought
AN: =author's notes
***Current ages of characters:
Senshi:
Rei - 20
Ami - 19
Minako - 20
Makoto - 21
Princess Serenity - 18
Shittenou:
Jadeite - 21
Zoisite - 21
Kunzite - 23
Nephrite - 22
Prince Endymion - 20
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The Winning Losers Chapter Three: Boys Will be Boys
*Present time on Earth*
The steam in the showers of the distinguished Terran gymnasium made an almost opague fog, and five young and handsome gentlemen were washing the sweat and stink off their bodies in separate stalls that were connected together side by side, each stall sharing a wall with the next. One would have to jump high up to see over the barrier to the next stall, though none of them desired to do so, but one could see a person's feet in the next immediate stall. The five men had just completed a vigorous workout, and each one of them walked away with badges of honor. In other words, none of them got away without huge purplish and green bruises decorating their skin.
"I totally whipped you today, Neph," gloated the man with shiny black hair. Crown Prince Endymion Anima-Mundi was a dashing young man with hair as black as ink and eyes of a blue storm. His pleasing features were inherited from his mother, but his height and muscular build was definitely that of his father. He acquired characteristics from both sides of the family, creating a perfect balance: he was a born athlete, yet he also excelled in academics. Endymion trusted his feelings, but logic was never thrown out the window. His ambitious nature was quite admirable, and although he was surely a man's man, he was a sensitive spirit as well, and most of the females of the planet, and possibly of the galaxy, fawned over him.
The prince's companions were all kings of their own territories, but because his family was in power over the entire planet, the four kings, the famous Shittenou, pledged their full loyalty to the superior reigning family. The Shittenou were Endymion's personal guardians, but they were best buddies above all. They spent almost everyday together, and because the four main territories melded together, the Shittenou worked closely together diplomatically as well. The kings were all in their early twenties, but they ruled as if they had been ruling for decades, and their subjects truly respected them.
"You're so damn full of it, Endymion. You only won because I had one arm tied behind my back, and not to mention, I was blindfold," shouted the sore man over the stall.
"But technically, that still means I won."
Nephrite was too tired to argue, so he gave up entirely. Plus, compared to how many times he had beaten Endymion senseless, *without* the prince being handicapped, he didn't need to bother.
Nephrite Jusdivinum was Earth's king of the Southern Hemisphere. He was the tallest of the group, and he was probably the most physically powerful. Even his facial features were strong and angular, and his breathtaking good looks were praised around the globe. His long, chocolatey brown hair flowed down mid-back, and his eyes were a complimentary, warm coffee color. Nephrite's hobby was stargazing and fortune telling, being talents he was born with, and he was quite the philosopher. His comrades strongly believed in his infallible intuition, and his followers praised his genuine humanitarianism.
"Hey Nephrite," continued Endymion, "I dropped the soap and it slid into your stall. Could you bend over and pick it up for me?"
"No way, Endy. I'm not falling for that," joked Nephrite.
"Nephrite!" barked a young man with long white hair. "I'm ashamed of you! I would have expected a comment like that from Jadeite." Jadeite's shout of, "You stole my joke, Nephrite!" proved Kunzite's point. "It's an old joke, anyway," Nephrite countered.
"Just give me my bar of soap!"
"No!" Nephrite blatantly refused. "I don't know what you've washed with the soap, and I don't want to know, so I won't touch it." Humanitarianism was forgotten for the moment.
"Fine!" snapped Endymion. "Does anyone else have an extra soap bar?"
"Do you know what will stop those slippery soap problems?" asked another of his companions, this one having long blonde hair, in a voice that sounded like a preppy salesman. He didn't wait for an answer. "Two words: liquid soap." Having bestowed his words of wisdom, Zoisite threw his bottle of liquid soap over to Endymion's stall, two stalls to his left. He heard Endymion's gurgled "thank you".
"Guess what I have planned for tomorrow night," continued Zoisite.
Jadeite pondered for a second. "Judging by your disgustingly jolly mood, I'd say you have planned an evening with a lady." The rest shouted their agreements over the rushing water.
"Right you are, Jed my boy! I shall be spending tomorrow night with Lady Breezie."
"Wait--you mean Lady Sleezy-Breezie-Oh-So-Easy?" choked Jadeite.
"The one and only," boasted Zoisite.
"Not bad."
"But hardly a woman you'd take home to your mother," cut in Kunzite severely. "Don't even bother wasting your time with women. They're untrustworthy, scheming creatures. And if you choose to, at least pick someone without such a...reputation."
King Kunzite Acoupsur of the Northern Hemisphere was the senior officer of the Shittenou because of his iron leadership and superior powers. No one could compare to the awesome etheral power and energy of Commander Kunzite. He was only twenty-three, but his shoulder-length hair was already a glittering platinum color. It added a sophisticated touch to his youthful, strikingly handsome face. His skin was tanned; he was a superb outdoorsman, and an even better soldier. Though people usually saw the impassive or stern expression on his face and the domineering officer in his stone-gray eyes, his close comrades saw his compassion and wry humor.
"I hate to spoil your 'fun', but the queen said she had planned a long-time excursion starting tomorrow, remember?"
Zoisite was disappointed, but he knew Lady Breezie would be free another time. In fact, ANY time. To make himself feel better, he started the Shittenou's and the crown Prince's favorite pastime: getting Kunzite angry. "What have you got against the fairer sex, Kunzite? Women are wonderful creatures. Unless you're..."
"Shut up, Zoi. I already know what you're going to say. So NO, I am *not* homosexual. No, no, NO. I am straight-"
"As the letter 'U'," blurted Jadeite.
"Damnit! For the last time, NO! What is it with all of you and gay jokes about me anyway?"
Endymion couldn't resist. "Why Kunz! Why are you so defensive about it? I mean, if what you were saying was true, you wouldn't sound so insecure-"
"Endymion," Kunzite abrubtly interrupted, "if you were not my liege, I would tackle you and beat you to a pulp right now."
"Sorry Kunzite, I don't wrestle with naked men in the shower. But if you're not homosexual, why are you acting so disgusted? I know! You're prejudiced!"
"Prejudiced!" echoed Nephrite.
"No, I am not prejudiced," stated Kunzite. "In fact, I have met the Princesses Michiru and Haruka of Neptune and Uranus, respectively, and I think they are one of the a finest couples I've had the pleasure of knowing."
"Yeah, they are *fine*," sighed Zoisite, picturing the two attractive princesses in his mind, plus other unmentionable things.
"Not 'fine' in that way, you nitwit," Kunzite scolded. "But I think it's time we get out. I'm suffocating in here." The others agreed, so they wrapped towels around their waists and headed for the locker room to change.
"FIRE!" cried one of the occupants of the locker room once Endymion opened the door. The man didn't realize it was just the huge cloud of steam from the showers.
A while later, the five men gathered in the royal recreational room, located in the south wing of the high palace of Earth - properly titled the Imperial Terran Citadel. Kunzite and Jadeite sat at the circular oak table playing cards while Nephrite, Endymion, and Zoisite were at the pool table. Zoisite was a master of billiards, and he was far in the lead. Nephrite and Endymion hadn't even had a crack at the cue ball yet.
"Next time, Zoisite does not get to go first," complained Nephrite. Endymion was just glad that they hadn't bet money this time. He remembered the first time he played pool with Zoisite. All five of them were playing, and it was Zoisite's first game ever, so the other four thought beating Zoisite would be easy money. By the end of the night, Zoisite wiped their personal bank accounts squeaky clean.
"Billiards is all about angles and force," explained Zoisite nonchalantly.
The king of the Eastern Hemisphere, Zoisite Aufait, was well-built and impossibly gorgeous, with his bright forest green eyes and long, curly, strawberry blonde hair, which he chose to tie back in a loose ponytail. And he knew he was gorgeous. Zoisite was the quintessential dignified royal in court, but once he exited those court doors, he was the notorious playboy. He had whatever girl he set after; however, women always came to him. But he was far more than a pretty face. He was a human computer; he processed information at the speed of light and memorized statistics in one glance. His mind was a massive storage room of information.
Kunzite and Endymion had played billiards since they were small lads and were virtually experts, and Nephrite was quite experienced as well. Jadeite was a decent player, but he was the deity of cheating, and because he cheated so subtlely, no one could prove he was cheating. They could only find out if he was cheating if Jadeite himself confessed on his own will. "Yeah, I swindled you all, but I can't believe you guys didn't notice. It was so obvious! If you'd pay just a little smidge of attention to me more, you'd figure out that I was up to no good, but noooooooo, no one pays attention to little ol' Jadeite! I'm practically screaming out for attention here!"
Jadeite was not allowed to go within seven feet of a pool table from then on.
"Cheater!" accused Kunzite after Jadeite had won the fifth game of cards. "Do we have to ban you from the card table as well?"
"For your information," said Jadeite, more than a little hurt, "I always play an honest hand in cards. I come from a long line of expert gamblers and card players; it's in my blood. Trust me-"
Kunzite raised his eyebrow.
"-this time. Plus, I don't play con artist if money is not involved. That would be petty."
"Knowing you, you might do it for practice," grumbled Kunzite.
"I'm so glad you have so much faith in me, Kunz. Anyways, I don't need practice," Jadeite added conceitedly.
The Western Hemisphere's strapping King Jadeite Amerveille, a.k.a "Jed", was an interesting character. His short, wavy hair was as luminous as the rays of the sun, which contrasted beautifully with his azure eyes. He looked like a fallen angel, gracing the land with his heavenly appearance.
But he raised more hell than the devil himself.
Watching his temper flare up was like witnessing a volcano erupting, and he spoke exactly what was on his mind. But Jadeite was also a jester in king's clothing, and he bounced around like a child who was fed too much sugar. He was volatile and comedic at the same time, but he was sarcastic and arrogant from dusk 'til dawn. Like a light switch, he could turn into a debonair prince charming (popular with the ladies), or he could switch into the fearless, rough-and-tumble warrior (popular with the men). Jadeite had many different faces, but each personality was entirely him.
Before Kunzite could get his hands around Jadeite's tempting neck, a knock was heard from the door, and the queen's young hand maid, in her navy tweed dress with gold embroidery (the colors of the Terran palace uniform), entered. "Your Highness," she adressed the prince as she curtseyed, "The king and queen want you to meet them in the royal library in five minutes."
"Alright, Rosemary," he replied. With the way Zoisite was playing, it didn't seem he'd get the chance to play anyway. Before Rosemary the maid exited the recreational room, Zoisite gave her one of his trademark flirtatious winks, and she in turn blushed deeply.
"Would you stop hitting on the maids?" queried Nephrite. "I don't think it's a very professional thing to do."
"Hey, a woman is meant to be cherished and complimented," returned Zoisite.
"Fine. But the old servants too?"
"If I make an old woman's day, why not?"
"Yeah, he's just doing his share of community service," drawled Jadeite as he shuffled the cards.
"I wonder what my parents want to say to me," thought Endymion out loud. "Oh well, I'll find out in a couple minutes. Say, Kunz, will you play for me while I'm gone? Zoisite might even go easy on you."
"Sure, Endy."
Endymion walked into the library to see his beautiful mother and father sitting snugly together on one of the leather couches with their heads bent over the same book. It was a touching sight, the perfect picture of domestic tranquility. Although his mother and father were from two different worlds, metaphorically and literally speaking, they were a match made in heaven, and time never changed that. He hated to interrupt them in such a state, but he remembered that they had called him. "Good evening Father. Good evening Mother."
They both looked up with smiling faces. "How was training today, Son?" inquired King James. "The Shittenou weren't too hard on you today, were they?" he joked. He'd seen his son on days when the Shittenou were in a foul mood, and the end result was not pretty, but he believed that his son needed the toughest blows to become the toughest warrior prince. No pain, no gain, indeed.
"They let me win today, but someday, I'll be able to take all four of them down." Endymion knew that would never happen, unless he used the Golden Crystal. The Golden Crystal was only used in grave emergencies, so that would be cheating. Even Jadeite wouldn't cheat like that.
"Endymion, would you do something for me?" The queen's voice was so gentle and congenial yet so sure, and it sounded like music, even to a deaf ear. Endymion couldn't deny his dear mother anything, and he'd gladly do anything for her.
"Of course, Mother."
"Pass on to the Shittenou what your father and I are about to tell you."
"Surely I will, but what is it you want to tell me, Mother? Father?"
Queen Gwendolyn's face brightened up instantly. "Very, very good news, Endymion...."
Half and hour later, Endymion returned to the recreational room, the happiness glowing obviously upon his face. When he heard the news, he kissed his father's cheek and shook his mother's hand, and he danced them around the library. He was still dancing when he entered the room, and the Shittenou looked at him worriedly.
"Zoisite, you're a medical man. What's wrong with Endy?"
"Nothing, Kunz. I think he's just experiencing overwhelming joy."
Nehprite wasn't convinced. "I think he's really gone crazy. Look at him. He looks pathetic." Endymion tried to waltz Jadeite around the room, but Jadeite successfully got the prince back to his senses by punching him hard on the shoulder. "Get away from me, you freak!" yelled Jadeite. "I'm not like that!"
"Owwww...geez, did you have to hit me *that* hard?" whined the prince.
"Sorry, but I didn't want to dance around like a dandy. Like you. With you. You're smiling like an idiot," Jadeite added for good measure.
"Well, let's see who'll look like the idiot in a moment," Endymion replied cryptically. "I, my ignorant friends, have been informed by my mum and pa about some very interesting news." Endymion was trying to figure out a way to put whatever he was going to say lightly. The news was the best thing that he could hear about, but he didn't know how the Shittenou would take it. Yet the excitement was killing him, and the suspense drove his guardians mad.
"Okay, now out with it," ordered Kunzite.
"Patience is a virtue," quoted Nephrite, but the quote was hollow to him as well.
"Alright, alright, don't rush. My parents have told me about their plans for tomorrow. It turns out that they've planned a long vacation for all of us that will last for about two and a half months."
All the Shittenou cheered, even Kunzite the Business Man, at the mention of a vacation. They hadn't had a vacation since that one day eight years ago....though that turned out to be more of a nightmare.
'How long will their joy last?' thought the prince. He continued on an infinitely lighter note: "I walked in so happily because we will vacation where I will see one of my best friends, and I haven't seen this friend for many, many years."
"Hold on." Nephrite then walked to the open window and looked up at the starlit sky. It was a full moon that night, and the lake glistened in the silver shower of moonbeams, the ripples moving in harmony with the gentle wind. The breeze blew lightly through his long auburn hair. He searched the heavens for an answer to his question: who was Endymion talking about? The action was unnecessary, since Endymion was going to tell them anyway, but Nephrite took advantage of any chance when he could indulge in his stargazing hobby. He finally broke the heavy silence after two minutes. "You are going to see...Princess Serenity of the Moon!"
"Bravo, Nephrite! How did you know?" Endymion was truly amazed. "You have really gotten down that stargazing bit."
"Well, yes, the stars confirmed it for me, but I actually figured it out before I looked up to the sky."
"How's that?"
"You had that silly, blissful puppy love look when I first walked over to the window to look at the full moon. I saw your reflection in the window."
"That was anticlimactic," retorted Jadeite.
"Back to the point," Endymion inserted, "Yes, I will be seeing the wonderful Usa- I mean, the Princess of the Silver Millennium. As you may remember, my mother and Queen Serenity are best friends."
"As you and the princess," Kunzite remarked, a nearly nonexistent smile on his lips.
"As Princess Serenity and I," confirmed Endymion, almost shyly. "So [pause] are you four alright with that?"
Zoisite was getting suspicious, and he fixed Endymion with a critical eye. "Why wouldn't we be?"
"Umm-" Endymion was really starting to sweat "-well, the princess is now a mature lady, and it would improper if a male bodyguard escorted her everywhere she went."
"Okay, so what does that have to do with us?"
"I mean that Serenity would need...female guardians."
"But Endy," said Jadeite, "none of us can do anything about that. Although Zoisite is the most feminine..."
"I resent that."
'Why don't any of them get it?!' Endymion's inner voice howled. 'Don't they remember? Geez, we men *are* idiots.'
"No! I meant that she already *has* female guardians."
Realization _finally_ struck Zoisite, like a lightning bolt striking him while soaked from head to toe. The blood disappeared from his face, and he started to tremble uncontrollably. 'The horror, the horror!' his mind wailed.
"No! NO!!! Not them! Not _HER_!!! Oh God, not her!!!"
"Zoisite! What is your malfunction, man?" Kunzite ran over to his comrade and shook Zoisite's shoulders violently. The panicking man wouldn't respond, so the high commander gave him a good back-handed slap.
"Thanks, Kunz, I-I needed that."
"What were you screaming about?"
Zoisite fell silent. He couldn't bring himself to say it, to say their name. His three fellow kings were painfully aware of the anxiety saturating the air. Nephrite tried to appear calm, leaning leisurely against his cue stick, and Kunzite held his stick in both hands, parallel to the ground. Jadeite sat back in his chair, shuffling the cards quickly, his eyes cast down. He didn't want them to see the worried look in his eyes and have them think he was a sissy. He just felt it. Nephrite's intuition was sending alarming signals, and for good reason.
Zoisite found his voice again. "Endy's talking about...them..." but his voice trailed off again.
"Gee, that helps." Insert Jadeite's sarcasm here.
Zoisite looked over to his prince pleadingly for help.
Endymion sighed. They had to know, sooner or later. "Zoisite has just figured out what I was talking about, although I thought the rest of you would have picked up on my obvious hints. I'm certain none of you can forget. I was talking about-" Dramatic pause. "-the Senshi."
Nephrite lost his balance and actually fell flat on his face.
Kunzite broke his cue stick in half.
Cards flew everywhere, each person hit in the face with at least three cards. Jadeite was too stunned to clean up the mess.
"Shittenou!"
The four kings snapped back to attention at the bark of their charge. Prince Endymion only used that tone of voice and form of address whenever he took on a no-nonsense governmental persona, which was rare.
"We are leaving tomorrow afternoon," said the prince in a drill sergeant manner, "at three o'clock in the afternoon, sharp. Pack all your essential things tonight. We will not return to Earth for almost three months, so be absolutely prepared. If you do forget something, we can send for any forgotten items later on. His Majesty King James and Her Majesty Queen Gwendolyn expect to see all of you at the teleport at two-forty-five. Sleep early, for tomorrow we will awaken early to take care of unfinished business. Goodnight, gentlemen." It hurt Endymion to know his close friends were seriously unhappy, but he couldn't help but feel light- hearted. His Serenity, his playmate from eight years ago, the girl he had a crush on for the week he'd known her, and the girl he dreamed of seeing again, was waiting for him, and not even his reluctant guardians could get in his way.
Their headaches stopped them from trying.
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Did'ja enjoy that little bit? Welp, if you didn't, it doesn't matter, because I had a lotta fun writing it. If you noticed, the last names of the four kings and the prince actually mean something in another language.
Endymion Anima-Mundi: anima mundi (Latin) - world spirit
Kunzite Acoupser: a coup sur (French) - with sure stroke; confidently
Nephrite Jusdivinum: jus divinum (Latin) - divine law
Jadeite Amerveille: a merveille (French) - wonderfully; to perfection
Zoisite Aufait - au fait (French) - well-informed; expert; to the point; socially correct
NEXT CHAPTER: BACK TO THE PAST!!!
Review!!
Notes: If the male characters seem out of character, keep in mind, this is a comedy/romance. If I left them they way they were, it would not be funny. I'm not talented enough to play fairly. ^_~
' denotes thought
AN: =author's notes
***Current ages of characters:
Senshi:
Rei - 20
Ami - 19
Minako - 20
Makoto - 21
Princess Serenity - 18
Shittenou:
Jadeite - 21
Zoisite - 21
Kunzite - 23
Nephrite - 22
Prince Endymion - 20
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The Winning Losers Chapter Three: Boys Will be Boys
*Present time on Earth*
The steam in the showers of the distinguished Terran gymnasium made an almost opague fog, and five young and handsome gentlemen were washing the sweat and stink off their bodies in separate stalls that were connected together side by side, each stall sharing a wall with the next. One would have to jump high up to see over the barrier to the next stall, though none of them desired to do so, but one could see a person's feet in the next immediate stall. The five men had just completed a vigorous workout, and each one of them walked away with badges of honor. In other words, none of them got away without huge purplish and green bruises decorating their skin.
"I totally whipped you today, Neph," gloated the man with shiny black hair. Crown Prince Endymion Anima-Mundi was a dashing young man with hair as black as ink and eyes of a blue storm. His pleasing features were inherited from his mother, but his height and muscular build was definitely that of his father. He acquired characteristics from both sides of the family, creating a perfect balance: he was a born athlete, yet he also excelled in academics. Endymion trusted his feelings, but logic was never thrown out the window. His ambitious nature was quite admirable, and although he was surely a man's man, he was a sensitive spirit as well, and most of the females of the planet, and possibly of the galaxy, fawned over him.
The prince's companions were all kings of their own territories, but because his family was in power over the entire planet, the four kings, the famous Shittenou, pledged their full loyalty to the superior reigning family. The Shittenou were Endymion's personal guardians, but they were best buddies above all. They spent almost everyday together, and because the four main territories melded together, the Shittenou worked closely together diplomatically as well. The kings were all in their early twenties, but they ruled as if they had been ruling for decades, and their subjects truly respected them.
"You're so damn full of it, Endymion. You only won because I had one arm tied behind my back, and not to mention, I was blindfold," shouted the sore man over the stall.
"But technically, that still means I won."
Nephrite was too tired to argue, so he gave up entirely. Plus, compared to how many times he had beaten Endymion senseless, *without* the prince being handicapped, he didn't need to bother.
Nephrite Jusdivinum was Earth's king of the Southern Hemisphere. He was the tallest of the group, and he was probably the most physically powerful. Even his facial features were strong and angular, and his breathtaking good looks were praised around the globe. His long, chocolatey brown hair flowed down mid-back, and his eyes were a complimentary, warm coffee color. Nephrite's hobby was stargazing and fortune telling, being talents he was born with, and he was quite the philosopher. His comrades strongly believed in his infallible intuition, and his followers praised his genuine humanitarianism.
"Hey Nephrite," continued Endymion, "I dropped the soap and it slid into your stall. Could you bend over and pick it up for me?"
"No way, Endy. I'm not falling for that," joked Nephrite.
"Nephrite!" barked a young man with long white hair. "I'm ashamed of you! I would have expected a comment like that from Jadeite." Jadeite's shout of, "You stole my joke, Nephrite!" proved Kunzite's point. "It's an old joke, anyway," Nephrite countered.
"Just give me my bar of soap!"
"No!" Nephrite blatantly refused. "I don't know what you've washed with the soap, and I don't want to know, so I won't touch it." Humanitarianism was forgotten for the moment.
"Fine!" snapped Endymion. "Does anyone else have an extra soap bar?"
"Do you know what will stop those slippery soap problems?" asked another of his companions, this one having long blonde hair, in a voice that sounded like a preppy salesman. He didn't wait for an answer. "Two words: liquid soap." Having bestowed his words of wisdom, Zoisite threw his bottle of liquid soap over to Endymion's stall, two stalls to his left. He heard Endymion's gurgled "thank you".
"Guess what I have planned for tomorrow night," continued Zoisite.
Jadeite pondered for a second. "Judging by your disgustingly jolly mood, I'd say you have planned an evening with a lady." The rest shouted their agreements over the rushing water.
"Right you are, Jed my boy! I shall be spending tomorrow night with Lady Breezie."
"Wait--you mean Lady Sleezy-Breezie-Oh-So-Easy?" choked Jadeite.
"The one and only," boasted Zoisite.
"Not bad."
"But hardly a woman you'd take home to your mother," cut in Kunzite severely. "Don't even bother wasting your time with women. They're untrustworthy, scheming creatures. And if you choose to, at least pick someone without such a...reputation."
King Kunzite Acoupsur of the Northern Hemisphere was the senior officer of the Shittenou because of his iron leadership and superior powers. No one could compare to the awesome etheral power and energy of Commander Kunzite. He was only twenty-three, but his shoulder-length hair was already a glittering platinum color. It added a sophisticated touch to his youthful, strikingly handsome face. His skin was tanned; he was a superb outdoorsman, and an even better soldier. Though people usually saw the impassive or stern expression on his face and the domineering officer in his stone-gray eyes, his close comrades saw his compassion and wry humor.
"I hate to spoil your 'fun', but the queen said she had planned a long-time excursion starting tomorrow, remember?"
Zoisite was disappointed, but he knew Lady Breezie would be free another time. In fact, ANY time. To make himself feel better, he started the Shittenou's and the crown Prince's favorite pastime: getting Kunzite angry. "What have you got against the fairer sex, Kunzite? Women are wonderful creatures. Unless you're..."
"Shut up, Zoi. I already know what you're going to say. So NO, I am *not* homosexual. No, no, NO. I am straight-"
"As the letter 'U'," blurted Jadeite.
"Damnit! For the last time, NO! What is it with all of you and gay jokes about me anyway?"
Endymion couldn't resist. "Why Kunz! Why are you so defensive about it? I mean, if what you were saying was true, you wouldn't sound so insecure-"
"Endymion," Kunzite abrubtly interrupted, "if you were not my liege, I would tackle you and beat you to a pulp right now."
"Sorry Kunzite, I don't wrestle with naked men in the shower. But if you're not homosexual, why are you acting so disgusted? I know! You're prejudiced!"
"Prejudiced!" echoed Nephrite.
"No, I am not prejudiced," stated Kunzite. "In fact, I have met the Princesses Michiru and Haruka of Neptune and Uranus, respectively, and I think they are one of the a finest couples I've had the pleasure of knowing."
"Yeah, they are *fine*," sighed Zoisite, picturing the two attractive princesses in his mind, plus other unmentionable things.
"Not 'fine' in that way, you nitwit," Kunzite scolded. "But I think it's time we get out. I'm suffocating in here." The others agreed, so they wrapped towels around their waists and headed for the locker room to change.
"FIRE!" cried one of the occupants of the locker room once Endymion opened the door. The man didn't realize it was just the huge cloud of steam from the showers.
A while later, the five men gathered in the royal recreational room, located in the south wing of the high palace of Earth - properly titled the Imperial Terran Citadel. Kunzite and Jadeite sat at the circular oak table playing cards while Nephrite, Endymion, and Zoisite were at the pool table. Zoisite was a master of billiards, and he was far in the lead. Nephrite and Endymion hadn't even had a crack at the cue ball yet.
"Next time, Zoisite does not get to go first," complained Nephrite. Endymion was just glad that they hadn't bet money this time. He remembered the first time he played pool with Zoisite. All five of them were playing, and it was Zoisite's first game ever, so the other four thought beating Zoisite would be easy money. By the end of the night, Zoisite wiped their personal bank accounts squeaky clean.
"Billiards is all about angles and force," explained Zoisite nonchalantly.
The king of the Eastern Hemisphere, Zoisite Aufait, was well-built and impossibly gorgeous, with his bright forest green eyes and long, curly, strawberry blonde hair, which he chose to tie back in a loose ponytail. And he knew he was gorgeous. Zoisite was the quintessential dignified royal in court, but once he exited those court doors, he was the notorious playboy. He had whatever girl he set after; however, women always came to him. But he was far more than a pretty face. He was a human computer; he processed information at the speed of light and memorized statistics in one glance. His mind was a massive storage room of information.
Kunzite and Endymion had played billiards since they were small lads and were virtually experts, and Nephrite was quite experienced as well. Jadeite was a decent player, but he was the deity of cheating, and because he cheated so subtlely, no one could prove he was cheating. They could only find out if he was cheating if Jadeite himself confessed on his own will. "Yeah, I swindled you all, but I can't believe you guys didn't notice. It was so obvious! If you'd pay just a little smidge of attention to me more, you'd figure out that I was up to no good, but noooooooo, no one pays attention to little ol' Jadeite! I'm practically screaming out for attention here!"
Jadeite was not allowed to go within seven feet of a pool table from then on.
"Cheater!" accused Kunzite after Jadeite had won the fifth game of cards. "Do we have to ban you from the card table as well?"
"For your information," said Jadeite, more than a little hurt, "I always play an honest hand in cards. I come from a long line of expert gamblers and card players; it's in my blood. Trust me-"
Kunzite raised his eyebrow.
"-this time. Plus, I don't play con artist if money is not involved. That would be petty."
"Knowing you, you might do it for practice," grumbled Kunzite.
"I'm so glad you have so much faith in me, Kunz. Anyways, I don't need practice," Jadeite added conceitedly.
The Western Hemisphere's strapping King Jadeite Amerveille, a.k.a "Jed", was an interesting character. His short, wavy hair was as luminous as the rays of the sun, which contrasted beautifully with his azure eyes. He looked like a fallen angel, gracing the land with his heavenly appearance.
But he raised more hell than the devil himself.
Watching his temper flare up was like witnessing a volcano erupting, and he spoke exactly what was on his mind. But Jadeite was also a jester in king's clothing, and he bounced around like a child who was fed too much sugar. He was volatile and comedic at the same time, but he was sarcastic and arrogant from dusk 'til dawn. Like a light switch, he could turn into a debonair prince charming (popular with the ladies), or he could switch into the fearless, rough-and-tumble warrior (popular with the men). Jadeite had many different faces, but each personality was entirely him.
Before Kunzite could get his hands around Jadeite's tempting neck, a knock was heard from the door, and the queen's young hand maid, in her navy tweed dress with gold embroidery (the colors of the Terran palace uniform), entered. "Your Highness," she adressed the prince as she curtseyed, "The king and queen want you to meet them in the royal library in five minutes."
"Alright, Rosemary," he replied. With the way Zoisite was playing, it didn't seem he'd get the chance to play anyway. Before Rosemary the maid exited the recreational room, Zoisite gave her one of his trademark flirtatious winks, and she in turn blushed deeply.
"Would you stop hitting on the maids?" queried Nephrite. "I don't think it's a very professional thing to do."
"Hey, a woman is meant to be cherished and complimented," returned Zoisite.
"Fine. But the old servants too?"
"If I make an old woman's day, why not?"
"Yeah, he's just doing his share of community service," drawled Jadeite as he shuffled the cards.
"I wonder what my parents want to say to me," thought Endymion out loud. "Oh well, I'll find out in a couple minutes. Say, Kunz, will you play for me while I'm gone? Zoisite might even go easy on you."
"Sure, Endy."
Endymion walked into the library to see his beautiful mother and father sitting snugly together on one of the leather couches with their heads bent over the same book. It was a touching sight, the perfect picture of domestic tranquility. Although his mother and father were from two different worlds, metaphorically and literally speaking, they were a match made in heaven, and time never changed that. He hated to interrupt them in such a state, but he remembered that they had called him. "Good evening Father. Good evening Mother."
They both looked up with smiling faces. "How was training today, Son?" inquired King James. "The Shittenou weren't too hard on you today, were they?" he joked. He'd seen his son on days when the Shittenou were in a foul mood, and the end result was not pretty, but he believed that his son needed the toughest blows to become the toughest warrior prince. No pain, no gain, indeed.
"They let me win today, but someday, I'll be able to take all four of them down." Endymion knew that would never happen, unless he used the Golden Crystal. The Golden Crystal was only used in grave emergencies, so that would be cheating. Even Jadeite wouldn't cheat like that.
"Endymion, would you do something for me?" The queen's voice was so gentle and congenial yet so sure, and it sounded like music, even to a deaf ear. Endymion couldn't deny his dear mother anything, and he'd gladly do anything for her.
"Of course, Mother."
"Pass on to the Shittenou what your father and I are about to tell you."
"Surely I will, but what is it you want to tell me, Mother? Father?"
Queen Gwendolyn's face brightened up instantly. "Very, very good news, Endymion...."
Half and hour later, Endymion returned to the recreational room, the happiness glowing obviously upon his face. When he heard the news, he kissed his father's cheek and shook his mother's hand, and he danced them around the library. He was still dancing when he entered the room, and the Shittenou looked at him worriedly.
"Zoisite, you're a medical man. What's wrong with Endy?"
"Nothing, Kunz. I think he's just experiencing overwhelming joy."
Nehprite wasn't convinced. "I think he's really gone crazy. Look at him. He looks pathetic." Endymion tried to waltz Jadeite around the room, but Jadeite successfully got the prince back to his senses by punching him hard on the shoulder. "Get away from me, you freak!" yelled Jadeite. "I'm not like that!"
"Owwww...geez, did you have to hit me *that* hard?" whined the prince.
"Sorry, but I didn't want to dance around like a dandy. Like you. With you. You're smiling like an idiot," Jadeite added for good measure.
"Well, let's see who'll look like the idiot in a moment," Endymion replied cryptically. "I, my ignorant friends, have been informed by my mum and pa about some very interesting news." Endymion was trying to figure out a way to put whatever he was going to say lightly. The news was the best thing that he could hear about, but he didn't know how the Shittenou would take it. Yet the excitement was killing him, and the suspense drove his guardians mad.
"Okay, now out with it," ordered Kunzite.
"Patience is a virtue," quoted Nephrite, but the quote was hollow to him as well.
"Alright, alright, don't rush. My parents have told me about their plans for tomorrow. It turns out that they've planned a long vacation for all of us that will last for about two and a half months."
All the Shittenou cheered, even Kunzite the Business Man, at the mention of a vacation. They hadn't had a vacation since that one day eight years ago....though that turned out to be more of a nightmare.
'How long will their joy last?' thought the prince. He continued on an infinitely lighter note: "I walked in so happily because we will vacation where I will see one of my best friends, and I haven't seen this friend for many, many years."
"Hold on." Nephrite then walked to the open window and looked up at the starlit sky. It was a full moon that night, and the lake glistened in the silver shower of moonbeams, the ripples moving in harmony with the gentle wind. The breeze blew lightly through his long auburn hair. He searched the heavens for an answer to his question: who was Endymion talking about? The action was unnecessary, since Endymion was going to tell them anyway, but Nephrite took advantage of any chance when he could indulge in his stargazing hobby. He finally broke the heavy silence after two minutes. "You are going to see...Princess Serenity of the Moon!"
"Bravo, Nephrite! How did you know?" Endymion was truly amazed. "You have really gotten down that stargazing bit."
"Well, yes, the stars confirmed it for me, but I actually figured it out before I looked up to the sky."
"How's that?"
"You had that silly, blissful puppy love look when I first walked over to the window to look at the full moon. I saw your reflection in the window."
"That was anticlimactic," retorted Jadeite.
"Back to the point," Endymion inserted, "Yes, I will be seeing the wonderful Usa- I mean, the Princess of the Silver Millennium. As you may remember, my mother and Queen Serenity are best friends."
"As you and the princess," Kunzite remarked, a nearly nonexistent smile on his lips.
"As Princess Serenity and I," confirmed Endymion, almost shyly. "So [pause] are you four alright with that?"
Zoisite was getting suspicious, and he fixed Endymion with a critical eye. "Why wouldn't we be?"
"Umm-" Endymion was really starting to sweat "-well, the princess is now a mature lady, and it would improper if a male bodyguard escorted her everywhere she went."
"Okay, so what does that have to do with us?"
"I mean that Serenity would need...female guardians."
"But Endy," said Jadeite, "none of us can do anything about that. Although Zoisite is the most feminine..."
"I resent that."
'Why don't any of them get it?!' Endymion's inner voice howled. 'Don't they remember? Geez, we men *are* idiots.'
"No! I meant that she already *has* female guardians."
Realization _finally_ struck Zoisite, like a lightning bolt striking him while soaked from head to toe. The blood disappeared from his face, and he started to tremble uncontrollably. 'The horror, the horror!' his mind wailed.
"No! NO!!! Not them! Not _HER_!!! Oh God, not her!!!"
"Zoisite! What is your malfunction, man?" Kunzite ran over to his comrade and shook Zoisite's shoulders violently. The panicking man wouldn't respond, so the high commander gave him a good back-handed slap.
"Thanks, Kunz, I-I needed that."
"What were you screaming about?"
Zoisite fell silent. He couldn't bring himself to say it, to say their name. His three fellow kings were painfully aware of the anxiety saturating the air. Nephrite tried to appear calm, leaning leisurely against his cue stick, and Kunzite held his stick in both hands, parallel to the ground. Jadeite sat back in his chair, shuffling the cards quickly, his eyes cast down. He didn't want them to see the worried look in his eyes and have them think he was a sissy. He just felt it. Nephrite's intuition was sending alarming signals, and for good reason.
Zoisite found his voice again. "Endy's talking about...them..." but his voice trailed off again.
"Gee, that helps." Insert Jadeite's sarcasm here.
Zoisite looked over to his prince pleadingly for help.
Endymion sighed. They had to know, sooner or later. "Zoisite has just figured out what I was talking about, although I thought the rest of you would have picked up on my obvious hints. I'm certain none of you can forget. I was talking about-" Dramatic pause. "-the Senshi."
Nephrite lost his balance and actually fell flat on his face.
Kunzite broke his cue stick in half.
Cards flew everywhere, each person hit in the face with at least three cards. Jadeite was too stunned to clean up the mess.
"Shittenou!"
The four kings snapped back to attention at the bark of their charge. Prince Endymion only used that tone of voice and form of address whenever he took on a no-nonsense governmental persona, which was rare.
"We are leaving tomorrow afternoon," said the prince in a drill sergeant manner, "at three o'clock in the afternoon, sharp. Pack all your essential things tonight. We will not return to Earth for almost three months, so be absolutely prepared. If you do forget something, we can send for any forgotten items later on. His Majesty King James and Her Majesty Queen Gwendolyn expect to see all of you at the teleport at two-forty-five. Sleep early, for tomorrow we will awaken early to take care of unfinished business. Goodnight, gentlemen." It hurt Endymion to know his close friends were seriously unhappy, but he couldn't help but feel light- hearted. His Serenity, his playmate from eight years ago, the girl he had a crush on for the week he'd known her, and the girl he dreamed of seeing again, was waiting for him, and not even his reluctant guardians could get in his way.
Their headaches stopped them from trying.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Did'ja enjoy that little bit? Welp, if you didn't, it doesn't matter, because I had a lotta fun writing it. If you noticed, the last names of the four kings and the prince actually mean something in another language.
Endymion Anima-Mundi: anima mundi (Latin) - world spirit
Kunzite Acoupser: a coup sur (French) - with sure stroke; confidently
Nephrite Jusdivinum: jus divinum (Latin) - divine law
Jadeite Amerveille: a merveille (French) - wonderfully; to perfection
Zoisite Aufait - au fait (French) - well-informed; expert; to the point; socially correct
NEXT CHAPTER: BACK TO THE PAST!!!
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