Another big THANKS for all the great reviews.

Chapter 7

I think now would be a good time to explain a few things about my relationship with my brothers. I had no relationship with Sam at all. Not until we was 21 and I was 23. It didn't really count then either cause he didn't know I was his sister. To him I was just the crazy chick across the hall and his girlfriend's best friend. I basically lied to him for a year and a half. I ended up lying to him for another year after that because of our dad. I guess you could say I'm still lying to him because I haven't told him anything about my past and I really don't want to. As I said before, there is too much Laura wanted to protect him from, like everything bad that happened.

Dean is a completely different story. He knows everything, cept for that year I was alone with dad. I would have died along time ago if it hadn't been for him. My big brother gave up everything to take care of dad and Sam. He even took care of Laura and me the best he could, considering the distance between us. There was a big difference when it came to his letters to me and what he told Laura. An even bigger difference between what my sister and I wrote back to him.

He always wrote 3 letters. One to each of us and then a 3rd meant for both of us, telling us everything dad was teaching him and Sam about hunting. He figured that if he could teach us that way, then when dad finally came for us we wouldn't too far behind. Dean really wanted us to be there, but I wouldn't let him say anything to dad. I wanted dad to come cause he wanted us, not cause he felt guilty.

His letter to Laura was always about Dad and Sam. Mostly Sam. He tried to answer all her questions. She wanted to know what Sam looked like, how he felt, his grades in school, everything. Sam was always more her baby then mom's and dad's. The things she wanted to know about dad were the same. Dean never had much info on that front cause dad never confided in him, till after she died.

The letters between me and Dean were always about him, cars, and guns. Mostly him and cars. He told me everything. Everything he felt, everything he wanted for himself that he gave up to take care of our family. He knew I hated dad., he knew that I thought Sam was a spoiled brat, and he didn't get mad at me for it like Laura did whenever I said something to her. Dean was just happy to have some one he could really talk to. Some one that wouldn't get mad at him for how he felt, or what he really thought about things. Basically, with me, he had some one he could vent too anytime he wanted.

It still amazes me how he found us in the first place. He said the first time dad left him and Sam at the church with Pastor Jim, he told the preacher all about the 2 sisters dad had left behind. He begged Pastor Jim to find us for him so he'd know we were ok, but dad couldn't find out about it. He was afraid he'd get into trouble because dad told him that he was never gonna see us again. Dad also told him that Sam could never find out about Laura and me, that it would be too hard on the baby brother.

Anyway, it took a couple months for Jim to find us and even then all he could dig up was a mailing address. Dean said that was actually perfect. He wanted to write to us and let us know that the 3 of them were ok. That first letter was the start of him saving us and himself. He could let stuff out of his head and he gave Laura the hope she needed to make it through those first years after mom.

I don't think I will ever be able to tell my big brother how much he means to me. I know I can never pay him back for everything he's done, but I'm gonna try. I'll do what ever I have too to keep him safe. To keep him from getting hurt emotionally as well as physically. He thinks I'm overprotective, I think I can't do enough. I just wish Sam could see the things that I do. Wish he'd treat Dean a little better than he does. I have to keep reminding myself that I know more about Dean than he does or I'd be smacking the little brother in the back of his head on a daily basis.