Hiyaaaa guise! Me again, Okay so ino the chapters are short, but hey, there one shots, some MIGHT be two {or three?;]} shots, but for now, one shots. Hehe. Anyhoo, i've worked really hard to these. Laptop is knackered! So I could only write like 100 words at a time then I had to restart it;/ i'll try update reguraly. Inbox me or review with some ideas please! Kay fanx, love you lot loads xo. this one Is a bit upsetting, but it's also coot& loveable. by the way, yes, i am british:']] Never realised till it was gone. - shanePOV It never fully dawned on me, the fact that allysa was gone. When i started living with them, I knew she was gone, but i couldn't interpret it, couldn't cry or do shit. I didn't want to dawn on it, cause' i knew what it would lead to. When claire came, that's when i saw it. I tried to act cool. Tried. but she looked just like her, acted just like her. It finally reached me. Lyss, was gone, never ever coming back. She was purely ASHES. i thought i'd relent claire. but the way she reminded me of Allysa made me feel like i needed to protect her, I needed to be there for her. when i fell in love with her, i knew. I wanted her to help me rebuild my past. Allysa might be gone, mum might be gone, Dad might be in an unknown drunk bullshit land, but Claire will always be there. The way she smiles.. the way she laughes. It makes me wannah die. The night that i kissed her, i'd cried. I didn't tell anyone of course. I never do, why? aw yeah, cause' i'm 'badass' shane collins. but sometimes i don't wanna be that. sometimes i wanna show the sweet side that i have. I want claire to see that side. Now as she gripped my hand in the cold outside the door, i tried to smile. 'you can do it,' she whispered. 'But you don't have to.' 'I know... I want to, with you claire,' I shot her a look. Claire looked tired and broken all this shit going on lately must be dawning on her. I wiped a tear away from her cheek and pointed at the flowers. 'Sure aly won't dislike them?' i laughed, 'she was always so fussy' I walked on with Claire's hand in mine, and we smiled, talked, LAUGHED. But at the grave, it all changed. I looked down at the engraved lettering, and winced. I knew this'd be hard, but this is just... pushing the boundaries. Aly is gone. she's gone. 'Shane...' claire's voice whispered. I tightened my grip on her hand as my eyes filled with tears. 'Speak to her. There's no one here but me shane, and I won't make fun of you.' I nodded. I knew that. claire's personality blew me away, she made me want to know her forever. 'lys. i miss you,' i whispered. 'So much.' Images of the fire, the flames, mum's screams, dad's yells. It all rang in my mind. My hand burning. I was stupid, why the hell didn't I save her? what kind of brother am i? Tears splashed onto the grave. Claire gently wiped them off with her thumb and smiled reasurringly. 'I wish you were here, i wish you were alive. Even though you were always a pain in the arse!' I laughed, but it sounded brittle and broken, i reached out and pushed a strand of hair away from Claire's face. 'But i'm staying strong for this beautiful girl here.' Claire blushed as i pressed my lips to hers gently and held her cheeks. 'Claire?' 'yeah...' she mumbled. I wiped away her tears, and she wiped away mine. 'I love you.' Claire was true. I did love her. She's seen a side of me that no one else has ever seen. 'I love you too,' she whispered, as i held onto her waist with one hand and placed the flowers on the grave. 'and you allysa. I love you too,' claire whispered, i nodded my head and we walked out of the grave yard. 'Did you mean what you said?' Claire asked, kicking the floor slightly. I stopped, stood in front of her and wrapped my arms round her waist. I pressed my burning forehead to her warm one. 'I meant in claire. All the way. I meant in.' And i saw the glitter of tears in claire's eyes. I never thought i'd fall for a girl ike her, but it's true. I'm in love with Claire Danvers.