Birthday in Vegas Pt. 4 or "Confusion"
"Aw, hell," mumbled Nine as he woke up. He groaned as he realized he was under a mattress. All he could see from here was the time, 12:30.
He lifted the mattress and found out that it was in fact the body of One. Nine wondered why he was under One. That's when he saw that his shoes and his coat were gone. "We didn't do anything…" Nine looked at himself and One.
"Ewww…!" he screamed as he scrabbled away from One and towards the door. He saw that outside the bar that Eleven's back was against the wall and he laid sideways on the ground and he was muttering, "No, Amy, no more fish fingers and custard…"
"Uh, hello," said Nine as he waved awkwardly. Eleven raised his hands and gave him a peace sign, sighed and stood up; stumbling as he almost lost his balance. "You alright, mate?" asked Nine.
Eleven nodded and suddenly came to life. "You know what; I think I need another bottle of vodka right now," he yelled as he ran into the bar and slipped into a bar stool. As he poured himself a glass of vodka Nine asked, "How many bottles have you had?"
"About three. Of course, that was with Ten and Five." Nine was about to ask another question but he noticed what Eleven was drinking. "Um, Eleven that's not…"
"Vodka? I know. It's carrot juice. Makes me a bit sober. You what to know where Ten and Five are, right?" Eleven said very rapidly. Nine just blinked and nodded.
"Well I don't know where they are. Best to start looking, yeah?" Eleven continued as he led Nine outside. "Are you sure that you're completely sober?" asked Nine warily.
"Yep," said Eleven as he started to bounce on his heels.
"Not high on anything? Had any coffee?"
"Nope, nopey, nope, no," sang Eleven and he giggled. "Note to self," muttered Nine. "Carrot juice does not make you anywhere near sober."
Nine was about to continue but saw up ahead the figure of Eight dancing in the courtyard in only a blanket. As they got closer they hear him sing, "I'm a little butterfly, and I spread my colorful wings!Even though I'm small and frail, I can do most anything!"
Eleven sighed and Nine grimaced. "We have to put him out of his misery," said Nine with conviction as he turned to Eleven to shun the sight. "Do we have to?" whined Eleven, unsure.
"Of course! Look at him! How can you not pity that?" Nine protested while waving a hand to Eight, whose blanket had come off completely. Eleven grimaced. "I did not need to see that!" Nine whirled around, yelled "Not see what-oh s#%^!" and promptly covered his eyes with his hands.
"Put an end to this madness!" Eleven yelled and backed away. Nine took a deep breath and said "Hey Eight! Here's a banana!" and lobbed a banana at Eight head and Eight went unconscious. Eleven gaped at the sight. "What the hell is in there?"
"Guess."
"Steel banana?"
Nine picked up the banana and unpeeled it. It had steel interior. "Bananas are good," he grinned. Eleven grinned. "Yep, the same steel banana you threw at the Master in that dream where he told you he was your father."
"What?" Nine asked, looking at Eleven as if he was crazy. Eleven paled. "Whoops, too early. Just act like I didn't anything, alright?" Nine nodded warily. Eleven looked down at Eight and awkwardly covered him with his blanket. "We're leaving him here, right?" he asked as he walked away.
"Yep."
***888***888***
Nine and Eleven walked by the nearest bar and found Ten lying next to door with his arms around several assorted brands of alcohol. "W-where are you g-going?" he slurred. Both Nine and Eleven looked at him and then each other. "We're alcoholics!" muttered Nine, aghast. "And I thought that we were just jelly baby addicts," Eleven said in shame.
Ten looked at them in confusion and said finally, "I like your bow tie," and promptly tore it off Eleven's collar. Nine snickered. "Clip-on bow tie? That's worse than blue underwear!"
"It is not! And you can't expect me to tie my bow tie every morning! I have planets to save!" retorted Eleven. Nine rolled his eyes.
"Sorry, boys, but I have to save Ace from a hoard of Sontarans," Ten said drunkenly as he stood up. Both Doctors took offense.
"Boy? Me? I am the only man out of the whole lot of you!" Nine protested. "Hey where are you taking my bow tie?" asked Eleven as he blocked Ten's way. Ten dodged and made a run for it. Eleven followed him. "Eleven, wait-" Nine began, but they were both long gone.
Nine sighed when he saw the abandoned wine bottles on the floor. "I'm still the man of the lot," he muttered as he drank the contents of one bottle. And another. And another. Nine burped as his vision blurred.
Nearby an explosion occurred. Nine grinned. "Is it snowing? I love snow!" He was about to make snowmen when he sobered a little. He sighed and ran towards the explosion.
On the opposite side of street he encountered Seven, Six, Three and Two following a trail of what like…jelly babies? Nine sighed and asked Seven hurriedly, "Have you seen Ten or Eleven anywhere?"
"No but we saw an explosion over there," Seven nonchalantly as he pointed to a destroyed building to Nine's left. Nine muttered a curse as he ran to the site.
If he remembered correctly, that building was the casino where Six and Seven met Two and Three. As he approached the site he saw Five staring at the building. With a lighter. He looked gravely at Nine when he came over.
"Did you know that jelly babies are flammable?" Five whispered. Nine wrenched the lighter from Five's hands. "Everyone knows that. Why did you set the building on fire?" asked Nine.
"I certainly wasn't running from a zoo where I set free a wild elephant," muttered Five awkwardly. "Wait, what explosion?" He stared at the burned down building in horror. "That's just not cricket!" he whined.
Nine sighed. "Just kill me now!" Five took a mallet out of his pocket, held it up over his head, and smiled evilly. "Are you sure about that?"
Nine's eyes widened. "What the hell?" Five stepped forward tauntingly, laughed and threw the mallet on the ground. "Nah, just kidding," he giggled.
"You know you're drunk, right?" Nine said. Five threw his head back and laughed. "So?"
"Am I the only sane person here?" yelled Nine at the sky. It echoed for a few seconds when Five asked, "So, you want some scotch?"
"Yep."
Five smiled and began singing 'Celebration' as he led Nine to the nearest bar. Nine grimaced. "And I thought the recorder and spoon duet was bad," he muttered.
Author's Note: Thank you for reading so far. When you review, (please do), please include the Doctor you like the most. I am having writer's block on a new story and this will greatly help. Next chapter is the epilogue. Also, if I get enough review, I might put up an extra chapter- The Epilogue Part Two. Trust me, it's funny.