Hidan had had a pretty successful night. He had gone out hunting for a worthy sacrifice to use in his ritual and he had just happened to find a lost boy wandering around. The second Hidan saw him; he picked him up, stuffed him into a sack, and ran back to the Akatsuki hideout. Hidan set up a circle and opened the sack. The Boy crawled out and started twirling his hair. This was the first time Hidan had managed to get a good look at him. The boy had snowy white hair that was the same color as Hidan's. The boy was wearing pajamas that matched his hair and he had onyx black eyes. "Where am I?" he asked Hidan. His voice was high pitched. Hidan diden't answer him. He just picked up his scythe and made a small cut on the boy's hand. He drank the boy's blood and stepped into the circle. He was about stab himself, but he hesitated. Hidan couldn't bring himself to kill the boy. Was it because he found the boy, dare he say it, cute? "what are you going to do to me?" asked the boy.
"Shut the hell up! I'm trying to think!" said Hidan. There was a long pause, and then the boy asked
"Did you kidnap me because you're an insane Kira worshiper?" Hidan was disgusted by the question. He had heard of Kira before and found his religion to be an abomination. Sure, he killed, but he did it for insanely bogus reasons.
"Oh hell no! Don't mistake me for one of that bastard's god damn mother fucking followers! I'm a Jashionist!"
"Well, I'm case you don't know, I'm Near." This made Hidan jump. He had also heard of Near, but he could never had guessed he would be a cute little ball of fluff like this.
"Um, how old are you exactly?" Hidan asked.
"I am seventeen." Just then, Zetsu came in.
"Hidan, we would like to know if you are done with your ritual so that we can have the body." said Zetsu. Then, he noticed Near. "Especially since you have an extremely tasty looking sacrifice this time." Zetsu added, licking his lips.
"Well, you can't have him. Now go the fuck away." said Hidan.
"You know," said Zetsu "by now you usually kill your sacrifice. Could it be that you have feelings for this one?"
"I told you to get the hell out!" yelled Hidan. Zetsu grabbed Near.
"Since it's probably not a good habit for you to get attached to your sacrifices," said Zetsu "I think we should head this off at the pass." Near tried to squirm out of Zetsu's grasp, but it diden't work. Zetsu was too strong.
"Hidan, help me!" Near whimpered. Zetsu popped him into his mouth and swallowed him.
"Oh hell no! I'm not going to let the author kill him off again!"
"Hey, you're not supposed to break the fourth wall!" said the author.
"Shut the fuck up!" said Hidan. Hidan got into a long fight with Zetsu. Eventually, Hidan managed to pin him down and cut open his stomach. Hidan pulled out Near, who was unconscious, but still alive, because the author felt guilty about how many times she had killed him off in her fics. Hidan held him close and said "I'm never going to let you get hurt again."