Lunacy

Chapter Three

(d)E(a)dward

Edward was in Alaska.

Plop.

Edward was coming home.

These were the first words Alice Cullen said to me. She had a peculiar, pinched looked to her face, as if she was trying to solve a very difficult puzzle. The plop sound effect was graciously provided by the deer blood slathered all over me still when I first entered the house.

Alice was pulled from his concentrated look when she fully noticed me. Her face became a rictus of horror.

"Oh. My. God. What were you wearing?"

I looked down. To be honest I wasn't completely sure anymore. "It… appears to be jeans. And possibly the remains of my favorite t-shirt."

I frowned. I'd gone all the way to Virginia, to Mag-Con to get my Aperture shirt, and it hadn't been cheap. Damn it. Who knew deer could be such vicious little buggers? Then again, 'hadn't been cheap' usually meant more than twenty dollars when it came to shirts. Alice appeared to be wearing those super expensive shoes with the red soles – shoes that probably cost more than Charlie's house. Clearly money wasn't an issue with these folks.

. . . .

"Charlie!" how could I have forgotten about my own father?

Alice winced. "About that. You… can't really see him again. We have one real rule, and that is to stay hidden. Seeing your Dad now would put him in danger – you're a newborn –" her eyes drifted over to the long crack in the door I'd opened. " and you're not yet under control. And well, you look very different from how you did."

Logic. Damn it. I loved my dad. I missed him already even. He had been alone far too much the past few years, and now he probably thought I was murdered. Which brought something else to mind.

"What state are we in now? It doesn't look like forks."

"Vancouver. Well. Near Vancouver anyway. We're somewhere in Canada. We couldn't say in forks, not with Edward being so…" she broke off, lips pursed.

"Stupid?" I offered dryly. At this point in time I had no love for the idiot. He hadn't even tried to be subtle with the way he'd stared at me all day at school. And then there was the whole 'stalk-and-almost-kill-home-wrecker' incident.

Alice quirked a strained smile. Then her eyes suddenly widened and she laughed.

"What?" she was confusing already, but the first person I'd had a real conversation with aside from Carlisle, who'd had the honor of teaching me to hunt. Jasper offered his help for the next time, so he seemed nice enough.

"Oh nothing. I just saw something… interesting."

Her eyes flashed with amusement and she skipped off into the house, leaving me alone, and abruptly self conscious with my tatted blood bespattered state. I needed to get clean. It didn't seem as if my 'thing' about hygiene had gotten any less pressing with my new life.

I was considering jumping in the river… creek… body of water in the back to clean off when Alice returned and led me to a huge bathroom.

"We can't have you splashing around outside like a savage Bella."

She sounded amused. She'd probably had a vision of me doing just that. Speaking of visions, my brain made a random jump and I thought of Rosalie.

"Where's your sister?"

"Our sister – that is if you want to be part of the family~" Alice trilled.

I considered it, and Alice hugged me tightly as soon as I came to a decision. "Oh we'll be fantastic friends! The dynamic duo!"

I laughed and hugged back. I really did like Alice. "So, Rosalie?"

Alice grinned again. "She's rather pissed at our dear brother and is waiting for him to show up so she can tear him a new one." She rolled her eyes. "Not that I don't understand the seriousness of him turning you, but he's such a drama queen sometimes."

I snorted. "Yeah, I can see that." I, of course, had a few more colorful words in my head reserved from the poofy haired ass who'd been too much of a coward to stick around and deal with me. Ha. To be honest I really didn't have any idea how to react to him, and was glad that Rosalie was waiting outside to be violently angry at him for me.

Anyway, I wasn't going to insult Alice's 'brother' in front of her.

Once she'd left though, and I found my way into the shower I started muttering curse words to myself to alleviate the growing pressure of rage coiling under my skin. Mother of Fuck was my favorite phrase. I couldn't help but continue thinking about everything I'd left behind. The opportunity at having new friends, and a my father and the wonderful relationship that might've grown from the seeds I'd seen. And then there was my mother, and any normal human experience I may have wanted.

God! What about love? I've never really thought about myself in sexual terms, or been particularly interested in dating, but man alive how was I ever going to find love in the vastly shrunk pool of opportunity?

It would have to be another vampire, because lord knows I didn't want to rip someone else out of their life and drop them into this.

Not that being a vampire was horrific! I was immortal (though that opened up a whole new terrifying can of worms – what happened when the world ended? Or the sun died? Cold a vampire be killed if earth was sucked in a black hole? Would we all just float through the vastness of space for all eternity, sentient, starving and slowly going crazy?), I was prettier and apparently I may or may not have more than the standard vampire powers.

Anyway, at the moment I just wanted to complain. I think I deserve a day or too to whine to myself before bucking up and getting on with my life.

Hell, at least this way I'd be able to read everything I wanted. And see remakes of my favorite movies ( wonder if they'll do lord of the rings again?) and see all the cool stuff of the future! Ugh, lets just hope the future doesn't go all 1984 or Hunger Games on me. That would suck. But then, the vamps could have their own society.

I lost myself in a pleasant apocalypse day dream as I smoothed away the blood from my skin. It wasn't until I heard a huge crash and a mess of snarling from outside that I pulled myself out of it and snagged the clothes Alice had left for me by the door. I dressed in a flash and found myself beside my new… family as Rosalie, the lovely blonde from earlier, turned into a snarling demon like out of 30 days of night.

Oh, and she still managed to look mesmerizing. Damn.

Said mesmerizing vampire was on top of the poufy haired ass who'd attacked me. She had him by the throat, and there was a filigree of cracks spreading over his Leonardo Dicaprio cheekbones. I had very little sympathy for him, but didn't want Rosalie to murder her brother on my account. I barely knew these people and I didn't want to be a focal point of resentment and grief because I really didn't want to leave. I was already attached to them.

So I stepped between them when Edward managed to struggle free, and to my surprise, managed to hold them apart.

"Wow, Carlisle wasn't kidding about the newborn strength thing. No matter how totally implausible it is."