Expect the unexpected – part I
Making my way back to the lodge my thoughts were still racing, I struggled to keep an eye on my surroundings but couldn't keep up my attention. I had covered two thirds on the way back to my destination, as someone put a hand on my shoulder and tried to turn me around gentle but assertive. Adrenaline fuelled my veins instantly; cursing myself for being inattentive I spun around while moving away from the possible attack, luckily without hitting someone else. I stopped in the movement of reaching for the heavy pistol as I recognized that my opponent turned out to be the familiar face of a Krogan mercenary.
"Still playing the old scary, don't you?" His deep and rumbling voice easily drowned the noise level of the crowded streets. "I said to Sha'lea that I know this particular human ass when I saw you going by" He added with the Krogan equivalent of a smirk.
I needed a few seconds before I regained my composure completely. "Gatok! Sorry man, you just caught me unaware, I never thought I would say this, but I am happy to see your scarred Krogan face." I finally answered with a grin.
"What are you doing here, little human, seeking for a way to waste your money? Perfect playground, I can assure you. You'd like to join us for some time, we're sitting in a pub close by?
"The whole crowd then, isn't it? Would be glad to see you again, so count me in."
The "whole crowd" was actually a group of three mercenaries who teamed up permanently, building a small but powerful team. They had hired me several times in the past if they needed long-range firepower for an assignment. The even had asked me once if I would like to join their team permanently, what I had refused, preferring to stay alone, but I always liked to stay around these guys for some time. I won't use the term friends but they were as close to this as a relationship between mercenaries can get.
"Then let's go, the others didn't believe me it was actually you I've spotted" He turned around and I followed him into the pub where Racen, the turian member of the group waited.
"Old Gatok still has his moments, didn't believe him when he said it's you Gray, nice to see you, buddy, how you're doing lately?" He greeted me with a handshake, his face wearing a grin.
"Hi there Racen, can't believe I met you in this mess of a station, what a lucky coincidence! So, where's Sha'lea?"
"Right behind you, my favourite human youngling." Her melodious Asari voice whispered close to my ear as she appeared from behind me and set the tray she was carrying on the table. She gave me a tender kiss on my cheek. As she moved back, her eyes where fixed on mine, her hand softly touching my other cheek "Still this ever-present sadness in your eyes, of all things I hoped to see when we meet again, this was not part of it." She said with a soft and gentle voice, so the others wouldn't hear it.
I had to fight back the overwhelming urge to release the brooding emotions behind my mask of composure. "And your attentiveness and awareness still touches me, but some wounds cannot be healed."
She sighed at my answer. "I still hope you will find salvation in your life before your search for it will destroy you. But let us not speak of this anymore, this is a fight you seemingly want to engage alone." She turned around to the other two mercs of her team who had attentively watched the private conversation.
Sha'lea astonished me each time we met in the last years "It will be always a mystery to me how a woman can be both such caring and attentive and deadly like a cobra." Sha'lea was a former Asari commando, deadly both with weapons and her impressive biotics. Racen was the technician of the group and Gatok, well Gatok was a Krogan, no need to explain that in detail.
We all sat down at their table and Sha'lea shared the drinks she had brought. "I brought you a Whisky, the real stuff, no artificial bullshit, to quote you." She handed me the glass with a smile. "Let's share a drink and remember the good old times, if such a thing exists."
We all sipped at our drinks, and Sha'lea opened the conversation. "So tell us, what are you doing on this slime ball?"
"Nothing special, just bought some new equipment down at the markets and see if there's an interesting job. I heard you had a pretty little dogfight with some pirates all along with news you are heroes now." I replied now wearing a grin.
"Not that story again, I'm sick of telling people that is was an accident." Gatok's voice rumbled. "We just happened to be in the middle of the attack ya'know. It ended up in a close combat in their ship, was a good fight after all."
"What Gatok wants to express is, we actually didn't help the people but were not intrigued by the idea of being a slave." Sha'lea added with a smile in Gatok's direction.
"Just what I said then, scruffy idiots they were, 'wiped them out in dozens." Gatok stated.
"And all that heroes and bravery shit, well, after the fight – in which only two civilians died – we were immediately surrounded by all these news agents and their cameras. The rest you know from the video." Racen finished the story.
"Quite impressive anyway, if nothing else it has brought you some publicity, which is not the worst thing considering job offers. So, why are you here, at least Sha'lea always hated this place, a feeling I share by heart."
"We're just got paid for an extended contract over three months, plenty of money to spend right now." Sha'lea explained with a smile. We will stay another week looking for a new assignment, otherwise we're planned for Ilium."
"Ilium is more or less the same like Omega, but the look & feel is extensively better." I answered with a smirk. "Seems you all do well by the looks, any news on your side except the 'saviour of the colony' stuff?"
"Racen has discovered his weak side, he has a girl out there, fucking serious the whole thing if you ask me." Gatok stated.
Racen snorted. "Thanks for the kind introduction, you're all to charming as always. Nevertheless he is right, I'm actually thinking about settle down somewhere, earned enough money to make a decent life with it."
"And giving up all the fun we have! For a girl! Sha'lea will drive me nuts if you're not there to stop her bugging me." Gatok exclaimed, clearly upset by the prospect.
"Let's see who's first in getting nuts on the other, won't take a bet on myself, that's for sure." Sha'lea snickered.
There she may be right, without Racen as mediating element between those two, this won't last long." Keeping my thoughts to myself I preferred to ignore the teasing and addressed Racen. "That's great news Racen, I hope the two of you will make it."
"Thank you Gray, I'm still struggling with the decision, it's not easy to give up what you're used to, and – I must admit that – what you like, at least for most of the time."
"If I may give an advise: Enjoy and respect the time you have, don't take it as granted." My voice was grave at saying this, resembling my deep buried regrets about exactly that particular fact.
"In this you are right, and you seem to be very serious about it." Racen replied with a stern expression.
Sha'lea touched my arm again and said with a hushed voice. "For the first time I'm beginning to understand where all this grief is coming from, you never mentioned a word about it before."
As our eyes met the well of unwanted emotions inside me opened up again, this time I couldn't prevent my eyes from watering, just two drops, but enough to confirm her words.
Racen seemingly saw them too because he dropped the matter, changing the topic. "Enough of me for now, you've got some interesting tales to recount?"
"I'm falling apart, these attacks come in too often lately, and without a warning. It is about time to stop that, for better or for worse…"
Returning my attention to Racen, I came up with a tale about my latest assignment, the assassination of a slaver in the Argus Rho Cluster. The job itself was nothing special, but his business model was worth telling the story. "My target used to sell slaves and organized to steal the same slaves again for reselling. Of course not all the time but often enough that some of his clients got suspicious. I must admit it felt good to place a bullet in his head. I would have preferred to do the same to my client, these slavers don't deserve anything but vengeance of the worst kind."
"You're still trying to make the galaxy a better place, don't you? Better give up on that, won't make you happy." Racen stated.
"It is not happiness I'm searching for, it is oblivion."
An unpleasant silence followed my grave statement, finally Sha'lea broke in. "Gray, oblivion is a false friend, finding it means loosing who you are or – even worse – loosing your life."
"If that's what it takes, I'm willing to pay the price." I lowered my gaze, knowing how my words must sound to them.
"You seem to be very certain that there is no other way for you to tread, maybe you will find salvation instead of oblivion, but there's only hope if you believe in that." Sha'lea commented with sorrow in her voice.
"You all seem to be worried about my current state of mind, and I am thankful for this. Everything's got worse since we last met, somehow I am reaching a culmination point. I don't believe in anything any more, a certain event some years ago eradicated all hope in me."
"So you walk alone your self-destructive path to oblivion. Well, it's your life. All I can do is to renew our offer to join our group permanently. Maybe it helps you, maybe not, it is your decision.
Gatok and Racen nodded their approval silently, both wearing a stern expression. "Is it time for a change? Is it time to try something else than running away which obviously doesn't work out? Is it time for a last attempt to save myself?"
"I am unsure, on one hand, it is worth a try, on the other hand I swore myself to avoid under any circumstances implicating someone else in my personal version of hell."
"Again, it is your decision, and you don't have to answer then and there, take your time."
"Thank you for the offer, I promise to put some thought into it, maybe it is time for a change."
Racen answered this time. "Take your time, we will be here for roughly a week more, but you can contact us anytime, you already have the details."
A short silence followed, this time it was me who broke it. "Like another drink? This time it's on me."
"Count me in, I definitively need something after all this serious stuff." Gatok said relieved to leave that topic behind him. At the end he was a Krogan, it was not easy for him to understand the moods and behaviour of other species. The two others just nodded on my offer for another drink. I fetched the tray and went for the bar.
We spent another two hours talking about 'the good old times'. As Gatok started to recount old stories of times before they teamed up Racen issued a deep sigh. "Here we go again, it is about time to run, if you ask me."
Sha'lea giggled on his comment. "You should consider that particular option Gray, once he's getting warm there's no escape, we certainly know what we're talking about."
Gatok didn't even seem to recognize their teasing, he just moved on, completely consumed by his own glory. "…and then Gray, you won't believe it,…"
"Will he recognize if we just bail out then and there?"
"If all of us stand up and go I assume he will recognize it, he isn't drunk enough yet to give it a go right now, so we need patience and more drinks." Racen replied chuckling.
"Do you listen to me, Gray?" Gatok asked suddenly, somehow the fact that we had a conversation of our own had intruded his mind.
"Well, I already know this particular story, you told it to me two years ago on Antagon, remember?" It was a lie, but a kind one, we actually were on Antagon, but I never had heard that story, or maybe he had told it and I had forgotten it.
"Really? Ok then, what about that one." He exclaimed full of enthusiasm.
"Come on Gatok, get us another drink, I'm pretty sure Gray had his share of your old stories already, let's talk about something we don't know, for example tomorrows weather forecast." Sha'lea said with her sweetest "How to tame a Krogan battle master" voice.
"Ok I see, you're younglings are not interested in the knowledge of an old veteran, I go for the drinks." With that he went off for the bar.
"Is he seriously pissed off now?" I asked the two of them.
"He will have forgotten it by tomorrow, don't worry. He's not the resentful guy, whether this is because of his bad memory or a character trait I don't know, maybe a mixture of both." Racen answered still chuckling.
"After this drink I'm heading for the lodge, it is getting late and I need to be up very early tomorrow."
"Why that, you said you are looking for a job in the moment, which presumes you don't have an assignment, you've got some trouble?" Sha'lea glanced at me suspiciously.
"Could be, but I cannot talk about it, let's say I am going to deny an offer, and my possible client won't be amused about that. I am pretty sure he can't afford a loose end, and that's why I'm going to leave as soon as possible."
"Sounds like trouble to me at least, if you need help, we're here." Racen stated.
"Thank you, but this special offer is way above our league, just stay out of the line of fire if you cling to your life."
"Getting worse by the second if you ask me, be careful Gray, I'd like to see you again in one piece." The Asari touched my arm again, her eyes reflecting her concerns.
"I will find a way out, I'm pretty good at that." I assured her wearing a skew smile.
"Well, you did escape old Gatok's stories, not bad for a start." Racen assisted me.
Gatok came back with a new set of drinks, luckily I had insisted on drinking no alcohol past the first glass. "Would have ended up in a hangover, not the best precondition for my little hide and run task tomorrow."
We talked gossip for another quarter of an hour before I took my leave. "Ok guys, I have to go, it was great to see you all again, hope we can do that in time again."
They all bid their farewell to me, Sha'lea touched my cheek again, whispering close to my ear. "Look to yourself, and think about our offer, maybe it can help you."
"I will, but first I have to sneak out of the station, find some place to hide for a while and think it all over."
She nodded, stepping back, her bright green eyes expressing her concerns.
I left the pub heading for the lodge, this time determined to avoid any further distractions.