From Hell To Heaven
A/N Major thanks to svuobsessed2011, spacekitten2700, SteffieDawn, courtneylovejason and maerae93 for your fantastic reviews. And also to ShipperFor You for adding to favourite stories.
A major gap since my last update but in all honesty I did hit writers' block, I was struggling to get the words from my head to the paper. This might sound strange, but for those you have experienced Writers' Block before, you know exactly what I mean lol
This chapter is a bit longer than usual, thought it was fair given the extended time. I have changed my plan slightly of where this is headed, next chapter is going to be the Swanson interview, which I'm excited for myself lol Hope you like it x
Chapter 22-Swallowed Up
Olivia sat at her desk, reclined against the back of her chair, a satisfied smile played on her lips. She knew it wasn't over; the searching of Max's apartment had raised as many questions as it answered. She smiled up at Elliot as he planted a cup of coffee in front of her. Her favourite blend from her favourite store; she spied the logo.
"For the determined Detective." he charmed.
"You forgot, 'smart', 'brave' and downright 'gorgeous'." she grinned.
"No I didn't," Elliot smirked. "I just thought I would spare Fin the details." he chuckled, shedding his jacket.
"Appreciated." Fin muttered as he strolled past, heading out of the squadroom.
Elliot had just signed in all the evidence from the search, insistent that none of it be traceable back to Olivia. She smirked to herself again; she was finally getting somewhere with locking this bastard away.
"I'm looking for a Detective Benson." Olivia turned to see a 14-16 years old boy with a rucksack, his eyes scanning the room.
"That's me. Why don't you take a seat?" she ushered.
He gave her a quizzical look, but sat anyway.
"Ok, you're here; you can trust us." she soothed, reaching for a pen and notepad.
The frown on his expression continued to grow. "Ma'am, I'm just here to give you something."
She frowned as he lifted his rucksack from his back and dug something out of it. He handed her a slim, pink box, the kind you would get if a department store gift wrapped for you. Had Elliot gotten her a gift? That didn't make sense; she couldn't remember when he would have had the opportunity. And if he already had it then why didn't her just give it her himself. She looked across at him to see Elliot's confused and jealous eyes on the box; he obviously had no clue what it was; though from the small heart pattern, he definitely wanted to know who was sending her such things.
She lifted the lid off and set it aside. She folded back the tissue paper to find- her own underwear? That she hadn't seen since before her home was wrecked.
"Is this a joke?" she asked.
"Your husband likes kinky underwear,huh?" the kid asked with an eager, juvenile gleam in his eyes and a smile.
"Do you think this is funny?" she challenged.
His face fell at her sudden outburst. "Ma'am?"
"Do you have any idea what you've done?" she yelled at him, getting to her feet and towering over him. He hastily got to his feet, his eyes wide as he stood before Olivia and Elliot approached him. Elliot edged closer to see what was in the box. He hadn't 'personally' seen them before, but he did recognise them, Olivia had a habit of leaving her clean laundry basket in view of her guests.
"Where did you get these?" Elliot demanded.
"I just got told to deliever them. I didn't even know what it was." the boy fumbled, his face growing red.
"Who told you to do this?"
"Someone a few blocks away gave me $20 to deliever it, I figured it was a surprise for someone." He seemed genuine.
Elliot and Olivia looked at each other. "Empty your pockets." Elliot ordered, snapping on a single latex glove.
The kid fumbled again in a hurry, depositing a pack of gum, a creased $20 dollar bill and a condom on to Olivia's desk. Elliot lifted the condom, with raised eyebrows.
"Oh, man," the young guy muttered, as though he had been busted by his parents.
"Got plans tonight, stud?" Elliot questioned.
"One of my friends gave it to me."
Elliot clearly read the lie, as he dropped it in to the trash. "What are you, 14?"
"I'm 15!" he argued. "In 2 weeks." he added.
Elliot rolled his eyes. "How would your mother feel about this?"
He saw panic in the boy's eyes. "There's no need to call my mom, it's not illegal to have contraception and all I did was deliver a package."
"Yeah, possibly for a rapist and a murderer."
The boy's resolve seemed to crumble. "Am I in trouble?"
"Depends; think you can ID this person who gave you the package?" Elliot asked.
"No, they kept their hood up."
Olivia sighed. "Elliot, he doesn't know anything. Hey," she tossed the gum to the boy. "Get out of here."
"Do I get my money back?" he asked hopefully, eyeing the bill in Elliot's hand.
"No, and be thankful I'm not having a car escort you back to your parents." Olivia's threat seems genuine enough for him to quickly head for the door.
Olivia glanced down at the box. She didn't even want to think what those stains were. Something caught her eye, she eased it out to see it was a card, similar to what came with flowers. She flipped it open and read outloud.
"Dear Olivia, our last meeting was just as eventful as the first, perhaps the next one will be the same. By now, you will have your evidence. Analyse it and be one step closer to me. Freedom smells so sweet." she finished hollowly.
'Freedom? He got out?' she panicked, her hand subconsciously resting on her gun.
"No, Liv," Elliot calmed. "He's just trying to scare you; make you lose focus." He could see it wasn't working. "I promise, I will always protect you. I'll even call the prison and have the warden personally check on him. Ok?"
After a moment she blinked and looked up at him. "I'm sorry, what?"
He gave a nervous chuckle, increasingly concerned about her welfare. Over her shoulder, he saw Fin and John marching in Swanson.
"Swanson for questioning-again." John said.
Swanson spied the gift box and Olivia's expression- and passed her a knowing smirk that made her feel sick. She turned away while they took him to Interrogation, taking deep breaths.
"Scared?" Elliot asked, stepping beside her with his arms folded and leaning against her desk. He knew the question wasn't even applicable to her, or at least he liked to think so. And even though she glared her answer to him in denial, he knew there were times she'd been terrified, times she had still not told him about.
"I am not scared of Swanson." she insisted. "I'm just..." she sighed and rubbed her neck, hiding a wince. She dropped her hand and looked for a suitable answer.
Elliot dropped his arms and placed them on her hips, bringing her in front of him. She leaned her back against his chest, warming by the contact and loving the firm pressure from his muscles. His crotch fit snugly behind her, meaning she had to hide the desire that rose in her chest. She felt his strong hands on her shoulders, gently grazing up to her neck. His firm yet delicate fingertips kneaded her muscles, easing the tension they held. She sighed at the ease his ministrations caused.
"I just," she determinedly continued, allowing her hands to lower to his thighs either side of her, and grip them gently. "-feel a little tired." In all honesty she was exhausted, but she knew she had to keep working.
"Mm-hmm." he simply responded, his warm breath tickling her neck as he leaned closer, his hand sliding down her arms to take her hands. His hands remained in hers as he wrapped his arms around her waist. He placed a quick kiss on the exposed base of her neck and rested his chin there, unaware of the shivers he'd caused to run down her body. His lips were inches from her ear as she heard his soft words escape. "Why don't we leave the movies tonight, I'll take you home instead."
She smiled at his reference of his apartment being her home. But she still felt guilty. "No, you've obviously been thinking about tonight for a while and I don't want to spoil it. I'll just drink plenty of coffee and..."
"Liv, I'm not going to take you out if all you're thinking about is going to bed, it's unfair on you."
She smirked, seeing the inuendo in his words, even though she knew he didn't mean it that way.
"I'm taking you home; you can take a shower, have a glass of wine and relax." he placed another kiss on her neck. She gave a noticable shiver, he smiled and moved to rub her upper arms.
"You know Stabler, you really need to get to grips with this 'professionalism in the workplace' thing." she grinned, twisting slightly to look up at him.
"Oh yeah?" he smirked, leaning clsoer. Their lips barely touched when Fin hurried in. Elliot sighed and rolled his eyes.
"Break it up, Cragen's on his way." Fin called.
Olivia immediately stepped away from and Elliot strided to his own seat. He had barely sat when Cragen stormed in.
"What the hell to you think you were doing?" he bellowed.
Elliot and Olivia exchanged a fleeting glance of panic.
"Captain, it's not what-"
"Do you have any idea how much ammunition you've just gave the defence?"
"Please, Captain you don't understand-" Olivia tried again.
"No, you don't understand. Do you have any idea how suspicious trashing his apartment is going to look?" he demanded.
Olivia and Elliot exchanged another glance, their hearts releasing the vice-like grip they had be holding. Olivia sighed.
"Tearing through his apartment for revenge is a hinderence, Olivia." Cragen said, his eyes latching on to hers.
"It wasn't Olivia." Elliot challenged. He stood up, his stance wide. "I searched the apartment."
Cragen merely looked at him, an unbelieving look in his eye.
"So you were the one who deliberately broken his games consoles and smashed open his TV?" Cragen doubted.
Elliot nodded. "Criminals have been known before to unscrew the back of their television sets in order to stash something, I've seen it before."
"And his bookshelf?" Don pressed.
"He could have hidden things between the pages." Elliot simply said.
"That's bull, Elliot, and you know it! You let Olivia go through his stuff like a bulldozer and you didn't think to stop her."
"I did what was necessary." Elliot said calmly, for once in his life, not letting his temper get the better of him.
"And what was that?" Don demanded at the top of his voice.
"I had her back!" Elliot boomed back. He took a few breaths to steady himself. Elliot could tell Don didn't believe a word of it, but he also knew he would cover for her too if anyone called them out on it; anything to protect her. "I signed in all the evidence, it's under my name, and if anyone asks, I found it all. Olivia was there purely as a observationary officer to witness evidence collection."
"I'm sorry, Cap', I-" Olivia tried.
"I don't want to hear it." Cragen interrupted. "Swanson is being held til morning, so you two get your faces out of my sight for the rest of the day. Unfocused Detectives are useless." he strode off, leaving Olivia almost wounded by his accusation. She sat back down as her eyes watered.
"Liv, don't listen to him."
"No, he's right."
"Olivia, you're a damn good cop, just because your got too involved-"
"Too involved? Could I be any more involved, Elliot? This whole case is surrounding me! But he's right, you even told me, I have a conflict of interest. I should have took a step back."
She piled up the paperwork on her desk and put it in the draw. She sighed. "I don't want to argue about this."
"Nothing to argue about."
She read his tone of voice and heard the sincerity.
"Let's just go home." he offered.
He gathered his things while he reached for her coffee. Cold. "Damn it.' She knew he'd gone to the effort, her store was almost 20 blocks from his route. 'Wonder if we can order Chinese when we got home.' She smiled. Home? Perhaps being with Elliot in a long-term wouldn't be so difficult afterall, they'd already been together for years anyway.
xXx
Elliot's hands hadn't left her body since he had first placed them there. In the car, his hand held hers as he drove. His hands grazed her hips as they waited for the elevator. His lips captured hers as soon as the doors slid shut, only to begrudgingly tear away when they slid open again to reveal his elderly neighbour. She smiled coyly as they edged passed her, muttering apologies. They quickly headed inside, stifling their laughs.
Once the door was closed, she punched him lightly on the arm, sharing a smile.
"I'm going to take a shower." she said, sashaying away.
She heard his murmured acknowledgement as he rifled through his kitchen drawers. She saw him pull a Chinese menu out as she closed the door.
The bathroom was already warm from the large radiator on the side wall. She retrieved a fresh towel, dropped it over the side of the bathtub and quickly stripped down. She reached for the shower but her hand instinctively hesitated.
'What if the water runs cold again?' she thought. She looked down at her hip that already had a light flourishing of purple. She dropped her hand and edged back from the bathtub. She hated to feel scared and helpless, so how could she do something that would lead her to feeling that way? 'I can't, I can't, I can't,' she chanted over and over in her head, her eyes fixed on the showerhead. She couldn't step under the freezing stream of water that would take her back to Sealview. She hastily wrapped the towel around herself, suddenly feeling exposed and vulnerable. She felt pathetic for cowering away from a shower, she had been in gun fights for Christ's sake! But the fear was overwhelming and she couldn't move past it. She closed her eyes tight, trying to concentrate.'I'm at Elliot's, I'm safe. I'm home, it's going to be ok. I can do this. I can do this!' But as she looked up, she still couldn't bring herself to turn the water on.
There came a soft knocking at the door. She cursed herself; could this situation get any worse?
"Liv? Are you ok in there?"
"I-I'm fine, El." she answered, hearing just how uneven her voice was. There was a moment of silence as she prayed for him to just leave so she could regain herself.
"It's just, you've been in there a while now...but I don't hear any water running."
She choked up at his words, holding in her sobs to remain silent.
"I'm coming in, ok?" She could tell her permission was irrelevant, he was determined to check on her.
She cursed herself for forgetting to lock the door as he opened it freely. She avoided his eyes as he looked her over, seeing the embarressment in her expression, even though she was trying to hide it.
"Ah, Liv," he muttered, concern clear in his eyes.
"Hey, El," she said, a hollow chuckle escaping her lips.
He moved closer, sitting on the edge of the bathtub beside her.
"Let me guess- you're fine?" She knew he wasn't looking for an answer; she didn't have one even if he did.
"Panic attacks." was all he said. She merely nodded and then heard his deep release of breath. "Ok." he said acceptingly. He'd witnessed her attack in the interrogation room, but it was obviously more extensive. "How often?"
"I'm not a ticking bomb, Elliot." she retorted.
"Come on Liv, don't get defensive, I just want to help you."
She knew it was true, all he ever thought about was her. And he would never think differently of her, not matter what she had done. Or had done to her. She took a deep breath.
"They're not a recurring problem, and I don't think they're going to be." she simply said, pointlessly hopeful that he would drop the issue.
"How many have you had them?"
She sighed. "Only the two but-"
"Two?" he interrupted; he was only aware of the one, he had only asked to see if she was willing to talk about the interrogation room, not with the expectation of more incidents.
She ducked her head and stood up. She saw his expression change in the expectation she was leaving, she merely said "Just look."
She stood up, clutching the towel against the body. She placed her leg between the overlap of the fabric, revealing high up her thigh, and the flowering bruise on her hip. Elliot's eyes hardened at the sight.
"Who hurt you?" he demanded, a deep frown appearing.
Olivia took her seat once more, eager to hide the evidence of her loss of control. "Nobody hurt me Elliot, it was my own fault, I slipped-"
"Oh, really? Like you could easily walk in to a door?" he said doubtfully.
"I had a panic attack in the shower and I fell." she admitted, hating how weak she felt. She could see his brain working overtime to connect the dots. "The water ran cold and I flashedback to Sealview. I slipped and fell."
"In the tub?"
She hesitated, knowing he could see right through her. "No, on the floor." There was another moment of silence as he waited. "I panicked and jumped from the water and I..." she sighed. "I...dove, on to the floor." She hated how silly it sounded.
"Liv-"
"It wasn't a choice Elliot, it was a reflex, before I knew anything I was already on the floor."
There was a heavy silence that, to Olivia, felt almost suffocating. "Feel free to run a mile, if necessary." she muttered, readying herself for his rejection, no longer wanting to be with her now he knew the extend of her issues.
"I'm not going anyway." he shrugged, when her eyes met his. He lowered himself down on to his knee in front of her, encasing her hand within his own strong pair. "Olivia, when are you going to realise that I'm in this for the longrun? I know you said go steady but I don't feel like we need to. We have been partners for years, best friends the entire time, I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone but you."
He saw her lips tug either side, a tell-tale sign she was supressing a smile.
"I know we have a lot to work through and it's going to be difficult...but I'm going to be here for all of it. Beside you." He leaned up and placed a kiss at the corner of her mouth, kissing the shadow of her smile. "Now come on." he said, guiding her up.
"What?" she asked as she rose to her feet.
Elliot said nothing, but instead reached over and switched on the shower. The sudden spurt of water made her jump a little, her eyes wide at Elliot.
She shook her head at him, her eyes dancing between his and the stream of water. "I can't do this," escaped her lips.
"Yes, you can." Elliot encouraged. She shook her head over and over as she felt his hand on hers. He delicately eased her hand from the towel, the blood instantly flowing back to her whitened knuckles. Her determination not to let go was the desire to stay as far away as possible from the shower, but also to keep herself covered. Revealing her body to Elliot in the throes of passion was one thing, but standing naked in front of him, with no heat-of-the-moment to cloud his vision was another. But his expert fingers finally won as she loosened her grip.
She felt selfconscious yet beautiful; she couldn't help feeling exposed, but how could she not love how his eyes lingered on her body. He placed a quick kiss on the back of her hand, before reaching up and pulling his shirt over his head. She almost went weak at the knees as she watched his muscles ripple and flex from the movement. He disgarded his shirt and then his pants to the floor. In one quick movement he was as naked as her. He confidently stepped in to the tub and held out his hand to her.
She merely looked at it as a worried crease clouded her forehead.
"Liv, I promise nothing is going to hurt you."
She took a shuddering breath and clasped his hand, allowing him to pull her closer. She stood facing the shower, with Elliot between her and the stream. He stepped back, and again, guiding her with him, bringing her closer to the water; more more accurately- the possibility of confronting Sealview. She held his eyes, seeing his calculating view as he monitored her emotions.
"No," she murmured. "Elliot, please, I can't."
"I know you can Olivia. I know how strong you can be...but I think maybe you've forgotten. Trust me?"
"I trust you." she answered instinctively.
He pulled her even closer, bringing the warm stream of water down on her. She took a breath as he encircled her with his strong arms. He moved closer, allowing the water to run down her back. He knew it was coming, as did she, the icy cold flow of water thanks to his rubbish plumbing. He could feel her heart pounding against his chest, her hands clenching at his lower back. He stepped forward with her, sharing the downpour.
His spine seized as the freezing water splashed down him. Olivia threw her body against him, her nails digging in his skin, yearning for the warmth and escape.
"It's ok, I'm here." he soothed, his arms locked around her.
Flashes flooded her vision. Bars. Orange jumpsuits. Freezing water like knives, stabbing all over her body.
"You can do this." Elliot whispered, her ear tingling from his brushing breath.
Her grip eased as the water began to turn, the icy edge weakening as it warmed. Her breathing slowed, escaping in deep gasps. But he held her just as tight as her nails held him. Soon the water was blustering steam around them. Her nails unclenched, her heart slowed considerably and her vision became clear again as her tears merged with the water.
Elliot placed his finger under her chin and guided her eyes to his. As soon as she saw the crystal blue she felt safe again. There were no bars, only Elliot's strong arms. And definitely no orange jumpsuits as their now wet bodies melted perfectly together. The water now erupted down their forms, swallowing up in steam as they embraced passionately.
"My beautifully strong Liv,"
A/N I wanted Liv to have a recovery moment with Elliot, and I thought the whole panic attacks thing needed to be discussed. I love how their relationship is more stable now, especially with what's planned further in the story.