From Hell To Heaven

Chapter 24- Cruel To Be Kind

A/N Thanks to lou3174,courtneylovejason,BenslerBaby,maerae93 andSteffieDawn for reviewing, your comments make it worth posting x Also thank you to Lesya74, jehkovac and Miyu Ca for adding story alerts. And Miyu Ca, filtersaurus and BenslerBaby for adding to favourite story.

I meant to post this ages ago but I was crazy busy (I got an interview for my chosen university ^.^) I know not everyone like it when Elliot and Olivia fight but I find it really easy to type, but it's for a purpose I swear lol.

Elliot stayed in the room by himself a while after Huang had departed. He sat on the aged couch with his head bowed, a disappointed sigh still on his lips. Olivia had gotten tunnel vision, just as he had expected, but it was understandable. He had seen the differences in the attacks, but had avoided them to support Olivia in her urgency to capture Swanson. He couldn't help but feel a little guilty. Had he led her in to a false sense of security that could penultimately lead to her getting hurt? He sighed and heaved himself up. He exited, hoping to mask his emotions.

xXx

"You ok?" he asked Liv, seeing her frustration.

"What, after Huang told me there's still a psycho after me? Oh, I'm just peachy." she retorted, rolling her eyes and went on searching files on her computer, taking occasional notes.

"Liv, come on, don't be petulant." He knew immediately he had said the wrong thing as her eyes burnt at him.

"You bastard!" She slammed down her pen. "Don't you dare treat me like a child!" she yelled, ignoring the eyes in her direction. She barged past him, heading for a cup of coffee.

Elliot followed behind her. "Liv, I'm not-"

"And don't treat me like a civilian!" she challenged. He knew she was right. "You may think I'm this- fragile, broken, weak woman, but I'm not! I don't need to be mollycoddled or babysat, ok? I don't always need your help."

"Oh really?" he dared in a hushed tone. "You wouldn't have even been able to take a shower last night if it wasn't for me!"

Her whole demeanor changed. She sat down the empty mug she was holding. Her eyes turned icy and she turned her back on him.

"Liv-" he called in protest, he had really screwed up this time. "Liv, please, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that-"

"Damn right, you shouldn't," she cursed, heading for her desk.

"I know, I shouldn't have thrown that in your face, it was cruel and-" She pulled on her coat. "And where are you going?"

"The lab- see what they have on that note." she muttered, unconcerned if he heard or not.

"Well, let me get my jacket, I'll come with you."

He saw the bedgrudging nod; she didn't want him there, he knew that. She was angry with him, he knew this dispute wasn't over, she was just keeping the relationship out of the office;they were still partners no matter what he said to piss her off. Elliot caught the glare from Fin as he pulled on his coat. 'Great, now I have two Detectives baying for my blood.'

xXx

They drove in silence. She had sped off from the curb just as he had gotten in the car; he assumed she was resisting the urge to speed off without him. She didn't look at him, didn't even glance in his direction. But if he looked at her she turned to look the opposite way out the window until he looked away again.

"Liv, please-" he began but as she looked away again he sighed. "I know I shouldn't have said it, God, I didn't even mean it! I was just angry, well not angry but-" he flustered, he was never very good at saying what he felt when it mattered most. "I didn't like how you were pushing me away. I hate to feel a distance between us and I didn't like how you were putting walls up between us. I know you're not a civilian, you're a good cop Liv. A great cop actually, I know that. Liv, please just talk to me. Please?"

She stayed silent but he knew she was listening; being overly emotional was out of character for him, and he only opened up when it was absolutely necessary. Helping Olivia and keeping her safe was his priority, and if that meant having to lay everything out for her to see then so be it; it's not like she hadn't seen it all before, she knew him as well as he knew her.

She still didn't look at him, but he saw her clenching and unclenching her hand on the steering wheel, a sure sign she was thinking about something. He didn't press it; she'd say something when she was ready.

They were pulled up outside when she finally spoke, letting the engine idle.

"I'm not an idiot, Elliot."

He considered for a moment, trying to gauge what answer she was looking for. But really there was only one asnwer he could ever give to that statement. "I know you're not, Olivia." He had never seen her as any less than perfect.

"I know I'm not perfect," Ironic?

"You are to me." he interrupted, sensing it was not a welcomed one, even if it was a compliment.

"Elliot, finally getting Max was when I have finally started to feel safe since...since what Harris did." He didn't say anything, it was her turn to share. "The last thing I needed to hear was that there was a chance he could get off. Not to mention the idea that he's got backup; another raging lunatic after my head." She sighed and turned off the ignition. "Come on." she said, unbuckling her belt.

Elliot followed suit. "So, are we good now?" he asked hopefully. He saw her hesitate but otherwise ignore him and get out of the car.

'I'll take that as a no,' he thought, opening his door and wondering just how much damage he had done in that one off-hand comment.

xXx

They were silent in the elevator up to the floor of the lab. They were silent as they walked the corridor and silent as they knocked on the door. So, despite it not being directed at him, Elliot was glad to hear her voice when she finally spoke.

"Got anything useful?" she teased at their resident science guy.

"Well that is my job." he joked back. Elliot hated how she smiled sweetly for that guy and yet was shooting daggers in his direction. "I ran a full diagnostic on that note you gave me."

"And?"

"And it gave me a headache." he smiled.

"I'll loan you an aspirin." she chuckled.

"You actually got anything, or are you wasting our time?" Elliot retorted, annoyed that this 20-something science geek was getting more interaction with Liv than he was. He understood why she was annoyed, but that didn't mean this guy was allowed to shamelessly flirt with his Liv.

His face fell as he looked up at Elliot. "Yes, sir, er-" he spun on his chair to click open files on his computer. "I ran for fingerprints, two sets-"

"Run them through the computer?" Elliot quickly interrupted.

"Of course, came up as a Max Swanson and Lowell Harris, like you expected." He looked up apologetically at Olivia.

"Ok," she sighed. "What else?"

"I ran the text through a linguistic analyser-"

Elliot rolled his eyes. 'Why can they never just say what they mean?' "Any chance of losing the science babble?"

"Basically, it looks at the letters, sequences of those letters and language used, how it's written, with pen or typed, how that person writes."

Elliot was still none the wiser.

"It's an anagram." the young man informed.

"An anagram?" 'Hope it makes more sense than it does at the minute.' Olivia thought.

"So the computer rearranged the letters?" Elliot assumed.

"Yes. The system picked out grammatical errors, such as capitals mid sentence, and misplaced punctuation."

"Ok, ok, skip to the answers." Elliot cut short.

He spun in his chair again, sending something to the printer and then standing up. He flipped through a box of evidence bags and pulled out the relevant one; the note.

"This was the original note," he handed them the baggie, pointless as they had seen it before. "And this," he plucked the piece of paper from the printer and handed it them. "-Is what the computer got when the letters were unscrambled."

Olivia heard Elliot curse under his breath as he read the name of the addressee on the envelope.

'TO dead detective Benson'

"You've gotta be kidding me." Elliot sighed. Olivia turned over the plastic bag in her hands to see the letter open on the other side.

'Well done, Olivia, if you're reading this then you have found your perp. But our game is not over. There are more pieces to this puzzle than you thought. Show me how clever you are and see how far the rabbit hole goes. CO-'

"Great." she mumbled under her breath.

"That's not the least of it," the lab tech interrupted. "I ran a diagnostic on the handwriting. I pulled the old records of Swanson and Harris; health insurance, employment contracts, dental plans, that sort of thing-"

"What for?" Elliot interrupted.

"I was getting to that." He noticed Elliot's tightened eyes and shifted a little. "I er-" he cleared his throat. "I wanted to compare the handwriting from the note. The computer picked up 27 significant features."

"What does that mean?" Olivia asked.

"When you're writing, it comes fluidly, you don't even think about how you're moving the pen. The computer looks for the repetitive movements we subconsiously make; how you cross your T, or swirl your S, even how you draw your punctuation."

"Ok, so it matched Harris', right? That's what 'CO-' means." Olivia said instinctively.

"Yes, it did. How he wrote 'CO-' was a direct match to how he wrote it on his job application when applying to sealview."

"Lucky me." she mumbled.

"Sorry, Liv. I doubt it's what you wanted to hear." said the 'science geek', as Elliot thought of him.

"Detective Benson and I," Elliot emphasised. "-Have everything we need for now. Get back to us if there's anything new."

xXx

They descended the steps outside the lab building.

"Can you believe this?" Elliot muttered at Olivia, who didn't respond. Elliot unlocked the car but Olivia hesitated.

"You know what, I'm going to go for coffee." she said, turning on her heel.

He frowned. "Liv, come on, if you don't wanna talk to me-fine, I get it, but don't got wandering off by yourself."

"I'm not wandering, I'm going to the coffee shop around the corner." she retorted, turning her back to him.

"Then get in, and I'll drive you there." he offered.

"I need the fresh air." He stepped up and grabbed her wrist as she tried to head off again. She yanked her arm away in reflex. "Don't touch me!" Her eyes were fiery, but apologetic. "I-"

"It's ok." he interrupted. He was used to her reflexes; just when he thought she was starting to move past it, there would be flashes of panic that she couldn't control. There was an awkward silence between them for a moment. "Liv, it's ok."

"Elliot, please, I just need some time alone."

"Liv, you can't go off by yourself with this whackjob on the loose."

"Why? Because I can't protect myself?" she demanded angrily. "Because I'm a woman or because I'm weak?" she frustration bubbled.

"You're not weak and you're a damn good cop, you know that, and you know I know that." he reasoned, for once, forbidding his angry to stay hidden; the last thing he needed was to get annoyed and say the wrong thing again.

"Or is it because I was sexually assaulted and I can't control my emotions about it?" Several people looked in their direction at her furious outburst. "Maybe I'll flashback in the coffee shop and need you to hold my hand? Or panic when I see someone with a flashlight because that's what Harris had?"

Olivia waited for him to respond. He merely stepped up to her, inches between them. "Olivia Benson, I don't think of you as weak. I never have. The fact that you're a woman doesn't mean you're any less of a Detective. I didn't mean what I said. So you had flashbacks. So you had panic attacks. That doesn't, and never will, make you less beautiful to me. Now you can stand here and scream at me, shout at me, maybe even hit me, I don't care. Yes I had to help you last night," he saw her frustration in her eyes. "But that doesn't mean anything. Think of all those times when you helped me, all the times I've needed you and you were there. There's nothing wrong with needing help, Olivia." He saw her chest fall drastically as she silently sighed. "Now, come on, get in the car."

He opened his door. "No." she heard her say. "I'm going it alone Elliot."

He spun to look at her retreating back. 'Going it alone...that doesn't sound good...did she just break up with me?' he panicked. 'God no...'

"Olivia..." he called as his heart held tight like a vice. 'Don't say it, don't say I've lost what I love most...please...' he begged.

She hesitated looking over her shoulder. She passed him a weak smile. "I'll see you at home, El." And with that she turned the corner.

'Home? She's coming home...' His heart finally released in an almsot painful thump! as he slid in to the car and slammed the door. She may be angry, she may be upset...but at least she was still his. 'My Liv,'

A/N . So Harris has been up to his old tricks; I think Harris would be smart enough to plan all this, despite being caught he was smart enough to go the hospital and steal the rape kit, and run a drug smuggling ring in and out of Sealview. And did you really think I'd have them split up? Of course not! ^.^ My thinking behind this argument is that Liv is feeling inferior, as though she's less of a person because of what she's been through (rubbish of course), and Elliot still sees her as the incredible woman she's always been. Plus, he's being protective while she knows she can care for herself. Like it or not? Reviews would make me smile xx (Sorry if there are any errors, I had to quickly spellcheck at the last second.)