After an uneasy night I woke up the next morning. "Feels like I've been hit by a dreadnaught, never mix battle & beer, guess I'll never learn that lesson…"
Turning around I found the bed empty beside myself. "Serena? Are you in the bathroom?...Well, no answer is also one." I stood up to take a shower. "Hope she's with Sha', she seemed really conscience-stricken, and I must admit this time it is for a reason."
The cold water washed the numbness away and I felt refreshed despite my aching muscles. I donned some clothes and went for the cafeteria to catch a coffee and some breakfast. It was nearly deserted when I entered the room – considering the advanced time of the day no real surprise - only a few tables were occupied. On the far end I made out some familiar faces, Gatok and Racen were busy eating their late breakfast. I poured myself a coffee and piled some food on my plate and sat down at their table. "Hi guys, how is it today."
Racen looked at me with weary eyes. "Let's say we had a couple more drinks after you left the party silently. Maybe the last one was foul, anyway my head feels like a bee-hive."
Gatok rumbled his affirmation. "Those drinks of Sha' always put me over the edge, whatever she brews there, it's devastating!"
Racen persuaded his features to come up with a wry smile. "Yeah, but they taste great."
"Speaking 'bout her, where is she?"
"Well, your two favourite Asari maidens seemingly have a way with those drinks, Sha' kicked us out an hour ago. They're currently practicing biotic skills in our lodge, that's basically why we are here, I'd prefer to stay in bed for the rest of the day." Racen answered, still wearing his wry smile.
"So it seems we've got some time to kill, any ideas how to solve this issue?"
"Do we actually look like we're havin' ideas? I'm fed up with staying awake currently." Still that wry smile.
I glanced at him inquisitively. "Well, at least you keep smiling, can't be that bad after all."
"Believe me, this is one of the worst hangovers I ever had, you missed the fun part, guess you and Serena had a little disagreement before you left?"
"Let's say we had an accident which had the same origin as your hangover."
"An accident?" Racen's smile disappeared. "That she has a crush on you is kind of obvious, even Gatok had mentioned it. But you're so occupied with your own past that you didn't see that coming, right? The drinks only lowered her barriers, this would have happened sooner or later anyway."
"you're maybe right, but this was definitively the wrong place and the wrong time to…"
He interrupted me. "Gray, listen to yourself, according to you there's never the right time or the right place to get along with your past. I heard this very excuse at least ten times during the past years on the few occasions we met." Despite his obvious weariness his voice was clear and precise.
He dumbfounded me with this attack. "Maybe he's right, but not today…there you go buddy, caught in action and guilty, so far for the excuses."
"You're maybe right my friend, it is about time for a change, but right now right here is neither the right time nor the right place. But I'll get to that after this mission."
"Well, that's a promise I'll remind you about if necessary, and I know at least two women in fancy blue will assist me in that, maybe I can even convince old Gatok, right?" He bumped Gatok with his elbow.
The Krogan's head snapped up, he obviously had taken a little nap. "Hm? Sorry, missed that one, something important?" His weary gaze swept from Racen to me and back.
"Never mind, actually it has been so nice and cosy while you took your nap." Racen chuckled. "The mighty warlord finally beaten – by a barrel of ale!"
Gatok moaned extensively before he was able to answer. "Maybe I should show you how beaten I am actually, you'll fit into that ale-barrel when I'm finished."
"A Turian in an ale barrel while a Krogan moans like a toad beside him, I like it. But let me fetch my camera first, if you please."
Now both turned around to me, Racen still chuckling. "Be careful or you'll get both our attention. Anyway be sure I'll remember what you've said, and I'm going to remind you."
I nodded. "Fair enough, my friend, fair enough."
"Stop that gloomy talking, or I'll skip the breakfast and beg Sha' for more drinks." The Krogan's rumbling voice closed the discussion and I was glad about it.
"You begging me, never thought I'll live to see that!" Sha'lea and Serena had appeared seemingly out of nowhere, or – and that might be the more likely reason – we all were to drowsy to recognize anything else but our immediate surroundings.
Serena sat down at a small table close to us as our chairs were all occupied but stayed silent, her head held low. Sha' halted before me gesturing in Serena's direction. "The two of you have something to discuss, I suggest we switch places."
Racen chuckled. "Honeymoon's over my friend, and you thought it hadn't even started yet."
A killing glance from Sha'lea silenced him quickly, her gaze returned to me, eyebrow raised in question. "Well?"
"Who could resist such a friendly invitation? Although I don't get it, she was drunk, overconfident and overstepped it a little, shit happens, I'm not mad at her."
"Don't tell me, tell her, and be gentle." Her answer was firm and serious.
Taking my coffee mug I walked over to Serena's table and sat down. "Good morning, little one." I made a short pause, as no answer came I continued. "To be straightforward I am not mad at you, and I don't want to talk it all over again, I'm too drowsy today to discuss this in full length."
For the first time she raised her head, revealing her puffy eyes. "Hi Gray." She swallowed. "I'm glad to hear you're not mad at me, but there's more to it than just the incident itself, at least for me."
"Well, Sha' suggested the two of us have to talk, here I am, I told you I'm not mad at you and I'm usually not the resentful guy. Are you going to tell me more or does it stay that ominous."
Her features showed the hint of a smile for the first time. "You're maybe not resentful but you're definitively impatient. I' going to tell you more, but not right here, would you mind if we go to our room?"
"Not before you've done with your breakfast, my dear. And you're right, patience is not a trait I claim to have." I answered with a reassuring smile, trying to comfort her a little.
"If you fetch me one of those coffees we have a deal." This time the smile was clearly visible. "Guess I'll need some of those to get past the day, my head aches terribly and I'm still dizzy a little.
"There's only one way to get to know alcohol: the hard one!" I couldn't help myself but grin on that. "Well, I'll see to the coffee, be right back:"
When I came she had eaten her small breakfast. Gesturing on her plate I placed the coffee mug before her. "Want some more?"
"Hell no, I was barely able to convince myself to eat at all, and I'm still unsure if I can convince my stomach to keep it."
"Well, if not you're going to see it again very soon. And before you start beat me 'cause I'm mean, I'm down that road before, and not only once, be sure." I commented with a smirk.
"Don't worry, I'm glad to sit and walk upright, and I'm pretty fed up with these tasks." With that she took her mug and stood up. "Shell we go? I could use a bed, and a new head besides."
"Leave the head where it is, it's a pretty one and who knows what you get?" I couldn't stop myself from teasing her. "And besides, it isn't a real hangover without the mockery."
She glanced at me, halfway pleased and halfway sad, but said nothing. "I see where this is goin' to end, seems Racen is right and she has a crush on me, as if I won't have enough problems on my own I can't figure out. Maybe I should ask Sagrin if he has another suicide mission for today, that way I'll most likely miss out the confession session in castle Carlyle & Massana. And to make things worse Sha's gonna kill me if I hurt her little protégé."
In the meanwhile we had reached the elevator and went up to the first floor. Silently we walked to our lodge and I opened the door and let her in. Taking a last deep breath I followed her, halfway assuming what will follow.
She slumped on the bed, obviously enjoying it to sprawl herself into the linen. "This feels so much better than sitting in the cafeteria, you wanna accompany me?"
I raised an eyebrow. "Under different circumstances I would count that as a very obvious invitation to deepen our relationship, but I presume this was unintentional."
Her eyes grew wide in astonishment. "No, but…no that's not what I meant, I just…"
Her obvious astonishment caused me to laugh out loud. "Sorry, that sudden change from total comfort to total bewilderment was too hilarious." I sat down on the bedside, still trying to calm down.
She hit me with a pillow on the head. "This' gonna cost you dearly." The next blow went home, but I was able to block the third one before starting my counterattack. I caught her arms after evading another blow, rolled over and pinned her down to the bed.
"I must admit your quite agile for a first-timer hangover, here's your only chance to give up."
She tried to free her arms but to no avail. "What if I won't? You're gonna bind me?" She asked with a roguish smile.
"Better not, looks like you'd like it." I released her and rolled over to the other bedside, placing my head sideways on the pillow in question. "And what's next now that I accompany you?"
She turned around to face me, her features suddenly had a sad expression, the smile had vanished. "That depends on you and what you say after I'm finished." Her voice sounded drop dead serious now. She took a deep breath and continued. "The last couple of days were taxing for me in many different ways, being exposed to death and violence for one, followed by shuttle races while the air is laden with bullets, waiting for you to return in one piece, being part of a conspiracy that engulfs this whole station and – last but not least – you."
Before I was able to issue a question she raised her hand. "Please let me finish first, I'm going to explain the latter part." She took another deep breath before locking her eyes onto mine again. "We only know each other since a few days but to me it feels like it has been months already, whether this is due to the events that came to pass I don't know and I don't care, it is as it is. As things are you are more to me than just a friend, I wouldn't go that far and call it love, but certainly it is a deep affection. I'd like to be near you, I'd like to touch you, I'd like to kiss you…" Her voice was trembling now and faded, the midnight blue of her eyes blurred as tears filled them and the first drops rolled down her cheeks.
I couldn't help but catch some of the tears with my free hand. Unable to say anything as a mixture of grief, guilt and fear were choking me I crawled closer and embraced her. In the first moment she tried to resist but gave in all to readily and pressed herself against me, her head buried between my shoulder and throat. "This is even worse than expected, how do I deal with a 97-year-old teen Asari with a huge crush on me? And is there more to it from my side or do I just suppress it like everything else?" I held her close for several minutes, this time feeling more comfortable with the physical contact.
Her sobbing ebbed and ceased eventually, her grip loosened and she made eye contact again. "Gray?" Her voice was thin now, barely a whisper. "I'm sorry, I'm doing the one thing I know I shouldn't do, I put pressure on you and that's gonna drive you away and…"
Gently I put a finger on her lips. "Shhh, don't blame yourself for doing the one thing I constantly deny myself, you can't suppress your feelings and emotions, at least not forever." I took a breath. "The only thing I need asking from you is to have patience. I won't promise you anything right now, but I also won't deny that I let you come much closer than anyone else in the last years. I've got a lot of creepy stuff in my backpack and I won't advise you to try and sort it out, but it seems you gonna take a shot anyway."
"Your damn right 'bout that." She replied gentle but firm. "And I'm relieved you're not pushing me away at all, as anticipated."
With a wry smile I responded "If not for my past you'd have a hard time to keep me away from you, but as things are this' gonna be a tough fight with an unpredictable outcome."
"I'm willing to take my chances on that." Keeping her eyes locked to mine she slowly closed the distance between us, I felt her warm breath on my skin and finally our lips touched for a split-second before she withdrew. Although I felt the nearly irresistible desire to touch those lips again, the sensation released a flush of vivid memories, leaving them raging in my mind, nagging at my sanity. Seeing me trembling Serena wrapped her arms around me this time, holding me silently until the trembling ebbed and ceased, eventually concluding into an uneasy sleep.