The Man Who Knew Too Little

ch 5: Jokers

Lucifer sulked in the Panic Room, wishing very desperately that he could simply murder the three hunters upstairs. Well, two of them at least. Killing Sam would be rather counter-productive.

'But I can't possess Sam anymore because that would bring about the Apocalypse. Stupid Apocalypse.' Never mind that he had wanted to bring about the Apocalypse just a few hours ago. Funny how finding that your interests align with your bastard of a Father can change your viewpoint so drastically. He still hated the Winchesters though. He just didn't hate them for the reason the monkeys probably thought.

Lucifer didn't actually despise the Winchester boys when he first saw them. He just pitied them (well, the small part of him that still felt an emotion as stupid as pity did). He pitied them because he knew what it was like, being forced to fight against one dearest brothers to the death. Because Michael was one of his dearest brothers, once upon a time. The fact that their former relationship might have only worsened his insanity when it finally began to set in flitted across his mind, but he pushed it away. He wasn't insane.

But no, he didn't hate the Winchesters for being vessels, or for being humans. He hated them because they escaped. Both of them had gone to Hell as he had, and both of them had been broken. Then they had been freed and, though there were a few cracks, fixed. He had no Castiel to raise him from Perdition, no brother to nurse him back to health, mentally or physically. His brothers had all left him to burn for a small mistake, only noticing him when he forced them to pay attention. Then Castiel swallowed Purgatory, and everyone forgave him within the hour! Even Gabriel, who hadn't deigned to so much and try to save him, was working tirelessly to save precious. Little. Castiel.

Yes, Lucifer hated all of them with every fiber of his being. Including (especially) his brothers, and he fully intended to murder all of them as soon as the Almighty Asshole was dead. Lucifer ignored the little voice in his head that told him no, he didn't hate anyone, he was just trying to avoid taking responsibility for his actions. It had whispered to him many times in the Cage, but it had always left as soon as it realized he wasn't listening, made meeker by the atrocities he committed in favor of paying attention. Now though, there was nothing to scare it away. It only got louder every time he tried to tell it off, clawing its way to the front of his mind. Lucifer bit his lip and held back a sob as the reprimanding voice suddenly morphed into a permeating guilt. I deserve it. This is all my fault. I should just go back. Nonononono. it isn't true. It isn't...The Morningstar couldn't remember what he was thinking, only that he hurt, that it hurt and it was all his fault and why was he crying? He wasn't supposed to cry, but it wouldn't stop.

The fallen angel wrapped his arms around his knees and buried his face in them. He still had just enough pride left to not make any noise.

Gabriel sighed and slammed the thick tome he was reading shut. He wanted to help Castiel, he wouldn't let anyone say otherwise, but he couldn't stop his mind from wandering to his other brothers, the archangels. They made a rather interesting little quartet of siblings: two daddy's boys, a mentally fractured family favorite and him. Gabriel had long ago come to accept that when he was the most sane member of a family, that family needed a therapist. Not that they would ever find a therapist that didn't run screaming at the sight of them.

Gabriel looked toward the door that led toward the Panic Room. He needed to clarify some things with Lucifer. The two of them hadn't spoken at all since before the common era, and what communication they had had since their meeting had only confused things even more. Not that meeting before that would have made much of a difference anyway, as he probably would have just told Lucifer to fall back into the literal Pit that he had crawled out of. He didn't want to associate with the violent misanthrope; he liked humans too much to enable someone who wanted to purposely destroy them. Now, though, he was beginning to wonder if he might have been wrong in labeling his older brother a hater of man, considering the way that Lucifer had spoken when they met. He didn't understand, though, and he had a feeling he wouldn't until he spoke to The Morningstar personally.

Gabriel stared at the door for a few more minutes before coming to a decision. The former Messenger of God stood up and slipped out of the library, eyes shifting back to ensure no one had noticed his exit.

Gabriel hated coconut flavored lollipops with a passion. Which meant it probably wasn't a coincidence that, upon his resurrection, the vile confections were the only things in his pockets. It was probably even less of a coincidence that he had woken up next to Lucifer. Obviously, someone was angry with him.

Gabriel scowled at the figure lying in the soft grass. His brother's face was fully healed and, for once, peaceful. He looked too much like the angel that he once was, and Gabriel had to look away. The Trickster stared resolutely at a tree (it was a rather nice brown, with thin, pointy leaves that looked almost like needles but weren't. Tricky tree. Definitely worth staring at more instead of looking at the man who killed him) until a sudden scream forced him to look back at The Morningstar.

Lucifer writhed in the earth, his skin bubbling with heat, his fingers digging into his scalp so deeply they drew blood. Gabriel pushed down a rush of sympathy for Lucifer as he realized this must have been what it was like in the Cage. He kneeled at the other angel's side, grabbing his shoulder a little more harshly than was strictly necessary and pouring some of his (surprisingly) still-pure grace into the devil.

The effect was immediate. Lucifer stilled, his hands loosening their grip on his skull and the burns disappearing from his face. The fallen angel groaned, squeezing his eyes shut tightly for a moment before opening them. For a moment, he appeared calm, but that calm disappeared as soon as he realized who was looking down at him. He snarled and struggled with Gabriel, a wild madness in his too-bright eyes. Gabriel held firm, extremely glad his brother was still weak, though he couldn't help but worry about how pale the older angel was.

Finally, the Morningstar stopped resisting, instead holding completely still and glaring at The Trickster with a look that could demolish buildings.

"Gabriel."

"Lucifer."

"God resurrected you." There was no question about that, the only people with enough power to resurrect archangels were God and Death (who had no business with them and wouldn't go through the trouble of destroying the natural order of things just because).

"I guess so. But why did he bring you back?" Lucifer scoffed.

"Fuck if I know," the fallen angel grimaced suddenly, taking a shaky breath, "Slimy bastard's probably up to something."

"Probably." There was an awkward pause.

"Probably coming up with some convoluted and needlessly violent scheme to destroy the world," Lucifer said, and when Gabriel raised an eyebrow, he continued. "Oh come on, I told you three about what God was doing. What I was doing. And when the time came you left me to burn!" Lucifer screamed the last word, jerking upward and forcing Gabriel off of him. The fallen archangel jumped on his brother and wrapped his hands around his younger sibling's neck. He leaned in close, his breathing quickening as he continued in a venomous tone, "I told you all God was evil. I told you what I was planning. You suggested I use humanity as a cover. Then, then you all condemned me to Hell for following your plan!" Gabriel blinked, confused. He tried to remember Lucifer telling him something like that, but failed. It made sense, however, as he knew God was a bastard, and he couldn't remember his almost impossibly sweet older brother even disliking specific people, much less an entire species, while they were in Heaven. Gabriel knew said brother probably wouldn't accept him denying knowledge of their supposed alliance, so instead The Trickster attempted to play along.

"I'm sorry," Gabriel rasped, suddenly glad for his skills in art of lying. And for the fact that hands around his throat made his voice sound much rougher than normal, "I'm so sorry Luce."

He must have sounded particularly regretful, because Lucifer let go of him. The two angels then became very conscious of the fact that Lucifer was straddling Gabriel, and of exactly how close their faces were to each other. Lucifer quickly got off of Gabriel, sitting down a few feet away and glaring spitefully at his younger brother. They stayed this way until Gabriel decided it would be safe to go fishing for information again.

"What I don't understand is, if God is so evil and you hate Him so much, why are you following His Apocalypse?" Lucifer blinked, looking surprised.

"I...I was angry. I just wanted it all to end. I sat in the cage for so long that...well I guess I just stopped caring who was pulling the strings anymore."

"Now now, little Morningstar, apathy breeds sin." The two angels turned toward the voice, answering it simultaneously.

"Castiel?" The overcoat-wearing figure in front of them laughed coldly, causing Gabriel to shiver.

"Come, my children, don't tell me your senses have been so dulled by my absence that you cannot recognize me."

Gabriel furrowed his brow. The energy emanating from Castiel's vessel most certainly did not come from the Angel of Thursday, but it was familiar. It was darker, colder than he remembered it, but Gabriel recognized his Father's energy and realized that Lucifer was right. This was God, and he most certainly was very, very bad.

God took a step forward, his head tilted to the side and a cruel smile on his face. Gabriel didn't know what the deity intended to do, but he didn't care to find out. Grabbing his brother's left arm, the Messenger teleported the two of them away.

They landed in Bobby Singer's scrapyard, Lucifer collapsing to his knees from exhaustion. Gabriel waited for Lucifer to recover enough to ask why they had gone there in particular. He didn't have to wait long.

"Why are we in the Winchesters' yard?"

"Technically we aren't. We're in Bobby Singer's yard. The Winchesters just live here," Lucifer looked like he wanted to destroy something. Gabriel sighed in mock defeat, "Fine. I'll tell you. God's back, right? And He's possessing the Winchesters' BFF Castiel, right? Well, we want God gone. They probably want our little brother back, a goal which I for one share. This means we all have similar interests, and we're going to need allies if we're going to survive murdering the Creator of the Universe. Whatever you might think about the Winchesters, they're good at surviving."

Lucifer frowned, but nodded in defeat. Gabriel reached into his pocket, making a disappointed sound as he remembered his coconut-filled predicament. Lucifer stared at his younger brother, an innocently amused expression on his face Gabriel hadn't seen in years, then reached into a pocket of his own and retrieved a sucker. Gabriel looked over his brother, forgetting that they were angry with each other for just a moment, and smiled.

"I missed you, Lucy."

Gabriel began descending the stairs to the Panic Room, careful not to make any unnecessary noises. It wouldn't do to alert Lucifer to his intentions before he got to the basement. The other angel would probably overreact to someone loudly crashing down stairs toward his jail cell.

As he walked downwards, The Trickster tried to figure out precisely what Lucifer had meant when he had stated that they had an alliance. It didn't make any sense. The last time he had spoken to Lucifer, the older angel hadn't…he couldn't actually remember. He spoke with all four of the archangels about something…but it was all fogged up. The angel stopped walking, attempting to recall what it was his brother had spoken to them about. When he tried to think about it though, it felt like he was hitting a wall, his thoughts redirected to another memory. He pushed, refusing to budge from the memory, and after a few seconds, the wall broke.

It felt like his head was exploding. Gabriel clutched his head, biting his lip as his vision began to darken. The angel briefly felt a falling sensation, but then he didn't think about it at all, because he was somewhere else.

"What?" Gabriel's eyes flicked boredly in Michael's direction. The Messenger yawned. Whatever Lucifer had whispered into Michael's ear had most likely been shocking, but Gabriel couldn't really think of anything to justify how much drama Michael had put into that one word. Castiel had probably almost stepped on a fish again.

"Trust me, Michael. I heard him. He was speaking of it with Joshua."

"What are you talking about, Lucifer?" Raphael interrupted as he came into view. The second-youngest archangel looked mildly concerned.

"God. He. I was near the Garden and I heard him. He was speaking with Joshua and…what he said. He…"

"Tell us, Lucifer," Michael commanded, looking sterner than Gabriel had seen him. The younger angel sat up, suddenly interested.

"God…He is not as all-powerful as we thought," Raphael looked like he wanted to object, but Michael stopped him with a raised hand, a concerned look on his face, "He is a being more powerful than all of us combined, but he isn't omnipotent. And what power He does have is running low. It has been since He created humanity."

"What? God can't be running low on power! We have to help Him!" Everyone gave Raphael a look, silencing him.

"He…has a plan. And He does need our help. But not how you think," Lucifer took a deep breath, "He intends to take over one of us and…absorb our powers."

"Just us? That's a small price to pay for God."

"No…not just us. All the angels and…several humans as well. Two cities. Sodom and Gomorrah. But those are not until later when," Lucifer looked vaguely sick, "There are more inside the walls to kill."

"That's ridiculous, Lucifer, God would never do something like that. He would find another way." Raphael looked like he wanted to commit physical violence against his brother for suggesting such a thing, but he quickly pushed down the rage.

"You don't understand. The way He talked about us, it was like we were all pieces on a game board. We don't exist for any purpose other than amuse him, Raphael! Amuse him and then die, shattered into millions of little pieces after he tosses us aside. And he…"

"What?"

"He caught me, listening. He dragged me into the Garden and He showed me a taste, just a taste, of what He plans to do to all of us. He…he…" Lucifer choked back a sob, and Michael put a hand on his shoulder, "I can't even say all of the things that he did to me. And then He said 'It's too bad you came so early, little Lucifer. I could have finished. But for now, I still need you in your place,' and then He put a finger to my head and I forgot. I tried to remember, but I just couldn't. I went back to my duties, unaware of what had occurred," Tears flowed down Lucifer's face as Michael's arms circled his shoulder. Michael looked at a loss, uncomfortable with the fact that he didn't know how to help, "But then, I was speaking with Uriel, and he mentioned a city called Sodom and…and I remembered. As soon as I recovered, I came here, to tell you what I learned. Please. I'm telling the truth, believe me."

"It's alright Lucifer. It's alright. We trust you, it's just…" Michael trailed off.

"This is God you're talking about. The Father of everything." Gabriel spoke up for the first time, standing up.

"I know, Gabriel. It's true, though. Trust me."

Raphael stalked forward and put his hands on either side of Lucifer's head without warning. Raphael's face remained stony for a moment before his expression twisted into one of confusion, then surprise and betrayal. He let go.

"He's telling the truth. God is…" The four angels stood in silence, Michael still embracing Lucifer, Raphael near them, and Gabriel standing apart from the group. The youngest archangel regained his voice fastest, voicing the thought that was on all of their minds.

"We have to do something. We have to stop him."

"Stop God," Raphael looked like he was about to cry, "How?

"We'd have to…kill Him." Michael said, hesitantly.

"Kill Him? Can we even do that?" Gabriel asked.

"You heard Lucifer, He's getting weaker. The four of us, if we had help, could surely destroy Him."

"But…kill God?" Raphael asked, "Kill father?"

"We have to, Raphael. We have to kill Him, or He will kill all of our brothers."

"I…" Raphael trailed off, then nodded, looking reluctantly accepting.

"How will we do it?" Lucifer asked, curiously.

"We need to gather people to our cause." Michael said firmly.

"But who would believe us? Not all angels can read minds like me, and none of them would take our word that God is…evil." Raphael still looked unhappy with the situation, but he appeared to be recovering.

"We'll need a proxy. A false cause that will draw angels to our side. It needs to be something that's controversial." Michael stroked his chin thoughtfully. Gabriel thought for a moment, before an idea suddenly popped into his mind.

"Humans," His three brothers looked at him as though he were insane, so he clarified, "I can tell you at least thirty angels, high ranking ones, who think that the humans are a mistake. We could convince them that God's gone senile or something, that he needs to be removed from power. We don't need to tell them that we're going to…kill him. They can be a distraction, make sure that no one stops us, and we can figure out which ones would be willing to help us."

"That…could work. We can't all be a part of the rebellion though, God would notice. Maybe…one of us could actively rebel and the others could pretend to be good little angels until the time comes. Then we could strike him down when he least expects it." Michael, for having been so dedicated to God just minutes before, was now fully immersed in the plan. It appeared that his role as Protector of angels was more powerful than whatever loyalty he had to his Father. The oldest angel stepped back from Lucifer, his face considerate.

"Who, though?" Lucifer asked. Michael paused.

"It has to be you, Luce," Lucifer opened his mouth to say something, but Michael stopped him by saying, "Look, Lucifer, God already doesn't trust you. If one of us were to betray him, then he would still suspect you. Besides, who else could it be? Raphael and I are too loyal, and I don't think anyone would believe Gabriel if he were to propose revolution," Gabriel put on an expression of mock hurt, "Oh come on, Gabe, you know they'd just think you were taking a joke too far."

"You're right…I just…what if it fails? He would cast me down, or worse, and then I'd be alone. I don't think that I could stand being alone." Michael shifted so that he was placing a comforting hand on his younger brother's shoulder, then looked into his eyes seriously.

"Lucifer, listen to me. No matter what happens, I promise you this: You'll never be alone. If this all goes wrong, we will save you." Lucifer nodded reluctantly. Michael gave him one last smile and turned to the other two archangels, going through strategies for the coming war as though he had been planning it for years.

Gabriel groaned as he opened his eyes, wondering why his spine ached so much. After blinking groggily until his vision returned, the angel realized he was lying at the bottom of a set of stairs. The stairs he had been near the top of just moments ago. The Trickster sat up, confused as to what had happened. Then, the memory he had just recovered rose up into his mind with a vengeance, and Gabriel had to force back tears. Gabriel had met with Michael and Raphael the next day to solidify plans, but they hadn't been alone. God had been waiting for them at their meeting place, a false smile on His face.

He had greeted them amiably, asking them what they were doing. They had each come up with a carefully prepared response, but God seemed to see through them all. He had reached forward, putting a hand on Michael and Raphael's shoulders, and said something about how obedient they were. After His hands were removed, the two angels stood still for several moments, eyes hazy and mouths curved up into euphoric smiles. Before Gabriel had had a chance to ask what was wrong, God had turned to him and grabbed his arm, His grin turning vicious as He did so.

The memory of the last day began to fade from his mind, and eventually he found his face relaxing into an expression similar to his brothers'. When Lucifer rebelled, the three of them had assumed he was genuinely malicious and when the time came Michael, the same angel who had promised him he would never be alone, had cast him into Hell. Gabriel had left Heaven, a strange bitterness he couldn't name in his Grace and a feeling of wrongness he couldn't explain in the pit of his stomach.

The Messenger stood, breaking into a run toward Lucifer's cell.

A strange keening sound forced Gabriel to slow down as he reached the Panic Room. He stopped at the door, putting his hand on the heavy steel door and cursing the anti-angel wards.

"Luce?"

"Gabe?" The voice was weak, and Gabriel knew Lucifer must have been out of it if he was willingly using his old nickname for The Trickster.

"What's wrong?"

"I…" The voice trailed off for a long time, and Gabriel began to worry that The Morningstar might have lost consciousness, but then he spoke again, even weaker than before, "The voice. It's telling me I'm bad and it's right and it hurts."

"Whose voice is it?" God's? Was the Almighty torturing His son even in Panic Room? Gabriel's questioning was cut off by Lucifer letting out one choked sob.

"Mine."

A/N So, yeah. This chapter and Club's Chapter were supposed to be together, but then this Chapter was over 3,800 words….so that didn't happen.