Chapter Seventeen.

I don't own Neopets. Tamara and all them are mine.

The Clinic
Chapter Seventeen

The next morning presented yet another depressive mood for me. Though, the sunlight streaming through my crocheted curtains should have provided some form of joy. It took me only a few minutes to realize that I was no longer at school.

Kayla was no longer my neighbor.

Kara was no longer my roommate.

Thor would not be at the school come Fall.

Bella would be hard-pressed to forgive me (and vice versa) when the time came.

I wouldn't receive hugs from Randi or Cam. Or have Alison invite me along to do something with her.

I was already missing that. Certainly, I still had Fangore to keep me company. We could share memories. But, we also shared a family.

I finally got up—after spending a few minutes laying on my back, thinking about this past year—dressed slowly, and went out to fix breakfast. I poured Fangore a bowl of Lupe kibble and cooked myself some bacon and eggs—cooked in bacon grease—and poured myself a glass of orange juice. Mom had already left for the clinic (she told me last night that I didn't have to work today) and Codax ran off to wherever Codax goes. So, I had the house to myself. Not that I minded. Especially now. I could gather my thoughts without interruptions. And—if I got lonely—I had only a pasture to cross to reach Mam's house.

I leaned back in my chair with crossed arms and stared at an orange puddle I had dribbled on the table. A thought occurring to me. Mam and Pap hadn't seen me since the week before school started. Back then, I was a scrawny, little thing; unsure of myself. Fangore was hardly able to support me. Mam would be so happy to see that I was a whole new person and Pap would enjoy how strong Fangore had gotten since he last saw my faithful neo.

"Fang?" I said, looking down at my Lupe.

"Yes, Mistress?" Fangore replied.

"How would you feel about visiting Mam and Pap?" I asked.

Fangore got up, stretched, and yawned. "I would enjoy that very much."

I smiled. "Just give me a while. I need to clean up. Then, we can go."

Fangore sat back on his haunches and watched me shuffle around; clearing the table and cleaning the breakfast materials. I grabbed a jacket and slipped the harness onto Fangore. Attaching the lead and locking the door behind us, we headed back to Mam's house.

Mam was pleased to see me. Her leathery face lit up as I steped through the door with Fangore at my hip. Her strength never ceased to amaze me as she drew me into a hard embrace. Mam was also a little shorter than me so my chin rested easily on her frail shoulder.

"Tamara! It's good to see you my dear granddaughter!" Mam said, her pale lips brushed my cheeks. She was the only one who could call me Tamara and get away with it.

I gently squeezed my grandmother in a hug which made her groan then chuckle.

"Look at you! That Academy did you good!" Mam said, squeezing my arms and smiling; her brown eyes twinkling.

I remembered when I announced that I was going to the Academy. Mam was scared that it would be like local school days all over again. After my dad left and Mam and Pap took over caring for me and Codax while Mom worked; I used to come home everyday until grade six from school with tears down my face. Tears because someone had said or did something to hurt me.

"Come here. Sit down. Do you want something?" Mam led me to a chair and got me to sit down just as she always did when I came home from school. She acted like the mom I never had. Or just like a grandma who cared.

"Ahh!" I said, indecisively. "You still got some of that Mamaw's Famous Cocoa?"

Mam bustled back to the stove and began heating milk over an open flame and mixing sugar and cocoa powder together in a clay cup. All the while, talking to me. "So, how was school?"

I told her everything. Everything, that is, except for my depression and the two, near-suicides. No need to freak out my poor, grandmother at the thought of her only granddaughter being suicidal.

Mam poured the warm milk over the mixture and added a dribble of vanilla extract. After mixing it all together, she set the cup down before me. "I'm glad you found such good friends, Tamara." Mam said, patting me on the head.

"Yeah. Yeah, they're all great people." I said. But, Mam took in in a way I hadn't meant it to be taken.

"What's wrong, hunny?"

I shrugged. "I just miss them."

Mam gave a sigh of relief and sat down at my elbow. "What are your friends' names?"

I listed them all; ticking their names—and the names of their neopets—of my fingers. When I came to Maya and China, I flinched. Mam touched me on the arm.

"Wait here." She said. She left the table and hurried into her living room. I heard her muttering to herself and rustling about in old newspapers. She returned with a newspaper marked with a dreaded date.

The day after Maya's death.

Mam riffled through the obituaries until she found what she was looking for: Maya's life's story. "Is this your friend?" Mam asked.

I nodded but said I didn't want to talk about her. Mam pressed me to at least give the good stuff about Maya. I reluctantly gave in.

"Well, how do you describe your best friend?" I chuckled, dryly. My eyes looking at the black and white sketch of Maya with China sitting in her lap. "She was kind, friendly, loyal, patient, tolerant, and all-around good person. She died so that I could live. I would give anything to see her again." I ducked my head so that Mam couldn't see the tears that were starting to fall.

Mam's work-worn hand touched my smaller hand. "She sounded just like the kind of person you needed in your life." She tilted my chin so that we were looking eye to eye. "You must of loved her."

"She was more like a sister than a friend." I said.

"Ah. A sister figure." Mam said. "She probably made a better sibling than Codax ever did."

I jumped when I heard Mam talk about her grandson like that. But smiled at the fiery attitude the old woman presented. Now I know where my disposition came from.

"All of my friends were either a brother or sister to me. But, the twins—Maya and Alison—were closer. They treated me like one of their own sisters." I gave her an embarrassed smile. "Her mom unofficially adopted me."

"Are you going back next year?" Mam asked, quickly changing the subject.

"I have to." I said, sipping at my cocoa—it was just as good and sweet as I remembered. I licked my lips; savoring the taste before continuing. "Or else my training will be for nothing."

Mam's warm, leathering hand cupped my cheek, tenderly. "Well, you just finish your training."

I smiled and held Mam's palm to my face. "Thanks Mam." I said.

I spent the remainder of the afternoon, puttering around Mam's house; helping with chores or anything that Mam wanted me to do. Then, we sat on the couch and completed a puzzle. Fangore lay on the couch between us; stretched out with his head on Mam's lap. My grandmother stroked Fangore's head; admiring the glossy sheen on his blood-colored coat.

"Fangore's a good Lupe, isn't he, Tamara?" Mam asked.

I nodded, patting my Lupe's hindquarters with a delicate hand. "Oh yeah. He was a good boy before I got him." I said. I described training methods that I did with him, and how he played with the other neopets, and ever the competition that I placed sixth in. I knew that Mam would have been more pleased if I had placed in the top three, but she took pleasure in knowing that I had placed at all.

When evening rolled around, I said good-bye to Mam and Pap and headed won the driveway, through the pasture towards home. Mom was already there, fixing supper when Fangore and I walked in. I grimaced when I realized that I hadn't left a note. I quickly apologized, hugging Mom to imply that I really was sorry.

After supper, Codax washed dishes and I sat in my room, reorganizing my stuff from school. Then, I reached under my bed and rolled out the tub of clothes I hardly ever used; withdrawing my clinical uniform that I would be forced to wear tomorrow. A small, white, button up shirt with my full first name stitched over the pocket of the left breast. White trousers—which, surprisingly, still fit—and crocks. I draped these over my desk chair for easy access in the morning.

I don't remember falling asleep. But the fact that Mom had awaken me by making the door fly open with a bang against the wall was evidence enough. Next to the fact that I was still wearing yesterday's clothes. Obviously, I had been more tired that I originally thought.

"Come on, Tam. Time to go to work! Get up." Mom greeted me. There was barely any daylight streaming through my curtains.

I stretched, groaning with pleasure as every bone in my back cracked into place.

"Breakfast is on the table for you." Mom said, shutting the door to give me some privacy.

I tumbled off my bed and lay on the burgundy carpet. Not knowing how long I slept should have left me well rested. Instead, I was very much exhausted. I deduced that I had slept too long.

I dressed quickly, harnessed Fangore, and went out to breakfast. Mom frowned when she saw the harness.

"Fangore can come but he has to sit behind the welcome desk." Mom ordered.

"I understand, Mom." I said. Fangore whimpered but nodded. "We under-stand."

Mom gave us a brief smile. "It's not that I don't approve of him, Tam, it's just that he'll get underfoot."

"I know." I said. "Fangore will behave himself." I promised.

Needless to say, Fangore did behave himself. He lay in an unoccupied corner behind the receptionist counter. At first, Kama—who was my first and only friend outside the school—was reluctant about letting Fangore lay back where she was sitting. I assured Kama that Fangore was harmless and probably wouldn't do much more than sleep. Kama, finally undid the sliding lock and let him in.

I quickly scribbled a note telling people that Fangore was not for sale but enjoyed nothing more than to be petted.

The day wasn't quite as busy. I managed to play catch-up with Kama before walking down to the dairy stand to get lunch. When Kama and I came back, Mom told me to help her in the emergency room. A yellow Ixi had come in with a fractured pastern. We worked hard to reset the fracture.

"What do you think, Mom?" I asked. "I mean, she's a fighting neo. Do you think she'll be able to fight again?"

"I don't think so, Tam." Mom said, shaking her head. "At least, not up to her usual specifications." She sighed. "What am I going to tell the master?"