Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.

A/N: I am just loving the Dilu scenes as of late. The writers need to continue pushing them together. I can see Professor Perv taking Georgie out of the picture very soon. I'm just glad Lulu's not going to be the one that sleeps with him. Not that I know whether Georgie will or not, but I have a feeling that is where the writers are headed.

To Choose Life

Chapter 5

A month and a half passed and I was officially four months pregnant. If you looked at me from the right angle or if my clothes were tight, you could see the bump of my baby growing inside of me. My morning sickness had mostly subsided and I could, instead, focus on not fitting any of my clothes.

Dillon and I politely avoided each another. When we did talk, our conversation was limited to the baby. Between staying with Nikolas and Carly, we didn't see much of one another. I was glad to not have to live with the Quartermaines. I think it bothered Dillon and I know it bothered Edward, being a precious Quartermaine heir.

Lucky had started rehab after an incident where he'd almost shot his wife. It was really hard to see my brother hit rock bottom. He had always been my hero growing up and for once I'd seen him break. However, with Nikolas' help I was able to understand and stay positive for Lucky's sake.

Though, the hardest thing of all is that my mother woke up. My father gave her drugs and she awoke. Although I'm extremely excited about having her back, I'm cautious. I am terrified that I will lose her again, and I know, on top of this pregnancy, I just can't handle the loss. So I've been hiding it from her. I wear baggy shirts around her and just avoid her questions about my life. I don't want to be the one that pushes her back into her catatonic state and I worry that her disappointment in me would be the catalyst.

Today, however, was the day of my first sonogram and secretly I was excited about seeing my baby for the first time. I entered Kelly's and found Dillon at one of the tables with Georgie. I cautiously approached. "Lulu, is everything all right?" Dillon asked with concern.

"I just wanted to let you know that I have a sonogram today, if you wanted to come."

"Yeah, I'll be there. What time?"

I subconsciously laid my hand across my swelling abdomen. "4:00."

"I'll meet you there," he said gently.

"Do you want to sit down?" Georgie asked.

No, I don't want to sit and watch you flirt with Dillon, I felt like screaming. "I have somewhere to be," I lied, needing to escape the grief I still felt at losing Dillon.

I turned and left, picking up the pace of my steps with each second. Once outside, I brushed away the tears that were beginning to fill my eyes. "Lulu," Dillon's voice whispered behind me.

I spun around to face him. "Yeah?" I asked gently, hoping he wouldn't notice that I was moments away from bursting into tears.

"What is going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've avoided me for over a month. You look really stressed and upset. I'm worried about you."

A month before and this would have sent me into a rage, but I'm too tired to be angry with him anymore. I just want someone to understand how I feel. "I'm fine," I lied. "I've just been worried about the baby."

"Is everything okay?" he asked, panic stricken.

"Yes. I've just had a lot on my mind and I didn't want to get in the way of you and Georgie reconciling."

"We're having a baby together. I don't want you to feel like you have to avoid me."

I gave him a small forced smile and hoped he wouldn't notice that I was using it to mask my tears. Dillon cocked his head to the side and I knew he caught me. "What's going on? Please talk to me."

"I can't," I said, as I finally broke down into tears. "I promised my father that I wouldn't say anything."

"Anything about what? Lulu what is going on?"

"It's nothing you need to worry about."

"Bullshit. You are crying Lulu. Tell me what is going on."

"You want to know? My mother woke up…"

"Lulu that is amazing. That's a miracle."

"Yeah, except, I have to tiptoe around her. I can't even tell her that I'm pregnant, in case she slips away again."

Dillon dropped his gaze and I recognized his pity. "I'm sorry Lulu, but you'll be able to tell her with time."

"My mother is going to hate me," I sobbed.

"No, she's not," Dillon offered. "Your mother could never hate you. You guys finally have a chance, after all that life has thrown at you. She will be proud of you, for owning this and taking responsibility..."

"Responsibility of what? Lying? Deception? Sleeping with a married man, after I broke up his marriage? Or how about getting pregnant with said man's child? Or how about almost killing that child because I didn't want to face what I'd done? The only thing I've done so far, is give our child a chance to live and I know, I'm going to be a horrible mother."

I had at some point during our conversation sunk to the ground and it took several minutes to realize that Dillon was holding me. "Lulu," he said firmly. "You need to relax. All of this stress is not good for the baby. You are not going to be a horrible mother. If you are unsure, your mother is back to make you sure. What happened last summer, happened. It's over and we're all living with the consequences. It doesn't define you. You needed someone to be there for you and you did it the only way you knew how. Yes, it caused problems and yes it ended in the conception of a child, but I don't hold it against you, so please let it go. It's over. I don't hate you for it. You shouldn't hate yourself for it. In 5 months, when we hold our child for the first time, we're going to be looking back thankful that it happened. Please can we move past it?"

I clutched onto him as I sobbed, finally releasing the pain I'd been holding in for way too long. I cried for my mother and the last four years that she lost. I cried for my father and all of the times he abandoned me and made me feel worthless. I cried for feeling so alone that I felt it necessary to end the marriage of my best friend. I cried for Lucky and all of the pain he endured during his addiction. I cried for Elizabeth, trying to imagine what it was like to hide her pregnancy in fear. I cried for Nikolas, imagining what it was like when his son was born and the mother had died.

Finally I calmed down and let go of my death grip on Dillon's T - shirt. "I'm sorry," I said, embarrassed at breaking down in front of him.

"It's okay to cry Lulu. I won't tell anyone."

I smiled at him. "Thank you for listening."

"I told you, I plan to be here for you," he said, as he helped me stand up.

"Please, don't tell anyone what I told you."

"Nobody has to know," he promised.

I waved and walked away. For the first time since I was told that my mother had woken up, I was calm. Maybe everything didn't have to be so bad after all.

XXXXX

I was surprised at how fast my day slid by. It was 4:00 before I knew it. I followed Dr. Lee's instructions and laid back on the table. She spread the cold gel across my swollen stomach and then pressed the wand against it. It had hurt a lot to realize Dillon hadn't come. My fears became reality, this child and I were on our own.

Suddenly the door opened. "I'm so sorry that I'm late," Dillon interrupted.

"You're just in time," Dr. Lee said.

"Hang on. I couldn't let you go through this alone, Lulu," Dillon said gently.

"Thanks for coming," I said genuinely.

"I brought someone with me," he explained. My mind instantly flashed to Georgie and I opened my mouth to scream at him, until his guest entered the room.

"Mom?"

"Lulu why didn't you tell me?" she asked softly. "Honey, I want to be here for you during this."

"I didn't want to upset you."

"This doesn't upset me. You're going to have a baby. Sure I'm shocked but I'm excited for you too. This is wonderful Lulu. I'm so proud of you," she said, as she leaned down and hugged me tightly. I couldn't contain my tears.

"Here's the head," Dr. Lee interrupted.

The three of us leaned forward and looked at the little baby that was growing inside of me. My mother squeezed my hand and I squeezed hers back. I had waited the last four years to hear her say that she was proud of me.

Dillon reached out and took my other hand. "It's our baby," he whispered. I turned my face to his and our gaze met. For a moment we just looked at one another and then he leaned in and kissed me. I responded immediately and deepened the kiss.

Suddenly he pulled away. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Me too," I responded, averting my gaze so that he wouldn't see the pain flash through my eyes.

He reached out and touched my face, pulling my gaze back to his. "I shouldn't have done that," he confessed.

"I won't tell Georgie," I whispered, and turned my attention to my mother who was looking at us with both concern and curiousity. I hoped she wouldn't have too many questions, because I had a feeling, I wouldn't be able to answer most of them.