Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital.

To Choose Life

Chapter 8

I arrived at Grandma Lesley's, in search of my mother. I opened the door and witnessed for the first time in four years, my mother and father kissing one another. My heart literally dropped in my chest. This is what I'd waited for.

"Lulu," my mother said with a smile.

"Hi…" I said awkwardly. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No honey, not at all. Your father and I are getting remarried."

I heard the words but for some reason I needed a minute before I responded. I regained my composure and smiled. "Really?"

"Yes," my father said excitedly. "Isn't that wonderful?"

"Of course it is," I said, trying to be as excited as him. "When?"

"The 16th…"

"The 16th of November?"

"Yes, it's our 25th wedding anniversary…" my mother said dreamily.

"That's wonderful," I said, coming further into the room. I looked at my father and wondered what the hell he was doing about Tracy.

"Will you be my maid of honour?" my mother asked, her voice laced with joy.

"Yes, of course I will be," I said, smiling at the thought. My mother pulled me into an embrace and I felt myself transfer back to four years before when my mother was excitedly getting ready to remarry my father. I remembered never expecting my mother to leave me and feeling content with the life I was a part of. "The 16th is kind of soon. Are you sure you can pull it off?"

"I believe we can," my mother said honestly. "With your help I hope?"

"I'm at your service. I'm sure you can enlist the help of Lucky and Nikolas as well."

"Do you mind letting them know Lulu?"

"I'll go do that now," I said.

I turned to leave and heard my father following me. I turned to him as the front door closed behind us. "What about Tracy? Did you forget about her, your wife?"

"I'll deal with Tracy, just don't tell your mother about her. She doesn't need to know."

"Well maybe you ought to tell everyone in town, because it is bound to slip out."

"Tracy and I will be getting a divorce."

"Tracy Quartermaine is not a force to be trifled with. Are you sure you know what you're getting into?"

"I tricked Tracy into marrying me, didn't I? I can handle her Lulu. Don't worry about it."

I shook my head in disbelief. "I've got to go," I said gently.

"Are you sure you're all right?"

"I'm fine. I'm just really tired."

My father looked at me, his eyes scanning mine for the truth. "You don't look fine."

"I'm fine," I promised.

"Lulu, I know this has been really hard for you."

"I've got to go," I said, trying to escape him.

My father nodded and I moved away from him. He would never understand my fears. Then I realized maybe he was the only one that could.

"What if I become her?"

My question left my father off guard. "Become who?"

"Mom… What if I lose my mind and go crazy and leave my baby behind?"

"You're not going to go crazy Lulu. It isn't genetic. Your mother faced a lot in her life and finally reached a breaking point. People can only survive so many hits before they break. Anyone can break down, but you are a Spencer and you're stronger than most people. You're not going to break down."

"Carly did."

"Carly's children were kidnapped. That's a lot for anyone to face. I don't think you will ever have to face what either your mother or Carly have faced in their life time."

"I'm scared…" I admitted.

My father pulled me into an embrace. "I know Gumdrop, but I believe in you. You can do this, all of it. You can be strong and you can give this child as much love as it deserves."

"I've got to go," I said again.

"You're going to be okay Lulu. You're not your mother."

I smiled at him. "Thanks Dad."

He smiled back and watched me walk away. I opened my cell phone and dialed Nikolas' cell. He picked up on the second ring.

"Hello…"

"Hey Nik, can you meet me at Shady Brook?"

"Yeah, is everything okay?"

"I have an announcement."

"I'll meet you there."

XXXXX

I arrived in the garden of the asylum and sat down on the bench. "Lulu?" Lucky's voice said gently. "What's up?"

"Wait for Nikolas," I said with a smile.

"It's not bad news?" he asked with concern.

"No, not at all…" I said gently. I stood up and let my brother wrap his arms around me. He looked different this time. His complexion had more colour again and his face wasn't drenched in sweat like before. I realized his withdrawl symptoms were waning.

"Hey what's going on?" Nikolas said as he approached us.

"Mom and Dad are getting remarried on the 16th," I said delicately.

"What?" Nikolas exclaimed. "What about Tracy?"

"Dad said he'd take care of her."

"Are you sure?" Lucky asked, with disbelief resonating in his tone.

"Positive. Mom asked me to tell the two of you because she wants help preparing," I offered.

"Does it seem like Luke is hiding something?" Nikolas asked.

"I don't know. Isn't Dad always hiding something?" I responded.

"I'm sure he has an agenda but he loves Mom and he wouldn't hurt her…" Lucky agreed.

"All right, well if you guys trust him I guess I don't really have a reason not to," Nikolas said with a sigh. "Where is Mom?"

"Grandma Lesley's…"

"Well why don't we head over there and see if we can help?" Nikolas said to me.

"Yeah, okay that sounds good," I agreed.

"Lulu, can I talk to Nikolas alone for a minute?" Lucky asked.

I nodded and walked a few feet away.

Nikolas met up with me a few minutes later and we climbed in the car. "Is everything okay with Lucky?" I asked with concern.

"Yeah, he's fine. He's just worried about Elizabeth."

"Well she should be worried about him."

"She is. They both worry about each other, but they went through a lot this summer."

"She still hasn't visited him?"

"No," Nikolas said in response.

"It might help his recovery."

"Maybe, but he needs to recover for himself, not for a possible relationship with Elizabeth."

"I know. I just worry about him."

"He's doing better."

"He looked better."

"I'm sure his withdrawl symptoms are getting better."

I nodded and gave Nikolas a small smile. "How are you feeling? You've had a lot thrown at you lately."

"I'm good. I'm just really happy to have Mom back, you know?" I said in response.

"Of course. I know you've been dreaming of this. However, you have a lot more going on than that."

"The baby is fine. Nothing to complain about."

"I'm glad to hear it."

He stopped the car and we climbed out. I followed my brother up the front steps and inside the door. "Hello," Nikolas called.

"Hello…" my grandmother called back.

"Hey, where is Mom?" I asked, as Grandma Lesley came in the room.

"She was getting ready to go out. We were going to get her dress. I'll get her…" she offered.

"That's okay. I'll go," I offered, before making my way up the steps. I encountered my mother's room and knocked on the door. When no one answered, I pushed the door open and realized my mother was not there.

I went back downstairs, confused. "She's not up there."

"Are you sure? She said she was going to get ready."

"She isn't up there."

"Laura," Grandma Lesley called, as she made her way around the house.

"Mom…" Nikolas shouted.

When she didn't answer, I began to panic. "Where would she have gone?" I asked; fear laced in my tone.

"I don't know. We were supposed to be leaving in a few minutes. She would have mentioned something to me," Grandma Lesley said nervously.

"Was she acting strange, at all?" Nikolas asked frantically.

"Well now that you mention it. She seemed a little detached. I thought it was just the effects of everything going on around her."

"What if she remembered?" Nikolas exclaimed.

"Maybe we should call Dad," I said. I didn't know what else to say. I didn't feel capable of dealing with my mother.

"You call him. I'm going over to the Scorpio attic. I'll see if she is there."

"Maybe Luke should go," Grandma Lesley said softly. "We won't know what condition she is in."

I opened my cell phone and called my father. "Yeah…" he said tersely on the other end.

"Dad, Mom's disappeared. We are afraid that she remembered."

"Remembered the murder?"

"Yeah, Nikolas was going to go to the Scorpio attic."

"I'll go. Don't worry, I'll find your mother."

I hung up the phone and collapsed onto the sofa. I suddenly felt like bursting into tears but I wanted to hold strong. I didn't want my brother or grandmother worrying about me, when they were already worried about Mom.

Nikolas sat down beside me and wrapped his arm around me. "Luke will find her. It's going to be okay," he offered.

I leaned into him and tried to draw comfort from his strength but I felt the burning sensation in the corners of my eyes. I couldn't do this, not here, not now. I pulled away and ran. I didn't stop until I reached the one place that had changed my entire life. I ripped open the door of the boathouse and much to my chagrin, found Dillon and Georgie making out.

"I'm sorry," I exclaimed, I started to back up as the tears cascaded down my face.

"Lulu," Dillon said gently.

"I'm sorry. I'm going…" I kept backing up and then turned to run, but Dillon's hand grabbed my arm. He spun me around so that I had to face him.

"What's going on?"

"My mother…" I choked out.

"What's wrong with your mother?" he asked with concern.

"I… I… I think that she remembered…" I sobbed.

"Remembered what Lulu?" Dillon asked, as he led me into the boathouse and sat me down on the bench. "What's going on?"

"Killing her stepfather."

I watched Dillon's face change as he realized what I was talking about. He kneeled down in front of me. "Do you think she's going to leave again?"

I nodded and felt him pull me against him. I buried my face in his chest, as I sobbed. "I can't lose her Dillon."

"She might be okay Lulu… This might not send her back."

"What if it does Dillon? What if she goes right back to Shady Brook?"

"You don't know anything yet," Dillon offered weakly. "You need to calm down for the baby." I let his solid body comfort me until I finally stopped crying. I pulled away and realized for the first time that Georgie had left.

"I'm sorry," I said softly. "I don't mean to come between you and Georgie."

"You're not. She just left to give us a moment alone. She knows I can't turn my back on you right now."

"I can't do this Dillon. I can't keep letting you comfort me. I have to do this on my own."

"No you don't," he argued. "You don't always have to be on your own. I care about you and I care about our child."

"You also care about Georgie and I don't think she's going to want me to always come in between the two of you. Some day the two of you will have children and then this child and I will be on our own. We both know its true Dillon."

"It's not. I won't abandon you or this child, ever. We will always stay connected, regardless of how many children Georgie and I have in the future. I know you're used to being left behind Lulu, but I'm not the type of person that can do that."

"I don't know how to believe that," I said sullenly.

Dillon reached over and pulled my chin to face him. His eyes met mine and I saw the hurt my words had caused. "I promise you, I will never leave you. I swear on everything that matters to me, this child and you will always be important to me. No matter what. Please trust me."

I stared into his eyes and remembered why I loved him so much. As much as it hurt that I could not have him, at least I could believe that I was safe in giving him a child. "All right, I trust you."

He smiled and I smiled in return. "Want to see a movie? I found a new one that I think you'll appreciate."

"Go back to Georgie. I'll be fine."

"Come on. It will be fun. You need to do something fun."

My cell phone started ringing. "Yeah…"

Nikolas was on the other end. He said that Dad had found Mom and wanted everyone to meet at Grandma Lesley's. They had something to discuss.

I closed my phone and my gaze met Dillon's. "I have to go. My father found my mother and now we have something to discuss," I said, suddenly feeling absolutely hollow. My whole body shivered, as I imagined going back to life without my mother.

"I'll give you a ride," Dillon said gently.

"You don't have…"

"Lulu, I'm giving you a ride."

I smiled and didn't argue any further. Dillon opened the door and we met Georgie sitting by the water. "Hey I have to give Lulu a ride to Lesley's. Do you want to come?"

"No go ahead," she said delicately.

"Georgie can I talk to you?" I asked suddenly. Her gaze met mine with confusion before she nodded and followed me away from Dillon.

"I'm sorry…" I started. "I am not trying to take Dillon from you. I honestly didn't know you guys were going to be here. I'm sorry that he kissed me the other day. I didn't mean for that to happen. I honestly just want to get through this pregnancy and…"

"Lulu, I understand. You have a lot going on and I know that you and Dillon are close. I accept that. I know that I sometimes come across as being a bitch but…"

"No, you don't. You have been nothing but supportive through this entire ordeal. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that…"

"Lulu, you have a lot to deal with. There is no reason for me to make it any worse."

"I don't want you to feel excluded though."

"I don't." Georgie gave me a forced smile.

"I've got to get back. I would like it if you came for the ride."

"Lulu, you don't have to include me."

"I want to," I offered. She nodded and followed me up to Dillon's car.

"Everything okay?" Dillon asked, as he climbed into the driver's seat.

"Yeah, everything is fine," Georgie said, as she climbed into the back.

"You can sit in the front," I offered.

"I'm not the one pregnant," she said. I climbed into the front seat and tried not to laugh at how awkward Dillon seemed to feel.

"You know I heard that PCU is getting a new computer lab," Dillon said, to end the hollow silence that had filled the car.

"Really, a new computer lab. That's nice," I said with a smirk.

"So what have you been up to with your time?" Dillon asked.

"I've actually been doing work for Carly."

"Oh really, doing what?" Georgie asked from the back seat.

"Desk clerk duty… She has me help her decorate for parties… Whatever needs to be done."

"That's cool."

I thanked God when Dillon pulled up in front of my Grandmothers. "Thanks for the ride," I said awkwardly.

Dillon climbed out of the car and followed me towards the house. "Lulu, if this doesn't turn out the way you want it to and you need someone to talk to. I'm here okay?"

I smiled and nodded. "Thanks Dillon," I said, as I reached for the door handle. Lucky was sitting on the couch with Nikolas.

"So what's going on?" I asked.

"I don't know, Mom and Dad haven't arrived yet," Lucky said gently.

Suddenly the door opened behind me and my mother and father came inside. "I remembered everything…" my mother exclaimed proudly. "and I'm fine. I spoke with Dr. Winters and she thinks my recovery is very promising."

"That's wonderful," Nikolas said joyfully.

"So you're going to be okay?" I asked, suddenly overcome with emotion.

"I'm fine," my mother said gently, wrapping her arms around me as I broke down in tears. Everything was going to be okay.