Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with General Hospital. I did borrow some dialogue from the show which was created by the actual writers who write for the show and not me.

A/N: Well Spinelli has suddenly taken a liking to Lulu. It's cute, but I hope he doesn't come between her and Dillon. Great, I knew that line the other day was a hint. "Film Guy is not your destiny." Umm, sorry Spinelli, but yes Film Guy is her destiny. I will believe nothing less. I'm a little disappointed b/c I absolutely love the friendship b/w Spinelli and Lulu and I don't want that to be tainted by romance.

To Choose Life

Chapter 12

Our dancing came to an end when the interim DA, Ric Lansing, arrived and made an attempt to arrest Sonny. Then Elizabeth collapsed and we all watched with concern. Carly was screaming at Ric, but my mind was still with my parents. I hoped they were having a good time.

As the drama began to die down, Dillon led me out of the room. "You don't need to be subjected to that," he said gently.

"It's just a lot of yelling Dillon."

"This is still your parents wedding night. You deserve to be having fun."

I smiled at him. "I am having fun. This is the best day of my life," I admitted, and was rewarded with one of his smiles.

"That is exactly what you deserve," he said, as he pushed a stray strand of my hair behind my ear.

Once most of the guests had disappeared, Dillon took me back into the room where Elizabeth and Lucky were sitting. "Are you okay?" I asked; concern evident in my tone.

"I'm fine," she said softly.

I sat down and lifted my feet from my shoes and placed them in Dillon's lap. He took the hint and started massaging my swelling feet.

Nikolas and Emily arrived in the room. "Mom just called…"

"On her wedding night?" I asked.

"Yeah she wants me, you and Lucky to meet her at the house," he explained.

"I can't leave…" Lucky started, motioning at Elizabeth.

"I'm fine," she told him. "You need to go. Your mother needs you."

"Why do they want to see us?" I asked, as I begrudgingly pulled my feet from Dillon's hands.

"She didn't say, but she wants to see us now."

I nodded, and slid my feet back into my shoes, before standing up and following Lucky and Nikolas out of the room.

XXXXX

We arrived at the house and stared at the building. "Do you think something is wrong?" I asked, slightly panicked.

"I'm sure it's nothing," Lucky offered, but his tone was as nervous as mine.

The three of us went up the walk and pushed open the door. My parents were sitting on the couch. "What's going on?" Nikolas asked.

"Before we get into anything, I want to thank all of you, for making this such a memorable day. You have no idea what it means to your father and me to look out there and see all of you kids supporting us like that."

"Did you enjoy the carriage ride?" Nikolas asked gently.

"Oh yes," she exclaimed. My father agreed with her. She told us about how they danced in the gazebo. It all sounded so perfect.

"So umm, why did you want to see us?" I asked, slightly confused.

"I didn't," she said, shaking her head. "Did I? Did I make something up in my head?" Her eyes went to my father's.

"No. No, I'm sorry. This is my fault. I misunderstood. I didn't check when the message came in. I mean obviously it was an old one. We should go," Nikolas said, motioning at Lucky and I to follow.

"As much as we love seeing all of you, get out of here," my father ordered in a cheerful tone.

We made our way to the door, before my mother shouted, "Don't go." We all turned around, suddenly very confused. "Sit down."

We did as we were told. It was in that moment that I recognized that something was not right. In fact something was very wrong. I placed my hand against my abdomen, as fear coursed through my veins.

"Mom, what's going on?" Lucky asked; his voice laced with concern.

"I have been having some memory lapses and losing time. I… I am so profoundly grateful to have had these last few weeks here with you. I really am and I wouldn't give that back. Not for anything but unfortunately…"

"No, I don't want to hear this," I exclaimed, feeling my trachea constrict. I felt like I was being asphyxiated as I raced toward the door.

"Lulu sit down and let your mother have her say," my father ordered.

"No, I won't," I said, as I slammed the door. I dropped into a chair and started to sob.

"Lulu," my father said gently, as he sat down beside me on the porch.

"It's not true. Mom can take more of the drug."

"It wouldn't keep her with us."

"You're not surprised. Which means that…" I struggled over my words. "Have you known that it was going to end up like this, all along? When did the doctor's tell you Mom's recovery was only temporary?" I demanded, pressing my hand against my stomach.

"I knew before they gave her the medicine."

"How could you keep that a secret?" I felt sick as I ran past him and went to run upstairs.

"Lulu, stop. Don't blame your father," my mother ordered.

I started to feel pain everywhere. I felt so sick, that I suddenly just became overwhelmed with rage. "Aren't you angry? You had a right to know what was happening to you… Just like we did."

"We all know now," she said soothingly.

"But Dad's known all along…"

"Lulu, keeping this secret was one of the hardest things your father ever had to do and it's also one of the most heroic."

"Why is that, because he led you to believe you were here to stay when you weren't?"

"Take it easy Lulu," Lucky tried to comfort me.

"No," I sobbed, my voice breaking along with my world.

"All right. Listen to me. Listen to me. What if we knew from the start that I was only going to be here for a short time? What would that have been like?"

"It would have made a huge difference."

"Yes, I agree. It would have cast a shadow on every single day; on every moment that we had together. You know? All of those joyous moments, like the first time I saw you as a grown woman. Or the first time you hugged me. Or when you gave me the beautiful wedding present. Or the first time I saw Spencer. Or when you told me Elizabeth was expecting. Or when Dillon told me that you were expecting. All of those moments would have been moments of sadness, instead of joy because we would have been focused on what we had to lose instead of what we had to celebrate.

"Please, don't be angry with your father. Try to appreciate the sacrifice that he made so that we could be a family again, even if it was only for a short time…" she said, as she broke down and reached out for me. She held me as we both came to terms with the unbearable news.

"Can we all move on?" my father asked. I could hear the exhaustion in his voice. My mother pulled away from me, even though I didn't want to let go.

"Mom how long do you have left?" Nikolas asked. "Do the doctor's have any idea?"

"I don't think it's very long."

We all took a moment to sit down, so that we could discuss what we should do next.

"I've known for a while that something was wrong," she explained. "I was hoping that maybe it was the residual effects of the medication and that I was still moving forward, but I'm not. I'm sure that you must have noticed."

"I haven't," I exclaimed.

"There were a couple of glitches before the wedding, but I thought it was nerves," Nikolas confirmed.

"And you couldn't remember why you called us here," Lucky agreed.

"But she did remember, so she's okay," I said, desperately trying to rationalize everything in my mind so that I could confirm that I wasn't going to lose her.

"The memory lapses are happening more often," my mother continued. "I'm getting worse and I know in my heart that I have to leave soon."

"Don't say that," I begged, pleading with God, in my head, to not take my mother away again.

"There is one thing that I want you all to understand. Luke had very, very difficult decisions to make right from the very start, but he did exactly what I would have wanted him to do. He brought us all together and he gave us as many perfect days as we could possibly have as a family," my mother said, before bursting into tears. "I would have risked anything to have had that time with you, even if I knew the truth from the very start."

I started to cry again. "You can't leave Mom. I can't lose you again," I sobbed. "I can't do this pregnancy without you." She wrapped me in her arms.

"Yes you can. You are strong. I have faith in you. I know you're going to hold this child for the first time and love it with every bit of your heart. However, I understand if, when it is born, you still feel like you're not ready and decide to give it up for adoption."

My whole world felt like it had been pulled out from under me. My world was shattering, this time worse than it had ever been. I couldn't raise this child without my mother. I needed her.

She held me for a few moments longer and then slowly pulled away. "Come on now, I don't want to waste any more time dwelling on what we're going to lose. I want to treasure moments like these. You know? Look at us, we're all here together, gathered in the living room and we're all getting along. How many families get that?" she asked, forcing herself to laugh to try and cheer us up. I was beyond being cheered up.

"You were always so good at that," Lucky started. "No matter where we were or how fast we had to disappear, you'd find a way to look at the bright side."

"We had some pretty incredible years on the road. Didn't we? Depending on each other… Thinking on our feet…"

"You brought me up in the family that I want to have," Lucky continued.

"And you will. I know you will," my mother told him. "Now listen, all of you are going to survive this because you're very strong and because you have each other. I want to talk to you a little bit about what it's going to be like after I'm gone."

"Sweetheart, we have plenty of time to deal with that," my father interrupted.

"Luke. I don't want you to worry about anything that happened over these last few weeks, okay? I don't want you to feel guilty about anything you said, or anything you didn't say. I just… I want you to know that when I do leave, I don't want you to think that I'm suffering because I'm not. I can't remember anything about those last four years. It's as if time didn't even exist for me. So when I do slip away, I just want you to know that I'm resting and that I'm at peace. Okay? And don't tie yourself to me."

"You don't want us to come see you?" I asked gently, as I fought the tears from spilling down my cheeks.

"If it makes you feel better, then yes, fine, but don't come to see me out of some sense of obligation or guilt. Cause I don't want that. I want you all to go on and I want you to live your lives to the fullest. I want you to be good to each other. I want you to be a family. That's the best way to show me that you love me."

"Mom, tell us what you need right now. What can we give you right now, that would make you smile?" Nikolas asked.

"Memories," she whispered.

We discussed moments we remembered from our childhood. I reminisced about my seventh birthday party. It felt good to remember such a happy time. I told my mother how back then I thought she would always be around. She nodded and told me she remembered. She reached out for my hand and stroked my face. I realized these simple things would be what I missed the most.

We pulled out some old photo albums and looked at all of the pictures we had of growing up. We reminisced about our dog and Dad told a joke about trying to kill him. Nikolas told my mother about Lucky and Elizabeth getting married at Wyndemere. We talked about the Haunted Star.

Suddenly we noticed my mother was staring off into space. "Laura," my father called. My brothers agreed that she should rest, when suddenly she said, "I want this to be the best Christmas ever."

"I know how much you love Christmas, Sweetheart. We've got to get through Turkey Day first," my father insisted.

"I know, it's just that, I'm not going to be here for the real one so, it's Christmas in my heart," she said before running from the room. My father ran after her.

I started to cry while we waited. Nikolas grabbed my arm and pulled me into an embrace. He held me as I sobbed into his shoulder. Lucky stared out the window. My heart was shattering. Everything that had made me happy only hours before was clouded over with an oppressive darkness. I was going to lose the one thing I wanted most in this world and that was my mother. Nothing could relieve this pain that was taking over my body. I was falling apart and there was nothing I could do to stop it.