Wow. So it's been a week.

*sobs* I'M SORRY!

Title: Cops 'n' Fangirls

Pairings: USUK…and ElisabetaxYaoi, obviously…

Rating: T

Genre(s): Romance, Humor, Angst

Dedications: tintenstern, TheNinjaWangsta, Little Patch of Heaven, ShowGirl999, Lovely Hikari, MataHari-Chan, Chibirisu, and AlchemicKeyblader. And everyone who fav'd or alerted, of course.

Inspiration: Cliches. God, without them, this wouldn't even exist…I'M SORRY.

Warnings: Smokin' and drinkin' and Elisabeta~

Summary: Arthur's caught breaking the law again, this time by a yaoi fangirl. She lets him off, but with a catch: a repeat of the scene he made two months ago.

Disclaimer: I don't own Window Bird, I don't own my own mind, do you really think I own Hetalia?

Begin~

Arthur gulped when the person he was looking for came into view. How had he gotten roped into this again? Oh yeah…that chick with the weird name that sounded like Elizabeth had done this…

He'd taken some rum from his father's liquor cabinet and headed out to smoke with some people he'd met at school. When none of them even bothered to show up, he smoked and drank alone. It wasn't like he was going to pass up a full pack and a bottle…

Unfortunately, while he was still on his first cigarette and only halfway through the rum, a police car randomly showed up. A little voice inside him was desperately screaming that he had to run away, but the slightly muted hope that it might be his officer, Alfred F. Jones, completely drowned that out.

Unluckily, it was a woman with long brown hair and eyes just a touch darker than Arthur's own. She looked vaguely familiar, and he was obviously familiar to her, as she gasped in delight at the sight of his indifferent teenage face.

"Oh my…you're that boy! The one that kissed Alfred!" she exclaimed gleefully, and Arthur groaned. Of all the people to catch him, it was the one witness to what he'd done 2 months ago after being released from jail.

"So?" He shrugged. "Why does it matter?"

She smirked. "Oh, well, as I just caught you smoking and drinking when you're underage and on school grounds and have the power to let you off with a warning, I thought you might care." She sighed dramatically. "But if you want to be arrested again, I suppose I could oblige…"

"Hmph. What is it you want?" he asked nonchalantly. The woman's grin grew large and creepy, and he could feel a fine sheen of sweat on the back of his neck. This lady…she was scary.

Then, she started to cackle. What. The. Hell. "Oh, it's simple, really~ I just need you to repeat the scene from two months ago, and let me photograph it. Easy, no?" she asked slyly.

"I…why?" he asked.

She sighed dreamily to herself. "Oh, if only all beautiful yaoi moments could be caught on tape…yours was especially wonderful to watch, but unfortunately, I couldn't get my camera out in time…it was a real shame." She wiped an imaginary tear from her eye, then clasped her hands together and took a few steps toward the teenager leaned against the wall. Her eyes were bit and pleading. "That's why I need you to do it again! The others wouldn't believe me when I told them, but with photographic evidence, I could—"

"So wait, let me get this straight," said Arthur, interrupting the crazy woman mid-rant, "you want to photograph me making out with a man I haven't seen for two months and barely know anyway…just for shits and giggles?"

The woman blushed. "W-Well, yes, that's the gist of it."

Arthur stared at her blankly. "…Fine."

"What?" she asked disbelievingly. "You'll…really do it?"

Arthur nodded. "But you'd better compensate me with more than just letting me off for this!"

She giggled happily. "Within reason, I'll get you whatever you want."

What Arthur really wanted was a one-way ticket back to England and his mother, but instead he replied, "I want…a pet rabbit. And make it vicious."

She nodded. "It'll be a pleasure to work with you, Mr.…."

"Arthur Kirkland."

"Elisabeta Hedervary."

After that, Elisabeta arranged for him to meet up with Alfred in the park at four o'clock the next Saturday. All he had to do was show up, and then…that other thing.

That police officer lady was sick. A park? Really? Her excuse was that it wasn't like they could just go back to the police station for no reason. It was a rather poor excuse…

Arthur gulped as Alfred walked around the corner. Oh, damn. This was just…

"Arthur?" The boy jumped at the sound of his name. Alfred smiled and came over. "I haven't seen you in awhile."

"H-Hello there," said Arthur, looking away. God, this was going to be horrible…he just hoped Elisabeta wouldn't post the photos she was about to take on the internet…

"Elisabeta told me to come here to meet someone and that it was super important," said Alfred. "But why would she do that…?" As realization dawned upon him, he gave Arthur an odd look. "Wait, is this for her photo collection…?"

"Yes," sighed Arthur.

Alfred ran his hand through his hair. "Oh boy…"

"I wonder what she'll do to me if I don't…" Arthur mused, remembering again the reason he was here in the first place. "Threaten to tell my father? Like I'd care…"

"How did she get you to do this, anyway?" asked Alfred. He sat down on the bench, and Arthur sat next to him.

"She caught me smoking and drinking behind the school. She said she'd arrest me if I didn't do this."

Alfred frowned at him. "Smoking and drinking? Really?"

Arthur nodded.

"Jesus…vandalism, and now this? What's wrong with you?"

Arthur decided he wasn't like how this conversation was going, as it was starting to feel like his ride to the police station .Which meant that soon, Elisabeta would have to have her camera ready…

"I mean, taking out your teenage angst in these ways is bad. Like I said, you need to find a healthier output for all—mmph!"

Arthur had finally decided to get it over with in a very cliché way, as you might have been able to tell.

"Wonderful!" squealed someone in the bushes and across the path. Elisabeta hopped out, holding her camera. Arthur pulled himself away from Alfred. "That was great!"

"Yeah, whatever," muttered Arthur, wiping his mouth off repeatedly. "Where's my rabbit?"

"In my car. Come on, I'll take you home." Then walked off to Elisabeta's car, leaving Alfred to stare after Arthur once again.

EXTENDED ENDING

"Oh, and by the way, I took the liberty of naming her for you. Her name is Minty."

"…Whatever."

AN: I'm craving orange juice. Anyone else?

So, I SHOULD be doing my Japanese homework and reading 2001: A Space Odyssey right now, but instead I'm doing my homework and reading PPC! So. You can see how my grades are going to do tomorrow…

In other news, Kittens on Parade!

This was requested by Lovely Hikari. Ah, and I would like to ask something….

Please, don't request sequels. These are called oneshots for a reason. If you've already requested one, I'll write it, but no more after this. Okay? Thank you.

The next request up will be for .. I have to go check and see what it is now…

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed~