The silence is just deafening...
Dude, what did I do? Did I say something, or imply something? I didn't mean to, I swear.
It's been days...
Yeah, I was a little off my game; kinda not myself. I'm sorry I can't be the happiest guy on earth a hundred percent of the time, but even I can get a little upset. An argument takes two.
You text Mattie like it's nothing...
How can you be so chipper and okay talking to my brother, but you won't even text me? We used to talk every night like clockwork, and now it's been four days, with no word from you. You're obviously not too busy, if you can text Matt whenever.
Do you still love me?
Are we growing apart? I thought that wouldn't happen... Do I want that to happen? You've caused me so many problems, the majority emotional, and sometimes I wish I had a break. But now I see that's not what I want. I just want to make you the happiest I possibly can and I want to be able to talk and laugh like we used to.
I'm too afraid to text you first...
What if I say something stupid, like I usually do? I don't need you any more upset at me. I'm sick with the distance that's between us right now, but I'm too afraid to do anything about it, 'cause I don't wanna make it worse. We're at an impasse.
Will you ever try again?
Sometime next month, when it's been so long that I'm already getting used to just not getting a response, will you text me? If you do, you'll probably be in a good mood, happy to talk to me. But why, and how can you explain your silence? Don't try to pass this off onto me, you know you always text me first. It's a thing. Solid. We've had that established for months.
I can't help but wonder...
Was it that last little argument we had? It wasn't even really that bad! We apologized and made up the very next day! Yeah, I was acting a little weird, but I was tired! It happens! To be honest, I was just too...well, I didn't have the pride to admit to you again that I was tired, that I couldn't keep up with staying up late and trying desperately to get stuff done that should've been done days ago.
I'm sorry for being the way I am, somehow...
But don't you - or didn't you - love me that way? I thought we were tight. I'm kind of annoying, and I jump to conclusions. Sometimes I cause ridiculous drama, but you do it, too! You do the same stuff I do, so why can you judge me for it? Is there a problem with me? For you, I'd change.
To me, you're perfect...
You have your flaws, so many I can't list them all, but I have more. And every imperfection makes you who you are and I love you so much it hurts. You can't get any better to me. I just want you to be happy - and I'd love to be the one who makes you smile.
Come on, please...
You've always been here for me, except now! Well, and that one time... But that really didn't last too long anyway, so I barely count it. How can you just cut off communication with me, without warning? One night, we were okay, and now...nothing.
You know it hurts, don't you?
My chest hurts, nearly all the time, but it's worst when I'm thinking about you. My head starts to hurt whenever I try yet again to ask myself why and come up with a half-decent answer. I just don't understand.
If there's anything I can do...
Can anyone but you tell me what's wrong? 'Cause if you don't wanna talk to me, I'll ask them! I just need to know. Maybe I can help! Just give me anything, and I'll do anything to make it better!
Lately, things have been so different...
I've noticed it. And I realize that things are so difficult for you, and I'd do literally anything to ease your pain. I've spent hours, up into the early hours of the morning, trying to help, but I know that I don't do much. It's all I can do to keep you happy for a few hours. Things are hard for both of us - family, personal issues, school, stress, just normal life crap. But come on, I can help! I love you, and we can do this! We can work through it, I know we can! We're stronger than this, man!
Please tell me that it's not my fault...
I hate myself for all the times I've hurt you, and yelled at you. Every word I've ever said with any mean kinda tone, I regret, I swear. I could say I'm sorry a thousand times and mean it more every single time, but I know for a fact that it wouldn't help. We're just not like that. We've never been like that. "I'm sorry" is for short-term arguments. It's for when we're just too tired to talk, too frustrated to see eye-to-eye for a while. What did I do this time! Are you testing me? Is this a test, to see how long I'll wait for you? 'Cause the answer is forever. Are you trying to see if I'll be desperate enough without your company to cave and text you first?
Am I just being stupid...?
Should I give up waiting for you, suck up my pride, and text you first? You know you always text me first... You always have the first words, and I usually have the last. I never want to say goodbye to you, even if I'll talk to you the next day, and I try to make you see that.
I just...I don't know, anymore...
Is this even worth it? I love you. I've told you a million times, and I mean it, I do! But my heart hurts. I ache, all over, from missing you, or crying for you, or with you, and I'm just not sure if I can handle this. Am I sane enough myself to handle the insanity? You know I've never been great when it comes to the reasonable thinking kind of thing. Do you still love me? I still love you... But where are you? Where the hell did you go? Are you hiding?
Help me to understand...
Just talk to me, Artie. I love you, and that's all you need to know. I swear, I'm okay. But are you? Are you okay? I want to help, if you're not, and I want to talk either way. My heart is breaking, and you're the only one who can possibly repair it. Please, please, just talk to me...