A/N: Significant changes made to introduction and ending made in January 2012.
It's the first real day of spring – and, for once, I wake up practically euphoric.
Mum no longer has cancer.
She called last night, straight from the doctor's office. I've never felt so grateful in my life.
My father apparently felt the same. He told mum I could stay in San Francisco for the entire summer. Of course, he still doesn't know about Berkeley. But I don't care. I'll take what I can get.
I throw on a shirt and jeans and run down to the common area.
"Hey," I say, greeting everyone.
"You're late," Rashmi says. "Again."
"We'll still be on time, Rash," Mer says.
Rashmi rolls her eyes. "Where were you, anyway?" she asks. "You look really happy. Unnaturally happy."
"My mum called last night," I say. "She's in remission."
"Get out!" Anna screams, leaping up to give me a hug.
"That's awesome," Josh says.
"I knew it would work out!" Meredith says. She gets up to hug me as well, forcing Anna to break away from me and return to her chair.
"Sorry, I just assumed – ," Rash says, still seated.
"It's all right," I say. "I know I haven't been as reliable as I used to be. But I promise, all that will change…starting today."
Everyone breaks into polite golf claps. Anna stares intently at her mobile.
"Well, this calls for a celebration," Josh says. "Let's watch Meredith kick some ass at soccer and get crepes after."
"It'll be my treat," I say.
We arrive at the indoor field and find a place to sit all together. I suddenly feel a sense of adventure – of mischief, really – that I haven't felt in a long time.
"You know," I say, turning to Anna. "I really can't stand football."
"And you call yourself an Englishman!"
"When it suits me," I say, smirking.
"You're too much, sometimes," she says. "You know that, Étienne?"
"Well, I just think we should be outside," I say, nudging against her shoulder. "It hasn't been this nice out in ages. Is that so wrong?"
"But we promised Mer," she protests. "You know how much this means to her."
"Fine," I say. "Fifteen minutes. We'll go to the park and come back before the match's end. She'll never know we left."
She looks at me questioningly.
"I'll even set my alarm," I say, pulling out my mobile.
"Fine," she says. "As long as you let me set it."
Anna sets the alarm while Meredith and her teammates come out onto the field. The game begins, but mind wanders to the park I plan on showing Anna. It's Jardin du Luxembourg, the most famous in Paris. I know she'll love it, and there'll be plenty to show her, but all I can think about are the hidden areas, the parts where I, where we –
At fifteen minutes, we silently leave the seating area. My mobile flashes with a new message alert once we're outside. It's from Josh.
-Where do you think you're going?
-Jardin du Luxembourg. Anna's never been.
-Behave yourself.
-Thanks, Mer.
-You're terrible.
"Who's that?" Anna asks.
"Josh," I say. "He's jealous we got out."
"Oh," she says distractedly. "So what park are we going to?"
"This one," I say, turning the corner and leading her through one of the entrance gates. "Jardin du Luxembourg."
Her face lights up. "How did I not know about this place before?" she squeals.
"It's the best park in Paris," I say.
"I bet it's the best park in the world," she says dreamily, her eyes still wide in amazement.
She pulls out her camera for everything I show her – the orchard, the numerous fountains, the perfectly-manicured shrubbery. It's cute to see her in tourist mode again.
We find a spot to rest along the Grand Bassin, the park's centrepiece. We lay down next to each other in a comfortable silence, our gaze fixed on the vibrant blue sky.
Before too long, my mobile alarm vibrates in my trouser pocket.
"Anna?" I say, turning to her. "Anna, we have to go."
She's fallen asleep. I can't wake her now, can I? I feel calm, happy. I start to drift off to sleep, until I catch an odd shape approaching us from the corner of my eye.
I sit myself up to find a toy sailboat approaching. It's zooming so fast, there's no time to catch it.
"Anna!" I say. "Anna, wake up!"
"Hmmm?"
"There's a sailboat in your hair."
"What?"
"A sailboat," I say. "In your hair."
She tries to get up but snaps right back down.
"Help!" she says. I struggle to untangle her hair as a young boy, the boat's presumable captain, approaches and tries to take it out of the bassin himself.
"Ouch!" Anna screams.
"Arrête-toi," I say to the boy. "Tu peux pas toucher les cheveux d'une jeune femme comme ça. C'est pas gentil."
"Mais j'veux mon bateau…maintenant!," he says.
"Faut que tu t'attends, d'accord?," I say sternly, and he quickly jumps back from the boat. After a few more minutes, I finally get it out of Anna's hair. She looks relieved.
"Bon," I say, handing it back to him. "N'oublie pas d'être plus prudent avec ces bateaux."
"Vous êtes bizarre, Monsieur," he says, running away from the bassin. I can't believe he called me sir. Like I'm one of those elderly gentlemen across the way playing boules.
I turn back to Anna, who's laughing hysterically.
"I didn't realize you were so old."
"Come on," I say, ignoring her. "Let's get out of here."
I stand and offer her my hand to join me. She takes it. It feels so right, so perfect inside my own.
I can't even imagine how late we are now. I just don't care anymore. I'm tired of trying to please everyone. I know now that life can change at any moment. And when it does, I don't want to look back with any more regrets.
I lead Anna to the pink blossom trees, away from the exits. We sit side-by-side on the grass, staring back over the Grand Bassin.
Her hand is still in mine.
I squeeze it tightly, willing her to do something, anything, to confirm what I've hoped for and wanted for so long.
"What are we doing?" I ask.
She doesn't answer, but neither of us is backing down. It's like a game. I feel my head tilt toward hers. I feel her lips brush against mine.
"If you ask me to kiss you," I say. "I will."
I stroke the inside of her wrists. She shivers against my touch.
"Kiss me," she whispers.
We kiss and kiss and it's exactly how I imagined in my mind so many times before. It's only when I feel her moan against my lips that I realize – this is actually happening.
Everything around me…dissolves.
I push her back onto the grass and she smiles up at me, her eyes full of desire. My mind goes into overdrive. All I can feel are her hands, her lips, her legs wrapped tightly around me.
"I want –," I start, but I'm interrupted by the sound of approaching footsteps.
Shite.
I still myself, hoping I have a couple moments to regain my composure for the lawn police. I'll talk us out of it. It'll be fine.
Anna gives me a confused look, but there's no time to explain.
"How could you?" a voice cries.
I turn around and see…Meredith.
Fuck.