Disclaimer: If I owned Fullmetal Alchemist or Harry Potter, several things would not have happened. Harry wouldn't have gone all angsty, and we would have seen a lot more of Izumi. And lots of other things would not have happened that did. Why Fred, why?!

Chapter Eight: Trains and Tribulations

Edward yawned widely, wishing that he had earplugs or something. The noise produced by the trains and hundreds of people in the train station was almost deafening. He leaned over the handle of his luggage cart, glancing at a cardboard box with holes in the side sitting innocently on top of his suitcase. 'How are you doing, Somnel?' he asked concernedly.

'How well do you think I'm doing?' Somnel said grumpily. 'I'm inside a box in an overloud, overpopulated human transportation base. I can't see anything, I think I'm going deaf, and I can barely fit in this angular contraption—you wouldn't believe how uncomfortable it is in here.' Edward imagined that, if he could have seen Somnel's face, the kaivul would have a scowl frightening enough to make lesser men soil themselves.

'I'm sorry, Somnel. I'll let you out as soon as we get onto the platform. Then, when we get on the train, it will be much less noisy. Just bare with me.' Somnel merely grumbled. Looking up, Edward was happy to see the pillar separating platforms 9 and 10 in front of him. Positioning his cart, he steeled himself and ran at the pillar. A strange, cold sensation washed over him and he was through the barrier. Wheeling his cart several feet away from the barrier, he found a small niche in the wall and pulled out his wand. He waved it over the cardboard box, which disappeared. Somnel groaned and uncurled his long body, spreading himself out on Edward's suitcase; it was now the sole piece of luggage in his cart. Picking up the kaivul gingerly, Edward placed him on his shoulders and picked up his suitcase. Leaving his cart by the wall, he waded through the crowd and boarded the Hogwarts Express.

The train was large and crowded, with students milling all around trying to find empty compartments. Many of them gave him strange looks—seeing as he looked appeared to be in his late twenties and had a bright red snake/dragon-like creature draped around his shoulders, it was quite understandable. Finally, Edward managed to find a mostly empty compartment. The only occupant was an unusual looking girl with sun-bleached blond hair. She had large, electric blue eyes that were focused on the pages of an upside down magazine. She wore a necklace made of bottle caps on a long string, and small radishes hung from her earlobes. Her elegant chocolate-colored wand was tucked above her ear. She wore an off-white tank top and a long sky blue skirt under an overlarge black student's robe, with a purple and gold badge pinned to the front.

"May I sit here?" Edward said politely. The girl continued reading for a moment, and just as he was about to ask again she looked up at him.

"Yes…" she said in an airy, dreamy voice. Thanking her, he hefted up his suitcase and secured it in an overhead compartment. He turned and glanced back at her, finding that her large blue eyes were fixated on him. Or Somnel—that was more likely. Edward calmly raised an eyebrow and made a soft sort of humming noise in his throat; he noticed her eyes flicked slightly upwards, probably to focus on his face.

She was silent for several seconds before she slowly asked, "Is that a fuhrsnuk?"

Both Edward and Somnel looked rather confused. "Excuse me, a what?" Edward asked.

"Oh, if you don't know what it is, it isn't one. They always tell people what they are. And I suppose they're not red, either." She sounded slightly disappointed, but vaguely interested.

After quickly asking permission from Somnel, Edward explained, "He's a kaivul. His name is Somnel." Edward extended his left hand. "My name is Edward Elric. May I ask yours?"

She looked at him blankly. "My name is Luna Lovegood," she replied at last. She looked down. "Is there something wrong with your hand?"

"No," he said quickly, withdrawing it. He sat down on the opposite side of the compartment, across from her, and leaned back against the cushioned seat. Luna continued to stare at him for several seconds, and Edward met her eyes evenly. She eventually returned to reading her upside down magazine, and Edward took a small blue book from his jacket pocket. Both read in silence.

After a short while a harried-looking young man with messy black hair and emerald green eyes opened the door. He wore a pair of round wire-rimmed glasses and black robes over a pair of overlarge, worn jeans and a white button-up shirt. In the center of his forehead partly covered by his messy bangs was a thin, lightning-shaped scar. Just behind him carrying an odd cactus-like plant was an award looking boy with red, chubby cheeks and dull brown hair. He wore a long sleeved white shirt and loose black pants; with his chocolate-brown eyes and round face, he looked rather unimpressive.

"Excuse me," said the green-eyed boy somewhat nervously. He sounded a bit out of breath, and his cheeks were slightly red. "Can we sit here? Everywhere else is full." Both Luna and Edward took a moment to tear themselves away from their reading material, and when they did the two boys were met with twin blank stares from some of the most unusual eyes they had ever seen. Luna's eyes were a startling electric blue while Edward's were a captivating gold. Edward nodded slightly, and the boys took this as enough permission to claim their seats; Luna just continued to stare at them vacantly. Both boys heaved their trunks up into the overhead compartments, then claimed seats opposite each other by the window, as far away from the two already-present passengers as they could get. They struck up a rather awkward conversation, feeling the attentive stares of two sets of unique eyes continue to linger on them. They frequently sent indiscreet glances at their fellow passengers, and were unnerved when all they saw were attentive eyes and blank expressions. What was even worse, however, was the red dragon-like creature on the man's shoulders staring at them with golden eyes similar to his human perch. No one seemed to notice the fact that Luna appeared to be mimicking Edward and his partner.

At last (probably having grown bored), Luna looked back at her magazine and Edward followed suit, returning to his small but thick blue book. Somnel also averted his gaze. Unfortunately, the reprieve didn't last very long. Luna looked up from her magazine and asked rather suddenly, "Who are you?" Edward and Somnel looked up as well, seemingly interested in their answer.

The boys seemed quite startled to hear her speak, and stumbled over their words. "I'm Harry Potter," the green-eyed boy, now identified as Harry, said at last. "And this is Neville Longbottom," he added. Both Luna's and Edward's eyes lingered on Harry.

"Are you now?" Luna said, sounding both interesting and not at the same time.

"Um, yes," Harry replied.

"Good," Luna said, for no apparent reason. Edward gave her an odd look, which Somnel mirrored (as best he could with his extremely different facial features). Luna looked back down at her magazine, and silence resumed. Edward and Somnel again focused on the little blue book and left Harry and Neville to simply shift awkwardly in their seats. Neville began to talk to Harry about his "mimbulus mimbletonia", which was apparently the cactus-like potted plant he had sitting on his lap. Silence reined.

Soon a red headed girl with a smattering of freckles and warm brown eyes entered the compartment. Under her student's robes she wore a light blue tank top and slim-fit jeans, and in her hand was a large, battered-looking suitcase.

"Hello," she said cheerfully. "Hey Harry, Neville. How are you doing, Luna?" she asked the only other girl in the compartment, sitting beside her with no hesitation whatsoever after she had stowed her luggage.

"Oh…I'm fine," Luna said dreamily, her eyes fixed upon the red haired girl, who surprisingly didn't seem at all bothered by it. She turned to the only person in the compartment she didn't know, a handsome blond man with gold eyes and a strange red creature draped over his shoulders. He wore a grey button-up shirt and stiff black pants, along with a long dark brown coat and pristine white gloves. He was looking at her mildly, the gold-eyed creature giving her a similar look.

"My name is Ginny Weasley, what's yours?" she said in a friendly manner. Both man and creature paused for a moment.

"I'm Edward Elric," he said smoothly. "This is Somnel," Edward added, nodding his head slightly towards the red kaivul.

"Ah," said Ginny. An awkward silence fell over the compartment, interrupted only by the sound of the train's engine coming to life and the screeching of ancient wheels moving along rails. Covering a small yawn, Edward returned to his book. Ginny started a conversation with Harry and Neville, somehow managing to get Luna to participate in it as well.

Edward continued to read and silently converse with Somnel as the teenagers' conversation grew more fluent and relaxed. They spent about an hour in the same manner, ignoring the beautiful scenery they rushed by that was barely visible through the streaked window. Eventually, however, the peaceful atmosphere was interrupted by the arrival of two Gryffindor prefects.

"Hey Harry," the boy said, his red hair going in all different directions. He was tall and lanky, with ill-fitting clothes and a smattering of freckles. A red prefect's badge was haphazardly pinned to his front.

"Hello Harry," said the girl. She had wavy brown hair, neat clothes, and a gleaming prefects badge on the front of her robes.

"Ron, Hermione," Harry greeted. Neville, Ginny and Luna acknowledged the new arrivals politely. The girl—Hermione—started talking a mile a minute to Harry, something about being sorry she and Ron had had to go in the prefects' compartment for most of the train and that they would have to leave to patrol and make sure no one got in trouble. The red head, Ron, occasionally got in a word or two, but he seemed to be having a tough time finding an lapse in speech so he could interrupt.

Edward and Somnel bore the incessant chatter in silence, until—"Silence, human!" Somnel growled angrily. Hermione instantly closed her mouth with a distinct click of teeth, and all the teenagers looked at Edward and the red kaivul on his shoulders baring its teeth in irritation.

"Did that—did you—it—just speak?" Hermione managed at last, being the first of the Hogwarts students to collect her wits. The echoing, deep voice issuing from Somnel and the strange, awkward mouth movements that accompanied his speech had everyone baffled. Harry, Luna, Ginny, and Neville knew it couldn't have been Edward; his voice was entirely different.

"Yes, of course I did. Who did you think it was, a dust bunny?" Somnel grumbled.

"N-no!" Hermione babbled, not wanting to offend an unknown magical creature. "It was just, your speech was so unnatural and sudden, and everyone else looked so surprised so I assumed if you could've spoken you would have before and then everyone else wouldn't look so shocked—"

"Oh, be quiet. I'm not about to eat you or anything, so sit down and calm yourself. However, if you continue to communicate in such an annoying manner, I'll light a fire in your hair." Somnel seemed like he was about to go on, but his gold-eyed perch cut him off.

"Now, now, Somnel. You don't want to start scaring the students before the term's even started, do you?" He turned to Hermione. "I'm sorry for my partner's ill-manners, but there's not much I can do about it. My name is Edward Elric, and this is Somnel. May I ask your name?" He extended his left hand as he had done earlier when he had met Luna.

Barely visible surprise covered Hermione's face at the charming professor's composure, manners, and handsome face. She reached out her left hand, briefly wondering why he had extended his left instead of his right, and replied, "My name's Hermione Granger, new fifth-year Gryffindor prefect. This here is Ronald Weasely, the other Gryffindor prefect." She released Edward's hand and gestured to Ron, who shifted a bit awkwardly and offered a weak wave. "I assume you are the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Mister Elric?" she added, regaining her usual dignified, intellectual composure.

Edward smiled lightly at her, his eyes deceptively warm. "That is correct, Ms. Granger," he replied suavely. "This year I am the new Hogwarts Defense Against the Darks Arts instructor." He noticed several of the teenagers before him gave him sharp looks, especially Harry. He had heard about Harry Potter, of course. Who hadn't? In the wizarding world, nobody, but he had a different reason for making sure he knew about Harry Potter, the "Boy-Who-Lived". This "boy" was essential if Edward was ever going to return to his home, his friends, and his brother.

Author's Notes:

Okay, I have no excuses. I know I should've been doing author's notes from the start so everyone knows what the hell's going on, and this chapter is so late and why am I not doing daily updates anymore? I don't have the time. Hah. Anyway, this is especially late because I've been on a school trip and has been fussy; it hasn't been letting me put up this next chapter.

When I'm describing people and their outfits, you may notice I make no mention of their shoes. That's because they have no shoes. I stole them. They are walking barefoot all around the train and collecting magical foot fungus as their Herbology summer project. Yeah…

Not a lot of Somnel in this chapter. At least—not a lot of him talking. This is something to note—there is a visible difference between Somnel talking and when he speaks mind-to-mind. I'm actually quite surprised no one has asked about this yet, because I figured I would be explaining this many times to many people. Instead, I'm going to explain it now and refer back to this whenever anyone asks. So. Somnel always communicates in bold type, because that's just how important and awesome he is. When he is using his gift of tongues and speaking aloud, he speaks in bold type and quotes. When anyone speaks mind-to-mind, it's single quotes; he uses bold type and single quotes. Get it?

FAQ: Where is Alphonse?

Answer: Not in the world of Harry Potter. Stop asking, you'll find out eventually. (Probably.)

Frequent Comment: Somnel rocks.

My Response: Yeah, I know. He does. He's a cross between my brother, my beta, and me. There's a lot of me in Somnel. He's also vaguely influenced by various anime/manga characters, but…meh.

Now, people, I want you to feel free to ask questions; I'll do my best to answer them, except if it reveals something from the plot. I won't ask for reviews, because I've noticed that those who ask often don't receive. Review if you want, feel free to flame, and keep on reading.

A tribute to my most beloved reviewer: Thank you very much, Suzuku90!