Been awhile, huh…*glances around and sniffs* I'M SORRY I TOOK SO LONG. Really. I just sort of forgot for awhile, and there were finals, but school's been out for a week or so now and I don't have an excuse anymore. Huh…

Title: Coffee And A Donut

Pairings: USUK is really the only one this time…and it really is this time!

Rating: K+

Genre(s): Humor, Friendship, Romance

Dedications: Anyone who reviewed, fav'd, or alerted, because I'm not going to write them all down anymore…oh, and the requestor, named…um…DancesWithCranes. Found it.

Inspiration: Well, the request…oh, and I suppose this is also sort of another one by DancesWithCranes, who asked for a cliché coffee shop. I hope we all remember that.

Warnings: Fluffiness. To the EXTREME! (I will love you forever if you get that.) Oh, and a crappy summary.

Summary: Alfred just wants a donut! With his coffee, which is a lot less black than black coffee…that poor waiter of his, having to work so hard to get that donut for him.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Buono Tomato Song, I don't own Like A Boss (they say "like a boss" 44 times during that song) by Lonely Island, and I don't own Hetalia. Why would you think I owned any of those things, anyway?

Begin.

"One coffee, please. Black. Oh, but wait, add lotsa milk and, uh, five sugars. And a donut." The blonde man smiled cheekily at the one taking his order. His nametag said, "Hi, I'm ARTHUR", but he seemed like the type of person, who, if introducing themselves, would say something more along the lines of, "Hello, my name is Arthur. My full name is Arthur George Kirkland. You'd better pay attention, it'll be on the test!"*

"We don't serve donuts here," said Arthur, who was already having a bad day, and he just hoped this idiot would refrain from pressing the issue.

"What? No donuts? But why not?" Obviously, Arthur's wish would not be granted. "I mean, donuts are only the greatest delectablest yummiest food in the whole world! Besides hamburgers, that is," he added as an afterthought. "So why wouldn't you serve them here?"

Arthur sighed. "Our cook doesn't like frying things, so—"

"But donuts aren't fried!"

The waiter glared. "Yes, they are. And I'm sorry, but you won't get a donut, even if you continue to argue with me. We just don't have them."

The customer sank into his chair. "Fine," he mumbled, "just the coffee, then."

Arthur nodded. "Alright. It'll be to you in a few minutes."

"Okay…"

The next day, the same blonde with cornflower eyes appeared at the café. "Coffee, lots of milk, five sugars, please."

His waiter, a Chinese man with a ponytail, nodded. "Will that be all, aru?"

"No. I also want a donut."

The Chinese man stared at him for a few seconds. "We don't have those, aru."

The customer pounded his fist on the table. "Dammit! You didn't yesterday, either!"

"We've never had them—"

"No, no! I came here once and I ate the most delicious donut EVER! Now, WHERE ARE YOU HIDING THE DONUTS?"

The Chinese waiter threw his hands into the air. "Aiyah! I can't deal with this, aru! Arthur, get over here, aru!"

The man's previous waiter, Arthur, strode over. "What's wrong, Yao?" he asked tiredly.

"He," Yao pointed to the customer, "keeps asking for a donut. He says he ate one here once. You deal with him." Yao marched away in a huff.

"I want a donut," mumbled the customer.

"I told you yesterday, we don't sell those here."

"B-But, I came here once, and I ate one!" protested the customer.

"When was this?" asked Arthur.

"Um…let's see, I was seven, so…15 years ago, I think?"

Arthur sighed, and sat down across from the customer. "That was then. This is now. Back then, my mum was the chef. Now it's a Frenchman who thinks he's god. I'm sorry, but you're not getting a donut."

The customer's face fell. Arthur almost felt bad for him. After all, he still got one of his mum's donuts every morning for breakfast.

"Can you make me a donut then?" asked the customer.

"M-Me? Why me?" asked Arthur, flushing. The customer smiled.

"It's your mom, right? So you can just get the recipe from her!"

"Actually, I'm not allowed in the kitchen." Which didn't make any sense, as he was a perfectly good cook!

"That's too bad. Well, I guess I'll just have my usual, then, Artie."

"That's not my name!" But he got him the coffee anyway.

This sort of sequence repeated for several weeks. The customer, whose name was Alfred, would come in at about 8:37 AM, ask for a coffee with lots of milk and five sugars and a donut, and Arthur would calmly explain to him that they did not sell donuts. One day, however, Arthur accidentally mentioned Alfred's donut ordering to his mother, and she insisted on making Alfred a donut, which she then forced Arthur to take with him to work.

"The usual, please, my coffee and a donut."

Arthur swallowed. "Coming right up." Alfred looked confused, but Arthur shuffled away before he could ask any questions.

Several minutes later, Arthur reappeared, holding a steaming cup of coffee and a small plate with a heated-up donut on it. "Here."

"A donut…?" asked Alfred slowly. Arthur nodded. "But…but you don't serve these here! You said so yourself!"

"My mum insisted I bring it to you since you always ask for them."

"Th-Thanks! Wow, this looks delicious!" He picked up the donut and bit into it. "Thish ish amazing. Oh my god. Fank you, Artie."

"Yes, yes, you're welcome. Now, I've got other customers—"

"Thank you!" Alfred said again, throwing his arms around Arthur's apron-covered middle. The waiter blushed profusely.

"G-Get off me! And the one you should be thanking is my mum, not me—"

"Then where do you live?" asked Alfred brightly.

Arthur sighed. "I'll just take you there myself. I get off at eleven, that's still about two hours, so why don't you—"

"I'll wait here!" chirped the donut-lover.

"Fine, fine…"

So, two hours later, Arthur drove his bet customer over to his house so said customer could thank said Arthur's mother for her donut. When they arrived, said mum was already preparing said donuts for the next morning. "Oh, hello, Arthur. And…guest."

"My name's Alfred. I'm the one Arthur brought the donut you made to." He smiled politely and shook Arthur's mother's hand.

"Ah, I see."

"I just came to thank you. That was one of the most delicious things I've ever eaten."

"Then thank you!" said Mrs. Kirkland. "I'm glad you liked it. I was just making some more, would you like one?"

Arthur saw Alfred's mouth start to water. "Yes, please."

Several dozen donuts and 7 pots of coffee later, Alfred was very happy, and also very hyper.

"Artie Artie Artie! These donuts are the best! The best the best the best the best the BEST!"

Arthur nodded. "I know. You've been saying that for the past hour and a half, Alfred."

"And this COFFEE! Oh my god!"

"I know, Alfred."

"Your mom. Wow, I wish I had your mom. Everything she makes is like, gold! AMAZING."

"Uh, I'll tell her you said that…"

"And that includes you! You're so nice, Artie~"

"Uh-huh—wait, what?"

"I wonder if you're as sweet as the donuts~" Alfred grinned. "Could I have a taste?"

"Wh-What?"

"That wasn't a no~" He tackled Arthur to the kitchen floor. "Now, where would I get the best taste?"

"How the hell would I know?" shouted Arthur. "Now get off of me!"

"Not without a taste~" He pressed his lips onto Arthur's, silencing his protests. Arthur blushed as a tongue ran over his lips slowly. Alfred then grinned and stood up.

"Very tasty~"

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" screamed Arthur. Alfred just giggled and grabbed another donut.

"I have to go to work now~ Bye!" He waved at Arthur before disappearing out of the kitchen.

The next morning, when Alfred asked Arthur for a donut, he didn't get one. When he asked if he could have something else sweet, he got a slap in the face. However, when he decided to simply take that something sweet he'd had the day before, he was pleased that Arthur barely complained.

*If you don't get this…I am very disappointed in you. Very disappointed.

AN: I know it's bad. Shut up.

Only a few more of these left…my apologies to these people whose requests I could not fill: tintenstern, Little Patch of Heaven, ButterflyFlutterCry, and that nice Anon who did give me a request. Well, maybe I'll fill them, but it'll take a loooong time. I have other things to focus on now, like five or six other stories. Four of them I've posted parts of…one of them I'm still outlining…the other one I'm also still outlining, but it's probably going to be original. Finally.

Ah, but I'll give you a hint on the last one I'll post: it'll include various Americas and Englands you haven't yet met. A pair or two will probably piss you off…heh heh heh.

Thanks for reading~ I hope you enjoyed!