…Been awhile, hasn't it? Yeah…hahaha…

Just so you know, this was originally written as some sort of unrelated preface to a thing I'm not really going to do anymore…oh well.

Title: Where We Meet

Pairings:USUK. And USUK, and USUK, and some fems thrown in there…

Rating:T.

Genre(s):Humor, Romance, some mild Angst

Dedications:Everyone who participated last time~ and anyone who has ever read or reviewed or favorited or any of those things!

Inspiration:Um…I really don't know. Dimensional abilities…? The multiverse is a strange place.

Warnings:Very strange.

Summary: There's that one place, hidden away in the universe, where we can all meet each other…

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia~ or any of the songs used last chapter: Comfortably Numb, Swing the Cellar Door, I Love You, The Bird and the Worm, that thing I wrote like twenty chapters ago which I guess I kind of do own unless the real song itself, Greensleeves, is public domain, which it probably is, The Best of Times, I Just Had Sex, and Eric the Half A Bee. These are owned by Pink Floyd, Hey Rosetta!, Dirty Little Rabbits, Owl City (Adam Young), public domain or me or something since I wrote the lyrics, Styx, The Lonely Island, and Monty Python.

I also don't own Papermate™

Winners from last time: Chibirisu, XxKuro-koneko-nyaxX. (More of you shoulda guessed! Come on!) And you all got what "quaffing" was, not the definition I thought it was (I honestly thought Terry Pratchett made it up…because I'm stupid…)

Now, let's begin the final oneshot!

One day in a city in a state in a country which was part of a continent in a certain hemisphere on a planet whose name shall remain a secret, a very eccentric writer was scribbling tiredly.

"Oh, woe is me!" she cried, throwing her purple Papermate™ into the air (and then looked around all over the floor for it since there was no way she could have caught it). "My muse has left me to inspire someone else! That bitch…" As she cursed out her muse, a new one hopped along. When it heard all the abuse the previous muse (who happened to be a catgirl) was getting, she ran away in fear.

This happened many, many times, until finally, the only muse the Muse Factory had left was sent over. She, too, was a catgirl, but instead of being sweet and helpful, like the original muse was, this catgirl muse was a sadistic dominatrix, dressed in leather and chains. She pulled out her whip and snapped it at the writer. "Oi!" she yelled, and the writer yelped in fear. "I've got a plot for you! Now, you're going to write it, or I'm going to murder you! We clear?"

The writer nodded meekly and the catgirl laid out her plan. Admittedly, as she was a new muse, she only had a basic idea of what she wanted the writer to do, but she liked watching her squirm in discomfort, so it all worked out for her.

The writer procrastinated for many weeks, but this only angered the sadistic catgirl, and finally she was forced to write this tale…

Somewhere in the universe, there is an empty white space where, when certain planets align in a certain way, certain people from different universes all meet at once. Very rarely, pairs of these people may meet up, if their bond is one whih can cross dimensions.

Of course, that last part was only added as some crappy foreshadowing to let you all know that that is what is going to happen. ("Hey! No breaking the fourth wall!" *smack* "I-I'm sorry! It's just so fun!" *tears* "TOO BAD! NOW WRITE!") The pair is made up of two (most of the time) men. There were a few female exceptions, but the point is that they were named Arthur Kirkland and Alfred F. Jones.

The first pair of pairs to meet were the pairs from dimensions known as Costermonger and Crescendo. These pairs were very different, and they were not very compatible, as Crescendo!Alfred would just sit in a corner while Costermonger!Alfred offered him some vegetables, and both Arthurs sulked in a nother corner because they were being ignored. Crescendo!Arthur understood that it was his fault—after all, he'd cheated on his Alfred—but he was a tsundere. It was in his nature.

Luckily, another pair from a dimension called LOL Limewire appeared. This pair most likely had seen better days, as Arthur was wearing only a vintage pirate hat, and Alfred was wearing nothing at all. Limewire!Alfred started sobbing about being raped and his laptop being demolished. Arthur yelled at his clones to man up.

After that, clones started popping up randomly, and they were all very different—a pair of 17-year-olds from Plushie, violin players 5 years apart in age from Prodigy, various punks, gangstas, and cops, children from places like Playground and Stickers, and many, many more. Soon, the room was packed.

Of course, when you pack a room with clones, it makes them start to wonder who the "real" one is. And that's when fists start flying. The first to attack was a girl named Amelia from Shopping, who threw herself at the Amelia from Since Kindergarten. Both instantly disappeared in twin puffs of blue smoke.

Stalker's Amelia realized that she was the only one left and hid on top of her green-haired boyfriend's shoulders, and watched as the clones slowly destroyed themselves.

First, LOL Limewire's Arthur was tired of being full of sexual tension (he was naked and there were hundreds of very attractive people around, what do you expect?) and jumped the person nearest him, who happened to be his Coffee Shop counterpart. This caused a chain reaction, and the two of them, along with the Arthurs of Runaway, Gingers, Postprandial, and Pen-Pal, along with the Alfreds of Stickers, Costermonger, and Runaway, were all instantly gone with a rather large puff of green smoke.

("You're killing them off too quickly. Slow it down." "B-But—" "Even if this is supposed to be yaoi [and you're doing a crap job of making it that, by the way], NO BUTS." "…Yes, Ludmila…") Suddenly, all of the various punks, gangstas, and cops realized exactly what was going on and attacked each other. They were all gone in one single puff bright yellow smoke. ("THAT'S NOT SLOWER." "S-Sorry!")

At the sight of Amelia on her boyfriend's shoulders, Since Kindergarten and Shopping's Alices got jealous of said boyfriend for still having an Amelia. They ran at him, and all four disappeared in orange smoke.

After that, it was mass commotion. No one could tell who attacked who or what color of smoke was produced anymore. It wa just a flurry of tackles and explosions.

Soon, all that were left were the pairs from the universes called Forbidden, Mental, and Hetalia. Forbidden's Arthur would not make eye contact with any Alfred, Mental's Arthur was reprimanding his Alfred for something, and Hetalia's Alfred was going on about superheroes or some crap. When they realized they were all that was left, they quickly broke into groups of Alfreds and Arthurs.

"I think this is all bloody ridiculous, and I want to go home," sniffed Hetalia's Arthur. Forbidden's Arthur agreed, but Mental's didn't.

"I'm in a rehab clinic back home! I don't want to go back!"

Meanwhile, the Alfreds were making much less progress. "I-I kissed him, a-and he pushed me away!" sobbed Forbidden's Alfred.

"I was only trying to help him, but now he hates me! He's my best friend! What do I do?" cried Mental's Alfred.

"He doesn't get it! Building a hero to block the sun would end global warning like that!" Hetalia's Alfred snapped weakly. "Like that…"

They hugged each other and cried. "I'm so glad I finally have someone who understands!" they said to each other simultaneously.

The Arthurs, who were listening in, rolled their eyes. Idiots, they all thought. "Come here, git, we're leaving," barked Hetalia's Arthur. All three Alfreds turned their heads. "My Alfred." His Alfred broke away and ran over to him. The other two, to the surprise of their partners, did the same.

All three Alfreds tackled Hetalia Arthur. The other Arthurs, angry, ran after him. In one small puff of white smoke, all six were gone.

The Powers That Be decided to never do pairs again.

おわり(OWARI)*

"Wait, was that the ending?" shrieked Ludmila. The writer cowered.

"Y-Yes?"

"That was terrible!" she yelled. The author, in a move of braveness/stupidity, narrowed her eyes.

"Why don't you write it then?"

The muse and the writer glared at each other. "Don't call me when people complain," muttered the catgirl as she stalked away.

"I won't!" called the writer.

The next day, she presented her muse with catnip and an edited ending. "Yeah, well, don't expect to buy your way out of trouble like this again!" shouted the muse. The writer laughed.

She decided she really liked this new muse.

*That's actually how I end these things when I write them out on paper. With the Japanese characters and everything.

AN: Well then, there's the last of these oneshots! I wanted to get a nice, round 30, but I might if I post something else later…

I guess this one was almost like a giant middle finger to the face, now that I think about it. I mean, I added in all of these extra Arthurs and Alfreds that you've never heard of, like the one that cheats on his partner, and the pirate one, and the list goes on…well, sorry about that. Maybe I'll post one of them. If you ask nicely and specify and give me some kind of compensation. 'Cause those things can get long.

Anyway, thanks for reading this (for now) final oneshot!

Oh, and PS: I made a tumblr account. I don't know if I'll post stuff about fanfictions on there, but if you want to read my diary from the past few days, here it is: h t t p :/th elydiac atfishca mblr. com / (just remove the spaces)